on Mormons
I'm living in the Deep South of the USA, and as such am surrounded by religious types. My mechanism for dealing with them is very much of the 'stick fingers in ears, say la la la, and pretend they aren't there' school, so imagine my surprise when two mormons (mormen?) accosted me at the bus stop yesterday.

Now, owing to my not feeling well at the time, I was clutching the bus stop to prevent me from having a sudden face-ground interaction, I couldn't escape, so I ended up chatting to these two missionaries for about half an hour.

In this time, they asked me why I am not religious (my answer: I'm a scientist, and cannot really believe in something I have no proof of), would I like to know more about mormonism (my answer: no), and would I like to join them for worship sometime (my answer: ha ha, you're joking, right?).

But the reason I am boring you with this is the single greatest question I have ever been asked by a religious twerp.

'So, in europe there is much less religion, why do you think that is? Is it because you're all smarter and more educated than we are?'

Bless her, the poor girl had no idea why I was struggling to keep a straight face.

Felt y'all would enjoy this wonderful attempt at converting a b3tan to a mormon.
( ascorbate, Mon 17 Nov 2008, 22:28, 10 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Dont we have loads of Catholics
and the Pope?

Possibly less Jews than we should do though..



Im so sorry
(i should have joined myspace, Mon 17 Nov 2008, 22:43, Reply)

Well the U.S is rubbing off on you...
I Quote "y'all" :)
(Miggyman, Mon 17 Nov 2008, 22:49, Reply)

Y'all
is a wonderfully warm reminder of Texas!

Whereabouts are you?
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Mon 17 Nov 2008, 22:58, Reply)

I totally missed the "y'all" in there!
I've been in the south my whole life and have only managed to meet 2 mormans........but I think they may have been fakes.

But in my town we are smothered in Baptists.
( flirting with badgers What? It sounded good at the time., Tue 18 Nov 2008, 0:26, Reply)

About 3 years
ago, a couple knocked on my door. They introduced themselves as "Elder Williams and Elder Scott" (or whatever the names were). I pointed out they both have the same firstname. They didn't get it.

They also had a glazed expression which you don't get with Jehovah's Witnesses. JWs tend to be eager and alert.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 2:28, Reply)

LOL!
Welcome to America!
( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 4:36, Reply)

I had a Jehovah's Witness
visit my door once.

He started asking similar questions, and when I mentioned I was an Atheist, he started asking me questions about Evolution in an "I'm trying to undermine your ideas" way, and asked this:

"So, if God created man, you and I are the provable result, what do you think the result of Evolution will be?"

I replied:

"Evolution is a constantly updating situation, it is forever improving, there will be no 'end' result"

He looked at me in surprise, chuckled, then continued to give me a copy of The Watchtower.
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 8:07, Reply)

Why does the phrase 'smothered in baptists' turn me on?
God! I need to get laid.
( girlinthehole, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 8:41, Reply)

No point asking Him...
He's too busy with all the smiting.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 10:49, Reply)

me and a few mates went camping in a remote glen off glencoe
on the saturday at around 1pm we spotted two women wandering down the track towards us - frumpy types

after a few pleasantries they hit us with it

jehovahs

in the middle of fucking nowhere

i informed them that this particular end on the glen was spiritually bereft apart from the white russians we were drinking - oh yes! and the only epiphany we might enjoy would be derived from the industrial fireworks and copious quantities of drugs we had set aside for that evening

they went away
( spimf ™ is whoever you want him to be, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 18:22, Reply)