Morning all
I am about to embark on a four-day weekend which will involve a certain amount of shopping, some outdoor DIY and a modicum* of drinking. How's your lives going as you work today and I don't?**
Alt: When you have a cold, do you drag yourself into work, coughing and spluttering over your colleagues like a latter-day Typhoid Mary, infecting all and sundry with your germs? Or, do you do the responsible thing and stay home until you're no longer a leprous snot machine?
Altalt: If a colleague does come in to work with a cold, should you be allowed to punch the selfish cunt in the throat?

*A shitoad. Cue the 'I'd drink heavily etc....' brigade
**HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Fri 29 Nov 2013, 7:59, 122 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Not great.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 29 Nov 2013, 8:00, Reply)

placid
Nobody cares.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 29 Nov 2013, 8:02, Reply)

Wow, you drink loads COOL*
Wow, You have a day off JEALOUS**
Wow, this is a shit thread***







*It isn't
**I'm not, I really couldn't care less
***True story
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 29 Nov 2013, 8:06, Reply)

it's a click from me!

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 29 Nov 2013, 8:07, Reply)

I am clicking your comment so it's also a click from me!

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 29 Nov 2013, 8:10, Reply)

That's halfway to the popular page then.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 29 Nov 2013, 8:15, Reply)

Where's Richard?

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 29 Nov 2013, 8:25, Reply)

Good hand hygiene is more important and effective than lame attempts at quarantine.
I feel it is my duty as a Coventrian to drink heavily, particularly if I have a cold.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 29 Nov 2013, 8:44, Reply)

Agreed on the hand hygiene
However, the spluttering snot-monster didn't wash his hands,/wipe down the hotdesk 'phone etc etc so, should he be punched in the throat?
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Fri 29 Nov 2013, 8:50, Reply)

I'm just not convinced that violence solves anything, cap

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 29 Nov 2013, 8:54, Reply)

What? I didn't read it.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 29 Nov 2013, 8:51, Reply)

just type your feelings and emotions

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 29 Nov 2013, 8:55, Reply)

Mmmmm, bread
Oooh, coffeee
Fuck, work
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 29 Nov 2013, 9:07, Reply)

^

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 29 Nov 2013, 9:24, Reply)

Worst brigade ever
I'm happy it's Friday. I'm happy it's almost December. I'm not happy with how slow the clock is moving today. I'll try ignoring it for a bit
(Xav loves PhillieJoe, Fri 29 Nov 2013, 9:02, Reply)

Hi Xav

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 29 Nov 2013, 9:05, Reply)

Hi hoss
I got called a troll yesterday, but I think it was just a mixup. I thought trolling was when you went on a Dark Knight messageboard and said you preferred Jack Nicholson's joker.
(Xav loves PhillieJoe, Fri 29 Nov 2013, 9:08, Reply)

I'm sure you're not a troll mate

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 29 Nov 2013, 9:11, Reply)

Thanks man
Seems a bit slow today
(Xav loves PhillieJoe, Fri 29 Nov 2013, 9:22, Reply)

Good morning all
Although full to the brim with snot I am in work. I'm off to "cure" this at lunchtime via the medium of strong lagers
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 29 Nov 2013, 9:07, Reply)

I am also off work
This morning is dentist, post office, bank manager, wreath collection/laying.

What a shite holiday.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 29 Nov 2013, 9:14, Reply)

Laying
so at least some sex at the end of it all eh... every cloud
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 29 Nov 2013, 9:27, Reply)

Fat old jobsworth shit cunt advocates taking time off for the smallest reason shocker
Alt: I go to work because I'm not a fucking pussy

Altalt: only if it's you, now piss off and choke to death on a strepsil you fetid waste of flesh
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 29 Nov 2013, 9:19, Reply)

It's like the spirit of monty has entered your soul

( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 29 Nov 2013, 9:22, Reply)

Via my arse

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 29 Nov 2013, 9:23, Reply)

Just like YM

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 29 Nov 2013, 9:33, Reply)

My mum bummed me?
I'd better put her name out on twitter
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 29 Nov 2013, 9:35, Reply)

I think this is the accepted thing

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 29 Nov 2013, 9:37, Reply)

I've got me some live Cypress Hill on for a Friday morn
I also have flapjacks

WIN!
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 29 Nov 2013, 9:37, Reply)

I saw them a few years back
A b3tan was running the AV as a furtive bear popped up several times
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 29 Nov 2013, 9:39, Reply)

haha!
I saw them in 2000
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 29 Nov 2013, 9:41, Reply)

Is there anything more tedious than someone telling you about a programme they watched on the TV?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 29 Nov 2013, 9:42, Reply)

ye

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 29 Nov 2013, 9:43, Reply)

s

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 29 Nov 2013, 9:43, Reply)

Whatever it is, I don't want to find out about it then

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 29 Nov 2013, 9:44, Reply)

Only just but I find it more tedious when people tell me about their dreams.

( Peej, Fri 29 Nov 2013, 9:47, Reply)

Oh man
Last night I dreamed about watching a TV programme
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 29 Nov 2013, 9:58, Reply)

Thats nothing
Last night I dreamed I was dreaming about watching a TV programme about dreams
( Peej, Fri 29 Nov 2013, 10:07, Reply)

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
RINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNG
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 29 Nov 2013, 10:09, Reply)

yep
"I had this dream last night" is interesting in precisely 0.01% of cases
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 29 Nov 2013, 9:53, Reply)

www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post2157606
( Peej, Fri 29 Nov 2013, 9:55, Reply)

When I was in boy band 5ive working summer season at Haven holiday park.
I found myself backstage with the two birds from short lived pop band Deuce. Now I quite fancied Kelly but I didn't want Lisa to feel left out so I let them both nosh me of and then let Lisa lick my balls whilst I fucked Kelly from behind. Lisa ended up marrying antanddec but thats another story.
( Peej, Fri 29 Nov 2013, 9:45, Reply)

LLLlllllllllllllllllllllllllets get rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrready for grumble

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 29 Nov 2013, 9:57, Reply)

Lisa was butters

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 29 Nov 2013, 10:07, Reply)

butterface?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 29 Nov 2013, 10:09, Reply)

That means vile, right?
That's why she married Ant with his fivehead.
She works in make up now. Specialising in a matt emulsion finish.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 29 Nov 2013, 10:11, Reply)

That is my signature finishing move
butterface means everything is great....butterface
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 29 Nov 2013, 10:13, Reply)

I like BOBFOC

( Peej, Fri 29 Nov 2013, 10:13, Reply)

There's a girl here who is BOCFOC

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 29 Nov 2013, 10:14, Reply)

I'm less that 2m away from a bobfoc
seriously, arse is impeccable, face like ken dodd and jimmy hill had a daughter.
( Peej, Fri 29 Nov 2013, 10:16, Reply)

My next door neighbour looks like Ken Dodd's sister

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 29 Nov 2013, 10:17, Reply)

Do you live in Brighton?

( Peej, Fri 29 Nov 2013, 10:18, Reply)

I do not

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 29 Nov 2013, 10:24, Reply)

Its you in a dress isnt it

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 29 Nov 2013, 10:23, Reply)

yes
*sobs*
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 29 Nov 2013, 10:24, Reply)

STOP RIGHT THERE!
You can tell antanddec apart? NO-ONE CAN!
( Peej, Fri 29 Nov 2013, 10:13, Reply)

Northerners can

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 29 Nov 2013, 10:14, Reply)

Lies on the Internet. FOBTQOTW!

( Peej, Fri 29 Nov 2013, 10:14, Reply)

Ant=HEED
Dec=Not HEED

Dec's brother is a chaplain, TRUFAX
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 29 Nov 2013, 10:16, Reply)

Whatever, take your lies and fuck off

( Peej, Fri 29 Nov 2013, 10:17, Reply)

HEED

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 29 Nov 2013, 10:17, Reply)

Normally I go for Brunettes but in this case I'll take the blondE

( Peej, Fri 29 Nov 2013, 10:10, Reply)

The were so camp...
I loved them :(
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 29 Nov 2013, 10:11, Reply)

I saw them live at the RADIO ONE ROADSHOW MOTHERFUCKERS!

( Peej, Fri 29 Nov 2013, 10:14, Reply)

WITH BOYZONE!

( Peej, Fri 29 Nov 2013, 10:14, Reply)

I WOULD HAVE BEEN FANGIRRLING ALL OVER.

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 29 Nov 2013, 10:20, Reply)

^ wide on ^

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 29 Nov 2013, 10:25, Reply)

Boyzone were all wearing orange jumpsuits
and Kelly O'Keeeeefe had her jugs hanging out everywhere
( Peej, Fri 29 Nov 2013, 10:27, Reply)

She worked hard for the money

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 29 Nov 2013, 10:31, Reply)

the brunette has better legs

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 29 Nov 2013, 10:32, Reply)

Aren't you a bit old to be all "YEAH HEAVY DRINKING AWESOME?"
Sure, go drinking, but bragging about it is for kids and sad, borderline alcoholic bastards.
( Kroney, Fri 29 Nov 2013, 10:01, Reply)

Meh. Too early to decide.
Hopefully yesterdays office am drams will spill over and make the day go quicker while I sip my coffee and sneer.

alt.I never really get sick. If it's viral, then yes I will take time off. If it's a bit of a sniffle, it's time to man up.

altalt. No.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 29 Nov 2013, 10:03, Reply)

Office drama details required

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 29 Nov 2013, 10:04, Reply)

This lass with attitude got pulled for her calls, being to abrupt and rude.
She's never wrong though, about anything. She's a strong black woman who don't need no mans mmmhmmm *z clicks*, so she got arsey with it.

She went and had a row with one of the bosses. Screaming rows. Twas great. I was in the office opposite with my boss watching everything and throwing popcorn.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 29 Nov 2013, 10:10, Reply)

You had to be there.

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 29 Nov 2013, 10:10, Reply)

I lolled at a story from here
Lass from customer services going home on the bus and inspector gets on. All tickets OK apart from black lad who pulls the "is it 'cuz I iz black innit?" defence

Err no, its cuz I 'as no ticket innit blud?
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 29 Nov 2013, 10:12, Reply)

I am at the soft play centre again. I'm keeping an eye out for any blokes named Ian.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 29 Nov 2013, 10:27, Reply)

Alright Ian?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 29 Nov 2013, 10:29, Reply)

Not bad ta. How are you Ian?

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 29 Nov 2013, 10:29, Reply)

Pretty good, considering!
Nice to see you again via webcam.

Thanks for everything,

Regards,

Ian x
(Lou Carpenter, Fri 29 Nov 2013, 10:38, Reply)

'Ian' is a dangerously paedophilic name

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 29 Nov 2013, 10:39, Reply)

Shame the sound quality wasn't better, but I'll get some new speakers at the weekend, just for you.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 29 Nov 2013, 10:50, Reply)

What happened with that bird? Did you get tops and fingers yet?
I read some of the posts on the Ian Watkins is innocent page. Apparently if you try and kill yourself it proves you are innocent because guilty people don't try and kill themselves. So thats great news for Ian Huntly, Harold Shipman and Fred West.
( Peej, Fri 29 Nov 2013, 10:29, Reply)

I didn't follow up with her. Tbh, I can't be bothered.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 29 Nov 2013, 10:30, Reply)

GAY!

( Peej, Fri 29 Nov 2013, 10:30, Reply)

I'm saving myself for you next week sweetie.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 29 Nov 2013, 10:31, Reply)

Nice cover for your paedo exploits.
But it's nice, you hanging round with people your own height.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 29 Nov 2013, 10:32, Reply)

clickin dis

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 29 Nov 2013, 10:32, Reply)

alright

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 29 Nov 2013, 10:27, Reply)

Yeah, you?

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 29 Nov 2013, 10:32, Reply)

yer ta
Picking up some paraplanning cases today. Haven't done any in quite a while. Nice change from the norm.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 29 Nov 2013, 10:33, Reply)

plegic, chute or trooper?

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 29 Nov 2013, 10:39, Reply)

always the 'chute' with you benders, isn't ut?

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 29 Nov 2013, 10:41, Reply)

NO DELIVERIES IN THE BACK!

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 29 Nov 2013, 10:46, Reply)

rofls all round chaps

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 29 Nov 2013, 10:52, Reply)

I wish you would chute yourself in the head

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 29 Nov 2013, 10:53, Reply)

This is fun:
slightlywrongquotes.tumblr.com/
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 29 Nov 2013, 11:01, Reply)

My internet is broken
Pls send Kroney to fix it thx
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 29 Nov 2013, 11:05, Reply)

It clearly isnt

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 29 Nov 2013, 11:07, Reply)

It bloody is

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 29 Nov 2013, 11:08, Reply)

new thread alert!!

( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 29 Nov 2013, 11:11, Reply)