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rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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dweeb-free threadanybody who talks shop gets taken outside and called mean names
Sand or pebbles? Salt or fresh? Sharks or jellyfish? Hooning about on the water or slobbing around on the beach like a cunt?
(, Tue 4 Nov 2014, 11:52, 182 replies, latest was 10 years ago)
Sand. Salt. Sharks. Hooning. (
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 4 Nov 2014, 11:57,
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He's lying.Any more than five minutes spent on a beach for him results in him developing melanomas all over.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 4 Nov 2014, 12:26,
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Woah, I'm up to like 30 minutes now, dingus. (
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 4 Nov 2014, 12:38,
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Sand everytime.I've always been more of a sea fan, although recently we've been staying in Limousin, so all the swimming has been in lakes and rivers and it makes a refreshing change to not get a mouthful of salt water.
Hooning about on the water is more fun when there are tides and waves and that though.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 4 Nov 2014, 12:00,
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I watched some daytime telly this morning.I'd like a threes up with Lucy Alexander and Sian Williams.
(, Tue 4 Nov 2014, 12:06, Reply)
meedja birds are proper dirtyIn my extensive experience of two meedja birds.
(, Tue 4 Nov 2014, 12:28, Reply)
Lucy Alexander going down on Sian Williams.You can have that one on me.
(, Tue 4 Nov 2014, 12:23, Reply)
You stupid bastard. (
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 4 Nov 2014, 12:37,
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Lucy Alexander is the girl eating popcorn in the video for "(I am) The One and Only" fact fans(
The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 4 Nov 2014, 12:47,
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Im not really a fan of the beach in general.Prefer to be at a beach side bar.
I got stung by a jellyfish once. wrapped itself round my leg. I thought it was seaweed until it stung and my leg went numb.
Had to hobble along hot sands to the first aid bit where they didn't speak English and essentially rubbed a bucket of piss on my leg. Kinky.
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GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 4 Nov 2014, 12:09,
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Terrace adjacent to sand getting cunted on san miguel and watching England play Germany on sky. Dream holiday.
(, Tue 4 Nov 2014, 12:18, Reply)
christ ... that's almost as depressing as living in Basingstoke or wherever the fuck(, Tue 4 Nov 2014, 12:29, Reply)
I don't know if that's going up or down the scale of shit commuter towns.Shall we settle on Slough? I've never been there either but it sounds proper fucking awful.
(, Tue 4 Nov 2014, 12:35, Reply)
Everywhere north of the M4 is pretty fucking gash.Maidenhead is about the only place I can think of that's not shit.
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Kroney, Tue 4 Nov 2014, 12:39,
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I grew up in Maidenhead. I have to say that on the whole it is also pretty shit.
(, Tue 4 Nov 2014, 12:42, Reply)
Oxford is one of the very few exceptions.I'd very happily live there, but it's fucking miles away from London.
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Kroney, Tue 4 Nov 2014, 12:59,
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45 minutes to an hour in good traffic. 50 minutes by train. It'll take longer than that to go accross London surely.
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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 4 Nov 2014, 13:03,
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You can drive from Oxford to central london in 45 mins?In what, an accord?
(, Tue 4 Nov 2014, 13:05, Reply)
When's there good traffic on any part of the M40?What's the season ticket cost like? An hour commute by train is a lot, seeing as you've got at least fifteen minutes either side unless you live and work in the train station.
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Kroney, Tue 4 Nov 2014, 13:08,
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depressing/boring towns includebromley, kingston, guildford, berkhamsted, godalming, tring, bishops stortford, sevenoaks. turns out that being near london but not in london = depressing and boring.
properly shit towns include stockport, hull, bournemouth, southend, milton keynes, stevenage.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 4 Nov 2014, 12:43,
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Guildford! That's the place I was trying to remember.I worked a few days with a client down there and it was genuinely the most depressing place I've ever been. And I've been to a stag do in Weymouth.
(, Tue 4 Nov 2014, 12:48, Reply)
and to return to the subject in hand, Weymouth has a really nice beachbut sadly somebody has built Weymouth on it
(, Tue 4 Nov 2014, 12:50, Reply)
I had 8 days in Guildford county court as a trainee. Dull as fuck.I couldn't even find anywhere I'd want to eat lunch, never mind post trial drinks
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 4 Nov 2014, 12:51,
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I just assumed we were stuck in some grim light industrial cornerbut it turns out the whole fucking place is like that
(, Tue 4 Nov 2014, 12:53, Reply)
Speaking as a native, unless you're a middle-aged middle income familythere's absolutely fuck all there for you.
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Kroney, Tue 4 Nov 2014, 12:59,
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I think that's true of everywhere west of London until you get to ... I dunno ... New York(, Tue 4 Nov 2014, 13:02, Reply)
Pretty much. Guildford's a nice town to grow up in, it's very attractive to middle-class suburban types for pretty good reasonsbut if you've got any sort of demand for proper night life, or decent entertainment, then you're fucked. I know a few good bars in Guildford that you wouldn't stumble across as a visitor, but they're full of all the cunts I went to school with.
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Kroney, Tue 4 Nov 2014, 13:06,
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You can be in London in minutes! They say.Thank fuck for that.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 4 Nov 2014, 13:05,
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there's a whole stripe of country out that way whose only selling point is that you can drive to LondonLive here! It's quite convenient to escape from!
(, Tue 4 Nov 2014, 13:07, Reply)
I lived in Slough for a bitMy favourite Slough fact is that there's a display in one of the shopping centres there describing all the many ways you can get out of Slough.
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Kroney, Tue 4 Nov 2014, 13:09,
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Here you gowww.johnbetjeman.com/newslough.html
That's painted right by the biggest fucking TK Maxx I've ever seen outside Tottenham Court Road.
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Kroney, Tue 4 Nov 2014, 13:15,
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Great transport links!Always a selling point.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 4 Nov 2014, 13:23,
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Slough has, without any shadow of a doubt, the worst, shittiest drivers in Britain.On the plus side, the drivers in Slough are marginally better than those in Barcelona and Bucharest.
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Kroney, Tue 4 Nov 2014, 13:14,
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Surrey has the worst drivers IMEThere is a noticeable change as you enter the county. I think its due to the sense of entitlement and superiority that permeates the place.
(, Tue 4 Nov 2014, 13:17, Reply)
Foxtons are fucking shit.Out of all the agencies I'm having to talk to, these guys are by far the worst.
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Kroney, Tue 4 Nov 2014, 12:37,
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I'm not racist, but all estate agents are sub-human and the sooner they're eradicated the better(, Tue 4 Nov 2014, 12:40, Reply)
Estate agents are parasites. (
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 4 Nov 2014, 12:41,
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I'm getting thoroughly sick of the fucking lot of them, if I'm honest.(
Kroney, Tue 4 Nov 2014, 12:42,
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I was lucky to have a small local estate agent do all our stuff who were thoroughly lovely. But everyone else I know who deals with the big guys say the same.
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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 4 Nov 2014, 12:46,
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I've just had a fucking great row with Foxton's woman over all this.(
Kroney, Tue 4 Nov 2014, 12:58,
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literally everybody involved in property transactions is a parasiteI wouldn't mind if any of the cunts actually added something useful to the process
(, Tue 4 Nov 2014, 12:42, Reply)
I thought you did "real" lawyering?Don't tell me you're a conveyancing monkey?
(, Tue 4 Nov 2014, 12:45, Reply)
I don't do conveyancing, I do litigationBut I often get asked about queries on deeds for multiple figure transactions. You can fuck up royally if you skimp on advice
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 4 Nov 2014, 12:50,
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damn them, and damn their brokering of property deals that all parties find mutually beneficial(, Tue 4 Nov 2014, 12:43, Reply)
^clearly still rents(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 4 Nov 2014, 12:45,
Reply)
Yes, I am butthurt with the three properties that I sold on Friday that otherwise I would not have sold. (, Tue 4 Nov 2014, 12:50, Reply)
Alright, calm down bragging, crikey. (
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 4 Nov 2014, 12:55,
Reply)
gee, sorry for standing up for estate agents being ragged on by the stupid and ill informed. I'll know better next time.(, Tue 4 Nov 2014, 12:57, Reply)
^Definitely upset or an estate agent(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 4 Nov 2014, 13:01,
Reply)
You stick to the driving around wales in a van, leave the estate agenting to the less thick kids with suits from the burtons closing down sale.(, Tue 4 Nov 2014, 13:05, Reply)
Why are you getting personal about this? Somethings definitely got up your nose.
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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 4 Nov 2014, 13:19,
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I reckon he's married to an estate agent.It's understandable that he doesn't want to accept that he married a sub-human cunt.
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Kroney, Tue 4 Nov 2014, 13:21,
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Do you ever lie awake at night wondering how your life could have turned out differently?(, Tue 4 Nov 2014, 13:03, Reply)
dying breedjust a shame we're not allowed to use them for blood sports
(, Tue 4 Nov 2014, 12:46, Reply)
FUCKING HIPSTERSwww.london24.com/news/quirky-london/uk_s_first_cereal_cafe_in_shoreditch_will_sell_100_varieties_over_two_floors_1_3831985
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The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 4 Nov 2014, 12:44,
Reply)
this will definitely succeed and they won't be bankrupt inside six months(, Tue 4 Nov 2014, 12:47, Reply)
UK’s first cunt cafe in Shoreditch will serve 100 cunts over two floors(
Peej, Tue 4 Nov 2014, 12:50,
Reply)
that's definitely not the first cunt café in shoreditchthere's like loads
(, Tue 4 Nov 2014, 12:52, Reply)
UK’s newest cunt cafe in Shoreditch will serve 100 cunts over two floors(
Peej, Tue 4 Nov 2014, 12:53,
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I don't think I can eat more than than 4 at a time.(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 4 Nov 2014, 13:10,
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I would be for that, try out all those weird american cerials. I like having a different one each day but don't want to buy a whole box, especially if I haven't tried it before.(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 4 Nov 2014, 13:17,
Reply)
Yes, but you could buy a whole box for less than half the price of a bowl at that place. And you could enjoy it without constantly wanting the cut the throats of the people around you.
(, Tue 4 Nov 2014, 13:19, Reply)
you can buy a pound of bacon for less than a bacon buttie ... that's kinda how cafés work(, Tue 4 Nov 2014, 13:25, Reply)
Sandy beach, every timeBrighton and its pebbles are fucking shit. Salty water please and sharks. I dont really slob around on the beach, I like to move about a bit when on holiday. Like to and from the bar
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 4 Nov 2014, 13:18,
Reply)
you had an unfortunate formative sexual experience in Margate, didn't you?(, Tue 4 Nov 2014, 13:25, Reply)
DIDN'T WE HAVE A LOVELY TIME, THEY DAY WE WENT TO BANGOR?!(
GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 4 Nov 2014, 13:42,
Reply)
You'd love a day out with me. I'd pull you out of that pseudo-misery state you seem to be in.(
GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 4 Nov 2014, 13:55,
Reply)
A day out in york hanging with dozers cru at the sk8bored park sounds more appealing(, Tue 4 Nov 2014, 13:58, Reply)
I'm being hassled my the Mrs as to what to do/get for my birthdayWhat should I do/get for my birthday?
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 4 Nov 2014, 13:53,
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You need to suggest this to the missusI bet that will stop her asking questions about what you want for your birthday.
(, Tue 4 Nov 2014, 14:10, Reply)
Be careful at the beach, mind:www.dailystar.co.uk/news/latest-news/405616/Couple-taken-to-hospitali-after-getting-stuck-together-having-sex-in-the-SEA
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The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 4 Nov 2014, 14:47,
Reply)
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