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Are you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.
(
rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Jobs
Do you like your job? Is it well paid for what you do?
What is your ideal/worst job?
Pick a job for a b3tan
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 10:28,
229 replies,
latest was 11 years ago)
Oh, hi Sportscow, Frog here.
I like who I work for, and the people I work with a lot, but the actual job is a bit boring now. The pay is alright, I could do with something a little more taxing now I have pretty much achieved what I wanted to do here.
I think I shall have a change of direction and possibly re-train in the next couple of years.
(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 10:33,
Reply)
Good morrow sir
This job works for me now. I can fit it in around child arrangements and such like but Mrs Cow is after a new job now
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 10:39,
Reply)
My trouble is I now don't have quite enough to do, and that can be tedious.
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 10:46,
Reply)
Any online learning/training you could do?
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 10:46,
Reply)
Oh probably, I have been having a look but I am undecided what I'd like to do. No rush though, I am a young man with my whole life ahead of me.
(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 10:47,
Reply)
I guess
I just came in here to stop watching that footballer getting his ear flicked. Hypnotic stuff, I'm not going back out there sportscow you can't make me!
Cotton picking for the lot of you uppity negroes.
(
Xav loves PhillieJoe, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 10:34,
Reply)
*there there*
Stay in the nice safe b3ta place
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 10:44,
Reply)
The thetans are strong in this one
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Xav loves PhillieJoe, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 11:03,
Reply)
I like my job.
It was made for a person like me.
I'd like to be a copper though. It'd be like The Sweeney.
(
Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 10:39,
Reply)
I see you more as Sher(cow)lick
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 10:40,
Reply)
What with the hrohraine and that
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 10:40,
Reply)
a copper?
you'd be constantly arresting yourself
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 10:43,
Reply)
...and that's just for the body cavity searches
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 10:45,
Reply)
Alright Swipers, have you thought about getting one of these?
Might help you cut down on all those appallingly misjudged liasons.
www.buzzfeed.com/rachelzarrell/this-bra-that-only-unhooks-for-true-love-is-basically-a-chas
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Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 10:49,
Reply)
they'd just push it up out of the way
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rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 10:50,
Reply)
I like how the metrics that opening would be exactly the same between 'love' and, erm, err, stress; such as, erm, err.... holding a knife.
(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 11:01,
Reply)
TRAINEE RAPIST^^
(
Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 11:04,
Reply)
Oh god no, I wouldn't ever do that, I don't even like to decide where we go for dinner, i'm just so gosh-darn greatfull.
Let alone having to decide between kitchen knives and what prescription drugs I'd need.
(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 11:07,
Reply)
I like my job and yes.
worst job: butcher. best job: benedict cumberbatch's cheekbone polisher.
bartleby - pre-school teacher
monty - pharmacist
stunned - lollipop lady
dozer - airport security
sportscow - therapist
battered - garden gnome
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rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 10:42,
Reply)
the
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 10:44,
Reply)
there was a space in there
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 10:44,
Reply)
THE rapist, please
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 10:44,
Reply)
Don't mix business and pleasure.
(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 10:45,
Reply)
INORITE
Rape is SRS BZNS
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 10:45,
Reply)
Money to be made and women to be laid.
(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 10:46,
Reply)
My worst job was int the cab office, proper fucking scum, dangerous criminals and all that, £5/hour to boot. Taught me not to go back to that though.
I like my job as in what I do, but it's not really working in terms of where I do it, gonna hand my notice in any day now.
(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 10:45,
Reply)
I am hungover from Saturday.
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Kroney, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 10:53,
Reply)
Impressive
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 10:53,
Reply)
I ate my own bodyweight in Indian food on Saturday
It were well nom
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 10:54,
Reply)
It was a good night. Lots of booze, a hot girl and I nearly got in a fight! Like a real one, not the usual calling American teenagers a fag on Halo.*
*I'm saying here that I didn't get in a fight. I ran away, but in a manly way!
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Kroney, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 10:57,
Reply)
Leaving the doris to do the fighting for you?
(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 27 Jan 2014, 11:00,
Reply)
She's a terrier.
My primary weapon of wetting myself at people has become, if anything, even more ineffective as I've aged.
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Kroney, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 11:03,
Reply)
'e ain't wurf it, mate.
(
Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 11:02,
Reply)
He really wasn't. Our disagreement occured because he was bullying a pensioner.
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Kroney, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 11:03,
Reply)
Nice. Sounds like a right charver.
You always get one though.
(
Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 11:05,
Reply)
He called me a pussy, Stunned :(
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Kroney, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 11:06,
Reply)
Nothing wrong with his eyesight, then.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 27 Jan 2014, 11:08,
Reply)
Yeah but there's no need to go around pointing it out.
That's just rude.
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Kroney, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 11:09,
Reply)
He may have been worth it.
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Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 11:10,
Reply)
Yeah, well, it was on Tot Court road and he was calling me names from inside his car.
He didn't seem to appreciate the irony in calling me what he did from his current location and after trying to intimidate a seventy year old woman, so I left him to it.
Plus he had a big mate.
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Kroney, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 11:13,
Reply)
I see. Road rage.
You dealt with it right. Had you gone up to the car or damaged the car you would have been knicked first so you got that spot on. Trick in those situations is to take a picture of the registration and start shouting for a policeman.
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Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 11:15,
Reply)
I love my job. It's actually the first job I've ever had that I can honestly say that about.
The pay is shit, because I work for a supermarket chain, but the working conditions and job satisfaction make up for that. Plus, I'm learning loads. And, you know, free access to drugs and that.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 27 Jan 2014, 11:00,
Reply)
Yeah probably.
I guess, like most people, I'd like to be paid a little more to do a little less.
Ideally I'd like to not have to work for a living.
Most b3tans seem pretty unemployable to me.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 11:00,
Reply)
Don't mind my job at all. I work from home these days and it's well paid.
Ideal job - TV cricket pundit. Spending 4 months in Oz on the piss would probably work quite well for me.
Worst job - anything involving dealing with the public on a daily basis. The cunts.
Rory - Samaritans helpline.
(
Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Mon 27 Jan 2014, 11:01,
Reply)
The public are unremittingly thick and annoying.
It is a source of great frustration to me that I'm particularly gifted at customer service, because it means I have to deal with them on a daily basis.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 27 Jan 2014, 11:07,
Reply)
Ill ones are even worse and all
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 11:10,
Reply)
Believe it or not, so am I.
It's my natural charm you see.
Mums love me also.
(
Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 11:11,
Reply)
The thing is I think I would probably be quite good at it
But I would just worry that I'd have a complete meltdown with one particularly awkward customer and end up doing the full Shipman.
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Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Mon 27 Jan 2014, 11:22,
Reply)
I work to live, and it pays enough for me to pay my bills and pursue the things I actually enjoy. I think that's an OK deal.
I like the company of the people I work with; the job itself is faceless and grey, but it does mean that when I close the door in the evening I leave it there.
My mate's a lawyer. He once called me at 6pm on a Friday night just for a chat - he was in the office and was going to be so for another three hours. That sounded bad, but then he was already on at least twice my wage, and will be able to retire at around 50.
The more you're paid, the shorter your strings, unless you own the company.
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Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 11:06,
Reply)
I got no strings to hold me up, to tie me down etc.
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Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 11:17,
Reply)
Worst sub ever.
(
Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 11:47,
Reply)
Yeah I do enjoy it. Warm office, sitting down, no heavy lifting and pl enty of anal fingerings
Pay's pretty good. Occasionally long hours, 12 today.
I was shortlisted to get a job on a cruise liner, that would have been the bollocks. Travel, and fuck all to do.
I'd suggest that twat Rory as a relationship counsellor.
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DBT became a fruitarian on, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 11:17,
Reply)
my job is a bit conservative sometimes, however
today I am wearing a knee length black pencil skirt, black tights, black shoes and a plain black top. the only bit that has anything about it are two very small black leather patches on the shoulders. which are mostly covered by my hair (because it's down, not because I have shoulder hair).
and I've already been asked by a partner if I am "going to a rock party."
I mean.... REALLY???????
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 11:30,
Reply)
Unlikely given you have the musical taste of the gayest man in the western homosphere.
(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 11:32,
Reply)
Describing your clothing in detail,
could get you a good gig on a sex
Line.
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DBT became a fruitarian on, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 11:37,
Reply)
oh yeah baby
my skirt is well below the knee line and check out these 60 denier tights...
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 11:38,
Reply)
*sweats*
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DBT became a fruitarian on, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 11:41,
Reply)
My worst job would be being made to work in a supermarket
AND EVERYTIME I GO IN ONE THERE IS NO ONE ON THE TILLS AND I AM FORCED TO SCAN AND BAG MY OWN GROCERIES.
*expects items in bagging area*
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Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 11:44,
Reply)
i like playing with those till things
although I was cross in m&s when I spent about £100 and the officious little cunt behind me snapped at me for not paying 0.2p for the one carrier bag I had taken as well as my bags for life.
urgh.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 11:46,
Reply)
It encourages thieving. So I oblige them.
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Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 11:59,
Reply)
Haha.
They try to encourage me to use the self service till in my local Asda, but I simply ask for one at a reasonable height, not designed for dwarves.
(
Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 11:47,
Reply)
I threw 2 pints of milk at one when it was acting up (till not dwarf)
The carton exploded and I made a hasty exit. Haven't been back since.
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Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 12:00,
Reply)
You told them it was "milk".
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Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 12:02,
Reply)
I quite like what I do. The best bit is having the flexibility to spend time with my daughter.
Worst job must be working as a bin man, particularly in hot weather.
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 11:46,
Reply)
i reckon an abattoir would be far worse than being a bin man
see also being a "shit shoveller" and scraping pigeon shit off rooftops
see also being the guy who had to wipe abu hamza's arse
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rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 11:48,
Reply)
Ah, when you're wiping Hamza's ringpiece you are doing Allah a great service.
(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 11:49,
Reply)
RIMFIDEL
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 11:50,
Reply)
Hahaha
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 11:51,
Reply)
lol!
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Xav loves PhillieJoe, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 11:52,
Reply)
imagine how hairy it would be
urrrrrrgh
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rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 11:51,
Reply)
I hope one day he has an itchy arse and forgets when scratchng it
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 11:52,
Reply)
He forgot about not scratching his eye.
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Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 11:54,
Reply)
One of my mates jobs for a while was to fly this fucking great hawk off towerblocks to scare the gulls away.
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Slippery Mick ‏, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 11:52,
Reply)
i've seen them doing that in uxbridge
poor pigeons.
the funniest thing I've seen in a long time was two guys trying to frighten away seagulls on top of a tower block in the city with two enormous clapper things. we were on the neighbouring roof terrace and killing ourselves laughing - the seagulls bloody LOVED those clappers, they were attracting them like magnets
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rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 11:56,
Reply)
My Dad always quite wanted to be either a binman or a postman
Fucking nutjob that he is
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 11:50,
Reply)
i used to help my friend deliver a newspaper every week
the dogs were fucking vicious. why do that every morning??
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rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 11:51,
Reply)
Maybe you need the money cos you don't have loaded parents and it's the only job you can do at 13
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 11:53,
Reply)
i don't think they have 13 year old postmen...
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rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 11:54,
Reply)
Postmen don't deliver newspapers. You're so out of touch.
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 11:55,
Reply)
Fuck that shit
So the wife's present arrived a day late but she didn't kill me in the face with a tome so all is well and I am not RIP4EVAINRHARTSWIVDAANGLES! I put a pic on the facebook for the internet pervs to look at. Battered posted a one word comment saying "would" but I don't think she would do Battered, I haven't asked or anything mind, I just think she'd feel that he was too good for her and that she wouldn't deserve him.
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Peej, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 11:53,
Reply)
It were well odd that dress
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 11:53,
Reply)
Also:
would
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 11:54,
Reply)
Also:
Have
(
Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 11:59,
Reply)
Also:
A+++++ Would do business with again.
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Peej, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 12:03,
Reply)
Swift delivery
great packaging
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Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 12:06,
Reply)
I meant I would wear the dress.
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 11:54,
Reply)
officelol
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 11:54,
Reply)
HAWT
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rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 11:54,
Reply)
Way to long for you mate
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Peej, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 11:57,
Reply)
My job's alright
Sent them a message I was working from home this morning because I was waiting on a parcel delivery. It turned up at 8:45 so I probably could have gone in. On the other hand, lounging around in sweatpants with the telly on.
(
The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 11:58,
Reply)
it nk
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rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 11:59,
Reply)
1st class delivery
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 12:00,
Reply)
Only once it had come
I'm a gentleman
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The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 12:03,
Reply)
Yes, no, breast inspector/peep show floor cleaner
Noose tester, for the lot of you.
(
Peej, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 12:01,
Reply)
Did you see the blacklight photos from the closed down "adult cinema"
*bokes*
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Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 12:05,
Reply)
what be this?
I did see the footage of the guy caught farting on an infrared camera at the airport. gross.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 12:07,
Reply)
There was a porn cinema
I think in USA or Canada that closed down recently, someone went in with a UV light and took photos to show the amount of *ahem* gentleman's relish that had been left on the floor (walls, backs of seats etc.)
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Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 12:11,
Reply)
Something something something blacklight
something something YM's face.
(
Peej, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 12:12,
Reply)
*Fills in blanks*
*Is disgusted*
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Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 12:23,
Reply)
I dont mind my job
Which is about as good as it gets as I would rather not have to work.
(
Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 12:04,
Reply)
Alright sporto,
It's pretty good, the money ain't great, but then, it's not worse than before so that's fine. Gets a little dull, but I get to see a lot of interstitial places and occasionally meet some new people. I'm pretty happy
(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 27 Jan 2014, 12:06,
Reply)
Money is never great
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 12:07,
Reply)
Exactly, I make enough for what I enjoy.
Although, I just blew a large wad on an engagement ring, which hurt. Stupid women.
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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 27 Jan 2014, 12:09,
Reply)
\o/
Congratulations
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 12:10,
Reply)
Hold on, it's not arrived yet, not have I asked her.
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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 27 Jan 2014, 12:14,
Reply)
She could still say no
*keeps fingers crossed*
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Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 12:25,
Reply)
What a way for me to find out :(
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 12:10,
Reply)
I just blew a large wad on YM
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 12:11,
Reply)
We've been married for years in my heart.
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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 27 Jan 2014, 12:16,
Reply)
<3
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 12:18,
Reply)
Dude. Gay.
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Kroney, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 12:19,
Reply)
you might want to clean it off before giving it to her
but congratulations other than that
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rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 12:10,
Reply)
HA HA YOU MUG
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 12:11,
Reply)
22.5
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 12:13,
Reply)
3
(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 12:13,
Reply)
Oh man, I love pie
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 12:18,
Reply)
I had a burger so big yesterday I had to cut it in half to manage it.
(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 12:19,
Reply)
burgergirlfriend
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 12:21,
Reply)
HAHA!
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 12:22,
Reply)
HE'S JUST JEALOUS
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rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 12:24,
Reply)
10/10
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 12:27,
Reply)
burger flat
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 12:27,
Reply)
HAHA! for the 2nd time
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 12:28,
Reply)
officelol
(
localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 12:28,
Reply)
+ ginger fur
(
localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 12:28,
Reply)
That's me.
(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 27 Jan 2014, 12:16,
Reply)
Not really obviously, well done and good luck from all of us in Folkestone
(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 12:19,
Reply)
Congratulations, Windy :)
(
Kroney, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 12:13,
Reply)
Wait. Need to see what she says first.
(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 27 Jan 2014, 12:15,
Reply)
Wait, you mean this was your idea?
She didn't bully you into it?
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 12:16,
Reply)
Nope, we sort of talked about it one night when we we shit faced, so I'm pretty confident.
(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 27 Jan 2014, 12:24,
Reply)
Best of luck!
(
The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 12:34,
Reply)
Congratulations.
I sincerely hope your marriage lasts longer than mine did.
(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 12:14,
Reply)
It's not even started yet, I can still seriously out tragic love life you.
(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 27 Jan 2014, 12:15,
Reply)
interstitial is a good word
(
dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 12:11,
Reply)
One annoyance is those fucks who self diagnose. See earlier comment re man-flu.
Tell me the symptoms, let me do an examination and I'll tell you what's fucking up. Please don't consuly wikipedia, mumsnet or any of the other bollocks.
(
DBT became a fruitarian on, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 12:14,
Reply)
Yeah, only the harriden on your reception won't give me a fucking appointment
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 12:15,
Reply)
Our reception are lovely.
It's the patients that are cocks.
(
DBT became a fruitarian on, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 12:20,
Reply)
I once told the harridan, in great detail how my balls were all swollen up.
That got me a fucking appointment.
(
Slippery Mick ‏, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 12:48,
Reply)
I checked the NHS website and I have all the symptoms of laryngitis.
So there!
(
dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 12:16,
Reply)
well this makes sense
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 12:16,
Reply)
How's your self diagnosed cancer Gill?
(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 12:17,
Reply)
you're going to feel awfully bad when that turns out to be true
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 12:19,
Reply)
badhappy
(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 12:20,
Reply)
nah, i haven't made a will yet
he needs me to hang on there until I do
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 12:23,
Reply)
Cool what do I get? Can I have the one direction toothpaste?
(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 12:26,
Reply)
man, they'd better have stopped that sponsorship when i buy a new one
it caused havoc on the ski trip :(
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 12:26,
Reply)
It already didn't, you ginger prick.
(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 12:21,
Reply)
THEY MIGHT HAVE MISSED SOMETHING
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 12:24,
Reply)
I am guilty of this, but it's because I'm a mild hypochondriac.
(
Kroney, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 12:16,
Reply)
i once strained my thumb
from holding the phone for too long when I had a long distance bf.
I diagnosed that - can't remember the name now - and the dr was very impressed. you make me think he might have been faking it :(
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 12:16,
Reply)
Yeah holding the phone...
thrumming the banjo more like
(
Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 12:23,
Reply)
isn't that what people do in long distance relationships?
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 12:23,
Reply)
banjolele for me
Like a banjo ,But smaller :(,
(
Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 12:27,
Reply)
Its further away
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 12:28,
Reply)
I hate all these pussies who go to the doctors in real life when there are perfectly good ones available on internet forums.
(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 12:18,
Reply)
It's the bum fingerings they see me for.
(
DBT became a fruitarian on, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 12:21,
Reply)
I do that myself.
(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 12:22,
Reply)
As your internet doctor, I must advise against that.Do you use gloves?
(
DBT became a fruitarian on, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 12:24,
Reply)
Not on myself, only on other people
(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 12:25,
Reply)
Rachel did say your nails were a bit sharp.
(
DBT became a fruitarian on, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 12:27,
Reply)
Hey Sporters old chap.
In the 9 years, 3 months and 28 days I've been here I've not fucked anyone from B3ta. Not unless you count the nosh job off Swipe.
Hope this clears up any BGB confusion.
Also
from B3ta
(
Peej, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 12:19,
Reply)
Can we have Rory verify this please?
(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 12:20,
Reply)
I was rather confused there
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 12:29,
Reply)
Perhaps there should be roll call of those who haven't had sex with BGB.
(
Kroney, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 12:31,
Reply)
I'm fairly sure I haven't fucked anyone from on here
Apart from Monty
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 12:32,
Reply)
Fairly sure?
But not entirely confident?
(
Kroney, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 12:33,
Reply)
Could have been in there by accident
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 12:36,
Reply)
It was the shame that drove him away.
(
Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 12:33,
Reply)
I wouldn't get involved in a discussion over shameful sex if I were you, Barters.
(
Kroney, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 12:35,
Reply)
I have to fight through this meme.
(
Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 12:36,
Reply)
memehymen
(
Kroney, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 12:37,
Reply)
Not quite sure where this meme started
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 12:37,
Reply)
Well - when a B3tan and another B3tan love each other very much ...
(
Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 12:38,
Reply)
Ahhhhh
*titgazzes*
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 12:39,
Reply)
That hasn't arrived in my inbox yet.
:(
(
Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 12:41,
Reply)
I have 2nd class tits
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 12:42,
Reply)
I'll be the judge of that.
(
Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 12:46,
Reply)
(o)(o)
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 12:47,
Reply)
(.)(.)
Shirley?
(
Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 12:48,
Reply)
They match my cock
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 12:50,
Reply)
(.)'(.)
(
Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 12:57,
Reply)
Mine have to go by ParcelForce.
(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 27 Jan 2014, 12:47,
Reply)
mnnnng......keep.......going.....
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 12:47,
Reply)
He once gave the lower age range for female celebrities he'd like to do a sex on as 15 and a half
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 12:42,
Reply)
That Jonny Briggs is a sexy cunt though
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 12:43,
Reply)
It seemed a reasonable thing to say at the time.
How wrong I was though.
(
Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 12:49,
Reply)
Who were you trying to catch in that range?
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 12:50,
Reply)
I was just casting the net wide.
I think I gave an upper limit too, which was realistically high.
(
Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 12:51,
Reply)
Here you go
b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1848474
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 12:52,
Reply)
Thanks, I'll treasure it like a millstone round my neck.
(
Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 12:53,
Reply)
\o
To be fair, I have shagged one b3tan, but only inasmuch as I made an account for mr b3th.
(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 27 Jan 2014, 12:40,
Reply)
Nice to see he uses it so much
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 12:41,
Reply)
I'd say that he doesn't fully understand the magic glowing internet box,
except he's got form for trawling for internet babez
(
Kroney, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 12:44,
Reply)
trufax
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 12:44,
Reply)
For an old git, he's particularly tech savvy.
Comes from being an engineer, I suppose. He used to write programs for the old BBC back in the 80s, and these days he designs Excel spreadsheets to do wonderful exciting things.
It keeps him happy, and off the streets.
(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 27 Jan 2014, 12:50,
Reply)
I may need his help then
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 12:50,
Reply)
What do you need?
Something shed-based? A program to keep track of your grot catalogue?
(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 27 Jan 2014, 12:52,
Reply)
Just a finance spreadsheet.
Got an annoying "bit" where I want it to work out moneys remaining depending on the day and when we get paid, etc.
Damn SUMIFS! *shakes fist ineffectually*
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 12:56,
Reply)
Send us a gaz
and I'll ask him.
If only Chompy were still here, eh?
(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 27 Jan 2014, 13:01,
Reply)
I am happy with the price we paid.
(
Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 13:03,
Reply)
Done
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 13:04,
Reply)
Plus he managed to pick up a bird half his age.
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 12:52,
Reply)
Not a hot one, though.
(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 27 Jan 2014, 12:52,
Reply)
*grooms*
I'd say otherwise
*rubs crotch*
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 12:55,
Reply)
Well, I don't know what you look like, so I can't comment
But it is all relative, isn't it?
You're probably hotter than what is available in his age group.
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 12:59,
Reply)
Maaaaaaaybe.
(
Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 13:00,
Reply)
You would.
(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 27 Jan 2014, 13:01,
Reply)
That is in NO way an objective measurement.
(
Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 13:02,
Reply)
Livin' the dream
(
Kroney, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 12:54,
Reply)
Arthritis Cream
(
Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 12:55,
Reply)
300 club!
Who said this place was dying on it's arse?
(
Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 12:53,
Reply)
Mostly you.
(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 12:55,
Reply)
We used to have a laugh here, until stunned started going on about how we used to have a laugh here
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 12:56,
Reply)
We used to have a right laugh here until you started going on about how we used to have a laugh here, until stunned started going on about how we used to have a laugh here
(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 12:58,
Reply)
^
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 12:59,
Reply)
Oh man
We've entered some kind of hipster ironospheric conditions
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 12:58,
Reply)
I entered that years ago, before anyone had heard of it
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 12:59,
Reply)
ha!
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 13:00,
Reply)
And now you want to exit it?
Is the hipster ironosphere to commercial for you now?
(
Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 13:01,
Reply)
I hated hipsters before it was cool.
(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 27 Jan 2014, 13:02,
Reply)
Even a corpse twitches
(
Kroney, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 12:55,
Reply)
You'd know.
(
Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 12:56,
Reply)
It's all that laying gangbangers down I do.
Urban vigilante, innit.
(
Kroney, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 12:59,
Reply)
"laying gangbangers" sounds like a really painful shit
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 13:01,
Reply)
Bitches be twitchin'
(
Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 13:02,
Reply)
This thread is too long. I've started a new one.
(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 13:03,
Reply)
How appropriate.
(
Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 13:04,
Reply)
Cunt.
(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 13:05,
Reply)
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