it's friday
I have half the day off to go up to Staffordshire for a country cottage weekend with my girls

my user number is way lower than any of youse cunts except kroney, I think.

my phone is dead. hurry up and charge, phone.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 8 Nov 2013, 9:44, 2 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

hey! Bridget! Fuck off back to the hockey pitch and take that floppy haired Tarquin cunt with you, yeah?

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 8 Nov 2013, 9:47, Reply)

i fucking hated hockey at school
that ball is too hard to be whacked at you with full force with a stick. netball ftw. nobody ever needed their jaw gluing back together after playing wing attack.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 8 Nov 2013, 9:48, Reply)

haha! netball!
Like that's even a thing.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 8 Nov 2013, 9:50, Reply)

basketball for girls innit

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 8 Nov 2013, 9:52, Reply)

every year at my school, the rugby teams played the netball teams at netball on the last day of school
the boys had to wear netball skirts (one particularly broad hooker had to wear two, safetypinned together). they mocked, oh how they mocked.

and every year, they got THRASHED.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 8 Nov 2013, 9:56, Reply)

so what?
No-one cares, you hippo-hipped hooray Henrietta harpy.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 8 Nov 2013, 9:59, Reply)

nobody made you read it
go back to reading up on tips for how to get nuggets of your own shit out of a hamster's fur
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 8 Nov 2013, 10:02, Reply)

Is this lezza stuff?

(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Fri 8 Nov 2013, 9:49, Reply)

what? no!
some of my friends from school and I are going for a weekend of drinking and playing singstar and the ones who are married will talk about their kids and the ones who aren't will talk about their sex lives.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 8 Nov 2013, 9:50, Reply)

Are you going to talk about your diet then?

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 8 Nov 2013, 9:52, Reply)

I imagine she'll just bang on incessantly about how chompy still hasn't apologised.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 8 Nov 2013, 9:54, Reply)

yer because this place gets 2 seconds of thought in real life
it's a cottage, not a yurt. i won't be wandering around wide-eyed remembering the magic of that there technology.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 8 Nov 2013, 9:55, Reply)

Humour me and say it's lezza stuff.

(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Fri 8 Nov 2013, 9:56, Reply)

yes, ok
we will start off by comparing breast sizes and reassuring each other that we are all gorgeous, then it will move onto bikini waxes, and a discussion about full, strip or shaven haven, before we start whacking each other with pillows.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 8 Nov 2013, 9:57, Reply)

You don' t know how happy you have made B3ta users.

(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Fri 8 Nov 2013, 10:01, Reply)

Back in a minute

(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Fri 8 Nov 2013, 10:34, Reply)