New thread
Lets have a "Life Hack" thread.

Everyone loves "Life Hacks" what's your best "life hack"? If you like someones "Life Hack" the proper response is "Mind blown" or "omg"
(PsychoChomp, Mon 19 Jan 2015, 12:29, 65 replies, latest was 10 years ago)

I would like to "hack" the "life" out of the person who coined the term "life hack"

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 19 Jan 2015, 12:31, Reply)

If you're having trouble peeling a banana, why not do what monkeys do and steal food from tourists instead.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 19 Jan 2015, 12:33, Reply)

bit racist m8

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 19 Jan 2015, 12:33, Reply)

use a slice of bread to pick up slivers of broken glass
This is a classic Chompmaster P thread.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 19 Jan 2015, 12:33, Reply)

Mind blown

(PsychoChomp, Mon 19 Jan 2015, 12:33, Reply)

alright, heston
/ac
(old man river possible lesbian, Mon 19 Jan 2015, 12:34, Reply)

alright, Albert Marshmallow

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 19 Jan 2015, 12:35, Reply)

bit rude

(old man river possible lesbian, Mon 19 Jan 2015, 12:36, Reply)

And then put it back in the packet

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 19 Jan 2015, 12:46, Reply)

That used to happen a lot with baby food in the 80's.
I never realised it was good for picking up glass.
( Muns, Mon 19 Jan 2015, 12:50, Reply)

Life hack: Fat birds off the internet can easily be persuaded to buy you pizza and might suck your cock into the bargain.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 19 Jan 2015, 12:33, Reply)

bonus points for fatshock

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 19 Jan 2015, 12:35, Reply)

My broth has too much celery :(

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 19 Jan 2015, 12:34, Reply)

is this a secret code?

(old man river possible lesbian, Mon 19 Jan 2015, 12:35, Reply)

Life hack: don't put celery in your broth, it's horrid.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 19 Jan 2015, 12:35, Reply)

celery is an underrated veg

(PsychoChomp, Mon 19 Jan 2015, 12:36, Reply)

It's an allergen and should be declared on the label.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 19 Jan 2015, 12:36, Reply)

I didn't make it
i appreciate the importance of celery as a base vegetable, but they could have cut it up a bit smaller
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 19 Jan 2015, 12:37, Reply)

that's a Bloody Mary

(old man river possible lesbian, Mon 19 Jan 2015, 12:38, Reply)

Finely chopped in a tomato sauce, ok, but padding out a shit broth? Fack off.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 19 Jan 2015, 12:38, Reply)

And this coming from a card carrying vegetablist

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 19 Jan 2015, 12:39, Reply)

He is a foodwrong though.
The lack of meat is sufficient evidence for that.
( Muns, Mon 19 Jan 2015, 12:53, Reply)

How does it smell?

(PsychoChomp, Mon 19 Jan 2015, 12:35, Reply)

Brothy

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 19 Jan 2015, 12:36, Reply)

I don't even

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 19 Jan 2015, 12:38, Reply)

this is hilarious
www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-cornwall-30876360
(PsychoChomp, Mon 19 Jan 2015, 12:45, Reply)

No one comes out of that story looking good.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 19 Jan 2015, 12:54, Reply)

I tend to life hack and think of England

( broadsword now that's fresh, Mon 19 Jan 2015, 12:46, Reply)

I learned yesterday that the reason F.R.I.E.N.D.S always sat at the same coffee shop table is they had it reserved.
Srsly. There's a reserved sign on the table.

Mind.
Blown.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 19 Jan 2015, 12:49, Reply)

So the life hack is if you want to sit at a specific table reserve it.
Woooaaaahh
(PsychoChomp, Mon 19 Jan 2015, 12:51, Reply)

it's not a life hack, more a statement.

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 19 Jan 2015, 12:52, Reply)

as in the deeply unfunny sitcom, not even redeemed by Aniston's ass?

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 19 Jan 2015, 12:51, Reply)

I also hate wildly popular things because I'm better than average.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 19 Jan 2015, 12:53, Reply)

nah mate, I like some popular sitcoms and that, but Friends was utter shite
Popularity does not equate to quality.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 19 Jan 2015, 12:57, Reply)

As a rule of thumb, if an american comedy is filmed in a traditional studio setup it will be shit.
If it's single-camera, it might be alright.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Mon 19 Jan 2015, 13:08, Reply)

big bang theory is fuckin' toss eh

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 19 Jan 2015, 13:15, Reply)

You absolutely sure it wasn't because it was a television programme filmed in a studio?

(old man river possible lesbian, Mon 19 Jan 2015, 12:54, Reply)

Mind blown

(PsychoChomp, Mon 19 Jan 2015, 12:54, Reply)

What sort of needy prick reserves a table at a coffee shop.
See also: pubs.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Mon 19 Jan 2015, 13:06, Reply)

If you're a music lover, rather than fannying about changing records, potentially scratching it while selecting a particular song, dusting off vinyl, replacing styli etc.
Get a CD player, or an MP3 player.

It's 2015 for fucks sake.
( Muns, Mon 19 Jan 2015, 12:52, Reply)

Or just line up the songs on youtube.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 19 Jan 2015, 12:54, Reply)

As far as I can gather "Life hack" is the new populist term for
"Useful tip", right?
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 19 Jan 2015, 12:55, Reply)

OMG Mind blown

(PsychoChomp, Mon 19 Jan 2015, 12:56, Reply)

Yes.
Yes it is.

www.b3ta.com/questions/toptips/
( Muns, Mon 19 Jan 2015, 12:56, Reply)

I have contributed some fantastic top tips.
... and also some shit ones.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 19 Jan 2015, 12:58, Reply)

What exactly are Jay Z's 99 problems?
Even when I'm having a crappy day I don't think I'd hit more than five or six problems. He must be having a fucking dreadful time in between sipping champagne from Beyoncé's buttcrack.
(old man river possible lesbian, Mon 19 Jan 2015, 12:56, Reply)

Well he's got foes that want to see his casket closed

(PsychoChomp, Mon 19 Jan 2015, 12:58, Reply)

Everyone with half a brain thinks that he's a cunt?

( Muns, Mon 19 Jan 2015, 13:03, Reply)

I like him

(PsychoChomp, Mon 19 Jan 2015, 13:04, Reply)

I stand by what I said.
It just lowers my perception of you.
( Muns, Mon 19 Jan 2015, 13:05, Reply)

He's black.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 19 Jan 2015, 13:04, Reply)

I wish I was ugly and stupidly rich so I could drink Champagne out of Beeonsays butt crack
Oh well, 1 out of 2 isn't bad.
( Peej, Mon 19 Jan 2015, 13:10, Reply)

I think he may have been exaggerating, possibly to play down the potential pitfalls of being in a committed relationship.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 19 Jan 2015, 13:22, Reply)

Smartphones can also be used to make phone calls.
In fact it is hidden away but this is actually their intended primary function.
( Peej, Mon 19 Jan 2015, 13:07, Reply)

Don't log into OT
if you want to do any work today?
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Mon 19 Jan 2015, 13:21, Reply)

most modern cars have clever flashing lights situated at each corner
I have found that using these gives other roads users an idea of where you are going and therefore enables them to plan their next move and avoid potentially dangerous collisions
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Mon 19 Jan 2015, 13:35, Reply)

can't believe we left a perfectly working M.C. Beef thread for this shit

(old man river possible lesbian, Mon 19 Jan 2015, 13:36, Reply)

If you clip your testicles to the clothes line and leave them there for a couple of hours on a sunny day,
they'll always be dry and fresh for the next round of teabagging.
( .Yeti., Mon 19 Jan 2015, 13:58, Reply)