The trouble is, all children are badly behaved and annoying.
All of them. It only seesm to be the parents that think they're anything other than a screaming, shitting nuisance.
( Kroney, Mon 5 Aug 2013, 11:57, 5 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Do you work in my local pub?

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 5 Aug 2013, 11:59, Reply)

He's French. He doesn't 'work' anywhere.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 5 Aug 2013, 12:00, Reply)

I tried to work once.
Didn't like it. Striked.
( Kroney, Mon 5 Aug 2013, 12:06, Reply)

+ burned sheep.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 5 Aug 2013, 12:07, Reply)

Even before I got fat and old, I have always been built fairly big and solid. I'm sure to some kids when I'm angry I could well be intimidating.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 5 Aug 2013, 12:00, Reply)

If it weren't for my respect for that guys uniform, I'd have your throat in my hands
Just sayin
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 5 Aug 2013, 12:01, Reply)

strikethrough throat
hilarity ensues
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 5 Aug 2013, 12:03, Reply)

Good job there'd probably be a young cop to step in to separate you.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 5 Aug 2013, 12:03, Reply)

I think it's the very zenith of manliness to threaten violence in situations where there is no possibility of violence

(PsychoChomp, Mon 5 Aug 2013, 12:05, Reply)

That's what I like to call "chickenshit motherfucker".

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 5 Aug 2013, 12:06, Reply)

I bet you threaten to strangle potential rapists in police custody

(PsychoChomp, Mon 5 Aug 2013, 12:02, Reply)

In fiction, yes.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 5 Aug 2013, 12:05, Reply)

Is this joke based on a story you can link to?

(Bazongaloid, Mon 5 Aug 2013, 12:11, Reply)

b3ta.com/questions/mtfu/post2037552
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 5 Aug 2013, 12:17, Reply)

fucks sake.
what a fucking twat.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 5 Aug 2013, 12:27, Reply)

Did you think my daughter was well behaved when you saw her the other week?

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 5 Aug 2013, 12:01, Reply)

A joy.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 5 Aug 2013, 12:04, Reply)

(!)

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 5 Aug 2013, 12:06, Reply)

Yes, she was. What do you want me to say?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 5 Aug 2013, 12:07, Reply)

Aw. Cheers dude.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 5 Aug 2013, 12:08, Reply)

I can only assume you had her doped on laudanum, or somesuch.
She was not representative of the whole.
( Kroney, Mon 5 Aug 2013, 12:08, Reply)

she was bribed with bubbles and food and a cat
never ever underestimate the power of bribery when it comes to kids
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 5 Aug 2013, 12:15, Reply)

I don't get people who beat their own kids, you wouldn't key your own car.
/Jimmy Carr
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 5 Aug 2013, 12:12, Reply)

All kids are bloody irritating, but you can usually tolerate your own.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 5 Aug 2013, 12:14, Reply)

I just don't understand why parents expect me to tolerate them, too.
Usually I can't and somehow that makes *me* the bad guy.
( Kroney, Mon 5 Aug 2013, 12:19, Reply)

It's a bit like your own farts, in that respect.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 5 Aug 2013, 12:19, Reply)

I don't go hanging around in creches, or ball pits, or playgrounds
or anywhere else that I expect to find children, so it's not like I'm forcing my dislike on other people. Yet they keep bringing children to adult locations. It hardly seems fair.
( Kroney, Mon 5 Aug 2013, 12:20, Reply)

I am with you there mon amis
Don't like children, get very fucking annoyed with other peoples children. Got called a wanker when someone brought a baby into work and even knowing my dislike tried to make me hold it. When I said I will let it fall to the ground if it was thrust upon me I was the bad one... Not the parent using their child for LULZ
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Mon 5 Aug 2013, 12:22, Reply)

I think this is another one of those situations that comes down to people being thick cunts again.
I have always reminded my kids that if I find their behaviour irritating, and I love them, then other people really don't want to hear them.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 5 Aug 2013, 12:31, Reply)