Last three things you bought?
Next three things you will buy?
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 24 Jun 2014, 10:35, 160 replies, latest was 11 years ago)

Dinner, a pint, swim shorts
Cigarettes, a pint, dunno maybe a curry
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 24 Jun 2014, 10:39, Reply)

I can't remember what order I put the shopping through the self service till so I don't know what the last three were :(

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 24 Jun 2014, 10:39, Reply)

You don't have a system?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 24 Jun 2014, 10:44, Reply)

No, and I probably go to the supermaket or 'minimart' everyday. Maybe I should develop one.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 24 Jun 2014, 10:45, Reply)

Mine is based around where the items will ultimately end up and relative weight/fragility

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 24 Jun 2014, 10:47, Reply)

I just chuck everything into my 'old persons pull along trolley'

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 24 Jun 2014, 10:49, Reply)

I'VE GOT ONE OF THOSE!!

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 24 Jun 2014, 10:57, Reply)

Mine has three wheels each side branching from a centrally rotating axis which enables me to go up stairs with it.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 24 Jun 2014, 10:58, Reply)

Just like his new "foot"

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 24 Jun 2014, 11:02, Reply)

That's just his rollerblades

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 24 Jun 2014, 11:02, Reply)

A couple of beers and a bottle of wine.
A couple of beers and a bottle of wine, I imagine.

Drink/London/bedsit &c.

Altalt: A compilation of 1950s rock n' roll, because that's how I'm feeling.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 24 Jun 2014, 10:43, Reply)

Last 3: Shorts and a T-Shirt for me, perfume for her.
Next 3: Trainers, Maybe a bike, Drugs, I dunno.
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 24 Jun 2014, 10:43, Reply)

Beer, chicken and sausages
More beer, more chicken, and maybe some #chives
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 24 Jun 2014, 10:46, Reply)

\o/

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 24 Jun 2014, 10:49, Reply)

Got a new bbq turning up on Thrusday
IMMA BURN SOME MEAT ON TO CELEBRATE THE FEAST OF THOR
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 24 Jun 2014, 10:47, Reply)

What sort of bbq?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 24 Jun 2014, 10:57, Reply)

Gas, sorry charcoal and wood purists
Outback Spectrum 3 burner
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 24 Jun 2014, 11:16, Reply)

They're great.
But are still cheating.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 24 Jun 2014, 11:23, Reply)

I know
thing is, I'm planning on using a lot and I'm buggered if I'm buying enough coal for 3-4 times a week of use. Let alone the time it takes to get it going.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 24 Jun 2014, 11:26, Reply)

Records.
Alright, gays?

I went to a funeral yesterday, which turned into a wake, which turned into a piss up. I jumped out of bed, late for work, hungover to fuck, stormed into Uxbridge, only to be told I wasn't due in at all this morning. Took me twice as long to get home.
( Kroney, Tue 24 Jun 2014, 10:48, Reply)

Oh dear

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 24 Jun 2014, 10:50, Reply)

S'alright.
I skanked it out. What else could I do?
( Kroney, Tue 24 Jun 2014, 10:50, Reply)

Count your fingers

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 24 Jun 2014, 10:53, Reply)

Which records?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 24 Jun 2014, 10:51, Reply)

It won't be yours #justsayin

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 24 Jun 2014, 10:52, Reply)

Well yeah, I'd know if it was mine #whodoyouthinkpoststhem?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 24 Jun 2014, 10:53, Reply)

The postman

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 24 Jun 2014, 10:54, Reply)

It's like he's outright trying to be stupid.

( Kroney, Tue 24 Jun 2014, 10:55, Reply)

No, he collects and delivers them.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 24 Jun 2014, 10:55, Reply)

So no one posts them, they're merely collected. I see.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 24 Jun 2014, 10:56, Reply)

What are you misunderstanding about the verb to post?
Or about the duties of a postman?
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 24 Jun 2014, 10:58, Reply)

I'm not surprised your mail order record business is failing

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 24 Jun 2014, 10:59, Reply)

Well nothing, really. You said the postman collects them, so they haven't been posted. They have been collected.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 24 Jun 2014, 11:01, Reply)

VERB
1 [WITH OBJECT] chiefly British Send (a letter or parcel) via the postal system
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 24 Jun 2014, 11:04, Reply)

ooo, quoting a dictionary on an internet forum
He's one step away from comparing you to Hitler here, Meatsnake.
( Kroney, Tue 24 Jun 2014, 11:06, Reply)

Well, I have the haircut.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 24 Jun 2014, 11:07, Reply)

I'm pretty sure Hitler would've understood how these things work.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 24 Jun 2014, 11:08, Reply)

Yes, I understand this. Apart from the fact you keep saying the postman collects them.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 24 Jun 2014, 11:06, Reply)

Do you think there is another postman who delivers the post to his house or summat?
I'm not sure how you think the job works.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 24 Jun 2014, 11:08, Reply)

You could just say 'I post them' and everyone would understand this, but you insist on this contrived method where everything is 'collected'. I can't see much posting going on here.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 24 Jun 2014, 11:10, Reply)

You weren't able to infer from my hashtag that I'm the one who posts them?
And even if the postman walked right up to my desk, took the parcel from my hands and drove it straight to Kroney's house, this would still count as sending (a letter or parcel) via the postal system, or 'posting' it.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 24 Jun 2014, 11:14, Reply)

ped·ant (pdnt)
n.
1. One who pays undue attention to book learning and formal rules.
2. One who exhibits one's learning or scholarship ostentatiously.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 24 Jun 2014, 11:17, Reply)

No, since your hashtag contained a question which I have mused over rather than a statement of fact.
All I'm saying is if you embrace the relatively simple postal system used for hundreds of years you might sell more than 6 records, instead of over complicating the matter for your legion of fans.
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 24 Jun 2014, 11:18, Reply)

The question was intended to make you consider how I might already be aware if Kroney had bought my record.
I didn't realise it was going to throw up all manner of other queries as to what would happen once it left my possession.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 24 Jun 2014, 11:22, Reply)

Do you mean once you posted it or once it was collected?

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 24 Jun 2014, 11:23, Reply)

Yes.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 24 Jun 2014, 11:23, Reply)

I don't even want your fucking record.
No offence.
( Kroney, Tue 24 Jun 2014, 11:23, Reply)

None taken, it's fairly unlikely you would like it.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 24 Jun 2014, 11:24, Reply)

I quite like it.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 24 Jun 2014, 11:25, Reply)

I am actually quite eclectic.

( Kroney, Tue 24 Jun 2014, 11:26, Reply)

That wouldn't make my record any less shit though

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 24 Jun 2014, 11:26, Reply)

dear god
this is shitter than cars chatting about mattresses whilst supping whisky.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 24 Jun 2014, 11:19, Reply)

Would you like an update on the veg' I am growing?

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 24 Jun 2014, 11:20, Reply)

Not at all, Tangiers and I are playing out a very clever 'satire' on the boring chat usually available on off our topics.
I wouldn't expect you to understand as you can't do internet banking.
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 24 Jun 2014, 11:22, Reply)

alright

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 24 Jun 2014, 11:23, Reply)

Pynchonesque

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 24 Jun 2014, 11:23, Reply)

This place would be dead on its arse if it wasn't for you and me

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 24 Jun 2014, 11:42, Reply)

send 1 (snd)
v. sent (snt), send·ing, sends
v.tr.
1. To cause to be conveyed by an intermediary to a destination: send goods by plane.
2. To dispatch, as by a communications medium: send a message by radio.
3.
a. To direct to go on a mission: sent troops into the Middle East.
b. To require or enable to go: sent her children to college.
c. To direct (a person) to a source of information; refer: sent the student to the reference section of the library.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 24 Jun 2014, 11:10, Reply)

Led Zep, London Grammar and another one I forget.

( Kroney, Tue 24 Jun 2014, 10:52, Reply)

Kula Shaker probably

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 24 Jun 2014, 10:58, Reply)

Might get some Oasis.

( Kroney, Tue 24 Jun 2014, 11:03, Reply)

Even the drink is shite

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 24 Jun 2014, 11:04, Reply)

You should be supportive of your local bands.

( Kroney, Tue 24 Jun 2014, 11:05, Reply)

Local?
Futureheads are local
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 24 Jun 2014, 11:06, Reply)

Yeah, local. They're from Manchester.
You should know this.
( Kroney, Tue 24 Jun 2014, 11:06, Reply)

He's not though.
You're thinking of Lindesfarne
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 24 Jun 2014, 11:49, Reply)

Milk, milk, lemonade.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 24 Jun 2014, 10:51, Reply)

Yeah, yeah
We all know that really you were round the back looking for chocolate
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 24 Jun 2014, 10:52, Reply)

um die Ecke Schokolade hergestellt wird.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 24 Jun 2014, 10:55, Reply)

snack box of raw nuts..
fresh orange juice. bottle of water.

non desk food stuff - erm - le creuset voucher for wedding present, train ticket, fathers day present.

to buy - erm - mascara (ysl volumising in black), running trainers for the froggy one, mirrored budgie dice.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 24 Jun 2014, 11:04, Reply)

You want to get Lemmy a nice hot oven and some garlic.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 24 Jun 2014, 11:09, Reply)

he had a bath with my fingers this morning
he was all fluffy and stretching his wings and beak to catch the water. squeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 24 Jun 2014, 11:10, Reply)

Basting himself.
How considerate.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 24 Jun 2014, 11:11, Reply)

OI :(((((((((((((

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 24 Jun 2014, 11:15, Reply)

Just deep fry it. Bitesize

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 24 Jun 2014, 11:24, Reply)

>:(

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 24 Jun 2014, 11:47, Reply)

2 words
Roast Ortolon
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 24 Jun 2014, 11:37, Reply)

is this some kind of soap?

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 24 Jun 2014, 11:46, Reply)

i.telegraph.co.uk/multimedia/archive/00644/news-graphics-2007-_644874a.jpg
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 24 Jun 2014, 11:51, Reply)

*places napkin over nakers' head*

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 24 Jun 2014, 12:07, Reply)

Wine, bread, bacon.*
Wireless keyboard & mouse (does that count as one?), lunch and a 20m ethernet cable.


*That's breakfast sorted
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Tue 24 Jun 2014, 11:05, Reply)

Oh man
Too short
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 24 Jun 2014, 11:05, Reply)

A phone charger, a lesbian wedding card and an Amazon gift card.
Next I will probably be buying a rug or 2 as Im pulling up the carpet in my passageway (strikethrough bonanza), some running shoes and socks.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 24 Jun 2014, 11:23, Reply)

You don't need a rug, m8.
You have a fine head of hair.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 24 Jun 2014, 11:24, Reply)

it's for YM chest

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 24 Jun 2014, 11:30, Reply)

Oh, I forgot I bought a set of 'Knogs' this moring

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 24 Jun 2014, 11:24, Reply)

wtf is a knog?
knig knog?
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 24 Jun 2014, 11:25, Reply)

Little gay bike lights innit

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 24 Jun 2014, 11:26, Reply)

Like spokey-dokies?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 24 Jun 2014, 11:27, Reply)

No, they are lights. They are like lights. What is it about the noun light that you don't understand?

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 24 Jun 2014, 11:29, Reply)

Who collects them?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 24 Jun 2014, 11:30, Reply)

Amazon's chosen parcel delivery service.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 24 Jun 2014, 11:30, Reply)

Why are they called knogs?

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 24 Jun 2014, 11:30, Reply)

I have no idea.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 24 Jun 2014, 11:32, Reply)

It's because the name spokey dokey was already taken.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 24 Jun 2014, 11:34, Reply)

i fuckin love spokey dokeys

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 24 Jun 2014, 11:38, Reply)

Well they were the sort of thing 'special' kids had on their bikes to distract them from the fact they still had stabilizers on at 13.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 24 Jun 2014, 11:39, Reply)

i had the coolest BMX when I was little
1.bp.blogspot.com/-zXJN37rB0zI/UpDm6vuB-uI/AAAAAAAAA00/7ShJoveACeo/s1600/IMG_4193.JPG


\o/
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 24 Jun 2014, 11:40, Reply)

You can't put spokey dokies on mag wheels

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 24 Jun 2014, 11:42, Reply)

waht are mag wheels?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 24 Jun 2014, 11:42, Reply)

D'you know what, I'm not sure this is an internationally recognised thing, but when ah were a lad, that style of spoke was referred to as 'mag wheels' to distinguish it from ordinary spokes

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 24 Jun 2014, 11:45, Reply)

Or it's possible I dreamt the whole thing

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 24 Jun 2014, 11:45, Reply)

never heard of that
had spokey dokeys on a later bike innit
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 24 Jun 2014, 11:47, Reply)

No, nor has google.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 24 Jun 2014, 11:47, Reply)

I knew what you meant by mag wheels

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 24 Jun 2014, 11:51, Reply)

maybe it's just people that grew up in urban wastelands that use the term

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 24 Jun 2014, 11:57, Reply)

Or maybe it's a real term used for that style of wheel, including on the new replica of what you say is the 'coolest' but looks like the 'gayest' bmx ever
www.evanscycles.com/products/raleigh/mag-burner-replica-2011-bmx-ec024275
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 24 Jun 2014, 11:59, Reply)

i can smell your jealousy from here

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 24 Jun 2014, 12:04, Reply)

I always wanted a 'Street Wolf'

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 24 Jun 2014, 11:43, Reply)

My neighbour had one, it was even better than you imagine

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 24 Jun 2014, 11:44, Reply)

I rode one once, I have never experienced anything like it or will again.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 24 Jun 2014, 11:47, Reply)

Is that the one with the electronic bit on the front?

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 24 Jun 2014, 11:49, Reply)

Some weird light up keyboard thing..?

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 24 Jun 2014, 11:49, Reply)

it is!! My mate had one too. I was so jel.

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 24 Jun 2014, 11:50, Reply)

how's this conversation with yourself going?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 24 Jun 2014, 11:51, Reply)

Better than talking to you

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 24 Jun 2014, 11:59, Reply)

SUJ

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 24 Jun 2014, 11:52, Reply)

is that an offer?

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 24 Jun 2014, 11:59, Reply)

TUFF BURNER!!!!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 24 Jun 2014, 11:55, Reply)

i had no idea it was called that
i might try and get mini ape one
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 24 Jun 2014, 11:57, Reply)

fuck me they are expensive, wich we'd kept it now :(

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 24 Jun 2014, 11:58, Reply)

she's a girl
get her a barbie princess one

www.toysrus.co.uk/Toys-R-Us/Bikes-and-Rideons/Bikes/Girls/14-Disney-Princess-Bike(0098242)?searchPosition=2
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 24 Jun 2014, 12:10, Reply)

then after nagging you for it for 6 months
she can turn around and announce that she HATES pink, it's BABYISH, and she only likes BLUE and PURPLE
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 24 Jun 2014, 12:12, Reply)

I had one
They were mint
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 24 Jun 2014, 12:13, Reply)

tuff burner 5s

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 24 Jun 2014, 12:20, Reply)

knoggin the knog

( Kroney, Tue 24 Jun 2014, 11:26, Reply)

Cigarettes, cider, 2 books
Cigarettes, cider, a fisting mitten.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 24 Jun 2014, 11:25, Reply)

lube

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 24 Jun 2014, 11:29, Reply)

Gonna get a Humble Pie album.
As you were.
( Kroney, Tue 24 Jun 2014, 12:34, Reply)