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rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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After 4 days of trade shows I have a day working from home*
One was so bad we started to play 'spot the cheapest shoe/suit combo' and 'buzzword bingo' by reading the advertising banners and counting up how many times they could shoehorn the word 'solutions' into their brochures.
Do you ever attend trade shows? Have you ever manned a stand at one? Tell us your tales of badly-dressed overweight men in cheap shoes and overpowering aftershave.
Alt: It's Friday, I'm 'working' from home. What are the odds I'll be in the pub by 1:00? Do you ever skive?
*Drinking tea and cruising midget granny porn sites
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Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 8:04,
131 replies,
latest was 10 years ago)
you don't strike me as a judge of sartorial elegance.
Trade shows, pity they work so well.
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d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 8:16,
Reply)
Not really judging elegance
As a company we don't do the suit & tie combo for work thing. Unfortunately lots of companies do expect it from their staff. A suit doesn't always look smart or businesslike, most of the ones I saw over the last few shows had seen better days.
You're right, trade shows work really well - we tend to get a few tyre kickers, cheeky student types* and brochure-collectors but, in general they're fun.
*I had one who wanted me to write a 2,000 word financial justification for the use of additive manufacturing in the fashion industry. When I asked if I could meet the buying committee or the main influencers for the purchasing project, he admitted there wasn't a purchase imminent, he didn't actually have a job in the fashion industry he just needed it for an essay on his business studies course.
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Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 8:34,
Reply)
I reckon that's an instance pass
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old man river possible lesbian, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 8:36,
Reply)
It was an instant 'not going to happen, nice try though' from me.
He got quite uppity and was 'going to report the incident' to my boss. Who was standing next to me laughing like a drain.
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Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 8:44,
Reply)
sounds like he's heading for a job in recruitment
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old man river possible lesbian, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 8:48,
Reply)
a job in recruitment a shitload of debt and the dole queue with the rest of the tens of thousands of 'business studies' graduates the universities are churning out every year
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Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 8:51,
Reply)
there's always KFC
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old man river possible lesbian, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 8:53,
Reply)
I used to go to Cannes a fair amount.
The trade shows were as thrilling as any others but it's an excellent place to live on expenses.
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old man river possible lesbian, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 8:21,
Reply)
yes, I bet the fashionista loved your bum bags and polyester
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d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 8:24,
Reply)
what?
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old man river possible lesbian, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 8:27,
Reply)
Something something pizza oven something about your kids
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 8:28,
Reply)
fat wife morgue wanker?
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old man river possible lesbian, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 8:31,
Reply)
the fall's snappily titled new album
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dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 8:41,
Reply)
I'd buy that.
Wait ... I have bought that.
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old man river possible lesbian, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 8:41,
Reply)
you being so stylish must have fitted in like a dream in the dowdy hell hole of Cannes.
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d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 9:08,
Reply)
I spend quite a lot of time there.
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old man river possible lesbian, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 9:09,
Reply)
You forgot the comedy t-shirt straining over a gunt
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rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 8:33,
Reply)
You're asking "Do you ever skive?" on here?
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 8:23,
Reply)
Yeah, I know - silly question
I think it must be 'Lynx poisoning' from yesterday at the Ricoh
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Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 8:25,
Reply)
Can't see Coventry City shifting many shirts with that surname on the back
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Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 8:45,
Reply)
sh L
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Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 8:47,
Reply)
the fuck is a Lirt?
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old man river possible lesbian, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 8:50,
Reply)
A colour coded warning system
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Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 8:52,
Reply)
I see what you did there
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Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 8:53,
Reply)
I'm basically the new Oscar Wilde
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old man river possible lesbian, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 8:54,
Reply)
flamboyantly bent and shortly to be imprisoned?
YES!
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dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 8:56,
Reply)
Gay AND Irish?
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Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 8:57,
Reply)
I'll bum you so I will to be sure.
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old man river possible lesbian, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 8:59,
Reply)
my industry's regulator take a dim view of lavish hospitality
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dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 8:30,
Reply)
"industry"? lol
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old man river possible lesbian, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 8:32,
Reply)
yes
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dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 8:38,
Reply)
when did services and overheads start referring to themselves as industries?
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old man river possible lesbian, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 8:41,
Reply)
financial planning is an industry mate
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dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 8:42,
Reply)
im pretty sure st james place and hargreaves lansdown are on your radar somewhere
Even if they are pricks.
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dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 8:44,
Reply)
sure yeah course deffo
like bin collection and libraries
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old man river possible lesbian, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 8:47,
Reply)
so upset and it isnt even nine ante meridiem
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dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 8:49,
Reply)
what?
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old man river possible lesbian, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 8:50,
Reply)
youre very upset very early in the morning
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dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 8:51,
Reply)
why would I be upset?
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old man river possible lesbian, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 8:52,
Reply)
you tell me m8, youre the one showing dangerous signs of online apoplexy
(
dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 8:53,
Reply)
what?
(
old man river possible lesbian, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 8:54,
Reply)
you heard pal
(
dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 8:55,
Reply)
bummers are deaf
(
dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 9:04,
Reply)
pardon?
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old man river possible lesbian, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 10:04,
Reply)
I live near Olympia. Hardly ever go, but see lots of those who do. The erotica show is the worst. Accountants in PVC, shudder
It's the ideal home show this weekend. Probably a bit less rubber wandering around kensington high street.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 8:36,
Reply)
I had a female lodger for a little while. she was a credit controller by day, by night a dominatrix with a speciality in electroshock.
Her partner was an instructor in asphyxiation techniques, and by day and night worked in a Soho sex shop. He was Dungeon Dave. Point is, OMG the outfits!!!
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d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 9:06,
Reply)
Always skive from meetings
waste of fucking time they are.
Went to a trade/exhibition show once, never again.
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$$ ✅, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 8:49,
Reply)
forgot the obligatory cheers:
Cheers
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$$ ✅, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 8:50,
Reply)
cheers
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old man river possible lesbian, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 8:51,
Reply)
I'm shaping up to be late for mine
The taxi driver spent ages bragging about his new sat nav. Now it's brought us a shit way. And he's still talking.
Worst of all the taxi driver traits.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 8:51,
Reply)
Sat nav? I thought those cunts prided themselves on having 'the knowledge'
(
Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 8:53,
Reply)
Addison lee innit
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 8:54,
Reply)
they normally only speak swahili #edgy
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 8:56,
Reply)
I'm working from home.
Well, I say working, I've logged in.
(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 9:04,
Reply)
Did the Ambex trade show for ambulance services and providers a couple of times
We were flogging our patient transport system and sussing out the competition. Got very very drunk several nights in a row.
Alt: Got the afternoon off as a mate has a morning meeting in London and then is free so there could well be some afternoon drinking in my immediate future. I'm skiving RIGHT NOW.
(
The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 9:25,
Reply)
did you end up legless for full irony points?
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old man river possible lesbian, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 9:30,
Reply)
Cheers
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 9:32,
Reply)
I struggled with morning demos on the second day
fortunately everybody else was in full zombie outbreak mode (shuffling around aimlessly, communicating in grunts)
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The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 10:02,
Reply)
Yes.
A lot of grey, overweight people who haven't got a clue about anything but can throw impressive-sounding numbers about and somehow spend thousands on 'entertaining' in a single night.
(
drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 9:40,
Reply)
It's terrifying how quickly they glaze over if they ask how something works and you tell them.
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drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 9:44,
Reply)
It was interesting watching their faces as they peered into a working 3D printer...
...and noting the reactions when we told them our company had been selling industrial 3D printers for over 20 years.
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Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 10:14,
Reply)
not ever done any trade shows,
But a restaurant I worked at was popular for the odd lunchtime meeting and office shindig. It was always around the time these companies were getting interns and uni work experience lot, that you'd see a raft of poorly fitted suits, probably bought for a one off wedding with a view to wearing it for their high flying job, but a couple of years of living alone and putting on weight eating take away had taken its toll on a range of straining buttons and trousers an inch too short.
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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 27 Mar 2015, 10:08,
Reply)
showing a bit of ankle is sexy as fuck
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dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 10:12,
Reply)
CRANLEY
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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 27 Mar 2015, 10:16,
Reply)
This describes my suit.
I've been meaning to get it altered.
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Slippery Mick ‏, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 10:16,
Reply)
phwoar
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old man river possible lesbian, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 10:20,
Reply)
colour is most important in a suit
black, navy, grey = fine, bordering on sexy.
brown or green = total tasteless prick.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 10:21,
Reply)
terrible bullying of the oirish
(
old man river possible lesbian, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 10:22,
Reply)
Nonsense, my brown pinstripe suit is cool as fuck.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 10:23,
Reply)
try dry cleaning it
it's probably grey underneath all the lentils
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rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 10:26,
Reply)
she wears glittery kids plimsolls, mate

(
old man river possible lesbian, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 10:26,
Reply)
they don't sell stuart weitzmans half price down lidl
so your ignorance is unsurprising
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rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 10:27,
Reply)
lol fat povvo
(
old man river possible lesbian, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 10:35,
Reply)
lol ugly man, ugly wife, ugly kids
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rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 10:36,
Reply)
that's not tangles
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rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 10:37,
Reply)
Grey's the most versatile as you can wear it to both weddings and funerals innit.
(
Slippery Mick ‏, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 10:24,
Reply)
best song discussing funerals
www.youtube.com/watch?v=eu_qjcsF6Gs
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Slippery Mick ‏, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 10:26,
Reply)
Where does burgundy corduroy fit into this?
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Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Fri 27 Mar 2015, 10:31,
Reply)
the bin.
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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 27 Mar 2015, 10:35,
Reply)
1972
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rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 10:37,
Reply)
Needlecord or jumbo?
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 10:39,
Reply)
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