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Are you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.
(
rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Apparently David Cameron's hairdresser has been awarded an MBE (!)
www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-25629480Yes, for THAT hair...
What award would you give a fellow B3tan?
alt. Favourite pizza topping and/or lunch.
Bolognese for me.
altalt. Last thing you bought online.
Mine was a DVI to HDMI cable. Fascinating stuff.
Or talk, innit. How's your week looking?
(
GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 11:55,
294 replies,
latest was 11 years ago)
Recognised for services to hairdressing.
I mean, really...
(
GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 11:55,
Reply)
I wouldn't, none of you deserve one
Alt, pepperoni. Also anyone who suggests a stupid made up pizza name is a cunt.
AltAlt a new remote control after the back button broke on mine.
(
Peej, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 11:57,
Reply)
next time you're in london
we'll take you to fire and stone. you'll LOVE it.
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 12:04,
Reply)
+ round the back, by the bins
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 12:06,
Reply)
TGGI^
(
Peej, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 12:09,
Reply)
joins queue for GI
(
Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 12:15,
Reply)
Yeh right, you'll just cancel on me again like last time
(
Peej, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 12:09,
Reply)
:(
not if there is pizza involved!
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 12:18,
Reply)
Alt: anchovies.
AltAlt: a christmas stocking for my daughter, embroidered with her name.
(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 11:59,
Reply)
micro?
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 12:01,
Reply)
You fucking idiot.
(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 12:03,
Reply)
you love me x
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 12:03,
Reply)
I do like anchovies. Just had em recently. Nice and salty.
(
GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 12:03,
Reply)
nobody wants to hear about your other half's cock, darling
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 12:03,
Reply)
:(
Definitely more meaty than an anchovy, pet.
(
GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 12:10,
Reply)
Battered in
BUYING LINGERIE FOR CHILD SHOCK, reports Daily Mail,
Intrepid internet Gnome admitted today that he bought Stockings for his daughter, we here at the Daily Mail think that this act is up there with the antics of Rolf Harris,
Have your say.
Should this horrific man be strung up by his pube?
(
Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 12:17,
Reply)
i would give stunned and battered awards for helping london's pubs to keep going during the recession
alt: a really thin crust pizza with: roasted mushrooms, courgettes, peppers, jalapenos and red onion, drizzled with pesto, and then topped with mozzarella, goats cheese or feta cheese and blue cheese, and fresh chilli.
altalt: I hardly ever shop online, but I did buy a mini-cupcake maker for my niece, together with all different icings and cake toppings.
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 12:01,
Reply)
Keeping the High Street alive!
(
GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 12:30,
Reply)
I quite like pineapple on a pizza
There. I've said it.
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 12:01,
Reply)
sssssh
you'll give vegetarians a bad name
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 12:01,
Reply)
Bon Jovi's later work really didn't have the edge
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 12:32,
Reply)
To be fair, neither did their earlier work.
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 12:34,
Reply)
Pineapple and Jellipinos make a great combination for pizza.
(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 12:02,
Reply)
NO!!!!
It's on par with apple and raisins in curry.
I don't even like it on Gammon.
(
GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 12:03,
Reply)
Twat
(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 12:09,
Reply)
I love pineapple on pizza
And on burgers and gammon and deep fried in batter.
(
Captain Give-A-Fuck #internetpals4eva, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 12:15,
Reply)
I think it's a bit disgusting that it's always Dave's mates who get all the good shit.
Dave just has normal hair, there is absolutely nothing noteworthy. Nobody has ever said "Did you see Dave's new Haircut?" It's about the least defining feature there is about him.
alt: Scrambled duck egg with sumac on grainy toast.
atl#2: I like a ton of different veg and 'honey mustard' sauce drizzled.
altalt: I'm not sure, I bought my mate Season 1 of 'House of Cards' on Bluray. It's a wicked show, really had me hooked. I'm making my way through Breaking Bad ATM.
Generic Talk: I just finished "A Sword of Storms", gonna give the GoT a break now though, my mate got me a Martina Cole book for christmas that i'll move onto next, I ain't read her in tiiime, used to like her stuff though.
(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 12:02,
Reply)
I really enjoyed Breaking Bad.
I need to get GoT on Blu Ray. Everyone is nagging me to watch it.
Takes me ages to catch up on tv stuff.
The books seem LONG
(
GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 12:11,
Reply)
did you finish Breaking Bad?
(
dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 12:13,
Reply)
Yep. Liked the way they wrapped it up. Was a bit disappointed what you said about Walt Jr wasn't true
and knowing about the cigarette made the end less of a shock.
(
GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 12:17,
Reply)
it was pretty harsh when Hank got executed though
(
dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 12:25,
Reply)
Yeah that was a good scene.
I was also waiting for the moment Walt confessed about Jane.
Gripping stuff
(
GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 12:31,
Reply)
The ricin in the cup of tea bit was spasticated though.
(
dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 12:32,
Reply)
Sweet n Low
(
GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 12:40,
Reply)
Oh, I see what you're doing here. Same to Gonz as what you did to me!
(
GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 12:40,
Reply)
I don't care.
(
dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 12:42,
Reply)
You're CRAZY!
(
GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 12:49,
Reply)
I find Breaking Bad has gone from 'background telly' to 'watched telly', so my progress is slow. I limit myself to at most 2 epps a night so I know where I am. I think I'm about S03E05
I really thought i'd hate GoT, I ain't into Tolken or castles'n'shit, but I love it. The telly show enhances the book and visa-versa; rather than the usual of one ruining the other.
The books are real hard-to-put-down, each chapter is from a character's perspective, and there are a couple of characters who really do my tits in when it's their chapter, but they're worth plowing through for the characters you do like. Trouble is there is a high likelyhood of the author dying before he finishes them 'cus he takes a fucking age.
(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 12:44,
Reply)
I'd award Secondbesttroll 'Second Best Troll'
Alt: All the meats obviously.
Altalt: Car tax :(
(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 12:02,
Reply)
oh yeah
fucking parking permit. because my landlord wants £850 a year for a parking space, even though it was £150 before the stupid queen sold it, humph.
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 12:03,
Reply)
Also, even though I paid you bought that ticket for me because I'm a spastic.
(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 12:07,
Reply)
Thanks sweetie.
I'd award you best green thing
I have pizza from last night. Cheeze, tomato, prawns, lalapenos and fresh tomato.
(
DBT became a fruitarian on, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 12:09,
Reply)
My pleasure xx
(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 12:10,
Reply)
I'd give the guy CBE if he went all "Sweeny Todd" on the bastard
Alt: Victoria Coren Mitchell would make a smashing pizza topping. I'd eat any pizza she'd been sitting on for 5 minutes.
(
Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 12:08,
Reply)
Bit old for you int she?
(
GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 12:12,
Reply)
Not at all.
(
Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 12:13,
Reply)
You can fucking have her
Plain and dumpy were the first two words that sprung to mind.
(
Peej, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 12:13,
Reply)
innit
A mate of mine fucking loves her. I don't see the attraction.
(
dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 12:16,
Reply)
If she was wallpaper, she'd be fleck.
(
GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 12:18,
Reply)
I don't see your lack of attraction.
(
Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 12:19,
Reply)
Thats because you only fancy kids and plain dumpy birds
(
Peej, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 12:22,
Reply)
greggs hat loved her
and penny out of BB. and ALL men love philippa forester. why?
genuinely I don't get any of them.
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 12:19,
Reply)
Ewwwww
(
Peej, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 12:21,
Reply)
fucking stupid name
(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 12:22,
Reply)
hahaha
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 12:27,
Reply)
Penny from BB?!
Wasn't she that skinny, old, wrinkled, blonde thing?
Vile.
(
GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 12:27,
Reply)
i hate to admit it, but she's not that skinny, by hollywood standards
she has a fairly nice, toned body. but her face... she's just not that pretty!
#bitchy
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 12:28,
Reply)
Butterface.
She will be haggard now. She was in the second one or summat.
(
GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 12:33,
Reply)
swipe is talking about the dreadful shitcom The Big Bang Theory, you dimwitted oaf
(
dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 12:35,
Reply)
Awww. I was enjoying Jason getting it wrong again :(
(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 12:37,
Reply)
soz m8
Did you resend that Peshay record?
(
dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 12:38,
Reply)
Yeah before xmas but I dunno where it is
(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 12:39,
Reply)
it ent at my gaff, that's fo sho, me knotty headed nigga
(
dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 12:41,
Reply)
Surely that would be BBT then and not BB, which has always been an acronym for Big Brother, Blackbery or bareback.
I don't watch Big Bang Theory, or have a clue who is in it, but thanks for your input.
(
GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 12:43,
Reply)
^ upset
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 12:47,
Reply)
ffs jason we can't tailor every post to meet your homosexual agenda, most people here are normal remember?
(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 12:49,
Reply)
MODS!
(
GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 12:49,
Reply)
Kaley Cuoco has mannish shoulders.
And Forrester was only fit when she was on Saturday morning kids TV. She's a right munter these days. She's even worse than you, FFS.
(
dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 12:27,
Reply)
you've never met me, sunshine
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 12:28,
Reply)
Frog gave me the lowdown on the magnitude of your muntitude.
(
dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 12:30,
Reply)
wipe the spunk off your screen, then
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 12:32,
Reply)
it's spew, not spunk
(
dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 12:33,
Reply)
Victoria Coren is easy to explain
She's pretty attractive, good body, and very intelligent.
I've no fucking idea who Penny out of BB is, and I can't really picture Philippa Forester so I obviously don't.
Your idea of an attractive woman is one of those interchangeable ones that look like pre-pubescent boys so if it's OK, I'll consider your opinion fairly worthless on this one, yeah?
(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 12:28,
Reply)
oh man!
if it helps, I think the hottest women on the planet are: megan fox, Jennifer aniston, a young calista flockhart and, back in the day, vivien leigh. oh and I quite like the ginger one from girls aloud.
they aren't ALL pre-pubescent, surely?!
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 12:29,
Reply)
you have shit taste in birds
(
dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 12:31,
Reply)
Calista Flockhart fairly famously suffered from appaling eating disorders, no?
Megan Fox and Aniston I'll more or less let you off, at least they vaguely look like their might be some oestrogen circulating somewhere there. I'm sure you used to bang on about people like Kate Moss a lot.
(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 12:31,
Reply)
oh yes, she was fucking stunning back in the day
still is, but some of her early 90's calvin klein shots were amazing.
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 12:32,
Reply)
She. looks. like. a. teenage. boy.
It's no fucking wonder women have mental self esteem issues
(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 12:34,
Reply)
she is all lean and cheekboney and big eyes and big lips, it's ridiculously hot
that video she did for the white stripes was like porn.
humph.
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 12:36,
Reply)
I agree with swipe here
(
dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 12:37,
Reply)
fucking hell
I feel sick
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 12:38,
Reply)
^^This man speaks for me in these matters.
(
Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Tue 7 Jan 2014, 12:40,
Reply)
Men like fat birds, men like thin birds, men like lots of make up, men like minimal make up.
Men like curves, but not too fat. Men like skinny, but not *too* skinny.
That's why women have self esteem issues.
They should just be themselves, and someone, somewhere will love them for who they are.
Doesn't help when their magazines are splashed with pics of "fat" celebs mind. More fool them for buying them!
(
GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 12:45,
Reply)
So, men like girls who are average, which causes women to have self esteem issues.
(
Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 12:52,
Reply)
GeordieJay is of course an expert in what straight men like.
(
dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 12:54,
Reply)
Who do you think straight men talk to about such things?
Certainly isn't each other.
Blessed are the hetero's with a gay mate.
(
GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 12:58,
Reply)
far more than you
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 13:03,
Reply)
Straight men don't like ginger haired, morbidly obese cetaceans with halitosis and a shrill, northern whine.
Only bent paki millinery victims and Fokestone depressives would stoop so low.
(
dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 13:08,
Reply)
she ent shrill tho bruv, sounds like a man innit
(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 13:13,
Reply)
which explains the massive hands and hairy toes
(
dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 13:16,
Reply)
you'd love a pic of them feet you massive pervert
(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 13:19,
Reply)
nah, I only like small, cute feet with painted toenails.
Not massive ones, with hairy toeknuckles.
(
dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 13:21,
Reply)
You have over complicated the issue
Men like women who will occasionally touch their winkys
(
Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 13:02,
Reply)
^
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 13:03,
Reply)
Or even imply
that there might be some winky touching in the future
(
Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 13:08,
Reply)
Hey! Look everyone! It’s Internet Nonce™. Hi Internet Nonce™ !!
(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 12:14,
Reply)
And a happy New Year to all.
(
Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 12:16,
Reply)
alright
I just had my 'kitchen floor' screeded by a man.
I'd award the Nobel prize for prickery to Battered.
Also, favourite pizza topping is margharita.
(
dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 12:12,
Reply)
Find that a bit bland.
Also the pizza.
(
DBT became a fruitarian on, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 12:17,
Reply)
Why 'kitchen floor'
(
GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 12:19,
Reply)
It's a 'euphemism'
(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 12:21,
Reply)
*waggles cigar*
(
GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 12:27,
Reply)
because I'm having new vinyl flooring put down tomorrow.
(
dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 12:28,
Reply)
Yeah, but what colour?
(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 12:29,
Reply)
mirror
(
dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 12:29,
Reply)
KEWL post pics plz thx
(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 12:30,
Reply)
I also have a camouflage ceiling
(
dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 12:31,
Reply)
You must have added some serious value to that property
(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 12:33,
Reply)
I ripped out the mosaic tile floor and put down camouflage laminate
(
dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 12:36,
Reply)
I'm going to rip out all my original period fireplaces and replace them with stick on the wall jobs from B&Q cos I'm classy and know what sells
(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 12:38,
Reply)
I'm going to rip out the ceiling rose and cornicing and get the ceiling skimmed nice and smooth.
(
dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 12:40,
Reply)
NO!
Get that nice stippled effect artex - or even better, the one where it all looks like seashells or summat.
(
Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 12:43,
Reply)
Scalloped m8, that's where it's at
(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 12:45,
Reply)
NOW you're talking!
A few Athena-style posters and an electric 'real fire effect' heater and it'll be a paradise.
(
Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 12:47,
Reply)
I'm replacing all my oak doors with mdf ones from magnet, they look soooo much better
(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 12:44,
Reply)
I need 6 new doors
:o(
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 12:45,
Reply)
go for quality, none of this 'solid' wood nonsence, bit old fashioned innit
(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 12:46,
Reply)
I would get traditional solid oak doors
then cover them up with mdf, best of both worlds
(
Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 13:03,
Reply)
My mate just bought a place with a fully functioning yorkist stove
and he's ripping it out. Bastard.
(
Peej, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 13:04,
Reply)
Your mate is a heathen
with no taste
HTH's
(
Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 13:07,
Reply)
I wish I had somewhere for it
(
Peej, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 13:08,
Reply)
Build a special shed for it
(
Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 13:10,
Reply)
Hmmmm
Now thats an idea.
(
Peej, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 13:16,
Reply)
WHAT A PRICK
(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 13:08,
Reply)
I am glad you liked my gaz
(
Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 13:10,
Reply)
ordering a steve davis pizza is a dumpable offence
all that variety in the world, and you pick the vanilla of pizzas...
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 12:20,
Reply)
it's a classic
Perhaps add capers and gorgonzola.
(
dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 12:29,
Reply)
but then it's not a margarita
you moron
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 12:29,
Reply)
What if he ordered a Neapolitan?
(
Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 12:30,
Reply)
to be fair, it's dozer
so I wouldn't turn up anyway.
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 12:31,
Reply)
I'd give Gonz a medal for services to spelling and the English language
Alt: Meat, then more meat followed by meat.
Altalt: A guitar
The week's panning out nicely except for the visit to Anglesey tomorrow. More paperwork on Thursday and a car service on Friday. Rock and/or roll!
(
Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 12:13,
Reply)
WOAH! Slow down there Placid, before you hurt yourself!
January is a bollocks month really.
(
GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 12:20,
Reply)
Not for me! I'm going to a hotel for a night of dirty sex next Friday!
(
Peej, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 12:27,
Reply)
Wanking while crying alone in a hotel room
doesn't count
(
Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 12:32,
Reply)
If you sit in your own excrement while doing it
it's still technically dirty.
(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 12:33,
Reply)
I think you will find it fucking does if you buy champagne!
(
Peej, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 12:36,
Reply)
And I'm going round to give your missus a proper seeing to whilst you're away.
(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 12:32,
Reply)
Not likely
I've hidden the stepladder out of your reach
(
Peej, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 12:36,
Reply)
\o/
Well, that's every weekend for me so still need something to break up the month. Not in a hotel mind. That would be a fucking expensive relationship.
I'm off to Ireland in a couple weeks to see some drag queens.
Not for sex, mind!
(
GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 12:37,
Reply)
Gays can't have sex
Sex requires a penis and a vagina. You gays just wank each other off with your arseholes. Whats next? People will start claiming getting sucked off by Swipey counts as sex.
(
Peej, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 12:42,
Reply)
10/10
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 12:42,
Reply)
especially for "wank each other off with your arseholes"
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 12:45,
Reply)
You wouldn't claim sticking your dick in your fleshlight counts as sex would you Sporters?
(
Peej, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 12:46,
Reply)
errrrr.........
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 12:47,
Reply)
Tell that to your lass when you ride up the dirt track.
"sorry, love. Doesn't count"
(
GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 12:47,
Reply)
Normal people don't do that Jason.
(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 12:50,
Reply)
^ SCREEN GRABS ^
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 12:51,
Reply)
Ha!
Sorryboutit
(
GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 12:52,
Reply)
I ent normal fanks
(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 12:52,
Reply)
Doesn't count as sex, same as a blowob doesn't.
(
Peej, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 12:56,
Reply)
The Clinton defense
executed to perfection
(
Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 13:05,
Reply)
people who are lucky enough to have had that experience
the rest of you can only dream
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 12:51,
Reply)
I didn't even have to take you for pizza first!
(
Peej, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 12:56,
Reply)
'January is a bollocks month'
You're right there. Compared to the manic rush by companies to spend considerable amounts of money* in December before the Xmas budget goblins stole it - January is going to draaaaaaaaag.
*Half of my yearly target in one month. WTF?
(
Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 12:28,
Reply)
Consumerism gets us through the dark months.
(
GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 12:37,
Reply)
Gonz - Fixin' Inglich; as best he can.
(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 12:45,
Reply)
WHY IS NOBODY ASKING WHICH GUITAR I BOUGHT!!!!!
(
Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 12:48,
Reply)
Because it will be an obscure brand that nobody has heard of.
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 12:51,
Reply)
Also, no one cares
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 12:51,
Reply)
That might be true on both counts but I'll tell you anyway
I got an Alvarez AV2 Baritone - designed by John Veillette. It's a thing of beauty.
(
Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 12:53,
Reply)

(
Peej, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 12:57,
Reply)
No one currr
(
GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 12:51,
Reply)
Just letting you know that I also don't care
(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 12:51,
Reply)
cheese and tomato
(
Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 12:14,
Reply)
The equivalent of a bread sandwich
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 12:42,
Reply)
Cor, now I really fancy a bread sandwich
(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 12:46,
Reply)
Me too
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 12:47,
Reply)
Just as well it's nearly lunchtime.
Did you know that a toast sandwich is supposed to taste like fried bread?
(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 12:50,
Reply)
Good afternoon GJ
I'd give Monty Boyce the "Reginald Perrin" award
Alt:
Chicken, mushroom, red onion, peppers, jellypenos
AltAlt:
Probably covers for tablets
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 12:40,
Reply)
No wait....
A holiday
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 12:40,
Reply)
Where you off? You've probably said before bt I'm a skim reader.
(
GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 12:51,
Reply)
Tenerife in April
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 13:07,
Reply)
haha!
Tenerife is common as muck.
(
dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 13:08,
Reply)
Off to a place near Los Gigantes
Much nicer than Los Christianos/Las Americas
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 13:12,
Reply)
still pretty council tho, innit?
(
dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 13:14,
Reply)
Not at all, no
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 13:18,
Reply)
^ irony check, aisle 5 please ^
it's like anywhere else. some nice bits, some chavvy bits.
well, except Scotland. that doesn't have any nice bits.
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 13:14,
Reply)
No, Edinburgh is an eyesore. You're right.
(
dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 13:14,
Reply)
^ Brit abroad ^
Make sure you find somewhere that does a full English in the morning and a pub for sunday lunch
(
Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 13:09,
Reply)
Brit and Irish bars all the way!
None of that forrin muck, and keep your shellfish to yourself, thanks!
(
GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 13:10,
Reply)
2 lagers please Pedro
I SAID 2 LAGERS... FOR FUCK SAKE DONT YOU UNDERSTAND ENGLISH.
(
Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 13:14,
Reply)
^this^
All inclusive = free bar
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 13:19,
Reply)
Have a grand time!
Ignore these snobs!
(
GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 13:11,
Reply)
Thanks man
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 13:14,
Reply)
I think David Cameron has quite nice hair.
It looks like it has it's own personality.
(
wanderlust, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 13:06,
Reply)
Unlike him
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 13:07,
Reply)
I think his hair is actually in charge.
(
wanderlust, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 13:09,
Reply)
HELLO!!!!!!!!!!
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 13:08,
Reply)
Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(
wanderlust, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 13:09,
Reply)
i miss you!!
hope you had a lovely Christmas and didn't have to work new year, or that it was fun if you did x
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 13:14,
Reply)
I finished work at 9.30am new years day.
It was disgusting.
(
wanderlust, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 13:17,
Reply)
It's lank, floppy and receding.
and so is his hair!!!!!1111!!!!1ONE!!
(
GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 13:11,
Reply)
Were you making a penis joke?
(
wanderlust, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 13:13,
Reply)
also, a metaphor for his career!
BAM!
(
GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 13:16,
Reply)
I bet he was moping around Chequers all Christmas wishing he was in a flat in Manchester, taking a hard earned break from his career in the call centre.
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 13:18,
Reply)
clickin dis
(
dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 13:19,
Reply)
^
(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 13:20,
Reply)
I will not be dictated to by someone who lives in a sack cloth hut!!
Go bang your skin drum somewhere else, hippy.
(
GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 13:22,
Reply)
i take a picture of him with me when i go to the barbers
no cos i want his hair, i just like the picture
(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 13:11,
Reply)
get it screen printed on the inside of your pants
(
drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 13:12,
Reply)
as well as the outside? THATS MENTAL UR MENTAL
(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 13:14,
Reply)
get white pants then you don't need to print outside, it'll show through every time it gets wet
(
drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 13:18,
Reply)
buy new white pants just to print the PMs pic on?
SEE? I SAID U WOZ MENTAL
(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 13:22,
Reply)
cheaper than a duvet cover, though
(
drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 13:23,
Reply)
Oi oi.
(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 13:16,
Reply)
alright mush
(
wanderlust, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 13:17,
Reply)
Good ta. You?
(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 13:19,
Reply)
yeah alright.
On the job hunt, got a meeting with a hospitality recruiter tomorrow.
Hopefully something decent will come of it.
(
wanderlust, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 13:31,
Reply)
Did you prefer the left parting or the right parting
(
Peej, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 13:19,
Reply)
slightly to the right.
(
wanderlust, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 13:32,
Reply)
The Sing by Bill Callaghan is without question the best song of last year
Message ends.
/achinglybeautiful
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 13:14,
Reply)
Is it?
THAT WAS A QUESTION, SO IT ISN'T 'WITHOUT QUESTION' YOU MORON
(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 13:15,
Reply)
NO YOUN ARE
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 13:16,
Reply)
AS IF!!!! YOURN THA BIGEST LOOSER ON HERE MATE
(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 13:18,
Reply)
did you get that Palace album?
(
dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 13:18,
Reply)
Not yet, you and tangles confused me with which one to get
I don't know which music snob i should side with
(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 13:21,
Reply)
for Palace, start with Lost Blues. Slint play on a few of the tracks.
For Bonnie 'Prince' Billy, start with I See a Darkness.
(
dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 13:23,
Reply)
Are you trying to push him back onto the SSRIs?
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 13:26,
Reply)
aren't we all?
(
dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 13:30,
Reply)
Cyber bullies :'(
(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 13:33,
Reply)
Listen to 'I Could Live in Hope' by Low, then 'Closer' by Joy Division.
Those will cheer you right up.
(
dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 13:35,
Reply)
^ Someone has forgotten One Directions "one way or another" ^
(
Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 13:23,
Reply)
genuine officelol
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 13:24,
Reply)
I heard a One Direction song for the first time a few weeks ago.
True story.
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 13:27,
Reply)
Well this is nice.
Dipping cold pizza into lentil soup works. It's like baby food for adults.
(
Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 13:26,
Reply)
I just won laser eye surgery but I don't need glasses or contacts.
(
dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 13:30,
Reply)
Well done!
Can you give it away, or sell it on?
(
GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 13:35,
Reply)
No.
(
dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 13:35,
Reply)
Maybe they will give you Xray vision then?
(
Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 13:35,
Reply)
hopefully
Then I can sterilise men just by ogling their balls.
(
dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 13:36,
Reply)
Donate it to a charity.
(
Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 13:36,
Reply)
RNIB ?
(
Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 13:37,
Reply)
you should have it anyway, make sure one less girl has it
it might increase your chances of losing your V-plates
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 13:38,
Reply)
you're a bit obsessed with my sex life
Why is that?
(
dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 13:40,
Reply)
i feel sorry for the hamster
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 13:42,
Reply)
again, your peculiar obsession with gerbilling comes to the fore
Is that how you got your kicks with Pakihat?
(
dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 13:46,
Reply)
maybe he shit the bed at the touch of the first claw
(
katie hopkins telling it where its at, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 13:46,
Reply)
^^upset
(
katie hopkins telling it where its at, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 13:42,
Reply)
she just sounds a bit bitter.
Bitter biffer.
(
dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 13:43,
Reply)
You should put a hat on now you've resurfaced from being firmly up rory's arse again or you'll get cold.
I was wondering why he doesn't give you much shit, and it seems it's because you've turned into a right little brown 'nozer'
(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 13:47,
Reply)
^ upset
(
dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 13:48,
Reply)
I thought you were *my* friend :'('''''''''''''''''''''''''''
(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 13:50,
Reply)
According to your current Mrs, I have no friends.
(
dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 13:50,
Reply)
you don't
(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 13:52,
Reply)
Fungus is my friend.
(
dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 13:53,
Reply)
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