Weird no-man's-land 5pm thread.
It was agreed in the last thread that Jay Kay is probably alright and would be a laugh down the pub.

Who else, live or dead, do you reckon would be good value? Keith Moon, obv.

Alt: who would be the worst person you can think of to go on the piss with? Jim Carrey would be fucking annoying. I'd end up lamping him by pint 5 I reckon.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 28 Feb 2013, 17:02, 102 replies, latest was 13 years ago)

Thank god I got banned from that last one
Henry VIII on a good day
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 28 Feb 2013, 17:05, Reply)

Henry VIII in his early 20s.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 28 Feb 2013, 17:06, Reply)

that's the one, I'm thinking feasting and jousting etc

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 28 Feb 2013, 17:07, Reply)

Not gout and bellowing.
Stunned has that angle covered these days anyway, don't need two of 'em.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 28 Feb 2013, 17:09, Reply)

Pint 5? Mellowing in your old age?
Although that's, what, 15 minutes in?
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 28 Feb 2013, 17:05, Reply)

15-20mins.
Mellowing in my old age, you see.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 28 Feb 2013, 17:06, Reply)

Alt Super Matt and Bill

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 28 Feb 2013, 17:06, Reply)

Very, very good call indeed, young man.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 28 Feb 2013, 17:08, Reply)

It's funny you say that
I was looking at some pictures of me from about 5 years ago, not that long you'd think, but I really have aged tremendously. i blame the child.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 28 Feb 2013, 17:11, Reply)

My beard and glasses have aged me by about ten years.
I don't get carded buying booze, like, ever anymore.
( Kroney, Thu 28 Feb 2013, 17:13, Reply)

Even though I am 39 and have grey hair, there's a part of me that is gutted when they wave through my booze without scrutiny.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 28 Feb 2013, 17:14, Reply)

I'm blaming it on the facial accessories.
That way I can still pretend a repeat of that glorious summer's day in Waitrose two years ago might just be possible*

*it isn't
( Kroney, Thu 28 Feb 2013, 17:17, Reply)

me neither, even in the places that say you need to look 25 :o(
I will end up with glasses at some point, i may as well geta walking stick at the same time
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 28 Feb 2013, 17:14, Reply)

It was a shock when I realised I needed some.
Before I know it it'll be incontinence pants.
( Kroney, Thu 28 Feb 2013, 17:18, Reply)

I find it hard to focus on my computer screen, everything is fine though

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 28 Feb 2013, 17:24, Reply)

me too, but that's mainly because what is on it is so fucking tedious

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 28 Feb 2013, 17:29, Reply)

As we are all talking burgers at the moment:
www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/wordofmouth/2010/aug/05/how-to-make-perfect-hamburger
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 28 Feb 2013, 17:09, Reply)

I'm fucking starving now.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 28 Feb 2013, 17:10, Reply)

I know, all I have is another warm apple...

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 28 Feb 2013, 17:11, Reply)

Alt: Joe Pasquale

( Kroney, Thu 28 Feb 2013, 17:11, Reply)

For all his bullshit, i like stewart lee's stand up about him

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 28 Feb 2013, 17:12, Reply)

I haven't seen that.
I just reckon thinking "Jesus, shut the fuck UP" all night wouldn't be fun.
( Kroney, Thu 28 Feb 2013, 17:13, Reply)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0YE9Kthyaco
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 28 Feb 2013, 17:15, Reply)

Brian Blessed seems a fun chap.

Alt. David Cameron.
I reckon he'd cry after a few gins
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 28 Feb 2013, 17:13, Reply)

Alt: true, but the most annoying ever? Nahhhh.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 28 Feb 2013, 17:14, Reply)

Even if you don't like DC, he could potentially be interesting, if you got him pissed enough

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 28 Feb 2013, 17:15, Reply)

Quite. Get him slagging his colleagues and opponents off etc.
Could be well LOL.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 28 Feb 2013, 17:18, Reply)

He was in that club at Oxbridge, wasn't he?
You know the one. The one where Rupert and Algie get REARLY squiffy and run across campus without their plus fours on
( Kroney, Thu 28 Feb 2013, 17:20, Reply)

I don't see the problem with the Bullingdon Club
So some young men got together got pissed up and acted like dicks, it's hardly unusual.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 28 Feb 2013, 17:21, Reply)

True indeed, 'Tom Jones'.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 28 Feb 2013, 17:22, Reply)

I don't have a problem with it either
I was attempting, clumsily, to indicate that it probably isn't all that outrageous at all.
( Kroney, Thu 28 Feb 2013, 17:24, Reply)

Riding their valets around the quadrangle like horses.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 28 Feb 2013, 17:22, Reply)

I love a good quad, reminds me of my school days

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 28 Feb 2013, 17:23, Reply)

Winchester College is fucking awesome site.
The boarding houses and quads etc are mental.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 28 Feb 2013, 17:28, Reply)

I see your point.

And raise you Kerry Katona
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 28 Feb 2013, 17:19, Reply)

I see your point
and raise you anyone from Big Brother, TOWIE, Jersey Shore etc etc etc
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 28 Feb 2013, 17:21, Reply)

I'd deck Tony Blair before the first sip.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 28 Feb 2013, 17:16, Reply)

What you having Tony?
"Well, erm, and I'm going to answer that. But first... the....." SMACK
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 28 Feb 2013, 17:17, Reply)

He'd just end up crying over Iraq
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 28 Feb 2013, 17:18, Reply)

The cunt was 'told by god' to do that shit.
This works because it absolves him of all responcibilty.

Still though, imagine if Husain was still about today?
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 28 Feb 2013, 17:21, Reply)

Middle East would probably be more stable

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 28 Feb 2013, 17:22, Reply)

I donno man, he's pretty phsyco

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 28 Feb 2013, 17:25, Reply)

Are you coming on to Chompy?

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 28 Feb 2013, 17:27, Reply)

I wouldn't have sex with chompy by himself, but i'd do a 2-boys-on-one-girl threesome with him.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 28 Feb 2013, 17:30, Reply)

I hear his GF is pretty liberal minded.
Perhaps this is an opportunity for you Gonz.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 28 Feb 2013, 17:32, Reply)

I don't want her to risk falling in love with me

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 28 Feb 2013, 17:45, Reply)

Excellent reason.

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 28 Feb 2013, 17:46, Reply)

I'll only hurt her.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 28 Feb 2013, 17:48, Reply)

as from earlier, nick swardson would be a blast, stiffler, although hes a character, he should count
Alt robin williams
( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 28 Feb 2013, 17:17, Reply)

Williams is a big hairy cunt

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 28 Feb 2013, 17:18, Reply)

true story
Also, mickey rourke
( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 28 Feb 2013, 17:20, Reply)

He's also a big hairy Mickey Rourke?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 28 Feb 2013, 17:21, Reply)

i would yell but im too ugh

( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 28 Feb 2013, 17:29, Reply)

My shortlist was Carrey, Williams and Woody Allen.
Imagine all three of them at once, all fucked on cocaine??? Dear God.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 28 Feb 2013, 17:23, Reply)

+ Terry Christian and Janet Street Porter

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 28 Feb 2013, 17:24, Reply)

RANET REEET ROUWHGTARRRRRGHHHH
God imagine her after a couple of bottles of wine.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 28 Feb 2013, 17:29, Reply)

Ugh, the fucking *cackle* on it.

( Kroney, Thu 28 Feb 2013, 17:29, Reply)

I'm gritting my teeth just thinking about it

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 28 Feb 2013, 17:35, Reply)

Still would

( Theoban What of it, Thu 28 Feb 2013, 17:48, Reply)

I thought Carrey and Williams were the last two Archbishops of Canterbury.

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 28 Feb 2013, 17:25, Reply)

LOL

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 28 Feb 2013, 17:28, Reply)

Oliver Reed would be good value for a session down the pub.
ALt: Anybody who nurses a pint all evening, and won't buy their round. Tight fuckers.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 28 Feb 2013, 17:21, Reply)

I think I'd last about half an hour trying to match drinks with Ollie Read.

( Kroney, Thu 28 Feb 2013, 17:28, Reply)

It would be good practice.

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 28 Feb 2013, 17:30, Reply)

I reckon I could drink him under the table.
Not whilst he was alive, though, obv.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 28 Feb 2013, 17:34, Reply)

You could definitely arm wrestle im under the table
If you were in Malta around 2000
( Theoban What of it, Thu 28 Feb 2013, 17:38, Reply)

*Holds up one hand with the other hand going OH OH OHOHOHOHOHOHOH OHHHHHHHHH *
Is the answer "The cast of Loose Women" Mr Boyce?
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 28 Feb 2013, 17:32, Reply)

An endless coveyor belt
of menopausal slags squeezingout the last drops of oestrogen in a flurry of toyboys and Bella magazines
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 28 Feb 2013, 17:43, Reply)

so my canadian friend just posted a picture of an hotel in canada
the town is called DILDO. DILDO, newfoundland.

how is this possible?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 28 Feb 2013, 17:34, Reply)

So good they named it twice?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 28 Feb 2013, 17:35, Reply)

no, the repetition was my disbelief
disbelief
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 28 Feb 2013, 17:36, Reply)

D I L D O, D I L D-O
the alt lyrics to "D I S C O"
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 28 Feb 2013, 17:38, Reply)

tee hee

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 28 Feb 2013, 17:47, Reply)

My favorite dog in the world comes fro mthere.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 28 Feb 2013, 17:36, Reply)

Where, Dildo?
Are you a mod, Gonz?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 28 Feb 2013, 17:47, Reply)

Nope, wish I was, I'd so spice things up.
this dog
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 28 Feb 2013, 17:48, Reply)

Did you mean that particular dog is your favourite
or just the breed? Cos, k'know, Kujo.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 28 Feb 2013, 17:51, Reply)

That particular dog.
I love that breed but i'd eaither need to be homeless, or live in a mansion, to have one.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 28 Feb 2013, 17:52, Reply)

my friend is obsessed with them
big horrible shaggy sneezy things
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 28 Feb 2013, 17:53, Reply)

But they give the best hugs.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 28 Feb 2013, 18:04, Reply)

I swear man I'm not an autistic child.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 28 Feb 2013, 18:04, Reply)

And they're waterproof.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 28 Feb 2013, 18:04, Reply)

The dildo dog.
It's a cross between a dobermann and dill pickle.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 28 Feb 2013, 17:50, Reply)

a dillhole
where have you been??
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 28 Feb 2013, 17:52, Reply)

Working, petal.
Soz. Been a bit mental* for a few weeks

*more mental than usual.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 28 Feb 2013, 18:03, Reply)

She's called DIDO, DIDO newfoundland

( Theoban What of it, Thu 28 Feb 2013, 17:37, Reply)

Because Canadians are cunts?

( Kroney, Thu 28 Feb 2013, 17:44, Reply)

some of them are
i can think of at least 2
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 28 Feb 2013, 17:53, Reply)

There's a town* up here called Twathats
anything is possible.

*actually two houses just outside Lockerbie, but still.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 28 Feb 2013, 17:49, Reply)

isn't he the latest /talker to migrate over here?

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 28 Feb 2013, 17:53, Reply)

I reckon Maggie Thatcher would be good for a few jars
Alt: Ken Hom
( Theoban What of it, Thu 28 Feb 2013, 17:38, Reply)

I fucking detest Ken Hom, he's the next Jimmy Savile you mark my words.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 28 Feb 2013, 17:46, Reply)

Imagine him, trying to get everyone to drink his disgusting rice wine.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 28 Feb 2013, 17:46, Reply)

His penis goes sideways

( Theoban What of it, Thu 28 Feb 2013, 17:48, Reply)

Hahaha
Sideways up the arses of Cambodian beach boys
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 28 Feb 2013, 17:48, Reply)

The fucking sex tourist cunt

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 28 Feb 2013, 17:49, Reply)

Him and Glitter used to have competitions about how many boys they could bugger

( Theoban What of it, Thu 28 Feb 2013, 17:50, Reply)

"Ken Hom's Cock Wok"

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 28 Feb 2013, 17:52, Reply)

Here try a bit of Ken's three minute noodle

( Theoban What of it, Thu 28 Feb 2013, 17:53, Reply)

haha, textbook genital racism, Theo.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 28 Feb 2013, 17:52, Reply)

I'm still disappointed that it's not all true
It seemed dead exotic
( Theoban What of it, Thu 28 Feb 2013, 17:53, Reply)

If you get oriental ladies to lie on their sides
you can pretend they have sideways mimsies.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 28 Feb 2013, 18:02, Reply)