WOAH! Slow down there Placid, before you hurt yourself!
January is a bollocks month really.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 12:20, 2 replies, latest was 11 years ago)

Not for me! I'm going to a hotel for a night of dirty sex next Friday!

( Peej, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 12:27, Reply)

Wanking while crying alone in a hotel room
doesn't count
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 12:32, Reply)

If you sit in your own excrement while doing it
it's still technically dirty.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 12:33, Reply)

I think you will find it fucking does if you buy champagne!

( Peej, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 12:36, Reply)

And I'm going round to give your missus a proper seeing to whilst you're away.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 12:32, Reply)

Not likely
I've hidden the stepladder out of your reach
( Peej, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 12:36, Reply)

\o/
Well, that's every weekend for me so still need something to break up the month. Not in a hotel mind. That would be a fucking expensive relationship.

I'm off to Ireland in a couple weeks to see some drag queens.
Not for sex, mind!
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 12:37, Reply)

Gays can't have sex
Sex requires a penis and a vagina. You gays just wank each other off with your arseholes. Whats next? People will start claiming getting sucked off by Swipey counts as sex.
( Peej, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 12:42, Reply)

10/10

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 12:42, Reply)

especially for "wank each other off with your arseholes"

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 12:45, Reply)

You wouldn't claim sticking your dick in your fleshlight counts as sex would you Sporters?

( Peej, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 12:46, Reply)

errrrr.........

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 12:47, Reply)

Tell that to your lass when you ride up the dirt track.
"sorry, love. Doesn't count"
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 12:47, Reply)

Normal people don't do that Jason.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 12:50, Reply)

^ SCREEN GRABS ^

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 12:51, Reply)

Ha!
Sorryboutit
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 12:52, Reply)

I ent normal fanks

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 12:52, Reply)

Doesn't count as sex, same as a blowob doesn't.

( Peej, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 12:56, Reply)

The Clinton defense
executed to perfection
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 13:05, Reply)

people who are lucky enough to have had that experience
the rest of you can only dream
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 12:51, Reply)

I didn't even have to take you for pizza first!

( Peej, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 12:56, Reply)

'January is a bollocks month'
You're right there. Compared to the manic rush by companies to spend considerable amounts of money* in December before the Xmas budget goblins stole it - January is going to draaaaaaaaag.

*Half of my yearly target in one month. WTF?
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 12:28, Reply)

Consumerism gets us through the dark months.

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 12:37, Reply)