You know that urban myth about the guy what closes his eyes for a wank and when he's finished there's a cup of tea on the side?
Approximately 5 different people have told me that that "happened to their mate". My point is this...are there a select few people (me included) who realise that this never happened?
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 22 Oct 2013, 14:36, 3 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

It's in a (I think) Chris Brookmyre book
of course it never happened.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 22 Oct 2013, 14:37, Reply)

the ice crossbow thing
not the cup of tea/wanking thing. Although that might be, too, for all I know.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 22 Oct 2013, 14:40, Reply)

I assumed you meant the wanking one

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 22 Oct 2013, 14:41, Reply)

totes.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 22 Oct 2013, 14:41, Reply)

I now regret listening to Vanilla Ice
That made me feel a bit sick
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 22 Oct 2013, 14:43, Reply)

Alright
Stop
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 22 Oct 2013, 14:43, Reply)

That's just cruel

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 22 Oct 2013, 14:44, Reply)

Check out the hook while my DJ revolves it

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 22 Oct 2013, 14:44, Reply)

Wow, that is a really nice hook

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 22 Oct 2013, 14:48, Reply)

Almost too nice to hang your coat on

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 22 Oct 2013, 14:49, Reply)

Vanilla Ice does Grand Designs.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 22 Oct 2013, 14:50, Reply)

You've got your head in the McClouds

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 22 Oct 2013, 14:51, Reply)

p.s.
I'm saying you bum Kevin
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 22 Oct 2013, 14:52, Reply)

It happened to my mate.
When he opened his eyes his mum had left him a cup of tea.

And rolled him a joint. She would have given him a hand job but you know.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 22 Oct 2013, 14:40, Reply)

.. but he was behind on the rent?

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 22 Oct 2013, 14:40, Reply)

He was a bit pissed and was fisting his own arse.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 22 Oct 2013, 14:42, Reply)

Then he scarpe-red?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 22 Oct 2013, 14:43, Reply)

A dooby style drugs spliff joint?

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 22 Oct 2013, 14:40, Reply)

I heard she rolled him a leg of lamb.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 22 Oct 2013, 14:41, Reply)

I heard she rolled him all the way home

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 22 Oct 2013, 14:42, Reply)

Yeah. The very same.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 22 Oct 2013, 14:41, Reply)

She was too busy wanking you off?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 22 Oct 2013, 14:43, Reply)

YM makes an excellent cup of tea. Her joint rolling skills could do with a bit more practice.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 22 Oct 2013, 14:43, Reply)

One handed though, eh

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 22 Oct 2013, 14:44, Reply)

Errr WRONG
coz it well happened to a mate of a mate of a mates dog sitting cousins uncle
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 22 Oct 2013, 14:53, Reply)