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(I helped save b3ta! rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Make up a conspiracy theory

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 11:21, 142 replies, latest was 12 years ago)
I think somebody did something that's wildly illogical because in my mind
massive multi-government conspiracies are far more likely than simple applications of Occam's Razor.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 11:23, Reply)
Thats what they want you to think

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 11:33, Reply)
Yeah.
Like I'll just do what I'm told!

rebel4lyf innit blud
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 11:24, Reply)
gordon brown waited until gold prices were really low
before selling them to himself by way of a secret offshore account. he's now cashing it in, one ingot at a time.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 11:24, Reply)
Your children are genetically related to you

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 11:25, Reply)
Yeah, right

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 11:28, Reply)
sorry I should have tried something at least slightly credable

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 11:32, Reply)
They dont even have horns

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 11:35, Reply)
Planes can't really fly, it's all a big cover up.

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 11:26, Reply)
Planes can't fly, scientists have proven that they scientifically can't fly because they're not shaped like bumble bees.

(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 11:27, Reply)
You idiot you're thinking of panthers.

(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 11:29, Reply)
Panthers are actually lions after a hair and dye job

(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 11:30, Reply)
Panthers cannot cry

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 11:30, Reply)
^ SCIENCE

(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 11:33, Reply)
FACTBOMB

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 11:33, Reply)
There was someone on QOTF who told the class about how they got to a point where they didn't believe other countries existed.
That planes just flew around for a while and the airport staff changed the scenery and stuff, and then landed. You enjoyed your holiday, and then "flew" back, when they changed all the scenery back.

They got sectioned for a bit, I think, but they're alright now.
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 11:29, Reply)
This is excellent!

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 11:29, Reply)
Swipey didn't really suck off Ps***Ch*mp

(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 11:26, Reply)
Swipey isn't ginger

(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 11:26, Reply)
Swipey isn't Northern

(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 11:27, Reply)
THE DOOR WASN'T REALLY LOCKED!

(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 11:29, Reply)
William of Ockham never shaved.

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 11:29, Reply)
Razor sharp delivery

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 11:30, Reply)
TERRIBLY witty! Bravo!

(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 11:30, Reply)
I quite like the Titanic one - that the ship was already damaged so they plate-swapped it and sent it out anyway so that they could claim it on insurance.

(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 11:30, Reply)
Building 7 and Area 51 are my favourites

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 11:31, Reply)
What's the Building 7 one?

(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 11:33, Reply)
It basically fell down hours after 9/11
The only steel framed building in history to collapse due to a fire. It goes down quicker than swipe behind bins too
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 11:34, Reply)
The twin towers were steel as well,
They showed how the fire protection on them was compromised by the collision, and the aviation fuel allowed far higher temps than would normally happen in a building fire.
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 11:38, Reply)
Yeah, but building 7 wasn't hit by the planes

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 11:39, Reply)
I was merely being pedantic as you said ONLY

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 11:40, Reply)
WTC1 and 2 didn't just catch fire though, did they?

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 11:42, Reply)
Neither did Building 7
It was hit by a lot of heavy debris from the wtc which then started the fires, once there is any point of structural weakness it is easy to extrapolate that as the point of failure
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 11:45, Reply)
New York isn't even a real place

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 11:46, Reply)
Why they changed it I cant say
people just liked it better that way
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 11:48, Reply)
nice

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 11:56, Reply)
Thanks
I do now have the whole song going through my head
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 11:58, Reply)
Thats nobodies business

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 12:00, Reply)

b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post2248707
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 11:46, Reply)
Oh man....
*dons hat of foil*
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 11:48, Reply)
OI

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 11:47, Reply)
what?

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 11:58, Reply)
I think she means that B7
took a good 6 hours to go down and she would never wait that long
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 12:10, Reply)
Gay's can't whistle

(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 11:31, Reply)
No this one is true

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 11:32, Reply)
They can whistle, but only at other gays.

(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 11:33, Reply)
I know it is, I am the source of this FACT!

(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 11:35, Reply)
This one can.
I can't click my fingers though
(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 11:38, Reply)
You'd be shit in a rumble

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 11:46, Reply)
The moon landings were faked at a disney funded studio
You can tell by the shadows (fuck knows where Cliff was during this)
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 11:34, Reply)
A mickey mouse theory that one

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 11:34, Reply)
When I was at school my best friends mum claimed Boris Yeltsin was a clone.
She claimed she could tell by looking at his eyes.
(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 11:34, Reply)
That was vodka though, right?

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 11:35, Reply)
I think they both may have been on the vodka

(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 11:35, Reply)
Possibly

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 11:36, Reply)
If you eat a tomato seed a plant will grow in your stomach.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 11:35, Reply)
Chewing gum will wrap round your internal organs and strangle you from the inside

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 11:35, Reply)
Bubble gum will expand in your stomach, engulfing all your internal organs

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 11:37, Reply)
*fears*

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 11:37, Reply)
This is true
the weird think it a potato plant will grow.
(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 11:36, Reply)
Smoking pot causes vaccinations.

(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 11:37, Reply)
If women are underwater for more than 5 minutes they sprout "gills"

(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 11:37, Reply)
You mean their hair will turn red?

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 11:37, Reply)
hahahahaha!
This gets a click
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 11:38, Reply)
I set em up...

(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 11:42, Reply)
My mates dad is Stan Hey

(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 11:37, Reply)
G+

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 11:37, Reply)
Make-up is a conspiracy to get ugly women laid

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 11:38, Reply)
All women that wear make up are fucking ugly and liars and whores.

(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 11:40, Reply)
Fucking is and all

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 11:48, Reply)
9/11 was staged by Nestle to sell more Twix bars
It was an advert that went horribly wrong so they blamed it on the muzzas.
(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 11:39, Reply)
A double blow for them as combining chocolate with biscuit and caramel is considered haraam

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 11:42, Reply)
I am on board with this idea

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 11:42, Reply)
Sounds like the idea went down in flames.

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 11:55, Reply)
They didn't have the technology in the 1960s to get a man back off the moon.
Landing there was cool, though.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 11:41, Reply)
Muslims keep all the *really* funny Mohammed cartoons tucked inside their copies of the Qur'an.
They make up the rules about handling them so you don't accidentally see them.
(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 11:41, Reply)
We are actually an alien race, left here by other worlds, to mine this and subsequent planets as we see fit.
This is why there are U.F.O's on many ancient hieroglyphics.

Cats were also left here by this race. They were worshipped by the ancient Egyptians and are keeping an eye on us.
(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 11:41, Reply)
Funnily enough there is credible scientific evidence that life may not have been native to Earth.
Theory goes that the meteor that extinguished the dinosaurs threw tonnes and tonnes of rock into space. Maths predicts that hundred of tonnes of the stuff landed on Mars, purely through the law of averages.

Since that's the case, it's entirely credible it could have happened in reverse, seeding Earth with microbial life.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 11:44, Reply)
We should all fuck off back to where we came from

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 11:44, Reply)
That Tangledfarage chaps speaks for me

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 11:47, Reply)
ALIENS!! ALIENS EVERYWHERE!!

(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 11:47, Reply)
And not a drop to drink

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 11:50, Reply)
I had a wonderfully cliched stoned conversation with our bass player one afternoon about how he reckoned spiders are aliens.
That they came down on some meteor before we were fully evolved, and we carry the genetic memory of them being "other", and that's why people tend to be scared of them.
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 11:49, Reply)
this makes perfect sense ^

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 11:50, Reply)
It's true.
It was full of "Oh maaan ..." and "like", and strained reaching for the ashtray and everything.
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 11:51, Reply)
Insects used to be fucking huge in the oxygen rich atmosphere of the prehistoric.
That's why I'm shit scared of moths. Some genetic memory of moths the size of light aircraft terrorising my distant shrew ancestors.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 11:52, Reply)
To be fair
he has a point, due to the idea that all life on earth was instigated by an asteroid.
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 11:51, Reply)
Not according to my edition of The Bible

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 11:58, Reply)
Well now you put it like that
I rescind my previous statement
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 12:07, Reply)
I had one the other week where we concluded that we are basically a chemical reaction.
When we age it is the chemicals deteriorating. So when we die there will be nothing.
It was obviously a lot more intricate than that. We had no explanation for our feelings and free will though.

Space conversations are fucked up too. I still don;t get space.
(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 12:13, Reply)
Space is the gap between your ears old chap

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 12:22, Reply)
Playing Tetris will give you athletes foot.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 11:42, Reply)
Super Mario Brothers made me go bald :(

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 11:47, Reply)
Charles is probably Harry's dad

(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 11:42, Reply)
dont be so fucking stupid no one will believe that

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 11:51, Reply)
Bitches actually DON'T be trippin'

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 11:46, Reply)
woah
Mind. Blown.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 11:47, Reply)
I'm as shocked as you

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 11:49, Reply)
^

(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 11:49, Reply)
Two Hats doesn't actually own any hats

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 11:48, Reply)
NO MORE QUESTIONS
*pushes photographer*
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 11:49, Reply)
Polishing surfaces anti-clockwise reduces risk of stroke and venereal disease.

(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 11:48, Reply)
David Cameron is one of a set of identical triplets.
Each of them take it in turns to be Prime Minister.
(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 11:49, Reply)
Each of them are equally shit at it.

(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 11:57, Reply)
37 has been proved to be the most sexually-arousing number.

(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 11:49, Reply)
as the missus is 37
I can categorically state that this isn't true
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 11:52, Reply)
I, however, can categorically deny that.

(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 11:53, Reply)
Are you banging my missus?

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 12:06, Reply)
No, I think it's sporto's turn today

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 12:08, Reply)
Well thats what I meant
I mean you go to all the trouble of getting a rota together.
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 12:09, Reply)
Fucks sake
I didnt get the memo
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 12:11, Reply)
*adds to mailing list

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 12:21, Reply)
Sportscow is actually a sheep.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 11:52, Reply)
WAKE UP SHEEPLE!

(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 11:55, Reply)
Zzzzzzz...,wha?

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 11:58, Reply)
something about counting on you and sheep and sleeping

(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 12:26, Reply)
When you wish upon a star your dreams come true.

(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 11:54, Reply)
Or you have a terminal illness.

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 11:56, Reply)
I'm bored of this now

(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 11:55, Reply)
That's just what you want us to think

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 11:57, Reply)
He is a MI5 mole
Fucking scarper
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 11:59, Reply)
People can, and have gone back after going black, but 'political correctness' means no one is allowed to mention it.

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 11:56, Reply)
Not all people of oriental extraction know kung fu.
I have discovered this through exhaustive surprise punching research. However, enough of a significant minority do know it to make me wish I hadn't bothered.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 12:03, Reply)
officelol

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 12:04, Reply)

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