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(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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After 4 days of trade shows I have a day working from home*
One was so bad we started to play 'spot the cheapest shoe/suit combo' and 'buzzword bingo' by reading the advertising banners and counting up how many times they could shoehorn the word 'solutions' into their brochures.
Do you ever attend trade shows? Have you ever manned a stand at one? Tell us your tales of badly-dressed overweight men in cheap shoes and overpowering aftershave.

Alt: It's Friday, I'm 'working' from home. What are the odds I'll be in the pub by 1:00? Do you ever skive?

*Drinking tea and cruising midget granny porn sites
(, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 8:04, 131 replies, latest was 6 years ago)
you don't strike me as a judge of sartorial elegance.
Trade shows, pity they work so well.
(, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 8:16, Reply)
Not really judging elegance
As a company we don't do the suit & tie combo for work thing. Unfortunately lots of companies do expect it from their staff. A suit doesn't always look smart or businesslike, most of the ones I saw over the last few shows had seen better days.
You're right, trade shows work really well - we tend to get a few tyre kickers, cheeky student types* and brochure-collectors but, in general they're fun.
*I had one who wanted me to write a 2,000 word financial justification for the use of additive manufacturing in the fashion industry. When I asked if I could meet the buying committee or the main influencers for the purchasing project, he admitted there wasn't a purchase imminent, he didn't actually have a job in the fashion industry he just needed it for an essay on his business studies course.
(, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 8:34, Reply)
I reckon that's an instance pass

(, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 8:36, Reply)
It was an instant 'not going to happen, nice try though' from me.
He got quite uppity and was 'going to report the incident' to my boss. Who was standing next to me laughing like a drain.
(, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 8:44, Reply)
sounds like he's heading for a job in recruitment

(, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 8:48, Reply)

a job in recruitment a shitload of debt and the dole queue with the rest of the tens of thousands of 'business studies' graduates the universities are churning out every year
(, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 8:51, Reply)
there's always KFC

(, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 8:53, Reply)
I used to go to Cannes a fair amount.
The trade shows were as thrilling as any others but it's an excellent place to live on expenses.
(, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 8:21, Reply)
yes, I bet the fashionista loved your bum bags and polyester

(, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 8:24, Reply)

(, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 8:27, Reply)
Something something pizza oven something about your kids

(, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 8:28, Reply)
fat wife morgue wanker?

(, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 8:31, Reply)
the fall's snappily titled new album

(, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 8:41, Reply)
I'd buy that.
Wait ... I have bought that.
(, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 8:41, Reply)
you being so stylish must have fitted in like a dream in the dowdy hell hole of Cannes.

(, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 9:08, Reply)
I spend quite a lot of time there.

(, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 9:09, Reply)
You forgot the comedy t-shirt straining over a gunt

(, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 8:33, Reply)
You're asking "Do you ever skive?" on here?

(, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 8:23, Reply)
Yeah, I know - silly question
I think it must be 'Lynx poisoning' from yesterday at the Ricoh
(, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 8:25, Reply)
Can't see Coventry City shifting many shirts with that surname on the back

(, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 8:45, Reply)

sh L
(, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 8:47, Reply)
the fuck is a Lirt?

(, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 8:50, Reply)
A colour coded warning system

(, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 8:52, Reply)
I see what you did there

(, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 8:53, Reply)
I'm basically the new Oscar Wilde

(, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 8:54, Reply)
flamboyantly bent and shortly to be imprisoned?
(, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 8:56, Reply)
Gay AND Irish?

(, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 8:57, Reply)
I'll bum you so I will to be sure.

(, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 8:59, Reply)
my industry's regulator take a dim view of lavish hospitality

(, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 8:30, Reply)
"industry"? lol

(, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 8:32, Reply)

(, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 8:38, Reply)
when did services and overheads start referring to themselves as industries?

(, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 8:41, Reply)
financial planning is an industry mate

(, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 8:42, Reply)
im pretty sure st james place and hargreaves lansdown are on your radar somewhere
Even if they are pricks.
(, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 8:44, Reply)
sure yeah course deffo
like bin collection and libraries
(, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 8:47, Reply)
so upset and it isnt even nine ante meridiem

(, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 8:49, Reply)

(, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 8:50, Reply)
youre very upset very early in the morning

(, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 8:51, Reply)
why would I be upset?

(, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 8:52, Reply)
you tell me m8, youre the one showing dangerous signs of online apoplexy

(, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 8:53, Reply)

(, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 8:54, Reply)
you heard pal

(, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 8:55, Reply)
bummers are deaf

(, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 9:04, Reply)

(, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 10:04, Reply)
I live near Olympia. Hardly ever go, but see lots of those who do. The erotica show is the worst. Accountants in PVC, shudder
It's the ideal home show this weekend. Probably a bit less rubber wandering around kensington high street.
(, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 8:36, Reply)
I had a female lodger for a little while. she was a credit controller by day, by night a dominatrix with a speciality in electroshock.
Her partner was an instructor in asphyxiation techniques, and by day and night worked in a Soho sex shop. He was Dungeon Dave. Point is, OMG the outfits!!!
(, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 9:06, Reply)
Always skive from meetings
waste of fucking time they are.
Went to a trade/exhibition show once, never again.
(, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 8:49, Reply)
forgot the obligatory cheers:
(, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 8:50, Reply)

(, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 8:51, Reply)
I'm shaping up to be late for mine
The taxi driver spent ages bragging about his new sat nav. Now it's brought us a shit way. And he's still talking.

Worst of all the taxi driver traits.
(, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 8:51, Reply)
Sat nav? I thought those cunts prided themselves on having 'the knowledge'

(, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 8:53, Reply)
Addison lee innit

(, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 8:54, Reply)
they normally only speak swahili #edgy

(, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 8:56, Reply)
I'm working from home.
Well, I say working, I've logged in.
(, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 9:04, Reply)
Did the Ambex trade show for ambulance services and providers a couple of times
We were flogging our patient transport system and sussing out the competition. Got very very drunk several nights in a row.

Alt: Got the afternoon off as a mate has a morning meeting in London and then is free so there could well be some afternoon drinking in my immediate future. I'm skiving RIGHT NOW.
(, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 9:25, Reply)
did you end up legless for full irony points?

(, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 9:30, Reply)

(, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 9:32, Reply)
I struggled with morning demos on the second day
fortunately everybody else was in full zombie outbreak mode (shuffling around aimlessly, communicating in grunts)
(, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 10:02, Reply)
A lot of grey, overweight people who haven't got a clue about anything but can throw impressive-sounding numbers about and somehow spend thousands on 'entertaining' in a single night.
(, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 9:40, Reply)
It's terrifying how quickly they glaze over if they ask how something works and you tell them.

(, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 9:44, Reply)
It was interesting watching their faces as they peered into a working 3D printer...
...and noting the reactions when we told them our company had been selling industrial 3D printers for over 20 years.
(, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 10:14, Reply)
not ever done any trade shows,
But a restaurant I worked at was popular for the odd lunchtime meeting and office shindig. It was always around the time these companies were getting interns and uni work experience lot, that you'd see a raft of poorly fitted suits, probably bought for a one off wedding with a view to wearing it for their high flying job, but a couple of years of living alone and putting on weight eating take away had taken its toll on a range of straining buttons and trousers an inch too short.
(, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 10:08, Reply)
showing a bit of ankle is sexy as fuck

(, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 10:12, Reply)

(, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 10:16, Reply)
This describes my suit.
I've been meaning to get it altered.
(, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 10:16, Reply)

(, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 10:20, Reply)
colour is most important in a suit
black, navy, grey = fine, bordering on sexy.

brown or green = total tasteless prick.
(, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 10:21, Reply)
terrible bullying of the oirish

(, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 10:22, Reply)
Nonsense, my brown pinstripe suit is cool as fuck.

(, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 10:23, Reply)
try dry cleaning it
it's probably grey underneath all the lentils
(, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 10:26, Reply)
she wears glittery kids plimsolls, mate

(, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 10:26, Reply)
they don't sell stuart weitzmans half price down lidl
so your ignorance is unsurprising
(, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 10:27, Reply)
lol fat povvo

(, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 10:35, Reply)
lol ugly man, ugly wife, ugly kids

(, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 10:36, Reply)

(, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 10:36, Reply)
that's not tangles

(, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 10:37, Reply)
Grey's the most versatile as you can wear it to both weddings and funerals innit.

(, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 10:24, Reply)
best song discussing funerals
(, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 10:26, Reply)
Where does burgundy corduroy fit into this?

(, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 10:31, Reply)
the bin.

(, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 10:35, Reply)

(, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 10:37, Reply)
Needlecord or jumbo?

(, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 10:39, Reply)

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