come on fools, wake up
you get to tell us here what you would really like to say to your boss/in-laws/ex, in one pithy sentence. what would it be?

alt: if you had to give up beer or wine, which would it be?

altalt: poor old bicester. would you live in a "garden city" of depression? tangles need not answer. it'll still be better than coventry.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 10:31, 169 replies, latest was 10 years ago)

suck my dick
alt: Beer. I need my red red wine (for medicinal purposes)
( Ms Shenanigans put something interesting here later, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 10:38, Reply)

Your a fucking idiot with unrealistic expectations of the business and lack any of the abilities required to grow it into something that's actually successful.
It's been a few weeks since I last pointed that out. They never listen anyway.

Alt: Wine. I'm male.
altalt: Interesting question. Welwynever.
( Muns, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 10:38, Reply)

his is definitely is a fucking idiot

(old man river possible lesbian, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 10:41, Reply)

Example: -
Shit business approaches us to do some work, fees are set out, they don't want to pay, despite shit business having shit work and little chance of making a return, bosses agree to do it all on commission basis.

We find a new loss leader. This isn't a one off.

The problem is, six-seven years ago we got VERY lucky with a client who put tons of work our way and it made millions. That was a total fluke, but in the minds of the directors they're on par in terms of business brains with Donald fucking Trump.
( Muns, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 11:15, Reply)

prolly something like "alright mate ... what can I get you to drink?"

(old man river possible lesbian, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 10:40, Reply)

Thanks for the free Xmas holidays and ca$h bonuses, and for being shorter than me.
Alt: VIN
Altalt: dunno what that is, soz.
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 10:41, Reply)

Christ, how small is he?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 10:42, Reply)

About 5'6" I guess

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 10:43, Reply)

Are you sure that's a bloke?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 10:47, Reply)

I think so, just a little one.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 10:48, Reply)

How cute.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 10:51, Reply)

I get a 'free' holiday too.
Lucky us, eh?!
(Baggenfrock get fucked, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 10:45, Reply)

Yes I can't wait such excite very holiday

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 10:46, Reply)

I'm getting old.
I've started doing that 'hitching up my trousers at the knees as I sit down' thing.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 10:42, Reply)

o ba
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 10:45, Reply)

trbausers?

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 10:46, Reply)

Thats nothing to do with getting old,
You should always do it when wearing a suit to stop the knees bagging out
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 10:47, Reply)

and dozer needs to know this why, exactly?
they make turd brown suits with SHIT emblazoned unnecessarily across the front, do they?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 10:56, Reply)

ozwald boateng does, yeah

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 10:56, Reply)

he says, flicking the dust off his littlewoods polyester 241 special, and dying a little more inside

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 10:57, Reply)

polyester?
Nigga, please.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 11:05, Reply)

Hey lady why all the anger at me
I am just the messenger and sartorial role model
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 10:58, Reply)

I'm awake!
To my boss "yes I did know X was leaving, I didn't tell you because a) you're too aloof to care and b) You really don't get the whole director/other ranks thing."

Alt: Wine. Beer is a staple but I like trying different wines, not so much trying different beers.

Altalt: What defines a 'Garden City' anyway? Isn't Welwyn a 'Garden City'?
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 10:43, Reply)

yes
bicester is going to become the second. bicester garden city. 13,000 horrific new build homes that all look the same. ghastly.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 10:46, Reply)

terrible bullying of Milton Keynes

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 10:48, Reply)

Hmmm
Looked up the definition - seems like a good idea but will probably end up as a massive fuckup
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 10:48, Reply)

ghastly indeed.

(Baggenfrock get fucked, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 10:48, Reply)

Egalitarian pre-war movement to bring people out of the city slums and into decent housing.
Characterised by plenty of communal green space and properly planned street layouts in an attempt to create a pleasant place to live.

Not to be confused with and rather ruined by the post war New Town movement that ended up carpeting the M4 corridor in concrete.
( Kroney, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 10:51, Reply)

Just look at this
fucking armpit hole of a town.
( Kroney, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 10:55, Reply)

I won't be able to sleep tonight now :((

(Mr Udagawa, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 10:59, Reply)

that sexy eh

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 11:01, Reply)

My parents live in one of the Scottish New Towns.
All the housing schemes have weird little corners with concrete 'sculptures' in them. If you're out on a walk with the dog and come across a massive stone hand or UFO, it's quite bizarre.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 2 Dec 2014, 11:05, Reply)

Cumbernauld?
Christ.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 11:09, Reply)

Fuck off.
Nobody lives in Cumbernauld. Have you been there? It's fucking dire.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 2 Dec 2014, 11:11, Reply)

I don't dislike any of those people and I'm fairly plain-speaking anyway.
Alt: Give up what now? Get fucked, I'm no quitter.

Altalt: Leave my beloved city? Never.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 10:46, Reply)

speaking lol
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 10:46, Reply)

youtu.be/3GMpSxjFPbI
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 10:50, Reply)

plain-speaking fucking queer
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 10:48, Reply)

These other people are strikethrough amateurs, standing in your shadow.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 10:52, Reply)

shadow piss
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 10:53, Reply)

Really we shouldn't bother building enough houses for everyone
I mean, what is that going to do to the value of all our existing housing?
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 10:53, Reply)

Now is your winter of discount tents.
#YurtsUnderTheHammer
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 10:54, Reply)

too right we fucking shouldn't, encourage people to fuck off elsewhere
who on earth wants more people? people SUCK.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 10:54, Reply)

The toothless Asian ones outside Monty's old flat certainly do.


Morning.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 2 Dec 2014, 10:56, Reply)

Yes, it's clear from your life choices that you seek isolation.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 10:56, Reply)

well yes
unfortunately other people keep getting in the way
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 10:59, Reply)

were you born such a joyless misanthrope?
or was it all those hours sitting on public transport breathing farts and BO?
(old man river possible lesbian, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 11:04, Reply)

depress it.
Good news for serial tenants looking to get on to the first rung!!!

Maybe one day I'll get out of this dismal bedsit!!!
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 10:56, Reply)

What sort of person puts Scottish lager on their cornflakes?
Apart from McBeef, and possibly others.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 10:58, Reply)

Glaswegians.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 2 Dec 2014, 10:59, Reply)

Dundonians.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 11:07, Reply)

I just dip my buttery in it.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 11:07, Reply)

Fifers

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 11:07, Reply)

Oh, now, steady on.
EAST Fifers, maybe.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 2 Dec 2014, 11:08, Reply)

aw they Fifer dirty wee cunts

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 11:10, Reply)

Awa' an' pish.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 2 Dec 2014, 11:12, Reply)

Tims.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 11:07, Reply)

Personally I think that providing decent homes for people
instead of cramming them all one on top of another is a great idea. I know I hate having a garden and love listening to other peoples' music, screaming children and sex noises through the god damned ceiling.

Plus, if you put them all in identikit housing, it ensures I'm going to be able to buy somewhere pleasant in a nice little village.
( Kroney, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 11:00, Reply)

who the hell wants to live in a well insulated efficient house built to modern day building standards anyway

(Mr Udagawa, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 11:03, Reply)

not me

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 11:04, Reply)

^smells of mildew

(Mr Udagawa, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 11:05, Reply)

ew red
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 11:07, Reply)

Well, I actually don't.
I want other people to live in them so that I can have a nice house. New Towns are for the Captain Bollockheads of this world.
( Kroney, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 11:04, Reply)

What's a kroney house?

(Mr Udagawa, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 11:05, Reply)

No newer than the thirties and in the Surrey hills.

( Kroney, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 11:06, Reply)

^mock tudor man

(Mr Udagawa, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 11:07, Reply)

I said Surrey, not Essex.

( Kroney, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 11:08, Reply)

Surreys full of mock tudor estates and don't you try to deny it

(Mr Udagawa, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 11:09, Reply)

I like to pretend they don't exist.

( Kroney, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 11:10, Reply)

Yeah, they're pretty inoffensive; it's post WW2 fourth phase housing that stinks

(Mr Udagawa, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 11:12, Reply)

nottingham.tab.co.uk/2014/11/28/is-guildford-the-most-boring-home-town-ever/
( Kroney, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 11:14, Reply)

No newer than 1830s and in the countryside

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 11:07, Reply)

& falling apart

(Mr Udagawa, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 11:08, Reply)

Nah they built things proper back in the old days

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 11:23, Reply)

yes, the lath plaster and wormridden beams must really be standing up to the damp climate

(Mr Udagawa, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 11:27, Reply)

I know
I mean all old buildings fall down that's why there are hardly any around nowadays
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 11:32, Reply)

especially the ones underpinned with concrete and held up with steel beam inserts

(Mr Udagawa, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 11:35, Reply)

I just checked and I only have 2 ft thick solid stone walls
Will my house fall down now
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 11:38, Reply)

Can't think why you smell of mildew and the house stinks with rotten joists what with the lack of a cavity

(Mr Udagawa, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 11:56, Reply)

That'd be the preference, for certain.

( Kroney, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 11:30, Reply)

only if it has very small windows and is on the threshold of natural light recommendations please, i don't want the sun getting on my pale anemic internet shut in skin

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 11:09, Reply)

your carbonfootprint will thank you

(Mr Udagawa, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 11:11, Reply)

'carbonfoorprint'

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 11:12, Reply)

hahahahahaha

(Mr Udagawa, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 11:14, Reply)

oh you

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 11:14, Reply)

looking out of your tiny little patch of garden at the bright brown new fence
or from the pvc windows across everyone else's identical tiny patches of garden on the identical estate.

shudder.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 11:14, Reply)

^lives in an identical half box

(Mr Udagawa, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 11:16, Reply)

you'd love it
plenty of metal to filch from those wrought iron railings
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 11:17, Reply)

why would i do that

(Mr Udagawa, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 11:20, Reply)

in lieu of there being a driveway to tarmac
OBVIOUSLY
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 11:22, Reply)

not much scrap value in iron dear, plus i think you're confusing Al here with another

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 11:24, Reply)

the two tonne beams being delivered today might be worth more down the scrapers, perhaps i should 'steel' them instead

(Mr Udagawa, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 11:25, Reply)

careful the COPPERS don't catch you

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 11:25, Reply)

shut up a minute
would you live in a garden city?
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 10:56, Reply)

not in the one i've been to

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 11:00, Reply)

shut up a minute
which one have you been to?
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 11:02, Reply)

welwyn
depressed the living hell out of me
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 11:12, Reply)

This will clear up with a bit of cream right?
alt: beer, wine is a much better for drinking at home

alt2 No
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 10:59, Reply)

Soon I hope to.
Alt: gah.

Altalt: Garden citites are full of seedy, worn swingers.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 11:19, Reply)

are they?
in that case I am planning my move straight away
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 11:24, Reply)

got an old lease here
that amongst other outmoded users that are prohibited has an embargo on the premises being used as a "brightsmith". never heard of one of those before.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 11:19, Reply)

golly ... and I always assumed your job must be incredibly dull

(old man river possible lesbian, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 11:20, Reply)

people who work with copper and brass innit

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 11:21, Reply)

I think they use the term 'Vice Squad' these days.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 11:22, Reply)

hahaha

( Slippery Mick ‏, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 11:25, Reply)

lol

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 11:31, Reply)

google seems to suggest it's something to do with painting

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 11:22, Reply)

i bet you're wrong

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 11:23, Reply)

it doesn't seem to be a real thing
stupid drafting
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 11:25, Reply)

he just told you what it is, you thickoid

(old man river possible lesbian, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 11:27, Reply)

bright metals used to refer to copper, brass, tin and stuff
Old profession innit blud
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 11:31, Reply)

Don't they also sell televisions to povvos?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 11:32, Reply)

Haha

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 11:33, Reply)

^can't even google^

(old man river possible lesbian, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 11:25, Reply)

and tin
go pasty wogs
( Peej, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 11:25, Reply)

thats a tinsmith
the clue is in the name
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 11:30, Reply)

he's from cornwall
they all have the same name
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 11:31, Reply)

FOYFPC
/ac
( Peej, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 11:37, Reply)

Brightsmiths work with bright metals like tin, brass and copper
Tinsmiths work exclusively with Tin. Hope this helps you retarded fuckwit.
( Peej, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 11:37, Reply)

coppersmith
brass founder
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 11:39, Reply)

Work exclusively with copper or brass
Why are you finding this so hard to comprehend?
( Peej, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 11:43, Reply)

fucks sake, these fucking people peej

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 11:44, Reply)

It's no wonder I did a Monty last week!

( Peej, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 11:45, Reply)

I'm glad you did a monty part 2 and came back

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 11:47, Reply)

No-one noticed I was gone
Internet validation is lacking in this place.
( Peej, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 11:48, Reply)

I did, I just thought you were the latest to give up

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 11:49, Reply)

You need to make more of a fuss about it before you leave.
Although sporto didn't and his absence got noticed by someone.
I guess he is (was) more popular than you.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 11:50, Reply)

He was the best one here

( Peej, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 11:55, Reply)

Alright Chrissy Hynd
I am still correct though as per the 1894 edition of "the art of metalsmithing"
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 11:45, Reply)

Silver is a bright metal too. Well done, have a gold star
Gold is also bright
( Peej, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 11:48, Reply)

What about lead Phil? Is lead bright?

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 11:49, Reply)

I'd ask Bonzodog
He's the authority on bright metals round here. But personally I think no as lead isn't really a metal, its actually a solidified oil based compound much like a malleable plastic.
( Peej, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 11:57, Reply)

I thought it was another term for Silversmith

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 11:26, Reply)

Well you thought wrong didn't you

( Peej, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 11:38, Reply)

No asherley
I am correct and everyone else is wrong
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 11:38, Reply)

Wasn't she married to Mark E Smith or summat

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 11:21, Reply)

snurk

(old man river possible lesbian, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 11:24, Reply)

I know I've wheeled this out before.
But my favourite Mark E Smith rumour is that he punched a blind man at a crossing because he saw him kick his guide dog.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 11:26, Reply)

You have no idea how little I do since you let me work from home, you are sometimes literally paying me to wank.
alt:wine. beer has more longevity

altalt: sorry wut?
( Glovington, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 11:27, Reply)