I'm lovely, please fill this thread with character references and links to times when I've been lovely so Purple Doris will be my friend
alt: Ever had a Fray Bentos pie?

altalt: best roofing material?

altaltalt: favourite motorway or motorway junction.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 17 May 2013, 12:00, 126 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

I don't like pies.
You were very helpful at explaining how supermarkets work to me.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 17 May 2013, 12:02, Reply)

\o/
wait...you don't like pies? Who doesn't like pies?
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 17 May 2013, 12:02, Reply)

Cunts that who
CUNTS
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 17 May 2013, 12:03, Reply)

is that a fucking joke son?

( Theoban What of it, Fri 17 May 2013, 12:03, Reply)

Not a big pastry fan Theo,
I don't mind pies in pub where it's just a bit of pastry on the top, but not total coverage.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 17 May 2013, 12:05, Reply)

that's a pot pie technically
Puff pastry is one of life's great simple pleasures
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 17 May 2013, 12:06, Reply)

But those pub pies aren't real pies, they're just stew with a shit lid
I thought you were trustworthy, I'm gonna have to re-evaluate everything about you
( Theoban What of it, Fri 17 May 2013, 12:06, Reply)

What about Pork Pies?

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 17 May 2013, 12:08, Reply)

Last week
at the funeral of an old mate, part of the refreshments was the most amazing pork pie ever made. It had an inner layer of spicy meats and gherkins and other nommy stuff. I am so going to get that recipe and make it myself. Who would like a piece?
(Purpledoris I've got afeckin' job, Fri 17 May 2013, 12:12, Reply)

Sounds good to me

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 17 May 2013, 12:15, Reply)

We made a gala pie out of duck eggs and sausage meat
Now THAT was fucking ace
(we totally screwed up the pastry though but that's just a detail)
( Theoban What of it, Fri 17 May 2013, 12:16, Reply)

you kidding?
pork pie pastry is the best ever
(Purpledoris I've got afeckin' job, Fri 17 May 2013, 12:23, Reply)

Yeah we really messed it up
Still alright but meat was our cofus
focus
( Theoban What of it, Fri 17 May 2013, 12:24, Reply)

BLEH

(PsychoChomp, Fri 17 May 2013, 12:13, Reply)

You were best in Aliens
alt: yeah loads it's the best, combining the joys of overly crispy thin pastry, soggy pastry and dog food. Love 'em

altalt: Thatch

altaltalt: Scotch Corner OBVIOUSLY jesus what a stupid question
( Theoban What of it, Fri 17 May 2013, 12:03, Reply)

I just did a lovely poo

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 17 May 2013, 12:03, Reply)

what could possibly have been lovely about it?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 17 May 2013, 12:04, Reply)

the shape, the sound it made as it splashed down, the whole package

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 17 May 2013, 12:06, Reply)

I hope Grace didn't escape during it

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 17 May 2013, 12:07, Reply)

i imagine she rode the mighty turd as it fell like Major Kong

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 17 May 2013, 12:08, Reply)

you do seem to be a bit obsessed with this.
You peculiar little man.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 17 May 2013, 12:11, Reply)

Youn face is

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 17 May 2013, 12:13, Reply)

Alt:alt: depends on the roof Flat/pitched etc and what you are trying to achieve
CAN YOU PLEASE BE MOAR SPECIFIC
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 17 May 2013, 12:04, Reply)

NO YOU CAN HAVE ONE ROOFING TYPE FOR ALL BUILDINGS AND FUCKING SUCK IT

( Theoban What of it, Fri 17 May 2013, 12:05, Reply)

pitched roof on a detached house between 40 and 100 years old

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 17 May 2013, 12:05, Reply)

Marley Moderns are the most cost effective
Instead of using kingspan/celotex type insulation, use Tri-iso super10
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 17 May 2013, 12:07, Reply)

I like slate

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 17 May 2013, 12:08, Reply)

b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1967113
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 17 May 2013, 12:10, Reply)

i think I might know what industry you work in...
Anyway fuck, my parents house was slate and it worked just fine
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 17 May 2013, 12:14, Reply)

Why don't you ask Al to give you a quote?

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 17 May 2013, 12:19, Reply)

are you sat on top of a building right now?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 17 May 2013, 12:21, Reply)

I'm not a roofer

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 17 May 2013, 12:22, Reply)

steeplejack?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 17 May 2013, 12:23, Reply)

I have industry knowledge of all aspects of construction if that helps?

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 17 May 2013, 12:24, Reply)

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 17 May 2013, 12:25, Reply)

"You Know"
If every you watch a Fred Dibner program count how many times he uses the phrase "You Know"
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 17 May 2013, 12:26, Reply)

Crackerjack!

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 17 May 2013, 12:27, Reply)

CRACKERJACK!

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 17 May 2013, 12:31, Reply)

I liked it when you pretended to throw up in Weird Science
alt Nope, but pies are great in general, I made a great stilton and walnut pie.

altalt, Slate (come on feel the noise)

Altaltalt, Upthe
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 17 May 2013, 12:08, Reply)

Slate is not cost effective and breaks to easily
most use Thrutone fibre cement replacements
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 17 May 2013, 12:10, Reply)

Slate looks better
I have a pile of decent nick slate tiles in the garden I wonder if I can flog them?
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 17 May 2013, 12:14, Reply)

You could get about 17p each

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 17 May 2013, 12:17, Reply)

Wowsers
retirement plan ahoy
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 17 May 2013, 12:24, Reply)

Thats for a standard 500x250mm slate tile
Talk to your local reclamation yard
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 17 May 2013, 12:26, Reply)

nutter
Fray Bentos is for losers. Make yer own pies.I do a nommy cheese and onion one.
Alt: Moss
Altalt:I need to give this some thought but jct 34 of the M6 probably
(Purpledoris I've got afeckin' job, Fri 17 May 2013, 12:10, Reply)

there is a trend of using turf for flat roofs cost effective
and very good thermal values
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 17 May 2013, 12:12, Reply)

i quite like those wild flower toppings that you get

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 17 May 2013, 12:15, Reply)

34 dont be silly woman
That takes you to Morecambe and no one wants to go there
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 17 May 2013, 12:14, Reply)

Chinkies do

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 17 May 2013, 12:15, Reply)

and also to Lancaster
which is lovely
(Purpledoris I've got afeckin' job, Fri 17 May 2013, 12:16, Reply)

Blimey
Wrong again, apart from the castle and the uni Lancaster is pretty much Wigan.
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 17 May 2013, 12:25, Reply)

FOR LOSERS?????
But look at it

LOOK AT IT
( Theoban What of it, Fri 17 May 2013, 12:15, Reply)

it's disgusting
A pie in a tin FFS?
(Purpledoris I've got afeckin' job, Fri 17 May 2013, 12:16, Reply)

It's GORGEOUS

( Theoban What of it, Fri 17 May 2013, 12:17, Reply)

yeah cos in real life it looks just like that...

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 17 May 2013, 12:17, Reply)

FUCKING GORGEOUS

( Theoban What of it, Fri 17 May 2013, 12:19, Reply)

I'm reaching out with an olive branch here!

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 17 May 2013, 12:16, Reply)

Not one link so far.
Alt: Fuck off.
Altalt: Rohypnol
Altaltalt: See Alt.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 17 May 2013, 12:11, Reply)

No
Alt: yes, fucking filth, it's a town in Paraguay or summat isn't it?
Altalt: rust RIGHT LADS?????
Altalt: I have happy memories of service stations, from Ye Goldynne Age of Rayve
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 17 May 2013, 12:13, Reply)

something about them exporting Corned Beef to the world
Bit like a pie version of Fordlandia
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 17 May 2013, 12:26, Reply)

Oh man I love a pie. Pub pot pies, Fray Bentos, even Sainsbury's frozen chicken pies.
If it's got a pastry lid and meat or fruit in it, I'll love it.

Slate. Clay tiles at a pinch, but I'd rather have slate. Thatch can fuck off. Although I'd totes have a turf roof with all skylights in for that ecologically sustainable Hobbit-hole chic.

OH MAN miy favourite motorway junction is the one just outside Birmingham where there's like eight lanes and everybody drives like Mad Max.
( Kroney, Fri 17 May 2013, 12:14, Reply)

clay tiles (rosemarys) are some of the most expensive for roofing construction
not only do you need 60pm2 they weigh loads
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 17 May 2013, 12:16, Reply)

LOOK NOBODY WANTS YOUR RUBBISH MARLEY PLASTIC TILES ALRIGHT?

( Kroney, Fri 17 May 2013, 12:28, Reply)

I quite like the Ashmores
so there
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 17 May 2013, 12:33, Reply)

Funny story
A site adjacent to one we were dealing with built a nursing home and it had a turf roof. But the architect forgot to take into account the weight of the saturated soil and the roof beams have buckled so they may have to demolish and start the project again.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 17 May 2013, 12:19, Reply)

they should probably cut the grass first, see if that helps

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 17 May 2013, 12:20, Reply)

Architects and building inspectors are fucking clueless

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 17 May 2013, 12:21, Reply)

still waiting for the funny story here

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 17 May 2013, 13:06, Reply)

Important shaving news update
I have now purchased myself an "Edwin Jagger" double edged safety razor, a pure badger bristle shaving brush and a pot of almond shaving cream.

I will keep you informed as to how much I like these things once they arrive next week.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 17 May 2013, 12:18, Reply)

given up on the semi cutthroat eh?
I had a some shaving soap once, it was rubbish. Get some shave gel instead
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 17 May 2013, 12:19, Reply)

I still enjoy the cutthroat, but it takes too long.
I'm hoping the double edge will be the compromise between cost and speed. I used to use a Wilkinson Sword one, but now, with the wonders of the internet, I can actually buy really good quality razors off of Amazon rather than having to settle for whatever shit boots stock.

And you are totally wrong about shaving gel, but that's unsurprising given what a bent spastic father of a brick slammed headed daughter you are.

A decent brush and cream or soap is infinitely superior.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 17 May 2013, 12:22, Reply)

not if you've got several days growth

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 17 May 2013, 12:23, Reply)

Yes, especially if you have several days growth.
You really are a fucking retard you know.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 17 May 2013, 12:23, Reply)

Grow a beard you pussy.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 17 May 2013, 12:23, Reply)

I have a beard.
Just not on my neck like you.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 17 May 2013, 12:24, Reply)

Chicks dig it

(PsychoChomp, Fri 17 May 2013, 12:24, Reply)

Your chick also digs fivers in her underwear.

(Bazongaloid, Fri 17 May 2013, 12:25, Reply)

Al, Nakers is to shy to ask
Can you give him a quote, for getting his roof done?
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 17 May 2013, 12:20, Reply)

I'm not a roofer. I'm a surveyor.
I mean, I'm not a surveyor. No, not that one, I'm something else.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 17 May 2013, 12:22, Reply)

Like he will remember anyway

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 17 May 2013, 12:23, Reply)

that is the stuff
of proper gentlemen.
(Purpledoris I've got afeckin' job, Fri 17 May 2013, 12:21, Reply)

i'm not sure "gentle man is a word often associated with al

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 17 May 2013, 12:22, Reply)

Well, become sure.

(Bazongaloid, Fri 17 May 2013, 12:23, Reply)

this I understand
however there is nothing quite so revolting as a chin that has been shaved with an electric shaver IMHO
(Purpledoris I've got afeckin' job, Fri 17 May 2013, 12:24, Reply)

I have only used one once.
It was rubbish.

And I don't shave my chin at all now.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 17 May 2013, 12:26, Reply)

Oh so it's for your balls

( Theoban What of it, Fri 17 May 2013, 12:28, Reply)

Yes.

(Bazongaloid, Fri 17 May 2013, 12:28, Reply)

pics after pls

( Theoban What of it, Fri 17 May 2013, 12:28, Reply)

possibly Gentle Ben though eh....

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 17 May 2013, 12:31, Reply)

Marc Almond shaving cream I wouldn't wonder.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 17 May 2013, 12:26, Reply)

If you eat 5 pints you have to go to hospital.

(Bazongaloid, Fri 17 May 2013, 12:29, Reply)

hahaha

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 17 May 2013, 12:38, Reply)

There was this *insert huge number* times you were a bent spastic
hth

alt. No

AltAlt. Don't know

AltAltAlt. The Mfuck0FF
( Peej, Fri 17 May 2013, 12:24, Reply)

I'm not saying this thread is shit
I'm just saying, oh wait no, that is what I'm saying.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 17 May 2013, 12:35, Reply)

You start one then

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 17 May 2013, 12:37, Reply)

I'd say it has been the surprise hit of the summer

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 17 May 2013, 12:37, Reply)

Funny you should mention that
I'm listening to "Summer Madness" by Kool and the gang as I'm typing
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 17 May 2013, 12:40, Reply)

I'm listening to Millionaire by QOTSA
which is far superier
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 17 May 2013, 12:42, Reply)

Yes, people do not have various tastes in music
it's a well know fact
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 17 May 2013, 12:48, Reply)

I'm listening to Francoise Hardy
She makes my winky feel funny.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 17 May 2013, 12:51, Reply)

C'est le temps de l'amour,

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 17 May 2013, 12:52, Reply)

*googles*
Bonjour
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 17 May 2013, 12:53, Reply)

Oohlala

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 17 May 2013, 12:55, Reply)

Funny you should mention that
I'm listening to "Poo and wee, haha, rude words" by Kunt and the gang as I'm typing
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 17 May 2013, 12:55, Reply)

lolswears

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 17 May 2013, 12:55, Reply)

What a co-incidence "Poo poo la la" by Roy Ayers is now playing

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 17 May 2013, 12:58, Reply)

Followed by Chuck Berry's 'In the Wee Wee Hours'

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 17 May 2013, 13:12, Reply)

hours tapir
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 17 May 2013, 13:13, Reply)

Haha

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 17 May 2013, 13:15, Reply)

Only one nice post in my defence : ((((((

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 17 May 2013, 12:45, Reply)

That's because you're a cunt.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 17 May 2013, 12:47, Reply)

after everything I've done for you...

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 17 May 2013, 12:48, Reply)

I don't care if you are a bent spastic
You're our bent spastic and we love you
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 17 May 2013, 12:47, Reply)

that's sort of more like it

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 17 May 2013, 12:48, Reply)

YW & YM

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 17 May 2013, 12:49, Reply)

Which one?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 17 May 2013, 12:49, Reply)

5.9.83.79/questions/offtopic/post1967090
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 17 May 2013, 12:50, Reply)

I'm not sure you can count that.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 17 May 2013, 12:51, Reply)

sometimes you ghotta take what you can get

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 17 May 2013, 12:53, Reply)

Correct NOW BEND OVER

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 17 May 2013, 12:54, Reply)

Especially with my sig.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 17 May 2013, 13:07, Reply)

yeah well you've not even spelt my name correctly, so there

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 17 May 2013, 13:10, Reply)

I liked your perv-tache in True Lies
and when you wet yourself, twice

alt: Yes

altalt: the sticks from sherbert dib-dabs

altaltalt: Toddington services
( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Fri 17 May 2013, 12:54, Reply)

tjhanks!

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 17 May 2013, 13:00, Reply)

I always love it when they go for flat roofs on grand designs
and it totally leaks every time
( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Fri 17 May 2013, 13:06, Reply)

I'm suprised any of the grand designs gets made
Architects generally have no grasp of reality, and the people want to project manage it themselves.

It's a bit like going to a 5 star resturant and cooking your own meal
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 17 May 2013, 13:10, Reply)