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(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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what's the worst job you ever had?

(, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 15:02, 164 replies, latest was 12 years ago)
I LEARNT TO DO PICTURES!
factory job, was helping out at my dad's company
(, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 15:04, Reply)
I learnt picturs

naked-mole-rat.org/images/20071026pets_naked_mole_rats_006_500.jpg
(, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 15:05, Reply)
nsfw you prick

(, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 15:07, Reply)
it's a mole

(, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 15:07, Reply)
no clothes you knobber

(, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 15:08, Reply)
moles don't wear clothes

(, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 15:08, Reply)
explain that to my boss

(, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 15:09, Reply)
B3TH SAID NO NAKED FLESH EVEN IF THEY ARE IN BIKINIS
MY BOSS SAW THIS AND FIRED ME YOU BENT SPASTIC!
(, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 15:09, Reply)
That dream life of a bedsit with windy pig is one step closer, you shuld thank me

(, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 15:09, Reply)
itd be just like men behaving badly, only somehow less funny

(, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 15:10, Reply)
they could drink beer and make shallow misogynistic jokes!

(, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 15:11, Reply)
And sing songs about wanking

(, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 15:12, Reply)
cruelly replaying teh same dull dull day ad nauseam

(, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 15:13, Reply)
Is that possible?

(, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 15:12, Reply)
Wasn't Men Behaving Badly and even less funny Bottom

(, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 15:12, Reply)
Bottom was shockingly bad

(, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 15:13, Reply)
And i never liked the young ones
although i always imagine battered to look like Mike
(, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 15:14, Reply)
I don't want to leave Kernow

(, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 15:10, Reply)
TO MUCH NAKED FLESH!
MODS!!!!
(, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 15:07, Reply)
FFS I WORK FOR A MOLE

(, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 15:08, Reply)
MODS!

(, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 15:09, Reply)
If you learnt
a. Why did we have to teach you and b. why do you still have the link there as well?
(, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 15:07, Reply)
b. I dunno

(, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 15:08, Reply)
a. cos i didn't know how

(, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 15:08, Reply)
Telesales for Zenith windows.
The boss sold coke out of the office safe. There was a office hamster that someone killed by feeding it weed and I hated it.
(, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 15:05, Reply)
Ha! Stick that in your pipe "Weed causes zero deaths annually" facebook twats!

(, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 15:10, Reply)
"Hamsters aren't real people" they say, the fucking ignorant pricks.

(, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 15:13, Reply)
I'm devastated at this news.

(, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 15:17, Reply)
Alton Towers
I lasted the morning and couldn't be fucked to do teh afternoon
(, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 15:06, Reply)
emptying churchill's spit bucketzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

(, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 15:06, Reply)
you worthless shit

(, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 15:06, Reply)
You have the manners of a pig, did you know that?

(, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 15:07, Reply)
Please don't get him upset.

(, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 15:08, Reply)
cram it up your granny

(, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 15:09, Reply)
Rude

(, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 15:31, Reply)
Phoning up companies asking why they don't pay their VAT
I only could do it for a week before I went a bit nuts and couldn't do it no more.
(, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 15:06, Reply)
prolly cos they don't want to

(, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 15:07, Reply)
Yeah figured that was it, and who am I to ask them for cash? I'm just some prick

(, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 15:08, Reply)
Cleaning a navy ship docked at Falmouth
I left at lunchtime on the first day and said I wasn't coming back. They said I wouldn't get paid, I was fine with it. It was fucking shit.
(, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 15:06, Reply)
had or gave?

(, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 15:06, Reply)
so what was teh worst "job" you ever recieved?

(, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 15:09, Reply)
a shocking gob job
your gran really needs to take her teeth out first
(, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 15:11, Reply)
terrible bullying of Psychochomp here

(, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 15:12, Reply)
A blowjob
by Janet Street Porter :(
(, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 15:07, Reply)
Modelling for Emporio.
The shame, the shame
(, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 15:09, Reply)
my girlfriend is a supermodel, probably

(, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 15:10, Reply)
poor momo

(, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 15:10, Reply)
you ignored my post about momo
you toxic little smear
(, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 15:11, Reply)
where?

(, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 15:11, Reply)
don't bother, I'll give you an update anyway
he's done a big plop, had a bath in his drinking water and preened himself about half a dozen times, now he's eating a bit of toast I just gave him to stop him screaming at cats for a couple of minutes
(, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 15:13, Reply)
the video of him in the bath was the best one

(, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 15:13, Reply)
pervert

(, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 15:14, Reply)
as the bible teaches us
let he who is without sin molest a choirboy
(, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 15:17, Reply)
I really don't know why she wants to know this shit.

(, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 15:14, Reply)
because one day
imma sneak into frank's house and steal him
(, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 15:15, Reply)
the bird
not the frank
(, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 15:15, Reply)
now he's preening himself again
except he's stood on his wing so it doesn't move while he preens the feathers, then he gets confused and tries to move his wing but his foot's on it and he be like woah wing not move then he figures it out
(, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 15:16, Reply)
how has he stood on his wing?
is he a tiny bit special?
(, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 15:17, Reply)
he grabs the end of his wing with one foot
or sometimes both feet

it's one of the extremely stupid things he does, I need to get some video of him doing that
(, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 15:20, Reply)
brb, videoing Momo

(, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 15:21, Reply)
i would like to see that
i would LOL
(, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 15:30, Reply)
actually I did video it a few days ago and forgot I uploaded it and yeah, youtube said I was uploading a duplicate video and oh god my life is just too complicated

(, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 15:33, Reply)
is there a bird link at the end of all that
or are you just going to kill yourself instead?
(, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 15:34, Reply)
are you actually stupid or will your head dobber not let you scroll down?

(, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 15:35, Reply)
bit of column a
bit of column b
(, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 15:36, Reply)

you're SO vanilla

(King Zog of Albania can imagine if cat buying boat, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 14:38, Ignore, Reply, I like this!)
every time
you say this with surprise

how's momobird? have you got him a new egg to fuck rather furtively for easter?
( rachelswipe is not motherfucking cocksucking ginger, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 14:45, Delete, Edit, Reply, I like this!)
(, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 15:13, Reply)
TOO SLOW

(, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 15:13, Reply)
says the man who took 20 mins to reply to the original

(, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 15:15, Reply)
that thread was too fucking dull, I drifted off to spunk money on the internet

(, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 15:16, Reply)
i am so fucking bored

(, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 15:17, Reply)

money on the internet
(, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 15:18, Reply)
Spunk Money sounds like a 1950s jazz saxophonist

(, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 15:18, Reply)
money spunk sounds better
although it's a fairly limited field
(, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 15:19, Reply)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=I-o7HSdVut8
(, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 15:30, Reply)
hahaha
he's lucky he's got looks
(, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 15:34, Reply)
people ask me why I don't have a telly
I honestly don't need one, there's a little Momo sitcom going on all day in the lounge
(, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 15:36, Reply)
maybe you should get him a mrs momo

(, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 15:39, Reply)
nah, he's quite happy as long as I'm here to talk to him and feed him cornflakes
if I get another it'll probably be a green cheeked conure, there's a place over in Prestwich that sells hand reared ones
(, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 15:41, Reply)
holy shit check it out
www.ekmpowershop27.com/ekmps/shops/buriramphur/hand-reared-birds-232-c.asp
(, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 15:43, Reply)
the blue pineapple and blue cheeked cinnamon ones are CUUUUUTE

(, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 15:44, Reply)
that's a mutation colour
underneath the paint it's a green-cheeked conure or a pineapple conure

custom colours cost extra, same with stratocasters
(, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 15:47, Reply)
quaker parrots too, those are great pets
they don't seem to do Hahn's macaws though, I'd totally get one of those
(, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 15:49, Reply)
the problem with macaws is that they'll outlive you by about 40 years
but they are stunning.
(, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 15:51, Reply)
I just don't have enough space for something like a macaw
plus they can be house wreckers, one of those would chew through a sofa if it got bored one afternoon

plus I'd want a hyacinth macaw, they do not come cheap
(, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 15:55, Reply)
aren't they the most endangered species or summat?

(, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 16:14, Reply)
yup
but captive bred ones aren't covered by CITES
(, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 16:27, Reply)
there's a new thread by the way

(, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 16:27, Reply)
i'm buying the nephew a budgie for his 8th birthday (his mum is thrilled)
primarily because i want to go to a breeder that hand rears baby parrots. too cute.

would they scream at each other if you got one?
(, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 15:43, Reply)
that's another reason not to get a pair
2 parrots make more than twice the noise of one parrot

parrot 1 screams, parrot 2 joins in and vice versa
(, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 15:45, Reply)
your neighbours would love you

(, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 15:51, Reply)
My girlfriend drive a Honda Accord
but shes too ugly to be a model. Oh wait she's Lily Cole so somehow she gets away with it.
(, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 15:11, Reply)
has she ever used a ninja sword to decapitate a Honda Accord driver?

(, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 15:11, Reply)
I've ignored naked ape and gazzed b3th.

(, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 15:11, Reply)

kineticnorth.com/StuffAndTing/b3ta/YHBI/Default.aspx
(, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 15:13, Reply)
Please don't get upset frank.

(, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 15:14, Reply)
k, you can go on ignore now Abdul

(, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 15:14, Reply)
Cos of a mole or because he's a bent spastic?

(, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 15:13, Reply)
When b3th says 'I've had a couple of gazzes about this' are they always from you?

(, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 15:15, Reply)
Exclusivley, I'm her puppetmaster.

(, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 15:15, Reply)
no you haven't

(, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 15:56, Reply)
Monty's bank manager
OR
Battered's shoemaker
OR
Chompy's lawyer
OR
Nakers' carer
OR
PJ's glovemaker
OR
My girlfriend

I think that covers most of the bases.
(, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 15:15, Reply)
Why would my lawyer be a problem?

(, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 15:18, Reply)
Because you're a rapist
Obviously

Look I can't remember all the current memes OK
(, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 15:19, Reply)
Current meme is that I'm a mug for dealing with a shit company and not getting a TV and not getting a good phone.

(, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 15:20, Reply)
and you're a girl

(, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 15:59, Reply)
the constant rape charges

(, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 15:20, Reply)
'my personal shopper'

(, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 15:19, Reply)
I waited tables at Silverstone once.
Up before the sun to spend the day surrounded by all that noise.
Luckily it was only for a couple of days.
(, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 15:18, Reply)
Silverstone on F1 day is a wonderful combination of really fucking expensive and really fucking shit

(, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 15:19, Reply)
I was working in a hospitality tent, so these rich cunts weren't paying for a thing.

(, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 15:24, Reply)
As an apprentice
I had to work at an industrial incinerators who would burn the remnants of the ladies sanitary bins.
When the incinerators broke down guess which lucky punter would have to clean them out prior to them being repaired.
(, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 15:19, Reply)
I always feel a bit sorry for the jam-rag man when he comes here to empty the bins in the ladies.

(, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 15:24, Reply)
he probably likes it the massive perv

(, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 15:24, Reply)
I did wonder about the last guy who used to do it.
He was like a creepier version of Benny from Crossroads.
(, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 15:26, Reply)
i don't know who this is soz
was he tied to a tree?
(, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 15:28, Reply)


(, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 15:32, Reply)
That's it Chompy will have the 2.0 set for you

(, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 15:33, Reply)
soon he'll only be able to see his own posts

(, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 15:35, Reply)
So have you said something to upset CQ lately?

(, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 15:36, Reply)
c'est possible

(, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 15:40, Reply)
Dunno why you get a bloke in, Bob Todd would do it for free

(, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 15:25, Reply)
they aint a nice thing
that I will give you
(, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 15:26, Reply)
Dunno, who had to do it?

(, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 15:24, Reply)
I was a male stripper in a go-go bar.

(, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 15:20, Reply)
don;'t you want me baby?

(, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 15:22, Reply)
Nah, soz

(, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 15:23, Reply)
Ooooh oh oh oh

(, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 15:25, Reply)
I picked you out, I shook you up and turned you around. Turned you into something new.

(, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 15:24, Reply)
you'll both be sorry.

(, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 15:26, Reply)
Strip for me, baby. Strip for you.
Thanks, Monty. Thanks a lot.
(, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 15:44, Reply)
YM

(, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 15:20, Reply)
National Probation Service...
...in Coventry.

Shuddersome.
(, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 15:24, Reply)
Nearly all of my jobs have been in Coventry :(

(, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 15:27, Reply)
why did yu never move away

(, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 15:32, Reply)
It's not all bad.
People make a place and most of the people I love live here.
There are plenty of far worse places.
(, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 15:34, Reply)
Difficult to find jobs in Baghdad and Kabul though.

(, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 15:38, Reply)
I dunno, they always need someone to locate hidden bombs and that.
Alright Himjim.
I don't think you know me, but I think you bought me a pint once, so cheers for that.
(, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 15:41, Reply)
I think I'd prefer the bombs to NPS Coventry. Genuinely.
I think you bought me one back, so thanks too.
(, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 15:45, Reply)
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

(, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 15:42, Reply)
Hey bbygrl
What's going on?
(, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 15:44, Reply)
Ohhhh FUCK I'm bored.

(, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 15:29, Reply)
poke a chopstick down your weehole

(, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 15:31, Reply)

bored French
(, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 15:32, Reply)
i've got to go to hotel chocolat to buy an egg
the Q was out the door and round the block earlier. stupid twats leaving it to the last minute.
(, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 15:36, Reply)
I miss quintin

(, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 15:37, Reply)
Tesco have some pretty cheap

(, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 15:37, Reply)
my friend is a wagamama
everyone else is getting thorntons and loving it
(, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 15:41, Reply)
she's a sort of average chinky?

(, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 15:42, Reply)
It's a nip restaurant you terrible racist

(, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 15:45, Reply)
I dunno I only went once and it were a bit shit

(, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 15:46, Reply)
?
but you went at the last minute.
(, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 15:40, Reply)
*illiterate joke sign goes here*

(, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 15:42, Reply)
I order all my shit from Hotel Chocolat online, baby.
You need to think this stuff through.

Although the cunts are charging £11 to deliver it on Saturday.
(, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 15:44, Reply)


(, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 15:42, Reply)
shit I'm gonna be 2.0'd now
fuck theo, think before you do these things
(, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 15:42, Reply)
Yes, I know.

(, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 15:43, Reply)


(, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 15:43, Reply)
We've had the spit bucket
so "retrieving lobsters from Jayne Mansfield's bum"
(, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 15:40, Reply)
I remember she had a huge bum.

(, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 15:43, Reply)
... and they were big lobsters.

(, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 15:45, Reply)
while she was comatose

(, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 15:52, Reply)
'comatose'
Comatose...to 'er 'ead.
(, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 15:55, Reply)
Basically, she suffered from what was known in the medical trade as 'lobsters-up-the-arsehole'

(, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 15:56, Reply)
'Lobsterissimus bumberkissimus'

(, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 15:58, Reply)

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