would you eat a dog poo for a million quid?

(King Zog of Albania lives in Kensington, Mon 18 Feb 2013, 13:35, 123 replies, latest was 13 years ago)

I'd eat it for a tenner tbh

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 18 Feb 2013, 13:39, Reply)

I want the tenner first this time though.
I ent falling for that one again.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 18 Feb 2013, 13:48, Reply)

Yeah

(PsychoChomp, Mon 18 Feb 2013, 13:46, Reply)

Shit, yeah.
On toast with garlic mayo.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 18 Feb 2013, 13:46, Reply)

Depends
I'd rather be alive and/or not blind than have a million quid.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 18 Feb 2013, 13:48, Reply)

That being said, if there was no chance of serious illness
Sure, I'd do it.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 18 Feb 2013, 13:49, Reply)

You probably already have in a Findus Dog Shit Pancake.
Dog crap on a plate for youuuuu!
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 18 Feb 2013, 13:51, Reply)

I would say that's fairly unlikely

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 18 Feb 2013, 13:53, Reply)

Would you eat your parrot for a million quid?

(PsychoChomp, Mon 18 Feb 2013, 13:48, Reply)

I know someone who sucked a dog's cock for a wrap of speed that didn't actually exist, in about1988

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 18 Feb 2013, 13:48, Reply)

All the people in your stories "didn't actually exist"

(PsychoChomp, Mon 18 Feb 2013, 13:49, Reply)

His name is Nick Joseph.
Hi Nick, if you're reading!!!!!!
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 18 Feb 2013, 13:52, Reply)

I bet he's a stand up guy now!

(PsychoChomp, Mon 18 Feb 2013, 13:53, Reply)

He was a pupil of my father's, until he got expelled for drugs. His parent are unfathomably wealthy but disowned him.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 18 Feb 2013, 13:54, Reply)

And gobbling the local chien.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 18 Feb 2013, 13:56, Reply)

I doubt he is reading, as the last time I saw him he was begging for smack money in Eastleigh.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 18 Feb 2013, 13:54, Reply)

There's not much else to do in Eastliegh, tbh

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 18 Feb 2013, 13:55, Reply)

Quite so.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 18 Feb 2013, 13:57, Reply)

One of our customers is there
I have visited

*shudders*
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 18 Feb 2013, 14:05, Reply)

I once walked home from there on Xmas eve, all the way to Winchester, down the motorway hard shoulder.
I spent my last tenner on a chinky and then missed the last train so off i trudged, eating my chinky as I went.

Not the best night of my life.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 18 Feb 2013, 14:11, Reply)

2011 wasn't a great year for you eh?

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 18 Feb 2013, 14:13, Reply)

None of them have been much cop for decades

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 18 Feb 2013, 14:14, Reply)

You'll always have your memories of Treworgey Tree Fayre.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 18 Feb 2013, 14:18, Reply)

Did you then cut his head off?
What's that smell? Is that sheep? Cows? Horses? Nah, that's bullshit.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 18 Feb 2013, 13:50, Reply)

The Chinny Reckon is strong with this one.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 18 Feb 2013, 14:02, Reply)

You fucking what?
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 18 Feb 2013, 13:52, Reply)

yes.
I'd do a lot of things for a million quid.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 18 Feb 2013, 13:52, Reply)

Hello Windy
I'm very depressed today Windy. What can I do to lift my spirits?
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 18 Feb 2013, 13:54, Reply)

Hi TH sorry to butt in here, the answer is to listen to some of your favourite music really loud.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 18 Feb 2013, 13:56, Reply)

Hmm...the family have gone out for a bit, so now is a good opportunity
Thanks Monce...that's just crazy enough to work. Now where's my copy of "The Greatest Hits of Bronski Beat"....
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 18 Feb 2013, 13:57, Reply)

Nothing says 'cheer you up' like a short sharp burst of 'Smalltown Boy' and that's for sure!

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 18 Feb 2013, 13:58, Reply)

Couldn't find it, so I've plumped for a bit of Sabbath

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 18 Feb 2013, 13:59, Reply)

Black Sabbath: the poor man's Bronski.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 18 Feb 2013, 14:00, Reply)

Ozzy Osbourne: The Black Country Jimmy Somerville

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 18 Feb 2013, 14:02, Reply)

Quite so, Mister Hats sir.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 18 Feb 2013, 14:03, Reply)

have you tried watching the gif on the popular page?

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 18 Feb 2013, 13:56, Reply)

It IS very amusing
But I feel like I need something more.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 18 Feb 2013, 13:57, Reply)

then I defer to monsignor boycington

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 18 Feb 2013, 13:59, Reply)

I think you all should be made aware that my throat is still very sore.
But I'm soldiering on.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 18 Feb 2013, 13:52, Reply)

have you tried throat lozenges? or some sort of syrup.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 18 Feb 2013, 13:53, Reply)

Yes.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 18 Feb 2013, 13:56, Reply)

spunk gargle?

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 18 Feb 2013, 13:56, Reply)

Is that an offer?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 18 Feb 2013, 14:00, Reply)

Have you tried not being a massive bender?

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 18 Feb 2013, 13:56, Reply)

Once, but it didn't really suit me.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 18 Feb 2013, 14:00, Reply)

Have you tried shutting the fuck up? Or fucking off?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 18 Feb 2013, 13:56, Reply)

I've been pretty quiet today, what with this sore throat and all.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 18 Feb 2013, 14:00, Reply)

I read this as 'abloobloobloobloo'

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 18 Feb 2013, 14:00, Reply)

That's pretty much how it comes out if I say it aloud.
It's because of my dreadfully sore throat, you see?
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 18 Feb 2013, 14:02, Reply)

Cut your throat out.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 18 Feb 2013, 14:00, Reply)

This suggestion seems to involve further pain and likely death.
Like I said, I'm soldiering on.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 18 Feb 2013, 14:08, Reply)

would you only eat the poo of a vegetarian dog?
I'm sure monty would feed it some strepsils first too for your poor throat.
( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Mon 18 Feb 2013, 14:13, Reply)

Course I would! I'm not entirely inhuman

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 18 Feb 2013, 14:29, Reply)

kuntandtheganglols

( Peej, Mon 18 Feb 2013, 13:53, Reply)

Most non-existent of all the lols

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 18 Feb 2013, 14:02, Reply)

I have two acquaintances,
lets call them Luke and Dave.

Luke bet Dave a tenner that he wouldn't eat a nugget of his shit. Dave accepts and Luke shit on a plate. Dave to everyones disgust broke off a very small piece and ate it. Dave then bets Luke a tenner he wouldn't do the same, Luke breaks off a slightly larger piece and eats it.

Result - They both ate shit for nothing.

Twats
( Peej, Mon 18 Feb 2013, 13:56, Reply)

tl;dr

(King Zog of Albania lives in Kensington, Mon 18 Feb 2013, 13:57, Reply)

(◉‿◉)
( Peej, Mon 18 Feb 2013, 13:59, Reply)

Yeah, but 'Luke' ate his OWN shit, so he wins.
That's practically homeopathy.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 18 Feb 2013, 13:57, Reply)

Depends who's shit it is.
Keira Knightley = yes.
You = no.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 18 Feb 2013, 13:59, Reply)

Is Keira Knightly a dog?

( Peej, Mon 18 Feb 2013, 14:00, Reply)

A bit, yeah.
Certainly never seen the attraction, myself.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 18 Feb 2013, 14:02, Reply)

The attraction lies in the fact that she's stunning.

( Kroney, Mon 18 Feb 2013, 14:16, Reply)

Some would say yes.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 18 Feb 2013, 14:02, Reply)

As far as I can see, her main crime in regards to being considered unattractive is that she is thin.
I don't really see the problem with that.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 18 Feb 2013, 14:03, Reply)

Her tits go inwards
This is the problem I have with her
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 18 Feb 2013, 14:04, Reply)

No they don't they're just small.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 18 Feb 2013, 14:05, Reply)

Dont get me wrong, I think she is very pretty

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 18 Feb 2013, 14:07, Reply)

I have no problem with small breasts.
In fact, I rather like them.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 18 Feb 2013, 14:07, Reply)

paedo

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 18 Feb 2013, 14:12, Reply)

Not all small-breasted females are underage.
And not all underage females have small breasts.
I hope this helps you in future endeavours.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 18 Feb 2013, 14:16, Reply)

Thanks Bartleby.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 18 Feb 2013, 14:18, Reply)

all women in the media have
a DUTY to be attractive
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 18 Feb 2013, 14:08, Reply)

I agree.
But she is attractive.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 18 Feb 2013, 14:09, Reply)

Supporting a vegetarian, right here.
I feel ashamed, but there it is.
( Kroney, Mon 18 Feb 2013, 14:17, Reply)

You'd eat Keira Knightley's dog's shit?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 18 Feb 2013, 14:01, Reply)

I don't know if she owns a dog.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 18 Feb 2013, 14:02, Reply)

She rents, with an option to buy

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 18 Feb 2013, 14:05, Reply)

After its sadly premature demise, she took ownership of Ken Dodd's dad's dog's daughter, Di.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 18 Feb 2013, 14:05, Reply)

Textbook.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 18 Feb 2013, 14:13, Reply)

fuck you its my birthday

( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 18 Feb 2013, 14:38, Reply)

Not on facebook it's not.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 18 Feb 2013, 14:47, Reply)

I'm not on Facebook

( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 18 Feb 2013, 14:48, Reply)

Happy birthday Swizzles!

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 18 Feb 2013, 14:47, Reply)

I feel such a fool now.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 18 Feb 2013, 14:47, Reply)

thank you Montyyyy

( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 18 Feb 2013, 14:48, Reply)

happy birthday!
you're only as old as the number of years since you were born
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Mon 18 Feb 2013, 14:48, Reply)

only 30 then!
Old :((
( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 18 Feb 2013, 14:48, Reply)

I'm FORTY in September.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 18 Feb 2013, 14:54, Reply)

fuck
you might as well be dead
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 18 Feb 2013, 14:54, Reply)

ohmygooooood

( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 18 Feb 2013, 14:55, Reply)

happy birthday, then

`
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 18 Feb 2013, 14:51, Reply)

well thanks

( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 18 Feb 2013, 14:54, Reply)

NEW THREAD
Not wishing to piss on Kristine's birthday chips, sorry pet

Happy birthday!
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 18 Feb 2013, 14:49, Reply)

prick

( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 18 Feb 2013, 14:54, Reply)

Oh man, I have a homebrew dillema.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 18 Feb 2013, 14:51, Reply)

just do it
brew your house. Brick wine is delicious
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 18 Feb 2013, 14:54, Reply)