Bribery & corruption.
Ever had the offer of a bribe? Said no? Said yes?

Ever offered a bribe? Was it taken?

In one job I had it was so common place in some countries (Russia, Ukraine etc.) that we had a column on the expenses form labelled 'facilitating payments'.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 17 Sep 2013, 11:53, 51 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

no and no

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 17 Sep 2013, 11:54, Reply)

Dr No and No

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 17 Sep 2013, 12:00, Reply)

no

( Theoban What of it, Tue 17 Sep 2013, 11:54, Reply)

No
No
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Tue 17 Sep 2013, 11:56, Reply)

mining rights are expensive mind

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 17 Sep 2013, 11:57, Reply)

I had to use it a lot in Moscow, where it would cost 100eu just to get your passport back once you'd handed it to the hotel for visa validation.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 17 Sep 2013, 11:58, Reply)

Otherwise what?
It gets "lost"?
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 17 Sep 2013, 12:00, Reply)

It takes a lot longer to get it back, which means you're stuck in your hotel, as you can get three months inside for walking around without your visa & passport when there on business.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 17 Sep 2013, 12:01, Reply)

Ahhh

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 17 Sep 2013, 12:06, Reply)

30 minutes versus 6 hours.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 17 Sep 2013, 12:10, Reply)

Yes

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 17 Sep 2013, 11:58, Reply)

WHO'D YOU BRIBE HOW MUCH WHAT FOR HOW'D IT GO DOWN oh god entertain me

( Theoban What of it, Tue 17 Sep 2013, 11:59, Reply)

You're going to have to make it worth his while...

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 17 Sep 2013, 12:01, Reply)

god damn it, not again
Tired of sucking doctors off, they never say thanks
( Theoban What of it, Tue 17 Sep 2013, 12:01, Reply)

Bribed Police in another country innit. Speeding and that.
And work related bribes to get contracts.
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 17 Sep 2013, 12:03, Reply)

WHAT
You should go back and apologise
( Theoban What of it, Tue 17 Sep 2013, 12:04, Reply)

But I'm not sorry.
And I don't apologise unless I mean it from the bottom of my heart.
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 17 Sep 2013, 12:05, Reply)

OK "Stevie Wonder"

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 17 Sep 2013, 12:06, Reply)

lol

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 17 Sep 2013, 12:10, Reply)

Do things like Christmas presents count as bribes?
If so, I've had an X-Box and lots of wine over the years from suppliers and a few free nights out
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 17 Sep 2013, 11:59, Reply)

I suspect the esoteric nature of this thread means it is merely a veil to talk about your own experiences of bribery.
Do you have a fuller story to share, or is that about the size of it in the question?
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 17 Sep 2013, 12:00, Reply)

I have nothing specific to share. Merely bored with the previous thread.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 17 Sep 2013, 12:01, Reply)

I've been offered bribes both abroad and at home.
The 'at home' ones were more subtle - sports tickets*, extra/over ordering for interiors so some could be 'diverted'. Some accepted, some not.
I worked in the former Eastern Bloc, bribery was so common that I just got used to it. Our way of accounting for it was as 'tooling money' - most of which ended up as hookers drink and drugs.

*Didn't accept those - I hate it when people assume that because you're male, you like football. I don't. Football is bent and watched by the sub-normal.
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Tue 17 Sep 2013, 12:02, Reply)

I like football
But I do also like licking windows and bumming. sorry as you were
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 17 Sep 2013, 12:08, Reply)

No and no.
I understand that in China it's standard practice.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 17 Sep 2013, 12:03, Reply)

I found Eastern Europe to be worse than China.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 17 Sep 2013, 12:05, Reply)

I'm not surprised.
Chock full of bull-necked Slavs, for one thing.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 17 Sep 2013, 12:07, Reply)

In the cab office there was a whole economy of very subtle bribary and corruption.
Free lifts, pickup things from the shops, stuff from the vending machine.... in exchange for giving people certain jobs [such as where they'd be a good tip / giving a shitting job or customer to someone they don't like].

"Just put it down so they've requested my number", if you know what I mean.

Then living in north cyprus, the whole island is made in that kind of transaction.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 17 Sep 2013, 12:04, Reply)

Surely the formal answer to this - and every question - is
YM.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 17 Sep 2013, 12:06, Reply)

Yehudi Menuhin?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 17 Sep 2013, 12:09, Reply)

Yolande's Maelstrom (rare Eastenders episode)

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 17 Sep 2013, 12:18, Reply)

SUMMINK ABOUT BROWN ENVELOPES, WEDDINGS AND BRIDGES.
saynomore
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 17 Sep 2013, 12:07, Reply)

Innit. That bloke is a fucking wanker. Full of affectation & bullshit. 65 years old & calls a radio 'the wireless', wears a tie on Christmas Day, cunt.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 17 Sep 2013, 12:09, Reply)

Waaaaaaaaaaaay over my head.
Edit: You're describing the ex-in-law, got it, God I'm slow sometimes.
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 17 Sep 2013, 12:10, Reply)

My father-in-law. 100% twat.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 17 Sep 2013, 12:12, Reply)

Sometims mi brayn not werk gud

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 17 Sep 2013, 12:14, Reply)

I'm wearing a tie today and it's not even chrimblypoops

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 17 Sep 2013, 12:14, Reply)

I wear a bow tie all through the chrimbo hollipops season.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 17 Sep 2013, 12:15, Reply)

I hope it's a wakki one!!

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 17 Sep 2013, 12:16, Reply)

Spins and lights up, and plays music.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 17 Sep 2013, 12:16, Reply)

I hope it's the only thing you wear when you're wearing it.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 17 Sep 2013, 12:17, Reply)

Of course, Pat.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 17 Sep 2013, 12:18, Reply)

I'll give a crisp fiver to anyone who starts a better thread.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 17 Sep 2013, 12:13, Reply)

Start one yourself.
Then you'll have, like, £10? Yeah that.
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 17 Sep 2013, 12:14, Reply)

I've just been offered £20 to not bother.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 17 Sep 2013, 12:18, Reply)

I'd take it. £20 for doing nothing. That's essentially what I have done today.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 17 Sep 2013, 12:19, Reply)

We had a similar thing
called Goodwill or something. Terrible, but that's the way the world turns.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 17 Sep 2013, 12:16, Reply)

I'm cold, I need a cup of tea.

( Kroney, Tue 17 Sep 2013, 12:18, Reply)

i'm still waiting for my gaz btw

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 17 Sep 2013, 12:20, Reply)

Word on the street is that this Dr Ape Nackers fella is bingo winged tubbo
Now I'm not the kinda cunt that goes around saying shit about a fucker without first verifying that they I.G.(for example) are an oven glove prick from Sheffield or have a hoover snout, so I just need to know if this is true or if I need to apologise to Dr Nackers. Cheers
( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Tue 17 Sep 2013, 12:31, Reply)

In Prague I had to bribe a Ticket Inspector on the subway
He insisted that he check the tickets of all 50 of the students I was responsible for and then said they weren't valid and refused to return them. 500 Kuruna changed hands and we were allowed to leave. 500 is less than 20 quid but back then was probably a weeks wages for the cunt.
( Peej, Tue 17 Sep 2013, 13:43, Reply)