Ah, somebody's brought their baby into the office
so all the haggard, wizened old middle aged women with leathery moccasin minges can coo over it and tell the proud mother how gorgeous their ugly little brat is. Of course, it's start screaming.

Perfectly appropriate for an open plan professional environment.
( Kroney, Thu 17 Oct 2013, 12:55, 2 replies, latest was 11 years ago)

All babies look the same, and are boring.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 17 Oct 2013, 13:00, Reply)

ditto black people

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 17 Oct 2013, 13:01, Reply)

and gays

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 17 Oct 2013, 13:02, Reply)

in which case
are boring can't swim
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 17 Oct 2013, 13:02, Reply)

they are good at running though
Which helps them commit crimes.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 17 Oct 2013, 13:04, Reply)

Extra bone in their legs innit.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 17 Oct 2013, 13:05, Reply)

Extra bone in their legs innit.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 17 Oct 2013, 13:05, Reply)

One in each?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 17 Oct 2013, 13:07, Reply)

I felt it was worth saying twice.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 17 Oct 2013, 13:07, Reply)

Chinese

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 17 Oct 2013, 13:07, Reply)

pakis too

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 17 Oct 2013, 13:08, Reply)

NO CHINAMEN

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 17 Oct 2013, 13:08, Reply)

They don't look the same.
They vary from ugly to really ugly.
( Kroney, Thu 17 Oct 2013, 13:02, Reply)

Fair point, I never study them in depth. I avoid them due to point 2. They're boring.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 17 Oct 2013, 13:04, Reply)

They're all ugly, apart from my kids, who are beautiful.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 17 Oct 2013, 13:04, Reply)

and sexy too!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 17 Oct 2013, 13:06, Reply)

Not 'alf

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 17 Oct 2013, 13:09, Reply)

They always are, to the parents.
All of whom labour under the distressing delusion that other people will find their children as wonderful as they do. Whilst I don't doubt I will also fall under the spell of whatever witchcraft children weave in order for parents not to see them for the horrible little humunculi that they really are, I hope I will at least not inflict them on other people.
( Kroney, Thu 17 Oct 2013, 13:10, Reply)

I often try to explain this to my kids when they are being a pain in the arse:
If you're annoying me and I love you, just imagine how much you are pissing off everyone else here.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 17 Oct 2013, 13:13, Reply)

Or the Calvin&Hobbes version
(2am) "Mom! What's unconditional love?"

"The only thing stopping me from killing you RIGHT NOW!"
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Thu 17 Oct 2013, 13:16, Reply)

you always said you would never have any
but i guess you need a daughter so that her friends can keep you supplied with an ever fresh pool of "hotter younger models"
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 17 Oct 2013, 13:13, Reply)

Eventually most people breed, I'm just playing the laws of averages.

( Kroney, Thu 17 Oct 2013, 13:19, Reply)

I think I've put a grand total of about 4 pictures of minibadger up
in the 6 months since she's been born

I therefore concur with your approach.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 17 Oct 2013, 13:38, Reply)

Christ! Stop going on and on about your kid, will you!

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 17 Oct 2013, 13:40, Reply)

Mmmm, leathery moccasin minges
totes wish I werent eating a bacon sandwich right now
( Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Thu 17 Oct 2013, 13:05, Reply)

+ imaginary

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 17 Oct 2013, 13:08, Reply)

I don't tend to bicker with my sock accounts so pipe down big 'un

( Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Thu 17 Oct 2013, 13:10, Reply)

:-(

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 17 Oct 2013, 13:10, Reply)

at the end of the day, we're all al/bert/reg/rory
and if we aren't we will be. It's one fucked up circle of life in here
( Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Thu 17 Oct 2013, 13:13, Reply)

Apart from you, 'Bill Clay'
You're the pump king.
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 17 Oct 2013, 13:14, Reply)

oh..., for a crown...:(

( Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Thu 17 Oct 2013, 13:15, Reply)

I'll make you one and present it at the baysh.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 17 Oct 2013, 13:15, Reply)

by all acounts this bash'll be me and monty, possibly
rosalicious signs up for everything, you'll not show and you're also reg and king zog is a cunt.

I'll be there regardless so all the rest is gravy
( Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Thu 17 Oct 2013, 13:18, Reply)