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(I helped save b3ta! rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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I went to the dentist and on the form where it says "How many units of alcohol a week do you drink?"
I told the truth. My Dentist told me off and told me I was going to get mouth cancer or something. I was shocked when I worked it out.

What last shocked you?

ONLY KIDDING IT'S 392 SLEEPS UNTIL XMAS 2014!
(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Thu 28 Nov 2013, 11:10, 124 replies, latest was 11 years ago)
How many was it?
I had 3 bottles of Adnams Broadside last night
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 28 Nov 2013, 11:11, Reply)
I didn't have any last night :(

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Thu 28 Nov 2013, 11:27, Reply)
I had three bottles of McEwans Champion at 3.7 units each and half a bottle of Mcwilliams Markview Shiraz

(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Thu 28 Nov 2013, 11:28, Reply)
Would that reflect your average daily consumption?

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Thu 28 Nov 2013, 11:34, Reply)
Pretty much yes

(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Thu 28 Nov 2013, 11:53, Reply)
How many are you supposed to have?

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 28 Nov 2013, 11:12, Reply)
435

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 28 Nov 2013, 11:12, Reply)
FINE I will google it!

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 28 Nov 2013, 11:14, Reply)
21 a week for a lady
25 (or 24) for a bloke
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 28 Nov 2013, 11:17, Reply)
Yeah, it's nonsense isn't it

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 28 Nov 2013, 11:19, Reply)
I hope so
I more than double that
(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Thu 28 Nov 2013, 11:19, Reply)
They are arbitrary figures plucked out of thin air, giving no consideration to other factors.
You carry on, mate.
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 28 Nov 2013, 11:21, Reply)
Awesome!

(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Thu 28 Nov 2013, 11:23, Reply)
One site says I drink 28 units, another says 45.
Either way it seems low.
(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 28 Nov 2013, 11:19, Reply)
Last night I drank about 16 without even trying!

(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Thu 28 Nov 2013, 11:25, Reply)
it varies depending what country you're in
www.icap.org/table/Internationaldrinkingguidelines

no great surprise that the US government's limit is the lowest one there
(I helped save b3ta! The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Thu 28 Nov 2013, 11:55, Reply)
Change your dentist.
I don't pay my dentist vast sums of money to be lectured about shit like that.
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 28 Nov 2013, 11:20, Reply)
She claims its a legal requirement to tell me I am going to get cancer

(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Thu 28 Nov 2013, 11:20, Reply)
I tell people they will get cancer for fun.

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 28 Nov 2013, 11:21, Reply)
Has she looked at the genetic factors involved?

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 28 Nov 2013, 11:22, Reply)
Not really
It's hard to work out what I am going to die from since the last three generations of my family have topped themselves. Plus my mums mum was adopted so no idea what her family history is. I've decided to simply live forever.
(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Thu 28 Nov 2013, 11:27, Reply)
In which case you should definitely drink heavily
Eternal life is bound to get boring otherwise
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 28 Nov 2013, 11:27, Reply)
I've got cancer and heart disease on both sides of my family.
I've decided to shoot myself in my study at the age of 55 after having murdered everyone that's ever annoyed me.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Thu 28 Nov 2013, 11:29, Reply)
Ohhh, I like this

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 28 Nov 2013, 11:29, Reply)
Please make that 35, not 55. Thanks.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 28 Nov 2013, 11:29, Reply)
You just made THE LIST

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 28 Nov 2013, 11:30, Reply)
Sorry, got to leave a decent period in which I actually buy a place with a study.
Then I've got to populate it with wingback armchairs and mahogany furniture. Then I've got to purchase an antique flintlock pistol and have it reactivated. I ain't doing all that in two years.

Especially since the study's going to have to be in an Edwardian townhouse and not, say, a one/two bed flat.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Thu 28 Nov 2013, 11:33, Reply)
Excellent planning

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 28 Nov 2013, 11:35, Reply)
Your dentist is a cunt.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 28 Nov 2013, 11:20, Reply)
Are you his dentist?

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 28 Nov 2013, 11:22, Reply)
Yes.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 28 Nov 2013, 11:22, Reply)
My dentist has a forrin sounding name. I think she might be indian or pakistani.

(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Thu 28 Nov 2013, 11:24, Reply)
My dentist is the hottest Indian woman I've ever seen

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 28 Nov 2013, 11:24, Reply)
Is she efficient?

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 28 Nov 2013, 11:25, Reply)
Very

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 28 Nov 2013, 11:26, Reply)
It's the moustache.

(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Thu 28 Nov 2013, 11:25, Reply)
officelol

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 28 Nov 2013, 11:24, Reply)
Don't fall in!

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 28 Nov 2013, 11:25, Reply)
Well this is a shit thread

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 28 Nov 2013, 11:23, Reply)
NO YOUNS ARE!

(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Thu 28 Nov 2013, 11:24, Reply)
Going to do the Kew Chrimbleybobs walk thingie?

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Thu 28 Nov 2013, 11:26, Reply)
Ooh I dunno, mrs ape used to work there so we have a shit ton of free tcikets

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 28 Nov 2013, 11:34, Reply)
Yeah? Want to post me a couple?

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Thu 28 Nov 2013, 11:38, Reply)
I would if say I'd been invited to a BBQ earlier in the year...

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 28 Nov 2013, 11:42, Reply)
You would have had you turned up to any of the b4sh3z you'd been invited to...

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Thu 28 Nov 2013, 11:47, Reply)
can we have more pictures of Jet from Gladiators please?

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 28 Nov 2013, 11:26, Reply)


(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 28 Nov 2013, 11:29, Reply)
He needs to chew that, otherwise it'll get stuck

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 28 Nov 2013, 11:30, Reply)


(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Thu 28 Nov 2013, 11:32, Reply)
ooof!

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 28 Nov 2013, 11:33, Reply)
She looks like a slightly more masculine Kate Bush.

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Thu 28 Nov 2013, 11:35, Reply)
I think she looks like Michelle Keegan in that photo

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 28 Nov 2013, 11:36, Reply)
I don't know what a Michelle Keegan is.

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Thu 28 Nov 2013, 11:38, Reply)
Pretty orange girl from Coronation St
Massive tits
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 28 Nov 2013, 11:39, Reply)
An orange Northerner.
Hmm. No, you're alright, thanks.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Thu 28 Nov 2013, 11:41, Reply)
She's actually pretty hot

(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Thu 28 Nov 2013, 11:42, Reply)
It's the orange and the Northern that's the problem.
Plus I'd lay money on her not being a fascinating conversationalist.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Thu 28 Nov 2013, 11:50, Reply)
So keep her off the fake tan for a bit, gag her, fuck her a few times then move on.
Whats the problem?
(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Thu 28 Nov 2013, 11:52, Reply)
Just not to my taste, chief.
Don't take offence.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Thu 28 Nov 2013, 12:02, Reply)
I AM OFFENDED!
ON THE INTERNET!
(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Thu 28 Nov 2013, 12:05, Reply)
She is gorgeous.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 28 Nov 2013, 11:56, Reply)
Man's arms.

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 28 Nov 2013, 11:34, Reply)
She can wank like a crazy chimp

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 28 Nov 2013, 11:35, Reply)
cor!

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 28 Nov 2013, 11:53, Reply)
I think she's a lesbian.
HTH xx
(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 28 Nov 2013, 11:41, Reply)
Well she was fucking Hunter before Ulrika and she married George Mayhew so she's not a very good one

(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Thu 28 Nov 2013, 11:50, Reply)
Yeah, she divorced just after she got her Psyhcotherapy degree.
Im not sure if she is, my mate knows her through his singer friend Sonia Strong.
They seem VERY close.

Nudge nudge.
(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 28 Nov 2013, 11:59, Reply)
I see your sleeps calculation has omitted the amount of sleeps I intend on taking on the workplace shitter.
Was this oversight deliberate?
(I helped save b3ta! Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 28 Nov 2013, 11:35, Reply)
Tried to get through to N Power today only to be told to call back later, then see this:
www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-25127453

Obviously the Mail covered this story too making INDIA CALL CENTRES their headline.

*rolleyes*

*slanty eyes*
(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 28 Nov 2013, 11:38, Reply)
I've phoned NPower before.
It is a soul-destroying experience.
(I helped save b3ta! Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 28 Nov 2013, 11:45, Reply)
Try *insert name of any energy company ever*

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Thu 28 Nov 2013, 11:48, Reply)
Usual call waiting time of 20 mins minimum.
Last time I was transferred 4 times to other departments. When I finally thought I'd got through I heard someone in the background say "No, you press hold, then transfer".

I hung up.
(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 28 Nov 2013, 11:49, Reply)
I thought you call centre drones have a secret code to jump the queues?

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 28 Nov 2013, 12:21, Reply)
Give Doozer his account back, Rory!

(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 28 Nov 2013, 12:52, Reply)
I'm fucking shocked at how long one headache can last
About 3 weeks now and counting....
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 28 Nov 2013, 11:48, Reply)
Brain tumour. Seek help.

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Thu 28 Nov 2013, 11:49, Reply)
Yeah that doesn't sound too healthy.

(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 28 Nov 2013, 11:49, Reply)
It doesnt feel it either

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 28 Nov 2013, 11:55, Reply)
get it seen too!
You been drinking enough fluids?

Alcohol doesn't count
(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 28 Nov 2013, 11:56, Reply)
I drink fucking gallons of water/juice

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 28 Nov 2013, 11:58, Reply)
Woah, hold on a minute...
Sporto is a bloke, he doesn't need to see a doctor.
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 28 Nov 2013, 12:00, Reply)
^^^^^

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 28 Nov 2013, 12:01, Reply)
don't come crying to me when his head drops off

(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 28 Nov 2013, 12:04, Reply)
You are going to die very shortly
HTH
(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Thu 28 Nov 2013, 11:51, Reply)
*crosses fingers*

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 28 Nov 2013, 11:55, Reply)
Before you shuffle off this mortal coil, enjoy a MASSIVE JET PICTURE!

(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Thu 28 Nov 2013, 11:56, Reply)
Thanks man
*carks*
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 28 Nov 2013, 11:56, Reply)
Could you make this bigger please? The international space station can hardly see it.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 28 Nov 2013, 11:57, Reply)
Yes

(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Thu 28 Nov 2013, 11:57, Reply)
Try to get another headache and see if they cancel each other out.

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 28 Nov 2013, 11:57, Reply)
Thanks Doc

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 28 Nov 2013, 11:57, Reply)
Always a pleasure.

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 28 Nov 2013, 11:58, Reply)
I have bacon \o/

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 28 Nov 2013, 11:56, Reply)
ima get me some pizza
If I'm gonna die of brainache, I'm going fat
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 28 Nov 2013, 11:57, Reply)
Have bacon on it.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 28 Nov 2013, 11:59, Reply)
Good plan

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 28 Nov 2013, 12:00, Reply)
And crumble some paracetamol over it

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 28 Nov 2013, 12:00, Reply)
MEATZA

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 28 Nov 2013, 12:00, Reply)
tggi^

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 28 Nov 2013, 12:01, Reply)
Imma get a meatza tonight now

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 28 Nov 2013, 12:01, Reply)
Alright Jar Jar Binks

(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Thu 28 Nov 2013, 12:10, Reply)

www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post2156648
(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 28 Nov 2013, 12:11, Reply)
meesa in deep doodoo

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 28 Nov 2013, 12:12, Reply)

meesa meatza
(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 28 Nov 2013, 12:14, Reply)
The best character in the best one of the star trek films

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 28 Nov 2013, 12:12, Reply)
hahahaha

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 28 Nov 2013, 12:16, Reply)
I preferred Dr. Theopolis

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 28 Nov 2013, 12:20, Reply)
I liked it when Hans Solo shot Greedy under the table with his lightsabre

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 28 Nov 2013, 12:22, Reply)
I like it when Kirk shaved his head and said 'make it so'

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 28 Nov 2013, 12:22, Reply)
I liked it when Ben Disko asked Uhuru to beam him up.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 28 Nov 2013, 12:24, Reply)
I liked it when someone started a new thread that wasn't shit

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 28 Nov 2013, 12:26, Reply)
MAKE IT SO!

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 28 Nov 2013, 12:26, Reply)
The one off of Dragon's Den?

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 28 Nov 2013, 12:23, Reply)
Deborah Meaden?

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 28 Nov 2013, 12:24, Reply)
Nah, that was James Khaaaaaan!

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 28 Nov 2013, 12:24, Reply)

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