One annoyance is those fucks who self diagnose. See earlier comment re man-flu.
Tell me the symptoms, let me do an examination and I'll tell you what's fucking up. Please don't consuly wikipedia, mumsnet or any of the other bollocks.
(DBT became a fruitarian on, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 12:14, 5 replies, latest was 11 years ago)

Yeah, only the harriden on your reception won't give me a fucking appointment

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 12:15, Reply)

Our reception are lovely.
It's the patients that are cocks.
(DBT became a fruitarian on, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 12:20, Reply)

I once told the harridan, in great detail how my balls were all swollen up.
That got me a fucking appointment.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 12:48, Reply)

I checked the NHS website and I have all the symptoms of laryngitis.
So there!
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 12:16, Reply)

well this makes sense

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 12:16, Reply)

How's your self diagnosed cancer Gill?

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 12:17, Reply)

you're going to feel awfully bad when that turns out to be true

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 12:19, Reply)

bad

happy
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 12:20, Reply)

nah, i haven't made a will yet
he needs me to hang on there until I do
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 12:23, Reply)

Cool what do I get? Can I have the one direction toothpaste?

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 12:26, Reply)

man, they'd better have stopped that sponsorship when i buy a new one
it caused havoc on the ski trip :(
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 12:26, Reply)

It already didn't, you ginger prick.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 12:21, Reply)

THEY MIGHT HAVE MISSED SOMETHING

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 12:24, Reply)

I am guilty of this, but it's because I'm a mild hypochondriac.

( Kroney, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 12:16, Reply)

i once strained my thumb
from holding the phone for too long when I had a long distance bf.

I diagnosed that - can't remember the name now - and the dr was very impressed. you make me think he might have been faking it :(
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 12:16, Reply)

Yeah holding the phone...
thrumming the banjo more like
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 12:23, Reply)

isn't that what people do in long distance relationships?

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 12:23, Reply)

banjolele for me
Like a banjo ,But smaller :(,
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 12:27, Reply)

Its further away

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 12:28, Reply)

I hate all these pussies who go to the doctors in real life when there are perfectly good ones available on internet forums.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 12:18, Reply)

It's the bum fingerings they see me for.

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 12:21, Reply)

I do that myself.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 12:22, Reply)

As your internet doctor, I must advise against that.Do you use gloves?

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 12:24, Reply)

Not on myself, only on other people

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 12:25, Reply)

Rachel did say your nails were a bit sharp.

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 12:27, Reply)