Morning Chutney Ferrets
6/7 muthertruckers
www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-23779549

I think that most of the posters are off today, how will you combat a day at work with little or no B3ta action?

Alt: I feel cheated, I have no hangover yet worked really hard towards getting one last night :(
When was you last cheated?

Alt:alt: I will spend the day posting in my pants listening to cricket and drinking brandy.......If you had the day off how would you be spending it?
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 23 Aug 2013, 9:32, 88 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

5/7
if i had today off i would probably play videogames
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Fri 23 Aug 2013, 9:34, Reply)

I'm saving myself for GTA5

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 23 Aug 2013, 9:34, Reply)

aside from the first one, i've never really been into gta games
this one looks good though, i like the idea of rotating between 3 characters
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Fri 23 Aug 2013, 9:36, Reply)

I'm not a HIGH END GAMER but I love the GTA stuff

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 23 Aug 2013, 9:37, Reply)

the worse thing was I got caught out with the 10 sided dice question
*retarded*
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 23 Aug 2013, 9:35, Reply)

oh, i didn't even click the link, i assumed it was the quiz of the week
i got 7/7 on the maths one yesterday, 'cause like i did some calculating
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Fri 23 Aug 2013, 9:38, Reply)

:(
I really hate you
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 23 Aug 2013, 9:42, Reply)

I stumbled momentarily on the plasma tv question
as I failed to spot that one of them was inclusive of vat and the other not. But my initial answer wasn't any of the 3 options so I read it a bit closer.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 23 Aug 2013, 9:57, Reply)

i'm happy in the knowledge that i could still pass a maths test written for a 16 year old

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Fri 23 Aug 2013, 10:03, Reply)

I have today off.
Its going to be house work bottling beer then going to pizza express for dinner.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 23 Aug 2013, 9:37, Reply)

new voucher?

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 23 Aug 2013, 9:38, Reply)

Probably

(PsychoChomp, Fri 23 Aug 2013, 9:39, Reply)

I never get vouchers :(

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 23 Aug 2013, 9:41, Reply)

4/7 YESSSS and i didn't even read the questions, just clicked a random answer.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 23 Aug 2013, 9:38, Reply)

you have better than average guessing skills
you should go on Deal or No Deal
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 23 Aug 2013, 10:19, Reply)

No car yet!

( Kroney, Fri 23 Aug 2013, 9:44, Reply)

ehhhh?
You should Falcon punch them mothers
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 23 Aug 2013, 9:45, Reply)

Parts place delivered the wrong part, apparently.
I'm got some gutless diesel poverty spec "courtesy" car instead :(
( Kroney, Fri 23 Aug 2013, 9:51, Reply)

Sorry HH, Posted in the thread above, first one I saw.
Alt. Been cheated by every woman I've met. Suppose I shouldn't play three card brag with them.
Alt.alt. On here till test match starts. Sawing firewood for winter during lunch and tea.
( edjogs Collared doves are shit., Fri 23 Aug 2013, 9:44, Reply)

hre card r a +s
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 23 Aug 2013, 9:47, Reply)

I've got to make some calls today. I'm trying to get Tower Bridge closed for my birthday so I can watch some fireworks

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 23 Aug 2013, 9:44, Reply)

haha

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 23 Aug 2013, 9:45, Reply)

if it does happen I'll have to revert to my original of getting a lapdance from the queen

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 23 Aug 2013, 9:49, Reply)

POOR CHOMPY
queen Baroness
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 23 Aug 2013, 9:50, Reply)

Tell them you're a terrorist and save 8 grand

( edjogs Collared doves are shit., Fri 23 Aug 2013, 9:46, Reply)

I know of a guy that has some sway on the bridge closure front.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 23 Aug 2013, 9:51, Reply)

Hook a brother up

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 23 Aug 2013, 9:53, Reply)

Will require a brown envelope.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 23 Aug 2013, 9:57, Reply)

Alt:alt: If I had the day off I would spend it on the sofa listening to the cricket and dozing. That would be lovely, instead I am pretending to work while some boring bastard talks at me about work related stuff I'm not interested in.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 23 Aug 2013, 9:50, Reply)

Boring Keith?

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 23 Aug 2013, 9:51, Reply)

I dunno what his actual name is, didn't listen. He just looks a bit like 'Keith from The Office'. You know, fat, beard, glasses.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 23 Aug 2013, 9:53, Reply)

Just put your hands over your ear ears and say LALALALALALALALALALLALALALALALA
every time he comes near you
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 23 Aug 2013, 9:55, Reply)

I did some nodding for a bit, then some typing on here. I think he's got the message as he is fucking off.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 23 Aug 2013, 9:56, Reply)

Just look him in the eyes lick your lips and ask if he's free for casual sex at 10:30

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 23 Aug 2013, 9:58, Reply)

But *I'm* not free then.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 23 Aug 2013, 9:59, Reply)

7/7
but then I do have a maths degree and none of that is terribly complicated.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 23 Aug 2013, 9:51, Reply)

Yeah well you smell of piss so there

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 23 Aug 2013, 9:52, Reply)

yeah, maths
woo!
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Fri 23 Aug 2013, 9:55, Reply)

7/7
But then I do have calculator so none of that is terribly complicated.
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 23 Aug 2013, 10:00, Reply)

I got cheated by not reading the dice question properly

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 23 Aug 2013, 10:01, Reply)

LESS than 4 mofo

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 23 Aug 2013, 10:02, Reply)

I know that NOW
:(
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 23 Aug 2013, 10:03, Reply)

Read the question. Then RE-READ the question.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 23 Aug 2013, 10:04, Reply)

www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/society/four-whole-days-off-say-devious-leave-bookers-2013082378888
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 23 Aug 2013, 9:51, Reply)

Imma go to the carnival on Monday.
I've got my absolute absence of valuables and my special kettling hat on all ready!
( Kroney, Fri 23 Aug 2013, 9:52, Reply)

I really do hope you don't get stabbed in a gang related kurfuffle

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 23 Aug 2013, 9:56, Reply)

I have loads of work to do :o(
However a pastie and a coffee have cheered me somewhat. I was also hangover cheated last night

Alt:
At the moment, probably gardening :o(
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 23 Aug 2013, 9:57, Reply)

alt:alt: Uphilllolz
yeah well you can piss of an all
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 23 Aug 2013, 9:59, Reply)

:o(

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 23 Aug 2013, 10:04, Reply)

Nobody likes you anyway

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 23 Aug 2013, 10:06, Reply)

i do, he's my favourite paki on here

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 23 Aug 2013, 10:06, Reply)

\o/

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 23 Aug 2013, 10:06, Reply)

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMBULANCE

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 23 Aug 2013, 10:06, Reply)

lolz

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 23 Aug 2013, 10:08, Reply)

I'm logging on now even though I've got the day off : (

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 23 Aug 2013, 10:01, Reply)

^ prick ^
I'm off so I will not be posting on here...................FUCK wait
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 23 Aug 2013, 10:02, Reply)

why am I a prick? in this case

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 23 Aug 2013, 10:06, Reply)

why in this case

YES
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 23 Aug 2013, 10:07, Reply)

I read somewhere that if you stop getting hangovers it's
because your protection system is fucked by booze so you just keep all the poisons. Wouldn't want to worry you like.
( edjogs Collared doves are shit., Fri 23 Aug 2013, 10:25, Reply)

6/7 no calculator
Alt: when I got massively drunk, ate a kebab and had only 5 hours sleep yet felt fresh as a daisy*
Altalt I have the day off and I've logged in here, I will be having a barbecue later. More news as it happens.

*However, I was informed by colleagues that shared the car with me the next day that I didn't quite smell as fresh as a daisy
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Fri 23 Aug 2013, 10:17, Reply)

0/7.
That was clicking totally random.
I'm having a mega brekkie, in training for the cricket.
3 rashers of bacon, 2 large sausages, scrambled egg, part of a black pudding ring, beans, grilled tomatoes, potato scone, and 2 hash browns. And shitloads of toast. I'm going to drink tea, watch telly and scratch. Maybe attempt farting later, although that may be a bit too much effort.
(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Fri 23 Aug 2013, 10:18, Reply)

Excellent breakfasting but requires mushrooms for completeness

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 23 Aug 2013, 10:19, Reply)

I may make my sauseggs for breakfast

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 23 Aug 2013, 10:20, Reply)

Sauseggs requires explanation.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 23 Aug 2013, 10:23, Reply)

I the meantime I'm going for a piss and a cigarette. And going to get a can of Sanpellegrino Blood Orange flavour.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 23 Aug 2013, 10:25, Reply)

Omelette that has sausage and whatever the hell is in the fridge

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 23 Aug 2013, 10:33, Reply)

If you like decent sausages, these are mega,
www.cowmans.co.uk/
I have a trip every month or so.
(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Fri 23 Aug 2013, 10:36, Reply)

Don't let Monty see that
he loves the sausage, if you know what I mean.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 23 Aug 2013, 11:06, Reply)

Had none I'm afraid.
What you up to today?
(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Fri 23 Aug 2013, 10:29, Reply)

W**king

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 23 Aug 2013, 10:45, Reply)

Masturbation is nothing to be ashamed of.

(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Fri 23 Aug 2013, 10:47, Reply)

maybe you could spend the day amending your CV and applying for jobs

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 23 Aug 2013, 10:31, Reply)

Nah.
Not enough time, starting new bizzness innit.
(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Fri 23 Aug 2013, 10:34, Reply)

Aren't you a veggie?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 23 Aug 2013, 10:36, Reply)

Yeah, I was, packed it in.
I've mad a few half arsed attempts at going back, but I like the meat too much. How's you anyway? Still coming to the bash?
(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Fri 23 Aug 2013, 10:41, Reply)

Good thanks fella
Payday today, woo!

Aye, shall be there
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 23 Aug 2013, 10:53, Reply)

My colleague just called somebody at BT a cunt and told him to fuck off.
We're all pros, here.
( Kroney, Fri 23 Aug 2013, 10:38, Reply)

What did the BT guy do?

(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Fri 23 Aug 2013, 10:41, Reply)

I only heard his side of the conversation
but as I understand it, they've been stonewalling him, refusing to listen, closing calls without resolving them, being aggressively unhelpful. Usual BT stuff, really.
( Kroney, Fri 23 Aug 2013, 10:44, Reply)

They are cunts, to be fair

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 23 Aug 2013, 10:43, Reply)

My land line and net are with Orange now.
Or ee, they've been excellent.
(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Fri 23 Aug 2013, 10:49, Reply)

CHUTNEY FERRET?
Brandy eh? Don't forget the ice and a lickle umbrella.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 23 Aug 2013, 10:43, Reply)

Cigar too.

(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Fri 23 Aug 2013, 10:46, Reply)

Man, that just REEKS of class

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 23 Aug 2013, 10:47, Reply)

cl
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 23 Aug 2013, 11:07, Reply)