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(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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I once drove Baldmonkey to a complete breakdown by getting married.
What's your most successful act of trolling?

Alt: (◉~◉)
(, Fri 15 Feb 2013, 11:12, 176 replies, latest was 12 years ago)
Dunno, soz
(◉‿◉)
(, Fri 15 Feb 2013, 11:13, Reply)
I don't troll. Sorry about that.

(, Fri 15 Feb 2013, 11:14, Reply)
Legless once epically trolled himself.
b3ta.com/questions/racistgrandparents/post1407042
(, Fri 15 Feb 2013, 11:24, Reply)
oh dear

(, Fri 15 Feb 2013, 11:28, Reply)
The best bit is where Emvee and co turn up to claim that it's actually an act of trolling and anyone taking the piss has been expertyly trolled.
Apparently in all seriousness.
(, Fri 15 Feb 2013, 11:31, Reply)
The best bit ALWAYS involves EmVee turning up.

(, Fri 15 Feb 2013, 11:41, Reply)
It's not a party without Ems and his balloon hat

(, Fri 15 Feb 2013, 11:44, Reply)

hat knot
(, Fri 15 Feb 2013, 11:57, Reply)
I feel sorry for him, he's got a mind filled with thousands of jokes and he's back to being poor
:(

Cheers
(, Fri 15 Feb 2013, 11:30, Reply)
ah yes, didn't his wife throw him out?
And this hasn't at all turned him into a bitter, woman hating racist?

Cheers.
(, Fri 15 Feb 2013, 11:32, Reply)
When she said she was leaving him did he instead tell her that 'no, in fact, it is I who made you leave'
And then cheers'd his way out the door
(, Fri 15 Feb 2013, 11:39, Reply)
So mnay people here have mental exs
Makes you wonder where the mental actually lies
(, Fri 15 Feb 2013, 11:40, Reply)
:o(

(, Fri 15 Feb 2013, 11:42, Reply)
I think your case is pretty clear cut

(, Fri 15 Feb 2013, 11:44, Reply)
I dunno,
it might turn out they didn't even have a child, and she is is confused and upset by monty's legal procedings
(, Fri 15 Feb 2013, 11:48, Reply)
Or they all died years ago and the legal proceedings are the only way to keep the fantasy still alive
DIRECTED BY M NIGHT SHYMALAMAN
(, Fri 15 Feb 2013, 11:54, Reply)
I think for some of my exs I was the mental one and for others they were the mental ones
I was definitely less mental than the 'I can control weather' one and more mental than the school teacher
I hope this helps
(, Fri 15 Feb 2013, 11:42, Reply)
it really does
I would like to meet the queen of the weather
(, Fri 15 Feb 2013, 11:44, Reply)
She used to stand on the side of a hill with her eyes closed telling me 'can you feel that? I'm making it rain more'

(, Fri 15 Feb 2013, 11:45, Reply)
She was trying to tell you that she was frothing at the clopper and wanted you to take her there and then amongst the gorse and cow pats

(, Fri 15 Feb 2013, 11:46, Reply)
Nah, middle of Boston Park in Rotherham
More like amongst the discarded needles and white lightning bottles
(, Fri 15 Feb 2013, 11:50, Reply)
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha haaaaaaaaaa

(, Fri 15 Feb 2013, 11:48, Reply)
Superb.

(, Fri 15 Feb 2013, 11:49, Reply)
I had to log out to read that, but DAMN that was worth it.
Hilarious internet.
(, Fri 15 Feb 2013, 11:39, Reply)
How are you settling in now, new person?

(, Fri 15 Feb 2013, 11:40, Reply)
Not sure, I'll give it another 5 years before I decide.

(, Fri 15 Feb 2013, 11:41, Reply)
Cheers












Cheers
(, Fri 15 Feb 2013, 11:43, Reply)
I am obviously heartbroken he has me on 2.0

(, Fri 15 Feb 2013, 11:45, Reply)
I've never trolled anyone, I'm like the big fluffy lovable cuddletron of the internet
I LUFF U ALL
(◉‿◉)
(, Fri 15 Feb 2013, 11:14, Reply)
It's precisely this sort of relationship that is ruining b3ta.

(, Fri 15 Feb 2013, 11:17, Reply)
I have never trolled anyone, ever

(, Fri 15 Feb 2013, 11:17, Reply)
when i looked up breading on urban dictionary
it was something to do with wiping a piece of bread around a toilet and then eating it.

however, his mate had told him it was drinking the content from a used condom.

i still think the cat thing is sicker than either of these amiable pastimes.
(, Fri 15 Feb 2013, 11:24, Reply)
Why did he spack out anyway?

(, Fri 15 Feb 2013, 11:17, Reply)
They revoked his invite after he threatened to take a shit on the page boy

(, Fri 15 Feb 2013, 11:18, Reply)
missing the odd chromosome

(, Fri 15 Feb 2013, 11:24, Reply)
I’m not very good at trolling, but I do a mean Orc
(◉‿◉)
(, Fri 15 Feb 2013, 11:17, Reply)
I made batshitmentalist pay someones mortgage.

(, Fri 15 Feb 2013, 11:18, Reply)
What about the bumhole pictures?

(, Fri 15 Feb 2013, 11:18, Reply)
No their relationship wasn't like that!
It was a perfectly normal transatlantic friendship between an alcoholic plumber and mentally ill animal welfare specialist which occasionaly needed cash transfers to grease the wheels.
(, Fri 15 Feb 2013, 11:20, Reply)
Super Mario's got complex since I last played

(, Fri 15 Feb 2013, 11:21, Reply)
Haha
Click
(, Fri 15 Feb 2013, 11:22, Reply)
By sending her pictures of your barking spider?

(, Fri 15 Feb 2013, 11:19, Reply)
How in the name of hell?
Or, to put it another way, link?

Never bin no troll-bastard. Bin troll-magnet. Bin overly sensitive internet twatfool.
(, Fri 15 Feb 2013, 11:22, Reply)
Wait, you mean this whole gay dancer routine isn't just an elaborate troll?

(, Fri 15 Feb 2013, 11:23, Reply)
no, he just looks like one

(, Fri 15 Feb 2013, 11:25, Reply)
Oh, that's brilliant
Well done. Very well done.

*standing ovation*
(, Fri 15 Feb 2013, 11:30, Reply)
maybe it was all an elaborate scam and you are now actually married to baldmonkey who has stitched himself into your wife's skin like a onesie with tits

(, Fri 15 Feb 2013, 11:26, Reply)
This seems the most plausible explanation.

(, Fri 15 Feb 2013, 11:27, Reply)
Who else is in there?

(, Fri 15 Feb 2013, 11:28, Reply)
Rik Waller
purveyor of the finest neck beard in pop
(, Fri 15 Feb 2013, 11:29, Reply)
As if Rik Waller had a neck

(, Fri 15 Feb 2013, 11:30, Reply)
His twitter feed made me laugh.
https://mobile.twitter.com/Rik_Waller
(, Fri 15 Feb 2013, 11:32, Reply)
Yeah that's quite funny actually

(, Fri 15 Feb 2013, 11:35, Reply)

(⦿~⊖)
(, Fri 15 Feb 2013, 11:30, Reply)
Hi PJ how's reconciliation going?

(, Fri 15 Feb 2013, 11:30, Reply)
Its not yet
but I am there every evening to make sure Teela and ManatArms get a hug
(, Fri 15 Feb 2013, 12:10, Reply)
Well best of luck old chap

(, Fri 15 Feb 2013, 12:11, Reply)
I'll shove my cock down her throat
bitches love that
(, Fri 15 Feb 2013, 12:13, Reply)
Hey Kroney, I need to set up my laptop and my Tv can you help?

(, Fri 15 Feb 2013, 11:37, Reply)
Sure!
\(◉‿◉)/
(, Fri 15 Feb 2013, 11:39, Reply)
*proffers orange drink*

(, Fri 15 Feb 2013, 11:41, Reply)
*gets popcorn*
*puts 30ft VGA and HDMI cables on Ebay*
(, Fri 15 Feb 2013, 11:42, Reply)
Anyone want to see some sexy pictures from my valentines day?

(, Fri 15 Feb 2013, 11:56, Reply)
is it you high end gaming by yourself?

(, Fri 15 Feb 2013, 11:56, Reply)
Even better
www.b3tards.com/u/bd1b96752d74d6c46c1a/chops.jpg
(, Fri 15 Feb 2013, 11:59, Reply)
You had a shit on a plate?

(, Fri 15 Feb 2013, 11:59, Reply)
Do you often put chopped corriander on your shit?

(, Fri 15 Feb 2013, 12:01, Reply)
not often no, but if the recipe requires it

(, Fri 15 Feb 2013, 12:03, Reply)
Those are some really ugly plates

(, Fri 15 Feb 2013, 12:00, Reply)
I was wondering how many people would say that.

(, Fri 15 Feb 2013, 12:00, Reply)
They look like fruit dishes

(, Fri 15 Feb 2013, 12:01, Reply)
They're not great, but buying a TV and mattress before we bother to replace them.

(, Fri 15 Feb 2013, 12:03, Reply)
he's correct

(, Fri 15 Feb 2013, 12:01, Reply)
Did you remember to poison someone with the dessert?

(, Fri 15 Feb 2013, 12:01, Reply)
has someone pulled a party popper on your food?

(, Fri 15 Feb 2013, 12:23, Reply)
Is it of the black spot under the bed?

(, Fri 15 Feb 2013, 11:58, Reply)
Amsterdam flights booked!
(◉‿◉)
(, Fri 15 Feb 2013, 11:56, Reply)
Wait till you go on the double decker train
From the airport to Amsterdam
(, Fri 15 Feb 2013, 11:58, Reply)
done it before, it was well fun

(, Fri 15 Feb 2013, 11:58, Reply)
The ticket machine has the word cunt on it.

(, Fri 15 Feb 2013, 11:59, Reply)
Them outdoor urinals are well weird

(, Fri 15 Feb 2013, 12:00, Reply)
They have those in Hoxton now.

(, Fri 15 Feb 2013, 12:35, Reply)
It makes you feel a bit
Well, exposed I suppose
(, Fri 15 Feb 2013, 12:45, Reply)
Last time I was there was 2006
I expected a seedy shithole of a place, it's quite a nice city TBH
(, Fri 15 Feb 2013, 12:00, Reply)
I know, been before innit
this is for a stag do though and I suspect it will be messy
(, Fri 15 Feb 2013, 12:00, Reply)
I'm trying to persuade one of my friends to get married so I can go to Amsterdam again.

(, Fri 15 Feb 2013, 12:07, Reply)
Anyone who encounters me.
*sad face*
(, Fri 15 Feb 2013, 12:02, Reply)
I once got Emvee (I think) all worked up over Personality Horse
That was fun. He's a good sport.
(, Fri 15 Feb 2013, 12:07, Reply)
I think he was more annoyed that jokes about your wedding and wife were taboo from the point of view of the mods, but it was ok to post pictures on board of tentacle rape by that moggy woman thing.
To be honest badge, I liked balders, he went a bit too wakki sometimes, but that was part of his charm.
(, Fri 15 Feb 2013, 12:13, Reply)
^This is true
It was more about being singled out because they were friends of the mods. You wouldn't catch me being good friends IRL with a mod. Ahem.
*deliberately doesn't get involved*
(, Fri 15 Feb 2013, 12:14, Reply)
You're b3ths husband?

(, Fri 15 Feb 2013, 12:15, Reply)
lol.
No one came out looking good from that debacle.
(, Fri 15 Feb 2013, 12:16, Reply)
No, they didn't
BM could've just dropped it, but some of it didn't seem terribly fair. I told him to his face that should just leave it (he didn't agree) and I explained the situation to the tall one. Again, there was a difference of opinion.
As I say, I didn't really want to get too involved.
(, Fri 15 Feb 2013, 12:18, Reply)
You were behind all of it, egging them both on

(, Fri 15 Feb 2013, 12:18, Reply)
I bet he had a full scale drama-bongle going.

(, Fri 15 Feb 2013, 12:20, Reply)
officelol at "full scale drama-bongle"

(, Fri 15 Feb 2013, 12:22, Reply)
You know your problem, Theoban?
You're a rabble-rouser. That's right. You rouse rabbles.
(, Fri 15 Feb 2013, 12:21, Reply)
He has certainly caused a stir amongst my rabble.

(, Fri 15 Feb 2013, 12:22, Reply)
I KNEW IT!

(, Fri 15 Feb 2013, 12:23, Reply)
It was a real shame it worked out the way it did
But there we are.
(, Fri 15 Feb 2013, 12:24, Reply)
I thought it was all a big scripted joke at everyone else's expense!?

(, Fri 15 Feb 2013, 12:26, Reply)
Really?
No, he really did get very upset about all that. That's why he's not here anymore...he asked to be perma-banned.
(, Fri 15 Feb 2013, 12:28, Reply)
oh...I thought you guys came out saying it was all for the lols
So there actually was dildo theft, wall punching and dinner party storming offs?

genius
(, Fri 15 Feb 2013, 12:30, Reply)

www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1865222
(, Fri 15 Feb 2013, 12:31, Reply)
As Tangled has already pointed out, different story
Dildo theft, wall punching, etc = All made up on the fly. Made some people more upset than it should've done really. Never understood that.

BM getting stepped for joking about the wedding, then eventually getting banned = All real.
(, Fri 15 Feb 2013, 12:36, Reply)
i see

(, Fri 15 Feb 2013, 12:36, Reply)
Dildogate was some of the best internet I have ever seen

(, Fri 15 Feb 2013, 12:39, Reply)
Aw, thanks Monce
Yeah, it was fun at the time.
(, Fri 15 Feb 2013, 12:40, Reply)
Yeah it was good
Thanks for giving me a headsup on it too, you're a kind soul, sweet beard man
(, Fri 15 Feb 2013, 12:46, Reply)
That and Personality Horse are basically my favourite things ever on here
(well in terms of actual creativity rather than mockery/idiocy)
(, Fri 15 Feb 2013, 12:46, Reply)


(, Fri 15 Feb 2013, 12:47, Reply)
For some reason I found Bollocks Parrot very funny.
No idea why.
(, Fri 15 Feb 2013, 12:47, Reply)
SQUAWK!

(, Fri 15 Feb 2013, 12:48, Reply)
I liked Bollocks Parrot too

(, Fri 15 Feb 2013, 12:48, Reply)
The PH smash hits interviews etc were marvellous.

(, Fri 15 Feb 2013, 12:48, Reply)
Yeah, they were fun to do
You know, some of those things were written when I was in hospital. My family were a bit upset actually...he took a photo of me with my intravenous drip and everything, then posted it on fucking Twitter. Me and my wife started getting phone calls and text messages saying "OH GOD, WHY IS HE IN HOSPITAL??? WHY DIDN'T ANYONE TELL US?".
Idiot.
(, Fri 15 Feb 2013, 12:50, Reply)
Oh that baldmonkey, he courts controversy whichever bit of the internet he posts on.
D'you think it's his adorable cheeky scamp expression that allows him to get away with it?
(, Fri 15 Feb 2013, 12:54, Reply)
Whatever it was
It's over now :(
(, Fri 15 Feb 2013, 13:05, Reply)
no wonder bm hates eggs :(

(, Fri 15 Feb 2013, 12:24, Reply)
Then who punched which wall?

(, Fri 15 Feb 2013, 12:24, Reply)
Different story

(, Fri 15 Feb 2013, 12:27, Reply)
I just had a large salad from Sainsburys
It was very large. I feel I should have just had a medium. My eyes are definitely bigger than my tummy.
(, Fri 15 Feb 2013, 12:31, Reply)
You think a medium would have contacted the dead to find out how filling a large salad might be?

(, Fri 15 Feb 2013, 12:32, Reply)
what kind of salad?
a real salad, with carbs and mayo and cheese, or a fake green one?
(, Fri 15 Feb 2013, 12:36, Reply)
A real one, with pasta, eggs, butter beans, pesto, coronation chicken, ham, peppers, potatoes and mayo.

(, Fri 15 Feb 2013, 12:39, Reply)
get rid of the chicken and ham and that sounds nice
i fucking love a bit of pesto
(, Fri 15 Feb 2013, 12:42, Reply)
I have a thing about coronation chicken
I know it's really naff, but I just really like it.
(, Fri 15 Feb 2013, 12:43, Reply)
nothing
apart from making YKW cry like a little retarded bitch about me having the nerve to post on here at all. but that's not really trolling.

i once tried to troll omegle - think i was going to be jesus - but lasted about 2 seconds due to the desperate horny teenagers asking "A/S/L".
(, Fri 15 Feb 2013, 12:36, Reply)
YKW?

(, Fri 15 Feb 2013, 12:40, Reply)
YouKnowWho

(, Fri 15 Feb 2013, 12:42, Reply)
Voldemort?

(, Fri 15 Feb 2013, 12:43, Reply)
Oh man, I miss baldmonkey.

(, Fri 15 Feb 2013, 12:39, Reply)
We need a new thread.

(, Fri 15 Feb 2013, 12:44, Reply)
Done

(, Fri 15 Feb 2013, 12:48, Reply)

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