Fuck off back to QOTW.

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 13:47, 94 replies, latest was 17 years ago)

NO!

(Fuckpig "That's not even a pound a midget.", Thu 11 Dec 2008, 13:47, Reply)

OK!

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 13:52, Reply)

Not heard of...
.... broswer tabs?
( Piper Alpha is being a grumpy northerm bastard on:, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 13:53, Reply)

*cries*
I just can't take this biting wit any more *jibbers*

Anyone want to buy a B3ta account? *sniff* Not many miles, one careful owner..?
(MrOli is ugly, but in the morning you will be sober, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 13:58, Reply)

*BALDMONKEY POWER STANCE*

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 11 Dec 2008, 14:11, Reply)

Is that the one
where you lie on your back with your ankles on your ears, or the one where you bend over and squirt a tube of KY up your bumhole?
(Bazongaloid, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 14:19, Reply)

JMG has posted.
Now the internet gets SERIOUS.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 11 Dec 2008, 14:30, Reply)

SERIOUS Gayer than Rik Waller's Mum's hair pie.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 14:58, Reply)

AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH

*wobbles*
(Bazongaloid, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 14:33, Reply)

JMG has posted....
Woo fucking hooo.
(i should have joined myspace, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 14:34, Reply)

*Internet based calming hand motions*
Calm down internet.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 11 Dec 2008, 14:38, Reply)

*internet based wanking hand motions*
Relax and have a wank internet.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 14:40, Reply)

*lolternet biased winking hound lotions*
Frankie say RELAX and GTFO internet.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 14:55, Reply)

I think I just worked it out
Is our favourite bald headed simian your little brother, Mr Geordie?

It's the only way you bigging up a 12 year old (fnar) to be "king of B3ta" makes sense.

Has he not clocked that you're taking the piss out of him yet?

Thankyou for involving us in your game, 'tis very entertaining :-)
(MrOli is ugly, but in the morning you will be sober, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 14:58, Reply)

I think it's just because they love each other
and there's nothing wrong with a geordie loving a monkey.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 14:59, Reply)

Ah, Georkey love.
The most honest kind of love there is.

You bring a tear to my (japs) eye, Bert :-)
(MrOli is ugly, but in the morning you will be sober, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 15:03, Reply)

UPSET, ONLINE

( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 15:01, Reply)

It was all calm before I posted.
:(

You people need to calm yourselves down, it's all looking very desperate.
You can't all be my internet friends.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 11 Dec 2008, 15:02, Reply)

Stop showing off.

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 11 Dec 2008, 15:03, Reply)

I had been under the impression
that it was Hartlepool that had the history with monkeys.
(darras jeg har en grevling i hodet. Grevling, grevlang, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 15:03, Reply)

JMG and baldmonkey
are like totally gay and that.

I bet you like looking at pictures of willies
(PsychoChomp, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 15:56, Reply)

bet fancy you like looking at pictures of willies m
(Bazongaloid, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 15:58, Reply)

I'm confused
I fancy m?

You're not making any sense, man.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 15:59, Reply)

It's a brand new /talk meme
Instead of saying your mum, we just say ym. It leads itself to even more amusing strikethrough jokes. You can make some quite complex ones.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 16:01, Reply)

I still dont understand
what's a /talk?
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 16:05, Reply)

a /talk
is a collection of people who are largely devoid of significant amounts of humor, however fun can be had by taking the opportunity to indulge your immature side and by make "your mum" jokes so often that it stops being tiresome and becomes funny.

Sometimes there are people which aren't tossers and are fun to just talk to about normal stuff.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 16:20, Reply)

I don't believe you
there's no such place, you're just making it up.

I can't imagine a /talker ever being funny, and I didn't come to b3ta to talk about normal stuff.

How's your scrotum?
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 16:22, Reply)

It's a bit itchy
It's quite warm under my desk, which has caused a little sweating.

How's your perineum?
(Bazongaloid, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 16:25, Reply)

It's lonely
it's been a long, long time since I've found anybody dirty enough to lick my gooch :(
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 16:40, Reply)

You should wash more thoroughly
or at least keep a flannel in your bedside cabinet.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 16:43, Reply)

My perineum is already lovely and clean
I wash it with Cillit Bang every night, it's a woman (or man) who's filthy enough to stick their nose up my backside and tongue around my bald patch that I need.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 16:47, Reply)

^ well, who doesn't? ^
6/10 for this trolling, baldmonkey must try harder
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 15:58, Reply)

Whats your favourite sort of willy Ms Swipe?

(Bazongaloid, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 16:00, Reply)

That's some good internet girl conversation al.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 16:01, Reply)

I've seen pictures
of her in real life. So if she tells me what sort of willies she likes, I can imagine that I had one of those willies and that she was liking it. Then I can do sex wees.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 16:02, Reply)

@al
At a guess, I'd say she likes 'em BIG.

Ladies like big cocks, but gigantic ones just hurt their cervix.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 16:04, Reply)

Have we trolled the trolls away?

(GloriaHull you puerile slack-jawed drooling meatslapper, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 16:05, Reply)

Probably not
They just don't have opinions about willies.

How do you feel about the cock Gloria?
(Bazongaloid, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 16:08, Reply)

Quite a fan of it, personally speaking
Without my own, I'd be bored!
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Thu 11 Dec 2008, 16:12, Reply)

Did I just read that right?

(GloriaHull you puerile slack-jawed drooling meatslapper, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 16:13, Reply)

I noticed...
...subtle "cock" references.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Thu 11 Dec 2008, 16:15, Reply)

Oh are we talking about cock again?

(Bazongaloid, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 16:18, Reply)

I think so...
...somebody started it. No idea who though.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Thu 11 Dec 2008, 16:35, Reply)

@ al
any that isn't attached to the forehead.

surprisingly hard to come by!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 16:35, Reply)

If I said I didn't like cock
would you hold it against me?
(MrOli is ugly, but in the morning you will be sober, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 16:36, Reply)

Yes
people who don't like cock deserve continual discouragement.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 16:40, Reply)

Am amused by thread. Please continue.

(GloriaHull you puerile slack-jawed drooling meatslapper, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 16:41, Reply)

*slaps head*
Al, I think he was asking you to hold your cock against him.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 16:42, Reply)

No he quite clearly wanted to know
that if he had negative feelings towards cock, would that be brought up on a regular basis in order to show him up. You've got to read between the lines Bert, it's not always so obvious.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 16:45, Reply)

Well, we would
but we've hit a stumbling block since we don't know your views on cock in general, and any specific cock you would care to elaborate on.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 16:43, Reply)

@al
She likes big cocks and she cannot lie,
you other brother's can't deny,
that when a girl walks in with a real cock taste and likes it in her face,
you get SPRUNG
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 16:45, Reply)

She wants to pull out their tough
'Cause she'll notice that her butt was stuffed
Deep with the cock she's wearing
she's hooked and can't stop staring
Oh Bert, she wants to get with you
And take your picture.

But not when he's dressed as Hitler.

Word.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 16:49, Reply)

I have been known to write about it on occasion.
PMSL at thread!
(GloriaHull you puerile slack-jawed drooling meatslapper, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 16:51, Reply)

Okay we'll move on
on the basis that in general you like the cock, but occasionally, just occasionally, you have the yearning for the clunge.

It's okay, there's a lot of us feel the same way.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 16:54, Reply)

Would be too easy to write about mimsy
However as PJM said I'd be lost without mine.
(GloriaHull you puerile slack-jawed drooling meatslapper, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 17:02, Reply)

I could do with a homing mimsy
to see me back safely from the pub on these dark, dark nights.
(MrOli is ugly, but in the morning you will be sober, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 17:07, Reply)

Hmmm...
...combine Sat Nav with Homing Mimsy and you have mimsy that can find you anywhere on the planet - accurate to within six feet.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Thu 11 Dec 2008, 17:09, Reply)

That's close enough for me
how about you?
(Bazongaloid, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 17:10, Reply)

I could do with a homing mimsy
so I didn't have to pay any attention to what I'm doing with my cock when I have naked sexytiem.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 17:09, Reply)

SHUT UP!
You're telling me that your Mrs doesn't have to guide it in for you most of the time?

No? Just me then? Oh.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 17:38, Reply)

No more than 6 feet away from mimsy, yet I can't even smell it?
Story of my life, PJM :-(
(MrOli is ugly, but in the morning you will be sober, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 17:17, Reply)

Hold on.
You've all stopped moaning and shouting at JMG for no reason since a girl showed up.
What gives? Internet groomers!


I haven't even called any of you fat during this post. Or insulted the Games Workshop look you may or may not have.


Am I going to have to post near GIRLS to get by on here?
I once knocked out Mr. T. Etc.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 11 Dec 2008, 17:26, Reply)

Dear Diary
Today althegeordie wrote me a special song, and I liked it lots because I love him. I don't know where he stole the lyrics from though.
I wonder what our babies would look like? I bet they'd be the most prettiest, cleverest babies in the world, and we could hide them in cupboards to raise MILLIONS like that Matthews bird.

PS JMG is a ferret-fisting lemonhead, and nobody likes him because he smells of gay and Asterix.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 17:30, Reply)

LOOK EVERYONE! ITS JMG!
Do you like mimsy JMG?
(GloriaHull you puerile slack-jawed drooling meatslapper, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 17:30, Reply)

No, avert your eyes at once!
For if you like directly at a JMG, you instantly become a follower of Graham Norton's nipple hair.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 17:32, Reply)

We'd have to set down some ground rules as per the "mimsy".
1) You wouldn't call it that any more as I'm not trying to think of a 8 year old's speech.
2) Point 1 again.
3) No gunting of the area at all.
4) No fat birds, in relation to point 3.
5) Point 2 again, relating us back to point 1.
6) No fat birds.
7) No internet seriouslys.
8) No fat birds.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 11 Dec 2008, 17:33, Reply)

Another hilarious post by JMG about fat people
I bet his face is as much of a clunge magnet as his personality is.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 17:36, Reply)

Just because I post on here, and fat people reply.
Doesn't mean you can blame me in front of people on the internet you are trying to impress, for every little thing that distresses you.
On the internet.


This is VERY shoddy bullying, why must you thick rims always wish to discuss me?
I'm very popular, etc.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 11 Dec 2008, 17:39, Reply)

It's just that the whole
'you're all fat' and 'I'm superior' thing got old faster than Honor Blackman.

I'm not bullying you, and I'm not distressed, I just think you're a bit of a cock.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 17:42, Reply)

It doesn't upset you, does it?
You're above it all, aren't you?


Why can't you let it go, then?
You come on here and call me names as quickly as you can.



Come on internet. Calm down, you big slab of misery!
You'll probably wish to discuss the times you bullied JMG at one of your b4shes. You can look really tough in front of girls, offline.

Embrace your superior, fatty! Etc.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 11 Dec 2008, 17:44, Reply)

I really am above it all
getting all het-up over it isn't going to do anybody any good.

I don't want to let it go, you're right, I could easily just click 'ignore', but I like responding to your posts because I know that you'll never come back with anything wittier than 'you're fat and I'm superior'.

I call you names because every time you're here you call everybody fat and claim that you're superior, and it's the most boring thing that I've ever read. I'm just trying to liven it up a little.

Lots of love, your superior, you thick-as-pig-shit internet fatty.
(Jam Mister Geordie wants to build bridges, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 17:49, Reply)

Hey!
Who wants to watch me harass some local schoolchildren?


Name calling.. Again.....
Tut. Tut. Tut.
(Jam Master etc, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 17:52, Reply)

Ahhh....
I'm sorry, I didn't mean to call you fat, or claim to be your superior, I was just copying somebody who thinks they're cool.

...and I didn't realise that you were a schoolchild, I should have guessed really.
(Jam Mister Geordie wants to build bridges, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 17:57, Reply)

JMG!!!!!! EVERYBODY JMG IS POSTING! LOOK!
1) I'm not fat
2) Do you like mimsy?
3) See above
(GloriaHull you puerile slack-jawed drooling meatslapper, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 17:44, Reply)

Are you just doing this now for JMGtention?!
You KNOW my no fat birds stance, and I don't want you linking back to these posts later on. Trying to make it appear we're cyber buddies.

The ugly people on /talk will have a field day if they think we're a hot item.
Online.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 11 Dec 2008, 17:46, Reply)

LETS DISCUSS JMG!
Does JMG like minge?

How does JMG's appreciation of minge affect your internet experience?

Do you have a fat minge that you'd like to discuss with JMG?

*Edit* Online
(GloriaHull you puerile slack-jawed drooling meatslapper, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 17:47, Reply)

Nope
JMG likes cock.

RIGHT up his rectum.
(Jam Mister Geordie wants to build bridges, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 17:50, Reply)

EVERYBODY LOOK AT HOW HILLOLARIOUS I AM!

(Jam Master etc, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 17:53, Reply)

Brilliant, isn't it?
This way I get to behave like a total cock, and nobody will care because they'll all just think it's you.
(Jam Mister Geordie wants to build bridges, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 17:58, Reply)

That'll fix everything. Won't it?
Three people on the internet confused at who's the real JMG, oblivious to the lack of donation icon, and the fact we haven't got the same name?
You do it till you drop. That'll fix all the internet tears and everything. You're yet another who's cloned my user name mid-wobble.

Most aren't stupid enough to leave their own name un-attended, mind.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 11 Dec 2008, 18:08, Reply)

Mnnnngggghhh!
You retard! I have more than one account, that's one that I never use.

Damn, I really thought that I still had everybody fooled. Silly me.
(Jam Mister Geordie wants to build bridges, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 18:10, Reply)

Thats a little harsh on JMG
JMG should be encouraged to state for once and for all:


Does

JMG

Like

Mimsy?


Online
(GloriaHull you puerile slack-jawed drooling meatslapper, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 17:55, Reply)

I don't think he does.
GOD I want to give Baldmonkey a handjob.
(Jam Master etc, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 17:56, Reply)

WHERE IS JMG? I WANT TO HEAR FROM JMG! ABOUT MIMSY

(GloriaHull you puerile slack-jawed drooling meatslapper, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 17:59, Reply)

/protracted talk for mongs

(Flid James carry on, mongs, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 18:02, Reply)

/protracted mong from /talk
(Jam Mister Geordie wants to build bridges, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 18:08, Reply)

and your point is?

(GloriaHull you puerile slack-jawed drooling meatslapper, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 18:04, Reply)

protected with both hands

(Flid James carry on, mongs, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 18:05, Reply)

Yep.
It's how we roll. And stuff.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 18:06, Reply)

I see a new b3ta romance
On the internet.

JMG and Gloria!

JMG clearly loves the mimsy and Gloria seems to be just his type....

Gloria, are you up to it?

;)
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 18:55, Reply)

The clucking lady is right
I ain't no fat bird.

Is JMG man enough?

Come on JMG, let's talk about JMG!
(GloriaHull you puerile slack-jawed drooling meatslapper, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 19:11, Reply)

I'm sorry Gloria
I just can't. It's been years since I've even been able to muster a semi, I've never satified a woman in my life... and ... and...

the only thing that turns me on now is wearing my baldmonkey mask while sticking my fingers up my anus, doing the dance to 'Saturday Night' by Whigfield, staring at myself in the mirror and screaming 'MUMMY NEVER LOVED YOU'
(Jam Mister Geordie wants to build bridges, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 19:17, Reply)

I'm nowhere near the internet, and come back to yet more lies on QOTW.
This time it's JMG based lies.

:(


Oh fat internet! Why must you sit in the house and have goes at JMG?
I can't help but be popular and correct in most situations.
:(
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 11 Dec 2008, 23:09, Reply)

I'm not having a go JMG
I want to hear more of your words of wisdom.

Online.
(GloriaHull you puerile slack-jawed drooling meatslapper, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 23:15, Reply)