Children.
Just for Swipe.

Kids eh? Like them? Dislike them? Want them? Not want them? Why? Why not? Have them? Planning on having more?
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 1 Apr 2014, 13:42, 36 replies, latest was 11 years ago)

Not planning on any more, in the short time anyway. We're off to Disneyland next month ours, what joy.

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Tue 1 Apr 2014, 13:46, Reply)

I only ever wanted one and I wanted a daughter. Result.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 1 Apr 2014, 13:52, Reply)

her teenage friends will never ever sleep with you

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 1 Apr 2014, 13:53, Reply)

She's about the same age as ours, isn't she?

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Tue 1 Apr 2014, 13:55, Reply)

She'll be 3 in August.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 1 Apr 2014, 14:16, Reply)

Cognitive dissonance

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 1 Apr 2014, 14:01, Reply)

Never wanted kids. Too selfish
Went to vets to ensure this
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 1 Apr 2014, 13:47, Reply)

Mine are tolerable in smallish doses
I wouldn't expect others to feel the same.
I don't want any more. Two is plenty.
Other people's kids are generally a pain in the arse, unless they are keeping mine occupied.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 1 Apr 2014, 13:47, Reply)

some kids are cool. my nieces and nephew are wicked, although one of them can be a bit of an annoying twat (surprise surprise it's the middle child)
but it doesn't really appeal to me. people with kids seem to make such a meal of it, can never do anything or go anywhere, and when they do it all revolves around mealtime or naptime or shititspantstime. and it's not exactly career enhancing for a woman, let's face it.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 1 Apr 2014, 13:52, Reply)

My mates are steadily falling to children.
Two fatherhoods in the past year.

It's a real shame, as they were both fun people.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 1 Apr 2014, 13:53, Reply)

the worst is when they try to go out and convince themselves that they can still have fun
inevitably they get cunted within the first hour and then make some kind of drama or fall asleep
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 1 Apr 2014, 13:55, Reply)

Yer.
And also, dad's trying to tell you that what their toddler did was "cool", and boasting about how their five year old likes punk rock songs.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 1 Apr 2014, 13:58, Reply)

it's because they have nothing else in their lives, because the shitting crying machine takes over
so then they tell themselves that nothing else matters anyway. and then they come to believe it.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 1 Apr 2014, 14:00, Reply)

There was a great article, can't remember where or exact wording otherwise I'd link to it
but it was to the effect that women who replace their profile picture with an image of their child are in effect saying "I AM my child, my previous personality and interests have been completely overwritten by my new status as mother".
This definitely applies to some of those that I know :(
( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 1 Apr 2014, 14:05, Reply)

+ ugly

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 1 Apr 2014, 14:06, Reply)

one of my friends said to me, "you have to be ready to become the frame, not the picture"
i've had to ditch a few people who talk about nothing else, and i mean nothing else.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 1 Apr 2014, 14:07, Reply)

"It's so difficult, but you'll have to get used to everyone looking at and talking about your child, rather than you"

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 1 Apr 2014, 14:09, Reply)

fucking retards

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 1 Apr 2014, 14:10, Reply)

Leave what you do with frog out of this

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 1 Apr 2014, 14:20, Reply)

:(

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 1 Apr 2014, 14:22, Reply)

dirty talk
www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/1y6lhe/z/cfhtedq
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 1 Apr 2014, 14:37, Reply)

I think it's usually because they get sick and tired of being constantly messaged by random guys from the far east

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 1 Apr 2014, 14:22, Reply)

Don't like them, don't have them, don't want them.
I wish everyone felt the same as I did.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 1 Apr 2014, 13:53, Reply)

i wish your parents had felt this way

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 1 Apr 2014, 13:54, Reply)

We all do.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 1 Apr 2014, 13:57, Reply)

Not least your parents

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 1 Apr 2014, 14:02, Reply)

sexy toddlers...

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 1 Apr 2014, 13:54, Reply)

This is you attempting to flush Nakers out of lurking, is it?

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Tue 1 Apr 2014, 13:55, Reply)

New parents disgust me when they fill my newsfeed with close-ups of their kids' snot or baby food-smeared faces.
NO FUCKING NEED you bunch of revolting cunts. Just because you get to see the contents of their nappy several times a day doesn't mean you should keep knocking on the neighbour's door to show them too.
( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 1 Apr 2014, 14:02, Reply)

+e

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 1 Apr 2014, 14:02, Reply)

What sort of kid pictures would you prefer to see in your news feed then?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 1 Apr 2014, 14:03, Reply)

Preferably clothed.

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 1 Apr 2014, 14:06, Reply)

+ in leather

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 1 Apr 2014, 14:12, Reply)

+ imperial

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 1 Apr 2014, 14:15, Reply)

NEW THREAD!

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 1 Apr 2014, 14:31, Reply)

The only one I'm ever going to be even remotely interested in is my nephew
That doesn't stop every other fucker banging on and on about their invariably ugly babies and every conceivable opportunity, even to the extent of bring the little cunts into the office where they can irritate scores of people at the same time. There's a woman at work who talks about nothing other than her now teenaged children.

Basically most parents seem to be incapable of talking about anything else, have nothing else going on in their lives worth mentioning and are absolutely desperate to bore me fucking rigid with it all.

The few parents that don't confirm to the above are few and far between, unfortunately.
( Kroney, Tue 1 Apr 2014, 14:31, Reply)