Do you like chutney?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 16 Aug 2013, 11:48, 75 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

nah

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 16 Aug 2013, 11:49, Reply)

wanker

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 16 Aug 2013, 11:49, Reply)

still nah

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 16 Aug 2013, 11:51, Reply)

Smokey Tom’s Chutney is excellent

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 16 Aug 2013, 11:50, Reply)

NO!!!
Despite popular belief!!
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 16 Aug 2013, 11:51, Reply)

I bet you would be up for a bit of
MANgo chutney
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 16 Aug 2013, 11:52, Reply)

man-goo if you will

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 16 Aug 2013, 12:04, Reply)

Oh he will

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 16 Aug 2013, 12:08, Reply)

Don't lie mate.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 16 Aug 2013, 11:52, Reply)

Yes.
But I do hate the way it's become the next "thing"
First it was pickles, then home brew and pulled pork and now chutney. People I know keeping telling me they'll bring some of their chutney for me to try. Hipster shit bags. I have friends that yarn bomb too. Stupid middle class oxford.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 16 Aug 2013, 11:53, Reply)

Yarn bomb? What?

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 16 Aug 2013, 11:53, Reply)

Wankers wrap knitting around street furniture as some sort of hipster graffiti.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 16 Aug 2013, 11:54, Reply)

Oh, for fucks fucking sake.
Some people are just too fucking stupid to live.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 16 Aug 2013, 11:55, Reply)

These people should cut their own heads off.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 16 Aug 2013, 11:56, Reply)

oh THAT
I'm all for pointless amusement, but this takes the biscuit.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 16 Aug 2013, 11:58, Reply)

It's rife around here at the moment.
There's even a yarn bombing club that have a pop up stall in a new hipster pub called "the big society"
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 16 Aug 2013, 12:12, Reply)

Don't ask, please don't ask.
It's so stupid.
( Kroney, Fri 16 Aug 2013, 11:54, Reply)

See, you keep giving all these positives to the South
But I put it to you that I don't have to put up with hipster prick shit like this. Except at the moment, obvs.

I wouldn't trade all the advantages of London for that blissful ignorance I had up until 2 minutes ago.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 16 Aug 2013, 11:57, Reply)

The one positive about the North is that any lad from above Luton
seeing ones of these pricks would already be kicking the shit out of him before his brain even registered what it was he was seeing.
( Kroney, Fri 16 Aug 2013, 11:59, Reply)

There are some more positives than that
but right now, you've got to admit that one's a doozy.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 16 Aug 2013, 11:59, Reply)

Lets be honest if someone tried that on Rose Street
They would soon be collected their teeth
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 16 Aug 2013, 11:59, Reply)

there'd have to be a special trauma ward at Little France
for removal of "aggressively inserted rectal woolens"
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 16 Aug 2013, 12:01, Reply)

This would make me so happy.
I can't even tell you.
( Kroney, Fri 16 Aug 2013, 12:02, Reply)

If you planned it right
You could have a pint in the greyfriars having encouraged someone to dress up Bobby... Then watch as their face is repeated smashed into an iron dog
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 16 Aug 2013, 12:03, Reply)

In fairness
Since GB is within pissing distance of the Three Sisters, there's a chance of that happening regardless if you time it right.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 16 Aug 2013, 12:05, Reply)

been about 20 yrs since I was last on the piss on the mile but I dont recall that one

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 16 Aug 2013, 12:07, Reply)

It's down on the Cowgate.

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Fri 16 Aug 2013, 12:11, Reply)

On Cowgate, under the bridges
End of Grassmarket. It's where the stag dos, hen dos and terminally unimaginative go. So if it doesn't end in a fight and a fuck in either order, it's gone wrong for them.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 16 Aug 2013, 12:11, Reply)

The last time I was down the Cowgate
I saw a young lass, maybe mid-20s, wearing a short skirt and with shit all the way down the back of her legs, clambering into the back of a taxi.

Classy.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Fri 16 Aug 2013, 12:13, Reply)

I bet you were hard as diamond in seconds

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 16 Aug 2013, 12:18, Reply)

Positively priapic, old stick.
Incidentally, 'Positively Priapic' would be a decent band name. Maybe a Totally Tropical tribute act?
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Fri 16 Aug 2013, 13:27, Reply)

Classy And that, kids, is how I met your mother.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 16 Aug 2013, 12:18, Reply)

"Follow that taxi! I'm gonna wed that sexy biatch!"

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Fri 16 Aug 2013, 13:28, Reply)

I just don't go down the Cowgate any more.
Although, I did have my wedding reception in the Caves, which is technically at the other end of Cowgate. It's amazing how even down there you get such huge variation between "Classy" and "no, actually, really fairly classy"
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 16 Aug 2013, 12:32, Reply)

That's Edinburgh in a nutshell, to be fair.

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Fri 16 Aug 2013, 13:28, Reply)

I envy your ignorance

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 16 Aug 2013, 11:56, Reply)

I just googled it
I really wish I didn't
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 16 Aug 2013, 11:57, Reply)

Thanks.
Sometimes it pays to be an ignorant bastard.
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 16 Aug 2013, 11:57, Reply)

I don't even....
what the fuck is "yarn bombing" ?

Unless it's a euphemism, somebody is going to deserve to die, I suspect.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 16 Aug 2013, 11:54, Reply)

Oh, would you look at that? I was right.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 16 Aug 2013, 11:56, Reply)

excellent

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 16 Aug 2013, 11:56, Reply)

I make a wicked mango chutney and curry quiche
Come to my house and I'll make it for you. It's TOTALLY SAKABODA!
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 16 Aug 2013, 11:54, Reply)

Ok.
I'll bring a bottle of nice wine I bought.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 16 Aug 2013, 11:55, Reply)

Don't go to any special effort
I'll happily drink shit wine. Also, feel free to strikethrough 'wine'.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 16 Aug 2013, 11:56, Reply)

Ok, is there a red equivalent of Lambrini?

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 16 Aug 2013, 12:11, Reply)

Lambrini and Ribena?

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 16 Aug 2013, 12:13, Reply)

Perfect.
Maybe I'll get lambrusco, I like the way the bubbles tickle my moustache.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 16 Aug 2013, 12:14, Reply)

OH GOD WINDY THEY ALL HAD TO ASK

( Kroney, Fri 16 Aug 2013, 11:55, Reply)

Does it help if I say I really, really, REALLY wish that I hadn't?
Cos another tiny light has died inside me and I'm really not sure how many there are left :(
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 16 Aug 2013, 11:58, Reply)

URBAN KNITTING!!!
Fuck right off.
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 16 Aug 2013, 11:59, Reply)

I think its a bit of fun, brightens the place up a bit

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 16 Aug 2013, 12:03, Reply)

GET OUT!

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 16 Aug 2013, 12:09, Reply)

I also enjoy seeing a bit of frivolity

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Fri 16 Aug 2013, 13:14, Reply)

I do like chutney, yes
Not tomato chutney though
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 16 Aug 2013, 11:53, Reply)

CHUTNEY FERRET

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 16 Aug 2013, 11:53, Reply)

this should be the qotw

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Fri 16 Aug 2013, 11:55, Reply)

ask Twoey to post it
the MODS like him
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 16 Aug 2013, 11:56, Reply)

done

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 16 Aug 2013, 11:57, Reply)

haha

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 16 Aug 2013, 12:01, Reply)

It's no 'How many times have you thrown up in your entire life?'
But it's up there.
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 16 Aug 2013, 12:01, Reply)

How many times HAVE you thrown up?

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 16 Aug 2013, 12:13, Reply)

Apart from the many I imagine before I was aware of myself.
I reckon, since the age of about 6, 40
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 16 Aug 2013, 12:15, Reply)

Which was your favourite one?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 16 Aug 2013, 12:15, Reply)

Probably the age of 20, had drunk a lot of booze, taken some drugs, vomited on my bed and passed out in it.
Woke up with my face stuck to the pillow by vomit.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 16 Aug 2013, 12:20, Reply)

I woke up in a pool of my own vomit on the toilet floor in a gay bar once
I'm almost 100% certain that I wasn't molested. Because that's what they do, these homosexuals. They wait until you're pissed then touch you up.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 16 Aug 2013, 12:25, Reply)

I'm still trying to work it out, I will let you know for definite WHEN your suggestion gets picked.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 16 Aug 2013, 12:16, Reply)

I dont like Chutney
I also don't like ketchup or piccalilli,
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 16 Aug 2013, 12:00, Reply)

My local takeaway does two AMAZING chutneys to accompany the snacks they serve.
A coconut one and a chilli one, which is so delicious you can overcome any pain it may cause you.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 16 Aug 2013, 12:01, Reply)

My local curry house does a red one to go with those big indian crisps.
Tastes a bit like jam.
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 16 Aug 2013, 12:03, Reply)

Maybe it's jam.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 16 Aug 2013, 12:20, Reply)

It's not jam, but that would probably suffice were it runnier.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 16 Aug 2013, 12:27, Reply)

This thread is silly.
I have done a new one.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 16 Aug 2013, 12:03, Reply)

My mother used to make a green tomato chutney that was pretty serious stuff
I was always worried it would eat its way out of the jar and dissolve the cupboard.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 16 Aug 2013, 12:04, Reply)

I fucking love chutney

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 16 Aug 2013, 12:05, Reply)

Half way down the page is Smokey Tom's Chutney
thehampshirechutneyco.co.uk/our-chutneys/

There's a shop near our head office, when one of the guys come up to Nottingham he often brings me a jar of it.
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 16 Aug 2013, 12:11, Reply)