Battered is a cunt

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 14:01, 82 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

excellent.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 15 Mar 2013, 14:01, Reply)

succinct, clear, truthful
it's an excellent post
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 14:03, Reply)

SHTOP SHTEALING MY SHTICK YOU SCHITEHAWK

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 14:01, Reply)

b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1881652
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 14:07, Reply)

Shtick doesn't have to be accurate

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 14:08, Reply)

SAYING SCHTICK IS MY SCHTICK YOU SCHMUCK.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 14:23, Reply)

JUSHT SCHTICK TO THE SHCRIPT

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 14:35, Reply)

I heard he shat down a dolphin's blowhole then laughed at it choking to death on his plops

(King Zog of Albania lives in Kensington, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 14:02, Reply)

All we know is, he's called the Stig

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 14:03, Reply)

I can't believe my very lol post in the last thread didn't get any replies. :(
www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1900590
(PsychoChomp, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 14:02, Reply)

that's not bad
not clickin it though
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 14:04, Reply)

It's more instructive than amusing

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 14:05, Reply)

You know the type of diarrhea that you get when you have a stomach bug? The sort that's a sort of pale orange colour, watery, few lumps and really, really smelly?
That's exactly the sort of shit that post is.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 14:06, Reply)

I've never had that because my liver works and I'm under 30

(PsychoChomp, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 14:10, Reply)

Bit insensitive mate. Ben Hadwick's mum reads this site.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 14:12, Reply)

heh

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 14:20, Reply)

You mean "R"?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 14:20, Reply)

I've just looked at a review of the S4, can't say I'm excited about any of it's amazing new features.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 14:05, Reply)

does it have side impact airbags?

(King Zog of Albania lives in Kensington, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 14:06, Reply)

wanker

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 14:35, Reply)

lucky you got a Nokia 3310 then isn't it!

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 14:06, Reply)

I have an 8110
How fucking cool am I!
( Peej, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 14:07, Reply)

MY PHONE HAS JUST BEEN DELIVERED LOL I AM WINNING AT STUFF

(PsychoChomp, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 14:09, Reply)

I like it when there's a button to press that lets you talk to someone else, that's wai kewl, can it do that?

(King Zog of Albania lives in Kensington, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 14:11, Reply)

Yes, and it's waterproof.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 14:12, Reply)

go and put it in the bath

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 14:18, Reply)

There's a video of it being flushed down a toilet and it still ringing on youtube.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 14:18, Reply)

try that

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 14:20, Reply)

That's a very psychotic ex-friendly feature

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 14:20, Reply)

Although I'm currently 'rocking' a Nokia 1650
www.letsgomobile.org/images/news/nokia/nokia-1650-phone.jpg
you jelly bro
(PsychoChomp, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 14:12, Reply)

I use a Motorola 3788e

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 14:14, Reply)

It's the stuff Dreams are made of eh?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 14:13, Reply)

*bullying snigger*

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 14:14, Reply)

THATS COMING ON THE 25TH SHUT UP

(PsychoChomp, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 14:15, Reply)

Ditto, I'm not wow'd by this one.
Here, check this out, might be worth flogging your phone and going for one of these: www.gizmodo.co.uk/2013/03/a-bevy-of-cheap-but-good-windows-phones-is-your-two-fingered-salute-to-samsung-deal-of-the-day/
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 14:25, Reply)

Hey, chillax guys!
Maybe if we all had a group hug and sung the 'pee po belly bum drawers' song, we could forget about our differences for one, crazy moment and just celebrate life, for all its ups and downs?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 14:11, Reply)

Fucking hippies
Fetch me my HIPPYDEATHGUN
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 14:12, Reply)

Gonz, give Monty his login back

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 14:12, Reply)

Ooooooooooooooooooh
Confusing Monty with a Jew. Nice knowing you
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 14:14, Reply)

Ma's out, pa's out, let's talk jews

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 14:17, Reply)

hahaha

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 14:18, Reply)

Ma's out, pa's out, let's talk rude

(King Zog of Albania lives in Kensington, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 14:13, Reply)

YESSSSSSS

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 14:14, Reply)

this may also be up your street
www.youtube.com/watch?v=lCZCv98XKFs
(King Zog of Albania lives in Kensington, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 14:15, Reply)

I can't play that at work, sadly

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 14:17, Reply)

CUNT DINGO
it's Noel Coward's Bad times just around the corner
(King Zog of Albania lives in Kensington, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 14:18, Reply)

I do like Noel C the bent cunt

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 14:18, Reply)

Flanders are Swann were ace though
Swann was a conscientious objector, Flanders got an OBE or something and he got fuck all
(King Zog of Albania lives in Kensington, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 14:21, Reply)

My parents loved them.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 14:25, Reply)

Go fuck yourself.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 14:13, Reply)

i still don't believe a po is a toilet.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 15 Mar 2013, 14:15, Reply)

Would you believe it if it was in an online dictionary?
oxforddictionaries.com/definition/english/po?q=po
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 14:17, Reply)

To point your Tinky Winky at?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 14:18, Reply)

LAA-LAA I'M NOT LISTENING TO YOU!!!

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 14:18, Reply)

Dipsy cunt

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 14:19, Reply)

Eh O

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 14:19, Reply)

no.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 15 Mar 2013, 14:18, Reply)

Well really.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 14:20, Reply)

No gratitude some people, after all the effort tangles went to as well. Tsk.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 14:21, Reply)

I despair sometimes I really do.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 14:22, Reply)

I'm overdrawn at the despair bank.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 14:23, Reply)

despair wank
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 14:25, Reply)

I hope you die.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 15 Mar 2013, 14:23, Reply)

That's a little strong.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 14:27, Reply)

also a complete waste of a wish
because it's inevitable. why not add "soon and screaming" and make it worthwhile?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 14:29, Reply)

you rotten spiteful old witch

(King Zog of Albania lives in Kensington, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 14:33, Reply)

I cannot confirm nor deny the authenticity of this
I have however had Peroni so all is well with the world
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 14:14, Reply)

obvious statement is obvious
next?

tangles exposed as hippie in shocking denouement? monty in penury surprise? kroney in unexpected paedo molesting ring? gonz likes cooking: shock announcement?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 14:23, Reply)

Bitch

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 14:23, Reply)

he's is also short and has anger management issues

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 14:23, Reply)

This isn't even in Emvees top ten beers:

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 14:23, Reply)

Hello LiC welcome to YESTERDAY

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 14:23, Reply)

Yesterday was much better than this.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 14:25, Reply)

are you upset because I called you a cunt/?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 14:29, Reply)

Nope

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 14:32, Reply)

I have had a week from hell
Normally a support week is all "can you unlock my user" and "can you fix this data in the same way as [previous bug]" - this week it's all been "a previously unobserved bug caused these trades to become corrupt, I then tried this, this and this which only made things worse and now I'm handing this irrevocably fucked pile of radioactive horseshit over to IT in the hope they can get me to the weekend with intact kneecaps". Good times.

I see beer in my future.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 14:46, Reply)

Transforms you to drunken cunt in only 6 pints

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 14:23, Reply)

Apparently it's their 11th most popular beer

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 14:27, Reply)

I GET THIS JOKE

(PsychoChomp, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 14:32, Reply)

For the love of cock, won't someone start a new thread please?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 14:30, Reply)

ok

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 14:31, Reply)

dun it

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 14:31, Reply)