No poo chat.
Tell us a vaguely interesting thing that you haven't told us at great length and tedious detail before.

I once put diesel in the petrol outboard motor of a famous newsreader and completely ruined it. Then I saw his cock.
(old man river possible lesbian, Tue 6 Jan 2015, 16:38, 81 replies, latest was 10 years ago)

I've burnt my hand. Really fucking badly.
Do you think I should go to A&E?
(Baggenfrock get fucked, Tue 6 Jan 2015, 16:40, Reply)

I think you should ask the internet.

(old man river possible lesbian, Tue 6 Jan 2015, 16:41, Reply)

Run it under the kettle for 5 mins.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 6 Jan 2015, 16:42, Reply)

how did you do it?
i think you should put your head in whatever it was, just to check.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 6 Jan 2015, 16:44, Reply)

No.
It's the lords way of making you pay for your noncing.
( Muns, Tue 6 Jan 2015, 16:45, Reply)

I'm not really an annecdote kind of guy.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 6 Jan 2015, 16:41, Reply)

I'd never have guessed.

(old man river possible lesbian, Tue 6 Jan 2015, 16:42, Reply)

I fell asleep on a train once and ended up in Crew, I had to get off and get the next one back.
It was mid afternoon, so it was about 15 minutes.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 6 Jan 2015, 16:46, Reply)

you're like a male rachelswipe

(old man river possible lesbian, Tue 6 Jan 2015, 17:00, Reply)

I did that on a train going round Lake Geneva. Not my finest moment. Or indeed my finest anecdote.

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Tue 6 Jan 2015, 17:36, Reply)

I used to quite regularly do a full drunken circle of the Glasgow underground

(old man river possible lesbian, Tue 6 Jan 2015, 18:01, Reply)

Yeah, but in fairness, everyone who's lived Glasgow has done that at least once
a week.
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Tue 6 Jan 2015, 20:49, Reply)

I once cupped a famous wrestlers right buttock and was paid for it.

( Muns, Tue 6 Jan 2015, 16:43, Reply)

this is exactly the stuff!

(old man river possible lesbian, Tue 6 Jan 2015, 16:45, Reply)

The truth behind it all isn't that interesting unfortunately.
Although, there are pictures on the internet.
( Muns, Tue 6 Jan 2015, 16:47, Reply)

it's the short sweet version that counts
I once shared a bunk with Wolf from Gladiators.
(old man river possible lesbian, Tue 6 Jan 2015, 16:58, Reply)

I once saw Ron 'Big Ron' Atkinson on a petrol station forecourt.
He shouted 'alright lads' at us.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Tue 6 Jan 2015, 16:50, Reply)

the very first game i went to at old trafford
the fans were singing, "you're fat, you're round, your arse is on the ground, atkinsooon" at him. i thought that was mean.

the second game, they were singing, "you're big, you're fat, you're gonna get the sack, atkinsooooon" at him. i thought that was even meaner.

they were right though. fergie took over not long after that.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 6 Jan 2015, 16:53, Reply)

him me

they were right though. fergie took over not long I told them my proper name
( Muns, Tue 6 Jan 2015, 16:56, Reply)

i hope you get a fork stuck in your throat and die a horrible twitching death

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 6 Jan 2015, 16:59, Reply)

you're like a female psychochomp

(old man river possible lesbian, Tue 6 Jan 2015, 16:59, Reply)

and you're like a tedious board-killing bellend
no, wait. you are a tedious board-killing bellend.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 6 Jan 2015, 17:01, Reply)

mebbe stick to the poo chat

(old man river possible lesbian, Tue 6 Jan 2015, 17:02, Reply)

mebbe stick to talk.... no, wait, mebbe stick to qotw, no, wait...........

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 6 Jan 2015, 17:03, Reply)

you should go back to sleeping with your boss, you might get somewhere then

(Mr Udagawa, Tue 6 Jan 2015, 17:06, Reply)

bless you
you're like a little duracell bunny
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 6 Jan 2015, 17:10, Reply)

^something something copper coloured top.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 6 Jan 2015, 17:14, Reply)

don't make me make rak kick your arse

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 6 Jan 2015, 17:18, Reply)

I made the weird one from Kasabian smile, a feat previously thought impossible
by asking him how it's physically possible to get into his trousers.

Reading back, I hope he didn't think I was coming onto him.
( Muns, Tue 6 Jan 2015, 16:54, Reply)

or onto his trousers

(old man river possible lesbian, Tue 6 Jan 2015, 16:59, Reply)

Have you ever looked through people weight loss progress pics, it's sort of interesting/adictive.
www.reddit.com/r/progresspics/top/?sort=top&t=all
(PsychoChomp, Tue 6 Jan 2015, 17:01, Reply)

I'm willing to bet at least seven pence that it's neither

(old man river possible lesbian, Tue 6 Jan 2015, 17:03, Reply)

Why don't you give it a go eh? What's the worst that can happen, a little bit of your time will be wasted.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 6 Jan 2015, 17:05, Reply)

they should extend it to when it all goes back on again and they start to cry

(Mr Udagawa, Tue 6 Jan 2015, 17:05, Reply)

now this would definitely be worth five minutes of my time

(old man river possible lesbian, Tue 6 Jan 2015, 17:14, Reply)

a newsreader you say?

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 6 Jan 2015, 17:29, Reply)

zeinab badawi
Hung like an elephant.
(old man river possible lesbian, Tue 6 Jan 2015, 17:30, Reply)

You should release a Pannini sticker album
with all of the female newsreaders from all of the country.
( $$ ✅, Tue 6 Jan 2015, 17:38, Reply)

centrefold of Sian Williams

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 6 Jan 2015, 17:45, Reply)

his dick reaches past his nipples

(old man river possible lesbian, Tue 6 Jan 2015, 17:52, Reply)

Is it worth posting or are you all being shit?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 6 Jan 2015, 17:42, Reply)

there's only one way to find out

(old man river possible lesbian, Tue 6 Jan 2015, 17:44, Reply)

FIIIIIIIIIGHT!

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 6 Jan 2015, 17:55, Reply)

When has that ever stopped anyone?

(PsychoChomp, Tue 6 Jan 2015, 17:52, Reply)

Well you went away for a bit
Right chimpy? Still at the NHS
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 6 Jan 2015, 18:11, Reply)

Thanks for the hotel suggestions yesterday.
Not really what I'm looking for, is South Lodge nice?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 6 Jan 2015, 18:19, Reply)

there's a bloke on this train who looks like Robert 'the lol' Napper.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 6 Jan 2015, 18:21, Reply)

train wanker

(old man river possible lesbian, Tue 6 Jan 2015, 18:24, Reply)

wanker

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 6 Jan 2015, 18:29, Reply)

Bradfield

(old man river possible lesbian, Tue 6 Jan 2015, 18:35, Reply)

Moore

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 6 Jan 2015, 18:35, Reply)

I once played the famous 'Mermaid' guitar made by Andy Manson
He subsequently told me it was on sale at £100,000 - with £15,000 for the case.
I have photos
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Tue 6 Jan 2015, 18:46, Reply)

dunno what that is but it seems a bit much for a plank and some wire

(old man river possible lesbian, Tue 6 Jan 2015, 19:03, Reply)