Just spent some time over the other end of the office fixing stuff.
No doubt the topic of conversation over there now is all about the handsome older gentleman that swooped in to solve the unsolvable problems. The younger guys will be wanting to emulate me whilst the women will be fantasising about running away with me, wrapped up in my strong, manly arms.

In a lot of ways my work would be easier if IT didn't have such a masculine, romantic reputation. But let's not kid ourselves, I got into this job for the hot chicks.
( Kroney, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 10:09, 3 replies, latest was 10 years ago)

can you check the network cabling under my desk?
there's nothing wrong with it ... I just want to ogle your arse
(old man river possible lesbian, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 10:11, Reply)

Of course you do.
I'm sure you're as straight as they come, but a guy like me can turn a chap's head.
( Kroney, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 10:13, Reply)

hahahahahaha
not the fat middle aged birds wearing Monty style jeggings?
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 10:11, Reply)

They're all of a fizz thinking of the dashing fellow with the assured, yet gentle, hands.

( Kroney, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 10:14, Reply)

Firm and reassuring but lightly calloused demonstrating your earthy life experience.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 10:15, Reply)

Strong and rough and yet with a deft touch
reflecting the inner sensitivity of the slice of man-cake handling her equipment.
( Kroney, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 10:19, Reply)

hahahaha

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 10:35, Reply)

You can often hear them
They sound like popping candy while you are fixing their Cat 5 cabling
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 10:16, Reply)

Many people blame the humidity in the office on dodgy air-conditioning
but I know better.
( Kroney, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 10:20, Reply)

Queef heating
It could save us from global warming
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 10:22, Reply)

I've never heard the term jegging before, stretchy denim for fat chavs?

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 10:17, Reply)

exactly
jean legging.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 10:35, Reply)

You either sharpened someone's pencil, or changed a lightbulb.
Our IT person at the surgery was a 20ish girl, in her own words 'IT is full of pricks'. I can't really believe that?
(DBT became a fruitarian on, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 10:14, Reply)

Dont be silly girls dont do IT
They do things like answering the phone and making a nice cup of tea
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 10:15, Reply)

bitches be needing stitches.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 10:16, Reply)

She had boobworks, and a girl's name, pretty sure she was a real one.

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 10:18, Reply)

While I would never doubt your trained medical eye
She defo had a cock and balls hidden away too.

Women do things like washing up and cleaning after the menfolk
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 10:22, Reply)

I think shemay have been a 'lesbian', however.

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 10:24, Reply)

The desk was surrounded by a swarm of young lads, all desperate to impress the bright young filly whose phone couldn't get an IP address.
In comes the quietly authoritative mature heart-throb, gently pushing aside the throng, before getting on his knees and reseating the cable in the girl's port.

With many sighs and a heart all a-flutter, she breathlessly thanked me before sliding clean off her chair.
( Kroney, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 10:18, Reply)

Ah the classic
"have you checked that everything is correctly plugged in"

You sir are a Hero for our times.
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 10:20, Reply)

Give over, I had to run a new cable AND re-patch the comms.

( Kroney, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 10:21, Reply)

*swoons*

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 10:22, Reply)

Some prick here only patched the first four (occupied) ports in a server rack.
I mean... honestly.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 10:35, Reply)

What sort of cahnt would do that?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 10:39, Reply)

That is a somewhat draconian approach to policing corporate internet use.

( Kroney, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 10:43, Reply)

Are you the one with glasses, from thee IT crowd?

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 10:44, Reply)

this is the worst erotic fanfic ever

(old man river possible lesbian, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 11:08, Reply)

It's a good job the Confessions... series of films stopped in the 70s

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 11:10, Reply)

Confessions of an Ocado driver was funny as fuck.

(old man river possible lesbian, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 11:20, Reply)

Confessions of an SEO and Digital Marketing Consultant wasn't very good though

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 11:32, Reply)

Carry On Kickstarting!

(old man river possible lesbian, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 11:34, Reply)

Kickstarting Murdering Polish prozzies
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Wed 29 Oct 2014, 11:44, Reply)

yeah ... "sharpened his pencil" ... eh? eh? know what I mean? eh?

(old man river possible lesbian, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 10:20, Reply)

It wasn't actually a euphemism.

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 10:23, Reply)

everything is a "euphemism" ... if you know what I mean

(old man river possible lesbian, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 10:32, Reply)

She is correct, in a very literal sense.

( Kroney, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 10:25, Reply)