Kaol's Espresso Challenge
Today I started the Espresso Challenge.

This means that every day, at lunchtime, I shall have espresso.
Today was a single, tomorrow will be a double, Friday will be five.

Updates shall be made, and it may well carry onto next week.
( Cawl, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 14:39, 76 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

And after you explode.....
What then?
( girlinthehole, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 14:42, Reply)

I'm not sure
We shall see.
I'm doing this In The Name Of Science.
( Cawl, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 14:43, Reply)

So, if your typing
goes completely to pot, we'll know it's because you're shaking like a shitting dog?
(TheWeeWitch hasn't been here much recently .., Mon 15 Sep 2008, 14:44, Reply)

Pretty much
I may stop on Friday.
Five expressos in twenty minutes might not be the best idea ever.
( Cawl, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 14:45, Reply)

I think
that you just made an entry in the "understatement of the week" compo ...
(TheWeeWitch hasn't been here much recently .., Mon 15 Sep 2008, 14:46, Reply)

Maybe.
But in the name of science, it needs to be done.
( Cawl, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 14:47, Reply)

Ooookaaaaay
but keep some ice water nearby - that's the best way to stop your heart from racing due to caffeine overdose (I may have found this out the hard way!)
(TheWeeWitch hasn't been here much recently .., Mon 15 Sep 2008, 14:48, Reply)

I thought you had to
Inject ketamine?
( Cawl, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 14:57, Reply)

I think
This may well be more likely to cause the end of the World than the LHC. Kaol off on a caffeine-fuelled stabby frenzy.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 14:49, Reply)

Well, we shall see.
I've been on many a vodka-redbull-fuelled drinking frenzy, so we shall see what happens.
( Cawl, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 14:51, Reply)

More people should do things like this
in the name of science!

Perhaps I should document the results of me going t total in the name of science?
( Captain V, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 14:49, Reply)

@ Captain V.
Would it look like this?

Day 1: Bored
Day 2: Bored
Day 3: Really fucking bored
Day 4: Switches to caffeine experiment.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 14:50, Reply)

Hahaha!
*clicks "I like this", grinning*
( Cawl, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 14:51, Reply)

I can't stand tea/coffee/any hot drink
So I've no idea what'll happen after day 3. Not sure it's wise to think about it too much.
( Captain V, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 15:07, Reply)

Erm...
Maybe you should take up heroin?
( Cawl, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 15:14, Reply)

Unfortunately I can't afford to
In all honesty I've no idea how I'm going to manage going so long without a drink. I suppose that's evidence enough that I need to do it.

Arse.
( Captain V, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 15:18, Reply)

One day in the pub I worked in
it was a very quiet afternoon so my friend Emma and I played the "how many shots of espresso can we have before we feel sick?" game.

I managed 8 before I started to get heart palpitations.
( wanderlust, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 14:53, Reply)

Well...
If I continue this to next week, the last day will be...
12 shots of espresso.
Hmm...
Should I write a will?
( Cawl, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 14:54, Reply)

@ 'Lust
Did the palpitations cause any jiggling?

*spoons feeds WL coffee*
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 14:55, Reply)

no jiggling
Just lots of feeling like my chest was going to explode then having brown sick.
( wanderlust, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 14:57, Reply)

Having dabbled with the evil amphetemines for far too long in my past.
I can't even look at pro-plus without getting the heebejeebies.

The only time I want heart palpitations now is on my wedding day.



*disclaimer - will not be getting married - evah*
( girlinthehole, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 15:02, Reply)

What's that?
Is it like espresso? /pendantry

Mmm, coffee.
(ThomsonsPier consumes, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 15:04, Reply)

Thank you!
Spelling has been amended.
( Cawl, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 15:08, Reply)

@ BGB
I had palpitations to the point of being sick on mine. Which was coincidentally 8 years ago tomorrow.

Christ, I was sooo young.

Woo for this weekend!
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 15:05, Reply)

This all sounds like marvellous fun.
But remember this, young Kaol...clendrix will not always be to hand with her ibuprofen.
( thealternativefact, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 15:21, Reply)

Ok, but do you think science will thank you?
Next week you could turn it into the "coffee AND cake" challenge.

So on Monday you have a single espresso and a chocolate muffin.

Then on Friday you'll be very, very poorly.
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 15:21, Reply)

*clicks I like this furiously*
I'd love to see Kaol do that "in the name of science"
( Captain V, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 15:24, Reply)

Yes
Friday:

'I'll have five espressos and a wedding cake, please.'

*voms*
( thealternativefact, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 15:24, Reply)

That is amazing!
But I'd rather not do that!
( Cawl, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 15:25, Reply)

Oh, why not?
You could do it In The Name of Bob

Like I am doing the "Shutting Myself In The Office With This Cup of Hot Coffee" challenge right now, in the name of "Will You All Just Leave. Me. Alone.

edit: not you, b3tans. I mean all the real people who keep pestering me and not letting me do any work.
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 15:30, Reply)

@Kaol
Can't you start with something easy like the Daz doorstop challenge and work your way up to this.

*worries*
( girlinthehole, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 15:26, Reply)

^
Daz! Hilarious, BGB.
( thealternativefact, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 15:28, Reply)

How will you get your larger fixes ?
Are there unscrupulous dealers in your area who will supply you or will you have to resort to subterfuge and deceit ?
(happyjoy last changed sig on, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 15:26, Reply)

Well, I'll just go to [local branch of chain coffee shop]
And ask for X espressos.
Easy enough.
I don't think they can refuse to serve you.
( Cawl, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 15:31, Reply)

Its very simple
you will turn into Hyper Kaol an evil being of pure nervous energy, you will be confronted by Mellow Ancrenne after she accidentally drops all of her aromatherapy stuff into the bath and turns into the most laid back person in the world, the resulting battle will destroy the universe

The startling similarity between this post and an Earthworm Jim episode is entirely intended.
(Halfy By light alone, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 15:27, Reply)

I like the idea of being
An Evil Hyper-Being of Pure Nervous Energy.
( Cawl, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 15:50, Reply)

*twitch*
You'll end up like Tweek from South Park.
( gypsy turnips, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 15:34, Reply)

For the record
This is in addition to my normal three cups of coffee a day.

Also, if it goes badly, I'll stop on Friday.
( Cawl, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 15:44, Reply)

My friend Justin
doesn't drink any type of coffee, but he went to the coffee shop and got an espresso for his friend. When they gave him the cup, he said 'What the hell is this? There's nothing in there.'
They told him it was an espresso, but he said, 'I'm not taking her that. Fill it up.'
'With espresso?'
'Yes, damnit.' (He's a Merkin)
'Er, OK...'

His friend was rather surprised to get a full cup of espresso. Sadly, I don't know if there were any amusing post-caffeine occurences (wall climbing, clothing removal etc.).
( thealternativefact, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 15:51, Reply)

That's
Fucking fantastic!
*clicks "I like this"*
( Cawl, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 15:55, Reply)

I don't do caffine either
If I drink a whole cup of filter coffee at speed, I break out into a cold sweat and start getting cramps. Bloody evil stuff.

One can of redbull keeps me up all night. Not good.

KAOL DON'T DO IT!!!!
(GirlOfTheWorld, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 15:57, Reply)

See, you saying that
Makes me want to do it even more.

Also, I've got Friday as a cut-off.
So the experiment has begun, no chickening out.
( Cawl, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 15:59, Reply)

Seriously just thinking about it....
Makes me a bit sweaty. I ate about half a pound of those chocolate covered coffee beans once and I was so very sick, I thought I was going to turn myself inside out.
(GirlOfTheWorld, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 16:01, Reply)

yikes
i get a weird delayed reaction to caffeine.
initially, i fall asleep. then, about 3 hours later, i'm all jittery and can't sleep.
that's why i stick to tea :)
( gypsy turnips, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 16:00, Reply)

Hear hear
Tea all the way! Nice cup of Yorkshire tea. Much more civilised.
(GirlOfTheWorld, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 16:03, Reply)

absolutely
i'm one of those people who takes teabags abroad.
( gypsy turnips, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 16:12, Reply)

merkins
i'm quite shocked at the way many of my merkin friends speak to waiters, bar people,etc. they can be so demanding.
i get all embarrassed and start cringing and apologising as soon as the merkin's left.

hello, i've never posted on this board until today. :)
( gypsy turnips, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 15:58, Reply)

Hello!
I'm glad that my throbbing awesomeness lured you to post.
( Cawl, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 16:00, Reply)

good luck!
i hope the throbbing awesomeness doesn't get out of hand by friday.
get hold of some beta blockers if you can ;)
( gypsy turnips, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 16:09, Reply)

Like a proxy?
Fuck that, QOTW OT is gonna be a venting-place for my twitching.

(Yes, I'm fully aware of what you meant)
( Cawl, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 16:12, Reply)

Hello brixton!
(Feel like I'm playing a gig there)

They are demanding. I just point at the menu and say, 'this please,' but they go nuts...'Oh, I'll have the cheeseburger, but instead of cheese I'll have a steak and instead of the burger I'll have a doughnut and I'll have a waffle on the side - oh, and does that come with with onion rings?'
( thealternativefact, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 16:04, Reply)

'over easy'
and what's all this 'eggs over easy' business they come out with?

argh, the confusion.

i guess i could wiki it, but i'm too lazy.
( gypsy turnips, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 16:08, Reply)

Ha!
It's where they flip it over when it's half cooked so that it cooks yolk-side down and then there are no gloopy bits around the yolk.

But being from England, I tend to just sit in the greasy-spoon knowing that my choice was fried or scrambled and that I'll eat it whatever it's like.
( thealternativefact, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 16:14, Reply)

ah, cheers for clearing that one up
i had scrambled egg in a little chef place once. it was like a little eggy brick.
( gypsy turnips, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 16:16, Reply)

That sounds like the kind of stuff we're used to.
And complain? Never!
This is why a) we don't have it as good as the merkins and b) why we're hated slightly less across the globe.
( thealternativefact, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 17:07, Reply)

@ clendrix
That made me giggle.

I think I managed 7 filter coffees in one day.
That may also have been the day I broke my wanking record.

Ahem.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 15:55, Reply)

I don't need coffee to -
- hang on, you probably don't need to know that
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 15:59, Reply)

I don't need to
But I think I want to.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 16:01, Reply)

I predict you'll
be climbing the walls before Friday!
( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 16:07, Reply)

Well, we shall see!
IN THE NAME OF SCIENCE.
( Cawl, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 16:11, Reply)

Beware...
Bad things could happen...

news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/wear/6944026.stm
(The Archduke of South London I'm in your Girlfriend eating her organs, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 16:11, Reply)

Hahaha!
Thing is, she had seven double espressos.
I'll be having five.
And I'm likely twice the size of her.
( Cawl, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 16:13, Reply)

I often laugh and cry for no apparent reason.
It has nothing to do with coffee.
( thealternativefact, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 16:15, Reply)

I often laugh
A lot, for no real reason.

I did it on the train on the way home on Sunday, so woo, free seat next to me on a packed train!
( Cawl, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 16:20, Reply)

You're being a light weight.
Personally I think you should increase your consumption exponentially. ie 1 on Monday, 2 Tues, 4 Weds, 8 Thurs and finally 16 on Fri. Then your experiment would have real meaning. You'd probably also feature on the BBC too which would be a plus.
(The Archduke of South London I'm in your Girlfriend eating her organs, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 16:48, Reply)

Too hard core for me.
I think I'll substitute tea.
one tea today, two tomorrow, and so on.
(Rich T has a clever and witty sig, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 16:13, Reply)

Go for it, and keep me posted
On what happens when you drink five cups of tea in twenty minutes.
I predict epic pissing.
( Cawl, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 16:14, Reply)

we had
a tea drinking competition at work once, had to finish a cup every 20 minutes.

I felt decidely wonky by cup 15
(Halfy By light alone, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 16:50, Reply)

I think the wanking challenge is in order
Is 5 in 20 minutes feasible?
I don't think I'll post the results.
*ponder*

Maybe to the ex.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 16:21, Reply)

the wanking challenge
can be the next step up from 4pm on Wednesdays/Thursdays/whenever the hell it is we all do it.

We have a certain timeframe in which to attempt to, um, outdo each other.



What?
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 16:38, Reply)

Heh heh
Synchronise watches!
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 16:40, Reply)

when I read "synchronise watches"
my mind immediately followed it with "over the top, lads", which I think in this context is rather appropriate, don't you?
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 16:44, Reply)

*shakes head*
You wankers...
( Cawl, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 16:45, Reply)

Tally Ho!
@ Kaol

I'm not ashamed.

*rotates knob*
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 16:51, Reply)

I actually don't think
That it will have that much effect.

I once had a (works out) quadruple espresso at work, and it had pretty much no effect.

There was also a girl who died from 18 espressos, which is fairly impressive. I shall attempt to find a link.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 16:55, Reply)

We shall see eh?
It's the second week that'll be interesting, as... Well, we're into high-ish doses.

To be fair, I have ground half a packet of pro-plus into Red Bull before.
*shrugs*
( Cawl, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 17:02, Reply)