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Are you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.
(
rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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So Battered? Two foot of angry spastic or basically a good kid just tryin ta get by in a crazy mixed-up world?
Keyword: eppy
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 9 May 2013, 14:11,
122 replies,
latest was 12 years ago)
stop stomping
and answer my wicked questions
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 9 May 2013, 14:12,
Reply)
Ha ha
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 9 May 2013, 14:12,
Reply)
Deep down I think he's a good un
Keyword:Empathy
(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 9 May 2013, 14:14,
Reply)
I have said it before, and I will say it again,
I'm not sure about Battered.
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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 9 May 2013, 14:14,
Reply)
Any particular reason?
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 9 May 2013, 14:15,
Reply)
nope.
I've just never got the measure of you. Not in a horrid way mind.
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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 9 May 2013, 14:22,
Reply)
Ah. I see.
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 9 May 2013, 14:25,
Reply)
4' 8"
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 9 May 2013, 14:27,
Reply)
I've become addicted to wet shaving my head, Windy
It feels wonderful.
(
Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 9 May 2013, 14:18,
Reply)
i thought you had a jew fro?
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 9 May 2013, 14:20,
Reply)
Lord no
I've been shaving my bonce for about 15 years.
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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 9 May 2013, 14:21,
Reply)
Theoban has the curly locks of a yid.
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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 9 May 2013, 14:23,
Reply)
that's what I thought
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 9 May 2013, 14:24,
Reply)
I asked me mum and I think she's an anti semite cos she looked dead horrified at the prospect of the family being all jewy
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Theoban What of it, Thu 9 May 2013, 14:37,
Reply)
check for other isms
turn up for a sunday dinner blacked up
(
glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 9 May 2013, 14:40,
Reply)
and wearing a burkha
and do a sort of bucks fizz unveiling while observing her reaction
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glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 9 May 2013, 14:41,
Reply)
But we're a family of muslim B&W minstrels?
Gluey it's like you don't even know me at all :(
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Theoban What of it, Thu 9 May 2013, 14:42,
Reply)
I'd love to shave your head one day. I think it would be highly arousing.
I'm currently trying to decide on a new style of facial hair for the summer.
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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 9 May 2013, 14:21,
Reply)
Handlebar moustache
Perfect in your line of work.
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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 9 May 2013, 14:24,
Reply)
I've already got one of them stoopid .
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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 9 May 2013, 14:46,
Reply)
WELL THEN GET ANOTHER ONE
jeeeeeeeez
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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 9 May 2013, 14:48,
Reply)
handlebar eyebrows are the new handlebar moustache
(
glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 9 May 2013, 14:50,
Reply)
I'm totally imagining this the troi and ryker beard shaving in the bath scene
DON'T TELL YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT IS
(
glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 9 May 2013, 14:31,
Reply)
Here you go buy yourself something nice for the summer xx
www.goateesaver.com/
(
Theoban What of it, Thu 9 May 2013, 14:32,
Reply)
A little from column a)
A little from column b)
Keyword: vaginal discharge
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 9 May 2013, 14:15,
Reply)
A from column a)A from column b)l discharge
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hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 9 May 2013, 14:19,
Reply)
chocho? Is that you chocho?
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 9 May 2013, 14:20,
Reply)
v v NAHHH look down there v v
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hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 9 May 2013, 14:21,
Reply)
Little little keyword: vagina?
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 9 May 2013, 14:20,
Reply)
Yes
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hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 9 May 2013, 14:22,
Reply)
I think he seems charming
And I'm an
excellent judge of character.
(
Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 9 May 2013, 14:17,
Reply)
Apart from that awful racist woman you married.
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 9 May 2013, 14:18,
Reply)
1 mistake out of 1000's, Tangled
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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 9 May 2013, 14:19,
Reply)
was she the one from the youtube video of a tram in Croydon?
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 9 May 2013, 14:23,
Reply)
I think he's alright, but he does seem to use this place to just vent anger and when he's in that sort of mood he's a prick.
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PsychoChomp, Thu 9 May 2013, 14:19,
Reply)
So you think it's okay that he cheated on his wife with a sex worker and then blamed her for the breakdown of their marriage?
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Bazongaloid, Thu 9 May 2013, 14:24,
Reply)
No one is suggesting Battered slept with _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 9 May 2013, 14:26,
Reply)
Quentingazgate still worries you, eh?
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 9 May 2013, 14:27,
Reply)
i'm feeling nie today, don't want to get anyone angry
they might write something mean about me in their sig
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 9 May 2013, 14:28,
Reply)
You're feeling what today?
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Bazongaloid, Thu 9 May 2013, 14:34,
Reply)

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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 9 May 2013, 14:36,
Reply)
Run it's the old Bill
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hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 9 May 2013, 14:40,
Reply)
nice
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 9 May 2013, 14:36,
Reply)
Snow White?
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 9 May 2013, 14:30,
Reply)
You have a way of seeing into the truth of things Al.
(
PsychoChomp, Thu 9 May 2013, 14:26,
Reply)
He may seem like a square peg in a round hole, but I think he fits perfectly.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 9 May 2013, 14:20,
Reply)
+ in my arse
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 9 May 2013, 14:20,
Reply)
I dunno he looks a bit funny, and smells a bit funny
but he's like a "very fierce" puppy, small very noisy but not actually dangerous in any way.
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 9 May 2013, 14:22,
Reply)
I've now got the hang of using my straight razor
and my face didn't leak at all after last nights shave.
(
Bazongaloid, Thu 9 May 2013, 14:23,
Reply)
So not a waste of money then?
(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 9 May 2013, 14:24,
Reply)
No, I think it will pay for itself in spades as the blades cost peanuts compared with Gillette cartridges.
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Bazongaloid, Thu 9 May 2013, 14:25,
Reply)
How long before you got used to it? and is there any lasting damage?
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hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 9 May 2013, 14:26,
Reply)
Unfortunately not
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 9 May 2013, 14:31,
Reply)
so al manages to use a cutthroat razor, one of the most dangerous of all bathroom based implements, and remains unscathed.
You, however use a safty razor and take a chunk out of your forehead?
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 9 May 2013, 14:34,
Reply)
yes
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 9 May 2013, 14:35,
Reply)
hahahaha
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hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 9 May 2013, 14:38,
Reply)
It's taken me about 4 attempts to feel comfortable
and I reckon I'll get better as I still miss the odd bit.
(
Bazongaloid, Thu 9 May 2013, 14:32,
Reply)
I have thought about investing in one but have yet to pluck up the courage
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hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 9 May 2013, 14:42,
Reply)
Just do it.
But take you time while shaving, and accept that the first few times your face will hurt.
(
Bazongaloid, Thu 9 May 2013, 14:44,
Reply)
I have been asked what I wanted for Father’s day
This is now on the top of the list
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hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 9 May 2013, 14:46,
Reply)
this is wonderful news
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 9 May 2013, 14:24,
Reply)
If you want to pop round I'll give you a wet shave.
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Bazongaloid, Thu 9 May 2013, 14:25,
Reply)
will you do my crack and scak?
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 9 May 2013, 14:26,
Reply)
I wouldn't recomend it to be honest.
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Bazongaloid, Thu 9 May 2013, 14:33,
Reply)
Al, you use a cutthroat razor?
That is well steampunk.
(
Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 9 May 2013, 14:31,
Reply)
It's actually one of the ones the barbers use where you break a double sided blade in half and put it in a "shavette" as it's called
But yes, it gives my beards and moustache a very steampunk feel.
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Bazongaloid, Thu 9 May 2013, 14:32,
Reply)
How many beards do you have exactly?
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 9 May 2013, 14:33,
Reply)
Two, one for everyday and one for best.
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Bazongaloid, Thu 9 May 2013, 14:34,
Reply)
Excellent answer
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 9 May 2013, 14:34,
Reply)
They look rather dangerous
I'll stick to a scalpel blade and a bit of masking tape.
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Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 9 May 2013, 14:35,
Reply)
Well you're all made up as far as I'm concerned
But I dunno why Battered is seen as worse than the rest of you awful human beings
Except Windy he's my favourite
Favourite made up 'person' on the internet
(
Theoban What of it, Thu 9 May 2013, 14:23,
Reply)
How many songs has Windy written and recorded about SBP, eh?
NONE, that's how many.
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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 9 May 2013, 14:26,
Reply)
I dunno who you are soz
I can't keep up with all this name changing
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Theoban What of it, Thu 9 May 2013, 14:30,
Reply)
You can be so hurtful sometimes
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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 9 May 2013, 14:33,
Reply)
AW BUNNY YOU CAN'T BE ANGRY WIV ME
Luv you loads twoey
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Theoban What of it, Thu 9 May 2013, 14:34,
Reply)
This is why I keep coming back
Your sweet lovin'
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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 9 May 2013, 14:36,
Reply)
one day theo, we'll get married.
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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 9 May 2013, 14:49,
Reply)
In common with many other B3tans I've met in real life,
Battered is a fine fellow, working hard to be a cunt on the internet.
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Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 9 May 2013, 14:24,
Reply)
In that case he needs a RAISE
tee hee
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hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 9 May 2013, 14:25,
Reply)
this is why that thread was created about you
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 9 May 2013, 14:28,
Reply)
YES.
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 9 May 2013, 14:28,
Reply)
Pfftttt....
I liked it
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hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 9 May 2013, 14:29,
Reply)
I'm setting up a LinkedIn account at work.
Inappropriate? Desperate spastic?
Had it for ages and couldn't be fucked with it, then thought meeeeeeh.
(
Kroney, Thu 9 May 2013, 14:47,
Reply)
Make sure you add Battered, Dozer and Nakers.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 9 May 2013, 14:47,
Reply)
+ AA & Sporters.
Oh, and DG too.
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 9 May 2013, 14:48,
Reply)
Christ, have you considered setting up a new account?
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 9 May 2013, 14:49,
Reply)
isn't LiC on there as well?
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 9 May 2013, 14:49,
Reply)
Yep.
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 9 May 2013, 14:51,
Reply)
AA?
HAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 9 May 2013, 14:49,
Reply)
I got approaches for some consultancy jobs from LinkedIn
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 9 May 2013, 14:59,
Reply)
As long as they aren't looking for male grooming advice
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 9 May 2013, 15:01,
Reply)
My forehead is as smooth as a babies bottom, thank you
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 9 May 2013, 15:02,
Reply)
head nonce
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 9 May 2013, 15:04,
Reply)
Contact Kroney for:
- Cardigans
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Theoban What of it, Thu 9 May 2013, 14:49,
Reply)
No fucking way I'm endorsing that bogey green piece of shit
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 9 May 2013, 14:50,
Reply)
what does LinkedIn offer that I can't?
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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 9 May 2013, 14:50,
Reply)
a picture of battered
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 9 May 2013, 14:51,
Reply)
really?
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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 9 May 2013, 14:54,
Reply)
yu have one?
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 9 May 2013, 14:56,
Reply)
have one what?
(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 9 May 2013, 15:05,
Reply)
Possible employment opportunities.
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 9 May 2013, 14:51,
Reply)
Only if you're the sort of cunt who uses LinkedIn
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Bazongaloid, Thu 9 May 2013, 14:52,
Reply)
what's wrong with it?
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 9 May 2013, 14:56,
Reply)
It's just a bit pointless
and it leads to you getting pestered by recruitment consultants all the time.
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Bazongaloid, Thu 9 May 2013, 14:57,
Reply)
not really...
I know several people who have got good jobs through it, easy enough to ignore recruiters
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 9 May 2013, 14:58,
Reply)
Well I don't know anyone who has got a good job out of it.
So you're wrong.
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Bazongaloid, Thu 9 May 2013, 15:03,
Reply)
internet arguing 101 here
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 9 May 2013, 15:05,
Reply)
I've never heard of that
So you're wrong.
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Bazongaloid, Thu 9 May 2013, 15:07,
Reply)
Yeah, I mean, a company with a market valuation of $18 billion, clearly offers no benefits to its users.
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 9 May 2013, 15:09,
Reply)
yeh but b3ta is worth $87 BILLION and look how shit it is
(
Theoban What of it, Thu 9 May 2013, 15:11,
Reply)
If you put 'dogging' down as a skill you can get laid off it four times a day
CAN YOU DO THAT?
No you cannot
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Theoban What of it, Thu 9 May 2013, 14:52,
Reply)
I can.
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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 9 May 2013, 14:54,
Reply)
Walking round Oxford carrying a banner stating you 'Fuck like a Sex Weasel' isn't the same Piggo
Now I know your Oxfordites go for that, and fair play to them, but Kroney wants some quality dogging here, and you can't provide that
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Theoban What of it, Thu 9 May 2013, 14:57,
Reply)
well, I just want him to know that if his LinkedIn dogging plan fails, I'm here for him.
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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 9 May 2013, 15:05,
Reply)
You're all heart and no mistake
Well mostly heart, some bumhole too
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Theoban What of it, Thu 9 May 2013, 15:05,
Reply)
Well, the man knows his oven gloves, that's all I can say
(
Reginald Donkeyfuck, Thu 9 May 2013, 14:50,
Reply)
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