I'm not v well today so am spending it working from home on the sofa. Be more funny pls, Internet
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 9:26, 3 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

IS this a beetroot/eggs siuation?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 9:27, Reply)

Just a combination of being shattered and feeling a bit sick
I never ever have days off sick, but I'll be on the bb all day and I don't feel guilty not at all raaaah
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 9:41, Reply)

+lo

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 10:06, Reply)

Excellent work here.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 10:07, Reply)

Oh man :((

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 10:07, Reply)

I said to the gym instructor: "Can you teach me to do the splits?" He said: "How flexible are you?" I said: "I can't make Tuesdays."

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 13 Aug 2013, 9:27, Reply)

^ here all week ^

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 9:29, Reply)

sad times

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 9:32, Reply)

That's an old tommy cooper.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 13 Aug 2013, 9:33, Reply)

YOURN an old Tommy Cooper

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 9:33, Reply)

I like tommy cooper

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 9:41, Reply)

+it up the

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 9:44, Reply)

cloches enfers

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 9:50, Reply)

2nd click of the day for you

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 9:57, Reply)

well, thats one more thing we have in common,
we should start a Ginger people who like Tommy Cooper fan club
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 13 Aug 2013, 9:44, Reply)

It would be a v exclusive club
Did you see the ginger pride march in Scotland over the weekend??
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 9:46, Reply)

no. sounds tragic.
i really wish ginger people would stop doing things to enforce the "gingers are dickheads" stereotype.

Was it some fucking knob fringe comedians vain attempt at getting a spot on Macintyres comedy train crash?
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 13 Aug 2013, 9:49, Reply)

How did you guess??
www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-edinburgh-east-fife-23643831
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 9:56, Reply)

I was walking past the library the other day
I ripped two inches off the bottom of my trousers and threw it through the door. The librarian ran out and said "well that's a turn-up for the books."
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 9:31, Reply)

Hi Tim Vine!!

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 9:33, Reply)

How dare you

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 9:33, Reply)

With ease.
I ain't give a shit, G.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 9:39, Reply)

call that Tim Vine, this is Tim Vine,
Went to the doctors and said: "Have you got anything for wind?" He gave me a kite.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 13 Aug 2013, 9:41, Reply)

Our very own Jeff made up a joke which Tim Vine adopted, but I can't remember it.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 9:44, Reply)

is this one of those stories where it's not true?

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 13 Aug 2013, 9:45, Reply)

no it's genuine

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 9:54, Reply)

He'll be lurking in this thread right now, hoping to find more material.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 9:45, Reply)

I actually like him, until he starts singing.
WHY DO THEY START SINGING, WINDY? WHY????
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 9:45, Reply)

PEN BEHIND THE EAR, PENBEHINDTHEEAR, PEN BEHIND THE EAR

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 13 Aug 2013, 9:46, Reply)

I was in the Army once and the sergeant said to me ‘What does surrender mean?’ I said ‘I give up!’

I had a dream last night that I was cutting carrots with the Grim Reaper… dicing with death!

So I rang up British Telecom and said ‘I want to report a nuisance caller’ He said ‘Not you again’

I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah and I thought ‘He’s trying to pull a fast one’

I was taking the motorway out of London. A policeman pulled me over and said ‘Put it back’

I’ve got a friend who has got a butler whose left arm is missing; serves him right

Albinos; you can’t say fairer than that
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 9:48, Reply)

The last one made me laugh

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 9:55, Reply)