:( I'm hungry now.
How are you all feeling?
Evening plans?

That's lovely.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 13 Feb 2014, 17:26, 77 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Better than yesterday, seated on the train home unlike last night which took 2.1/2 hours and I had to stand up.
Tonight I'm folding a piece of paper in half, drawing the worlds biggest carrot of the front and writing my name inside, then having cbeese on toast then going to sleep. So there.
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 13 Feb 2014, 17:31, Reply)

Swipe's one lucky lady and no mistake!

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 13 Feb 2014, 17:32, Reply)

What's it got to do with 'er?

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 13 Feb 2014, 17:33, Reply)

You not making her a carrot card?

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 13 Feb 2014, 17:38, Reply)

No,I just like drawing and practising my signature

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 13 Feb 2014, 17:40, Reply)

^wants to be a big boy :) ^

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Thu 13 Feb 2014, 17:46, Reply)

DO NOT WANT

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 13 Feb 2014, 17:50, Reply)

^petulant^

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Thu 13 Feb 2014, 17:51, Reply)

YOU CANT TELL ME WHAT TO DO YOU ARENT MY REAL DOCTOR

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 13 Feb 2014, 17:56, Reply)

Your real doctor is your father Luke.

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Thu 13 Feb 2014, 18:01, Reply)

My dad's called nick

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 13 Feb 2014, 18:01, Reply)

Luke, your real father is your doctor.

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Thu 13 Feb 2014, 18:02, Reply)

Nah, my dad is really my dad. He looks just like I do in the future.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 13 Feb 2014, 18:04, Reply)

I reckon we could have a good go on this
www.independent.co.uk/arts-entertainment/comedy/features/the-inaugural-uk-pun-championships-will-kick-off-tonight--its-punbelievable-that-weve-never-had-one-before-9124689.html
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 13 Feb 2014, 17:31, Reply)

Puns are shit.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 13 Feb 2014, 18:23, Reply)

:O

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 13 Feb 2014, 21:08, Reply)

this is why scots cannot be independent
they'll be bankrupt within a year:

www.express.co.uk/news/uk/459535/Mum-s-fury-after-council-WIPES-OUT-front-garden-to-install-40k-disabled-ramp-for-daughter
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 13 Feb 2014, 17:42, Reply)

Oh, just give it to them. If they want that tiny bit of land for their own, let them have it.
Good luck flogging that Monopoly money down here!
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 13 Feb 2014, 17:53, Reply)

I am at home with a glass of wine!
It ent even 6pm!
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 13 Feb 2014, 17:49, Reply)

alright

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 13 Feb 2014, 17:50, Reply)

I knew the jocks would be back.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 13 Feb 2014, 17:51, Reply)

och ye ken fit like eh

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 13 Feb 2014, 17:52, Reply)

If the Scots gain independence will you be an immigrant?

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 13 Feb 2014, 18:00, Reply)

no

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 13 Feb 2014, 18:06, Reply)

On here you will be.

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 13 Feb 2014, 18:12, Reply)

better immigrant than bender

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 13 Feb 2014, 18:16, Reply)

immigrant bender

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 13 Feb 2014, 18:16, Reply)

your weekend bumchum boyfriend is bumming around behind your back

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 13 Feb 2014, 18:19, Reply)

I went up your back shaft this morning and you didn't even realise
That place really is falling to pieces - regardless of career progression you're better off out of it.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Thu 13 Feb 2014, 18:24, Reply)

the atrium leaks when it rains.
It's West Yorkshire's premier building and no mistake.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 13 Feb 2014, 18:26, Reply)

I was on level 12 today, apparently 20 and above got fucked in the wind last night

( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Thu 13 Feb 2014, 18:33, Reply)

cool story

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 13 Feb 2014, 18:41, Reply)

Mrs dozer is a figment of your drug addled brain

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 13 Feb 2014, 18:27, Reply)

when you're balls deep in your boyfriend he's fantasising about that bent Doctor off the tellly
Because of your embarrassing body.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 13 Feb 2014, 18:30, Reply)

Pun tastic!
At least I don't have to inflate him with a foot pump.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 13 Feb 2014, 18:34, Reply)

he's bumming around behind your back.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 13 Feb 2014, 18:40, Reply)

your sex life involves a puncture repair kit

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 13 Feb 2014, 18:42, Reply)

nah, it never goes down

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 13 Feb 2014, 18:46, Reply)

AND THE DOLL!!!!!!

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 13 Feb 2014, 18:54, Reply)

It's nearly going home time!!!
Noe work till Monday! Soft milf play and steak dinner tomorrow! Happy!
(DBT became a fruitarian on, Thu 13 Feb 2014, 17:54, Reply)

You aren't really happy though....
....are you?
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 13 Feb 2014, 17:59, Reply)

Am soe.

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Thu 13 Feb 2014, 18:01, Reply)

The first step in solving a problem is admitting to yourself that there *is* a problem.
All your OT friends are here to support you.
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 13 Feb 2014, 18:03, Reply)

*sniffs*

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Thu 13 Feb 2014, 18:09, Reply)

Recreational drugs aren't the answer

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 13 Feb 2014, 18:10, Reply)

You're the bst one here frog.Really.

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Thu 13 Feb 2014, 18:12, Reply)

kiss arse

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 13 Feb 2014, 18:12, Reply)

Don't be jelly babe it doesn't suit you xx

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 13 Feb 2014, 18:14, Reply)

I don't think you're ready for my jelly

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 13 Feb 2014, 18:16, Reply)

I know, but thanks anyway.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 13 Feb 2014, 18:13, Reply)

I'm tickety-boo, thanks for asking
I'll be picking up stepdaughter from her dancing class, then tucking in to Coq au Vin with crisp garlic-roasted potatoes and veg. I fully intend to snooze in front of the fire with my trouser button undone after that.
In other news, I'm on my hollibobs until next Thursday as have to "take'em or lose 'em" before the end of February. This is a good thing.
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Thu 13 Feb 2014, 17:56, Reply)

My throat feels like I've been gargling with hot lava and razorblades
and I possess a cough that could strip bark from a tree. It's fucking great.

/May not actually be fucking great.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 13 Feb 2014, 18:08, Reply)

Need a sick note?

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Thu 13 Feb 2014, 18:10, Reply)

Nah, back at work tomorrow.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 13 Feb 2014, 18:13, Reply)

:(
What have you got to lubricate it?
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 13 Feb 2014, 18:12, Reply)

I'll be attacking the night nurse later.
I should have bought in some cans of Murphy's, I find that soothes it nicely.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 13 Feb 2014, 18:14, Reply)

bit harsh, she's only trying to help.

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 13 Feb 2014, 18:16, Reply)

She's an odd colour and smells funny.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 13 Feb 2014, 18:17, Reply)

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 13 Feb 2014, 18:11, Reply)

These ladies are upset because Dave Lee Travis has been cleared of fiddling with them

( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Thu 13 Feb 2014, 18:35, Reply)

and he's smiling about it. Bastard.

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 13 Feb 2014, 18:39, Reply)

The law says he's not a bastard any more

( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Thu 13 Feb 2014, 18:43, Reply)

Oh I meant to complain about too many jaysum threads and I forgot.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 13 Feb 2014, 18:23, Reply)

GOD JAYSUM NOT ANOVA ONE, STILL I HEARD U LIEK A 'DOUBLE THREADER' LOL GAY

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 13 Feb 2014, 18:25, Reply)

If it's quiet, I shall post.

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 13 Feb 2014, 18:28, Reply)

Needy

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 13 Feb 2014, 18:29, Reply)

and what?

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 13 Feb 2014, 18:34, Reply)

AND NOTHING JAYSUM STOP HAVING A GO AT ME ALL THE TIME
SADFACE EMOTICON
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 13 Feb 2014, 18:40, Reply)

^ needy and upset

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 13 Feb 2014, 18:43, Reply)

you've changed jay u used 2 b nice 2 me :(

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 13 Feb 2014, 18:44, Reply)

It's this place and the sour bastards who dwell here.
Should we ever meet I will buy you a drink and a shot.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 13 Feb 2014, 18:55, Reply)

soz I only meet nice ppl

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 13 Feb 2014, 18:55, Reply)

GJ makes a good replacement for Chompy, I'd say

( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Thu 13 Feb 2014, 18:57, Reply)

Bitch.

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 13 Feb 2014, 19:03, Reply)