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(I helped save b3ta! rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Morning all.

(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 7:57, 406 replies, latest was 16 years ago)
Good morning Lusty
It's fucking freezing here in deepest Warwickshire. -6 was the highest temperature I saw on my way in this morning.

Where's the fun in the cold though if it's not snowing?
(I helped save b3ta! rubberduck should only be used after consulting with your GP, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 8:03, Reply)
Morning Ducky.
*shivers*

It is a little bit chilly.
I think we should get naked and huddle together to keep warm.
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 8:08, Reply)
*nakeds*
*huddles*

Why is it though that at the slightest sign of sub-zero temperatures, the roads become plagued with morons who refuse to drive at more than 25mph anywhere? This isn't a twisty country lane or a crowded city-centre road either. It's a fast, wide, straight road through the countryside with a 60mph limit, that in theory *cough* is safe for 120mph+ in good conditions.

I wouldn't mind so much but it's been unusually dry overnight here so there wasn't even any frost or ice on the ground. Grrr.
(I helped save b3ta! rubberduck should only be used after consulting with your GP, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 8:12, Reply)
*joins the huddled masses*
It's fucking freezing out there today. Can't be doing with it.
(I helped save b3ta! fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 8:17, Reply)
It is indeed rather cold
Not the weather to be nipping out for a cig, I guess. Looks like I chose the right time to quit! Anyone's ears dropped off yet?
(I helped save b3ta! jim_bob can herd cats., Tue 6 Jan 2009, 8:21, Reply)
Hullo Becky!
*enjoys naked huddling muchly*

@Ducky. I don't know why people do that. Possibly fear that someone's filming them and if they slide about someone will post a video on youtube of their car bouncing off another like icy dodgems. While the Benny Hill theme tune plays over the top.
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 8:21, Reply)
I'm rather glad I've quit now
as it's too much of a faff to go upstairs, get my coat, come all the way down again etc... So until a few days ago I was going out in short sleeves to smoke and then wondering at the miracle of central heating when I came back into the building!
(I helped save b3ta! fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 8:24, Reply)
*joins huddling*
proper ice on the inside of my windscreen this morning...

too fucking cold!

passed some morons getting ready to go surfing on my way to work. I'm all for surfing when it's good, but when it's -4.5 out of the water it's just plain stupid!
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 8:28, Reply)
*fumes a bit*
I'm not a fucking receptionist, getting shouted at for someone elses fuckup is now what I'm here for. Fucker. *Wanders off to look at kittens*
(I helped save b3ta! fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 8:35, Reply)
Ok...
That doesn't sound good Becks. But I've been out running in similar to this when I was in the armed forces. Can't say as I enjoyed the experience mind.
(I helped save b3ta! jim_bob can herd cats., Tue 6 Jan 2009, 8:38, Reply)
@Vipros
That just sounds stupid! I'd rather stay all nice and warm and dry on a day like today.

@Becky. Give a kitten a cuddle from me!
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 8:39, Reply)
Morning all
*hugs*

It's too cold today, and they say it's going to get worse! I wish I could have stayed in bed.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 8:43, Reply)
Morning all!
It's actually warm here today. Which is an ass, it rained sludge all morning. Rain+snow together so everywhere is sludgy and naaasty. And when it turns cold again this evening itll turn into a giant city sized ice rink which I am not looking forward to traversing!

Shucks..
(darras jeg har en grevling i hodet. Grevling, grevlang, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 8:44, Reply)
Meh he's gone
and apologised for being a dick as it clearly wasn't my fault. This is why I hate having locums that don't know how to operate a computer properly. They fuck up appointments and then don't tell anyone they don't know what they're doing.

Very cute kittens though :)
(I helped save b3ta! fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 8:45, Reply)
Ah, get your skates on
And happy days!
(I helped save b3ta! jim_bob can herd cats., Tue 6 Jan 2009, 8:46, Reply)
Morning guys
It's lovely and cold *happies* My favourite weather at the moment - cold and dry.

I've had Cecilia stuck in my head for about 5 days now. I'm at a point where I think I'm sick of it but still have bridge over troubled water playing in the car.

3.5 hours sleep last night so my sleeping is getting better =D
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 8:47, Reply)
woo
good work on the sleeping V.

I shall get my skates out, tomorrow! Hurrah :) and possibly my snowboard again.. *ponders* does anyone have anything interesting to do today?
(darras jeg har en grevling i hodet. Grevling, grevlang, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 8:50, Reply)
You git
Now I have that bloody song in my head.
(I helped save b3ta! jim_bob can herd cats., Tue 6 Jan 2009, 8:51, Reply)
Morning all
suck it in you wussies, it's only a bit nippy out.

I skipped to work in naught but my jammies and a flat cap...

=)
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 8:53, Reply)
piston_broke
shame you got the linky wrong there... ;-)

himjim: silence!
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 8:56, Reply)
Jim
I call shenanigans!
(I helped save b3ta! jim_bob can herd cats., Tue 6 Jan 2009, 8:57, Reply)
@himjim
Are you just trying to avoid the naked cuddling?
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 9:02, Reply)
No, I quite fancy a bit of naked cuddling
I could share all my body heat with you.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 9:04, Reply)
Hurrah!
Jump on board, so to speak.
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 9:05, Reply)
Naked
Where?

Nice PJs Jim.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 9:06, Reply)
Morning folks!
Our phone lines are down, so we've diverted all calls to my mobile, meaning no b3tafuntiem today :(

Catch y'all after 3pm I suppose!

*gets pad and pens out*
*starts doodling*
(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 9:09, Reply)
*calls No3l*
Can you feign a family emergency (in my family) and pick me up from work urgently?
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 9:13, Reply)
Bye bye No3l
It's lovely and quiet in my office at the moment. I'm making the most of it as the one who likes to talk a lot is in at 10.

*afraids*
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 9:15, Reply)
Revels in the new heat created
Woo hoo I have a working heater out here now!
(I helped save b3ta! fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 9:16, Reply)
You need a beard lusty
Like carpet and soft furnishings they absorb sound and make the surroundings quieter. That's why my hearing is piss poor.*

*may contain traces of lie
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 9:16, Reply)
argh!
fucking cleaners keep hiding my damn bin! I don't appreciate having to search for it with a hot teabag in hand.. grr.
(darras jeg har en grevling i hodet. Grevling, grevlang, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 9:17, Reply)
Darras
Maybe you should look for it before you make yourself a cuppa.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 9:19, Reply)
@Captain V
Can't you just come round and everytime she opens her mouth to talk I just place you infront of me to use as some kind of beardy barrier?
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 9:19, Reply)
Perhaps Dok
but you wouldn't have thought cleaners would hide a bin would you?

Perhaps it's some kind of power to the cleaning nation thing they have going on.. But it's pissing annoying.
(darras jeg har en grevling i hodet. Grevling, grevlang, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 9:21, Reply)
I'd probably get fired
For not being at work repeatedly but otherwise I would Lusty. Unless you fancy offering to pay me more than I currently earn?
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 9:23, Reply)
The Cleaners here
constantly hide bins, or move them a foot from where I like it to be.

This causes much frustratiion when I throw stuff on the floor!

It must be a power thing.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 9:27, Reply)
@Captain V
I can afford to pay you in cups of tea and cuddles but not real money.

*Will be an unemployed bum as of Friday*

Sorry :(
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 9:27, Reply)
Dok
it's a world wide conspiracy! Damn those cleaners and their small pleasures..
(darras jeg har en grevling i hodet. Grevling, grevlang, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 9:27, Reply)
But Lusty love
think of the fact that you wont have to listen to that awful woman everyday anymore :) That's gotta be a good thing right? Have you signed up to any agencies yet?
(I helped save b3ta! fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 9:28, Reply)
Jobless bummage
seems to be the way to go indeed.. Or you could all get a job like mine which is entertaining and yay with bosses who knowingly let you go on msn and the internetz all day.
(darras jeg har en grevling i hodet. Grevling, grevlang, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 9:29, Reply)
Tea!
Keep that vile liquid away from me! *enrages*

*loves Lusty really*

:edit: Darras, in the nicest possible way, I hate you.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 9:29, Reply)
V
so long as it's in a nice way I can live with the hatred :)

And CU, I have days when norwegian is not my strong point either :/ Like yesterday, that was painful on the brain.
(darras jeg har en grevling i hodet. Grevling, grevlang, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 9:31, Reply)
Becky
That feeling is worth more than all the money in the world!

My agency knows I'm going to be available again. I'll sign up to a more local agency on Monday me thinks.

I am considering just making up stories and sending them into Love it! magazine to see if they'll publish them.
My boyfriend likes dressing up as a giraffe to please me*...That kind of thing. I figure there must be a few hundred quid in that story.
Does anyone want to help me ?

*This never actually happened
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 9:32, Reply)
Lusty
That would be the most awesome way to earn a living ever! Do it :D
(darras jeg har en grevling i hodet. Grevling, grevlang, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 9:33, Reply)
Poor CUs Postman.
My job also mostly entails sitting on the interwebz all day.

If the boss won't give me any work what else am I supposed to do!

EDIT Lusty, you could also make up stories and send them into porno mags. I hear they pay well.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 9:34, Reply)
CU
That is genius! I love how your mind works. I'm worried they'd want to see pictures of the baby though.

*shouts*
Oi! Captain V. Do you want to dress as a baby for photos with me? There's a fiver in it for you.
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 9:38, Reply)
Oh dear god I'm bored
Been here for an hour and a half and I've got 10 and a half hours to go til I can bugger off home. I hate long shift days :(

You'll get snapped up no probs Lusty, but the stories sound like a lot of fun to do too. Maybe do accompanying photos with masks...:)
(I helped save b3ta! fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 9:39, Reply)
But Why
would anybody in their right mind want to go on Jeremy Kyle?
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 9:42, Reply)
12 hour shift
bex?? what do you do?
(darras jeg har en grevling i hodet. Grevling, grevlang, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 9:42, Reply)
*dons outfit*
WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!





WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 9:43, Reply)
Morning all
Bloody cold here this morning... -10 in the car at 8.45am!

Not sure about last night but I know the night before that the coldest place in the country was about 20 miles from me. Haven't had any bloody snow though.

@ lusty - good idea, but I'm pretty sure that most if not all of them will just be written by people at the magazine, I know someone who used to work for one!
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 9:44, Reply)
*lays charges*
*blows hole in wall*

*enigmatically steps in through the dust*

Morning all! Tea?
(I helped save b3ta! Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 9:46, Reply)
I've been to watch it as well CU, my sister's old housemate was a runner at the studio
Quite a good laugh for a day out if you get half cut first and sneak a hip flask in with you!

Edit: yes please Tights, strong with a dash of milk, no sugar.
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 9:46, Reply)
CU
That sounds like an excellent reason to be on his show to me.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 9:46, Reply)
V
You'd make a very convincing baby.*

Morning Sam, it sounds a tad chilly over by you.



*may contain traces of lie!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 9:47, Reply)
@becky
I know a few people who've sold stories to magazines before and ended up getting £1000 each.

I nearly gave a shopkeeper a heart attact by shouting "Jesus titty christ" really loudly when I spotted a picture of my friend on the cover of a magazine above the headline
MY BROTHER STOLE MY LESBIAN LOVER
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 9:47, Reply)
Geek question for the day
If anyone can find me a half height AGP graphics card with a HDMI output, I'll add you to the list of people I owe pints to.

If you didn't understand the above, please ignore this message entirely.

(I'm only aware of one model of card with these specifications, and I can't find it in stock anywhere)
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 9:49, Reply)
CU
It's the money, isn't it.

I've watched it once and thought that the man had no redeeming features at all.

Now thats a good idea for one of his shows, 'The Death of Jeremy Kyle'.

EDIT Morning DiT, nice entrance!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 9:50, Reply)
Morning all!
I am in fact watching Jeremy Kyle as we speak. I find it to be much more interesting than the large amounts of revision that I should be doing. He isn't shouting much today though so far =(

It looks cold outside. No snow, just freaking cold, and I need to walk into town later. My body may not like this.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 9:50, Reply)
I think most of those magazines usually pay around £250 per story
but will pay more if you make it juicy...

I'm a vet nurse Darras, should be here til 4, but I owe some time back and I'm running puppy school this evening instead of going out and having fun like I should.

Nice entrance DiT ,)
(I helped save b3ta! fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 9:53, Reply)
Mind Weasels Possessed My Unborn Child!
Morning my dear underlings.
I've just been given lots of work to do, which just makes me want to procrastinate even harder.
I played the Nazi Zombies bit on Call Of Duty last night, it was great fun!
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 9:58, Reply)
Thank you!
I do try.

Anyway, tea! Tea for all! Tea in our time! People of the World!

*hands around tea*
(I helped save b3ta! Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 9:58, Reply)
Kaol
were you given a mission that you couldn't turn down?
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 10:02, Reply)
Fuck fuck fuck fuck.
The new talker just told me she's on her period.

I think I've got another minge lover.

Do I have a sign on my face that says "please talk to me about your womb"?

I really don't understand it.
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 10:02, Reply)
Oh Well
He has nothing gong for him, not even looks. He's just a po-faced ejit!

EDIT Morning Kaol, I was plaing F.E.A.R. last night.

Lusty, where do all these women live, none that I know want to talk to me about their minge. :(
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 10:03, Reply)
sorry lusty
but I just laughed so hard at that I nearly had tea come out of my nose :/
(darras jeg har en grevling i hodet. Grevling, grevlang, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 10:06, Reply)
Lusty
tell her you haven't got any ovaries. She'll shut up straight away.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 10:06, Reply)
Lusty
This will take your mind off that nasty period talk.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 10:06, Reply)
Yes indeed, my dear Mr. Vipros :D
So... All this talk of quitting smoking... Who's still sucking the cancer-sticks?
Or is it just gonna be me standing outside at bashes?

EDIT: FEAR is great :D
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 10:07, Reply)
Lusty
I thought you might like to know. I'm not on my period :)
(darras jeg har en grevling i hodet. Grevling, grevlang, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 10:09, Reply)
Hello Kaol
I'm still smoking.

I'm still enjoying it.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 10:10, Reply)
I'm still smoking
kind of...

most of my accomplices are giving up though, including Mrs V.

admittedly some of them are giving up in preparation for IVF, but it's still annoying!
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 10:10, Reply)
Good morning all
Is everyone sticking to their resolutions?

I resolved to be more punctual this year, blown completely out of the water already by National Express (it's quicker by snail) who managed to break loads of trains this morning.

@Lusty I couldn't help but notice references to minge. Are you being stalked by ladies in comfortable footwear?
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Tue 6 Jan 2009, 10:10, Reply)
Kaol
Nope I'm still smoking, but I have been told I have to give up!

Hi PJM, didn't make any so I'm still keeping them.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 10:14, Reply)
Ah, Jim, Mr. V, good stuff!
PJM, I've not had a drop of alcohol since the 30th.
So, yeah, I'm sticking to mine :)

EDIT: Ah, Dok too! Is it an age thing? :p
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 10:15, Reply)
I'll stand out in the cold smoking with you Kaol
My resolution is actually to smoke more.
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 10:16, Reply)
Morning PJM
It's always nice to see others hating trains too.

My new years resolution is not to buy any guitars this year. So far, so good.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 10:16, Reply)
Thanks darras!
She just came out and said "I'm on my period."

I have no idea what relevance that has to me asking her if she'd like a cup of tea.

Fucking hell, it really says something when you have to talk to people on the internet to have a normal conversation.
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 10:17, Reply)
Oooh...
TGB! What a lovely surprise!

I've decided to switch to silver Luckies for a while, and see what happens.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 10:17, Reply)
Morning.
It's my last day off today. Tomorrow I shall be back in the dungeon of only-work-related-internet-usage.

"We're very pleased to see that this month your internet usage is down from 41 hours to 15 hours but that's still three times the next highest person."

I just have an inquisitive nature.
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 10:18, Reply)
I'm always a lovely surprise!
*hugs and snogs everyone*
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 10:19, Reply)
Pfft!
I can just imagine the conversation:

"Good morning, can I get you a tea?"

"I'm up on the blocks you know"

I'm going to try and be less offensive with my sense of humour. One of the guys in my office has a cold and complains his bin is full of loo roll. I countered that it looks like a "teenager's bedroom floor".

No-one laughed.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Tue 6 Jan 2009, 10:19, Reply)
Ning, PJM
I outlined my resolutions yesterday. Still sticking to 'em!

I see people are playing computer games. I am rather a big fan of Little Big Planet at the moment. I really must get back to shooting zombies in the face...

EDIT: Pfft! I did!
(I helped save b3ta! Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 10:19, Reply)
*hugs and snogs TGB*
*is glad to see someone who isn't claiming they're going to give up smoking*

Edit: I laughed as well PJM!
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 10:20, Reply)
Kaol
Nope it was the doctor, but she keeps telling me that I should stop, but I just can't be bothered.

I really should though with the amount of heart attacks and strokes that have killed people in my family!

Hi Badger *Huggles*
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 10:22, Reply)
@CU
seconded. I love that euphemism!
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Tue 6 Jan 2009, 10:26, Reply)
My grandad died of a heart attack
And I get palpitations sometimes, and have high blood pressure. But I bloody love smoking, it's one of my few pleasures in life :S

I reckon I could easily give up the fags if I didn't smoke weed, but I don't have a chance in hell of giving that up, so my nicotine addiction also has to remain.

Every time (twice) I've tried to give up smoking fags I end up smoking 30 joints a day, which is the textbook definition of a Pyrrhic victory I think.
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 10:26, Reply)
I've not played many games lately,
But I went to see some mates last night, and we played the newest Call Of Duty on the PS3.
I hadn't played it before, but I enjoyed it!

And I had a go at online stuff on it, and came first, which was a nice surprise :D

I've got coffee and an orange. Oh, and listening to the new AC/DC album for the first time. Not bad, pretty much as I expected.

EDIT: Dok, be careful, I prefer you alive to dead :)
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 10:27, Reply)
But Kaol
We could grind his bones to make our bread!
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 10:30, Reply)
Shut it retard :p
Nah, that's what children are for.
I love orphans.
Nobody misses them :D
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 10:31, Reply)
*is too retarded to be upset*
*dribbles*
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 10:32, Reply)
computer games
*snores loudly*

*hugs Dok* Try not to die, we're all quite fond of you :p
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 10:32, Reply)
Haha!
*pats you on your retarded head*
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 10:33, Reply)
What is a "vaporiser"?
Sounds like something Captain Kirk keeps in his belt.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Tue 6 Jan 2009, 10:36, Reply)
I have tried the vaporiser route
(I made my own, they are well expensive to buy) and it just results in smoking about an ounce and a half of weed a week!

Same with bongs etc, I really do prefer smoking joints above all else.

I love smoking fags as well...

Edit: @ PJM - possibly NSFW, depending on the strictness of your IT policy...
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 10:38, Reply)
Is anyone else
getting badgered to attend rallies protesting about "evil Israel" and let's save the "poor victim" Palestine?
(darras jeg har en grevling i hodet. Grevling, grevlang, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 10:38, Reply)
Yes darras
I was in Yorkshire over New Year and some people tried to rope me into a rally.

I've never seen the point of standing by the side of a road waving banners at cars about something that's happening thousands of miles away, I'm much more of a direct action sort of person.

From your quote marks I'm guessing you don't agree with the popular 'Israel as oppressor' opinion then?
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 10:40, Reply)
There's always electronic cigarettes
They're the wave of the future
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 10:43, Reply)
vaporisers
singer in my band had one after his lung collapsed and he got too fat from eating hash cake.

it's just not as nice as smoking a joint

or a bong

and sam is right, you cane through the weed
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 10:43, Reply)
Well
considering that Palestine citizens voted Hamas in, Hamas have been provoking this war for a very long time. It goes back past Hamas but Im not that well informed about pre Hamas.. Still. Israel have said that they'll stop if Palestine stop sending badly constructed mortars into civilian areas of Israel.

I do think the blockades are a bit out of order. But Israel as oppressor? No.

Im getting a bit peeved at that media take, and the rally invitations..
(darras jeg har en grevling i hodet. Grevling, grevlang, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 10:43, Reply)
Ah! I see
You imbibe the Class C goodness without having to inhale tar and nicotine?

God, my THC days are long past. I've never been a great partaker, last time I tried it I only had a few puffs and ended up having a massive whitey.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Tue 6 Jan 2009, 10:44, Reply)
I love the look
of those electric smokes.

Darras, you make it sound like getting Badgered is a bad thing ;)
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 10:44, Reply)
weed helps me sleep
that's my excuse and I'm sticking to it ;-)

Sam: know anything about the Fender Hot Rod amps?

seems to fit what I'm looking for pretty exactly. not had a chance to try one properly yet though....
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 10:45, Reply)
TGB
it's only a good thing when you're the one badgering ;) *smarm*
(darras jeg har en grevling i hodet. Grevling, grevlang, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 10:45, Reply)
Hurray for smokes!
No to fighting terrorism with terrorism.
But hurray for normal fighting.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 10:45, Reply)
Middle East
The Palestinians have bugger all choice really, they are treated like shit in the West Bank thanks to Israeli sanctions and roadblocks.

However, I don't see how rocket attacks on Israeli civillians furthers their cause.

Seeing as the British helped create the mire that is Israel/Palestine, the least we can do is to try and help resolve the conflict.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Tue 6 Jan 2009, 10:46, Reply)
Middle East conflict
Here's a controversial and thought provoking question (that I don't know the answer to) - Were there more Jews alive before Hitler's regime was defeated than people killed in the Middle East conflicts since the end of WWII?

/hides from hatred
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 10:48, Reply)
Stupid question...
But what are you left with after smoking week with a vaporiser?
What does it look like?
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 10:48, Reply)
Hurrah!
for britain :p
(darras jeg har en grevling i hodet. Grevling, grevlang, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 10:49, Reply)
@TGB
The electric fags almost makes me wish I hadn't managed to give up without one. Imagine being able to sit in a pub with a fag and a pint again. Bliss!

must keep thinking fags are bad though.
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 10:49, Reply)
Kaol
if memory serves it's just a dense little bit of ash, almost like the ash on the end of a cigar or something
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 10:51, Reply)
the smoking inside again
would be awesome. Maybe I'll request one for my birthday :p
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 10:51, Reply)
For fucks sake.
She will NOT STOP TALKING!

*head explodes*
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 10:53, Reply)
I'm not bothered about having to smoke outside.
I'm looking forward to the Summer when I can blow smoke at non-smokers, and laugh.
They sent us outside, so they can deal with it.

EDIT: I meant that more in jest than aggressively. Whoops!
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 10:54, Reply)
*puts Lusty's head back together*
*gives gift of earmuffs*

hehehe I said muff
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 10:55, Reply)
Middle East II The Wrath of Knesset
The British promised Zionist Jews their own homeland in Palestine in return for their support during WW2. The Zionist movement (ie Jews and non Jews in favour of a Jewish homeland) has been strong in Britain thanks to the anglo-Jewish aristocracy.

However, Britain also promised Palestinian Arabs security in return for their support during WW2.

Jewish terrorists in the immediate post war period owed their tactics to their training in British commando units.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Tue 6 Jan 2009, 10:57, Reply)
Muffs
@Lusty - is this another temp?
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Tue 6 Jan 2009, 10:58, Reply)
Two friends
Who are "giving up in the New Year but not straight away" are seriously considering going the electric cigarette route. I may have been pushing the idea since I bought one, but succeeded in kicking the habit by the time it arrived. So I'm trying to get one of them to buy it off me.
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 10:59, Reply)
hehe muff.
*laughs*

This woman is a retard.

@PJM. This is the woman who's taking my job! I'm meant to be training her up, but I've given up because she won't SHUT HER FACE FOR 30 SECONDS to let me explain anything.
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 11:01, Reply)
Hmm...
Is it poison-in-the-coffee time?
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 11:03, Reply)
Morning everyone!
Good morning everyone.

How are we all this fine Tuesday morning?
(bill, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 11:04, Reply)
The Landlord of a pub I know
has lock-ins every now and then so his favourite customers can smoke

the man is a legend
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 11:05, Reply)
See how far you can go 'lusty
Get a piece of paper, cut out a face shaped hole, hold it in front of her, then draw things on it like horns or a beard.

I may have spent to much time on my own studying. Stupid revision.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 11:05, Reply)
Sorry about that folks
Work got in the way of my B3tatime!

Kaol, I prefer me alive as well. Made some inroads on the healthy side though, dropped about 2 stone in the last 3 months, cut down on my drinking (when I'm not at bashes), and cut down a bit on the smoking (again when not at bashes).
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 11:06, Reply)
V
My local does that most nights! :-)
(bill, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 11:06, Reply)
*waves madly at Bill*
I'm cold and really should be working. All this talk of smoking has made me think I may go outside for one....
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 11:07, Reply)
*Waves Madly Back*
*Snogs*

Go on, have one!
(bill, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 11:07, Reply)
I don't doubt that Hamas have been provoking Israel
but as the bigger, richer, and significantly better armed side I believe the onus is on Israel to be the bigger man and try for some sort of solution.

Agreed Hamas have been attacking them with rockets, but sending your entire army in is a bit of a mountain/molehill or sledgehammer/nut scenario in my book.

It's not so much six of one and half a dozen of the other as nine of Israel and three of Palestine.

Vipros - yeah they're good man, they're basically the Blues Deluxe with different valves aren't they? Only thing is I think they start at a 40W which may be OTT for you, I think you'd get better tone out of a 15W if you're going to be able to mic up as you mentioned...

I was in a pub at New Year where we could smoke in the band's dressing room - good idea since it was -5 outside!
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 11:08, Reply)
mm
I agree that Israel did not react in a constructive or right way. They can be the big bad for that. But Palestine is not the poor little victim that the media is portraying them as either.

They both need a good smacking.
(darras jeg har en grevling i hodet. Grevling, grevlang, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 11:14, Reply)
Hmm...
I don't know enough about the Israel/Palestine situation to comment really.
I'm glad I'm not there though.

What we really need is an alien attack, to unite humanity behind a common flag.
The flag of Kaol, Supreme Leader Of Earth.
Fighting alien scumbags since 2005.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 11:15, Reply)
They'd have to be fairly crap aliens
to avoid the danger of them actually winning.

Perhaps we could arrange for their computers to be windows-compatible?
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 11:17, Reply)
Kaol
If that was to happen, the Arabs would blame the Jews, the Americans would blame the Russians, the Russians would blame the rest of the world and the British would just sit there and do what the Yanks told them too!

I myself am all for a cull of about 80% of the worlds population. It would solve a lot of problems!

EDIT Chains, I'm glad I use Macs then!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 11:18, Reply)
If they've got
Windows-compatible computers, I don't see them being able to actually reach Earth, let alone invade properly.

I was thinking something along the lines of semi-hostile helium-sac jellyfish type things.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 11:19, Reply)
Kaol
Perhaps an alien race that is allergic to water..
(darras jeg har en grevling i hodet. Grevling, grevlang, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 11:21, Reply)
"Surrender, Earthmen..."
Or we shall wobble at you menacingly.
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 11:21, Reply)
Daras...
Allergic to water would be good, I think the atmosphere would be enough to kill 'em.

Extreme thread-crossover-action... Here!
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 11:24, Reply)
Why
Would any self respecting alien race want to invade this insignificant planet?

They'd just look at us and decide to wait untill we destroyed ourselves then take the planet.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 11:24, Reply)
The next time aliens invade,
I hope they're randy and all-powerful.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 11:25, Reply)
Drixy
What do you mean 'next time'?

We're still trying from the last time!

Morning BTW
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 11:27, Reply)
Google randy aliens
Results 1 - 10 of about 2,410,000

That's a lot of spacesmut.

Edit: I google so you at work don't have to.
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 11:30, Reply)
Hmmm
I wonder if this is such a good idea- deciding to take up rock climbing again. I've found a centre, found a course to go on, but I am hovering over the book button on the website... I wonder why?
(I helped save b3ta! jim_bob can herd cats., Tue 6 Jan 2009, 11:32, Reply)
*lies back*
*awaits invasion*
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 11:32, Reply)
Now do it as an image search
With safe-search off :p
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 11:32, Reply)
I remember
seeing some weird alien animated porn where they had weird dildo arms.

Watching weird porn so you don't have to.
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 11:33, Reply)
*invades clendrix*
I know I'm not an alien, but I'd still like a piece.

*rubs thighs*

*winks*
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 11:34, Reply)
Re. Windows computers
www.theregister.co.uk/2009/01/05/windows_for_warships_hits_type_23s/

All the people who slag it off just don't know how to set it up...
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 11:35, Reply)
Lusty is my favourite alien!
*fondles her strange tentacles*
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 11:35, Reply)
I think of them
As like jellyfish.
With gas-sacs.
So that they can float around.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 11:35, Reply)
Fortunately
the fact that "Randy" is British means that even putting "randy aliens" in quotes doesn't get you anything NSFW.

"Horny aliens" on the other hand... shudder
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 11:36, Reply)
Giraffes?
CU that's just strange!

Drixy, if there are randy aliens here on Earth I'll send them in your direction OK.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 11:38, Reply)
We might not even be able to see aliens
They might exist as clouds of charged particles, or only be visible in the 5th dimension, or something.

It's just endless sci fi shows with shit SFX budgets that have decreed we all think of them as being biped and humanoid in shape!
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 11:39, Reply)
Horny aliens
Hmm... All over body hair? Slimy tentacles? Superior attitude to puny humans?

Sounds familiar, I've dallied with all sorts during my heavy drinking clubbing in Colchester days.

Piss-poor disco lighting has much to answer for.

Thankfully I'm cavorting with a much better class of lady these days. *waves in the direction of Canterbury*
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Tue 6 Jan 2009, 11:40, Reply)
hee-hee...horny!
Horned Frogs are my new favourite thing (after goats).
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 11:40, Reply)
*makes happy alien noises*
*lady alien spluffs*

Now for the post interspecies lesbian sexitiem cuddles.

*cuddles clendrix*
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 11:43, Reply)
As long as aliens
arrive in a giant magenta cock shaped ship I don't care what they look like
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 11:44, Reply)
Sam
Can't see the cloud alien working very well.

Aliens would need to have some things in common with us, like digits for manipulating things, but in no way would they look like us, IMHO.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 11:45, Reply)
Haha!
Horned frogs are awesome!
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 11:45, Reply)
@Kaol
That frog looks a bit like hypnotoad!
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 11:46, Reply)
HeHe
I've got a couple of those in the shed, there great!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 11:47, Reply)
Yeah :D
Hmm... I need to go and paint some lines on the floor.
But it's cold. I'll do it this afternoon.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 11:48, Reply)
*Grammar Badger's Dok*
They're
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 11:49, Reply)
Aliums
They'll obviously be octopuses with wings.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 11:49, Reply)
it's big and magenta
and a spaceship.

Any similarity otherwise is up to you.
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 11:49, Reply)
Kaol
there are some aliens in an Iain M Banks book who are called Affronters who are kind of like tentacled gas sacks. They are also violent and belligerant. You'd like them ;-)

can't remember which book off hand....

edit: that horned frog looks exactly like hypnotoad!
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 11:50, Reply)
Oh Badger thanks.
I missed that one, some twunt was talking to me in the office!

Not going to change it though, PTHTHTHTHTHTH.

EDIT Vipros, the book is called Excession, I'm reading it at the moment. I like the Affronters.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 11:51, Reply)
But why would they need fingers to manipulate things?
That's just based on our particular paradigm of existence.

They may be non-carbon-based lifeforms who've evolved in a totally different way, and use telepathy and teleportation to control things and move about...
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 11:52, Reply)
Maybe Dok meant
that it's great that they're out there in the shed.
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 11:53, Reply)
Vipros...
They sound cool!
Have they got stingers?

Sam, what would the bio-physics basis of telekinesis be though? Just because they'd be non-carbon-based, they'd have to conform to some parameters...
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 11:53, Reply)
Kaol!
How funny - that's the exact same picture I chose for my background!

*wants horned frog as pet*
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 11:53, Reply)
They're actually pretty easy
To keep as pets, as I'm sure Dok would agree :)
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 11:55, Reply)
What would you call your frog?
Light those spaceships are really weird and slightly scary. And slightly erotic I'll admit...
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 11:56, Reply)
Wow
You can have them as pets!!

*gets out Switch card*
*remembers it has no money on it*
*returns card to wallet and weeps at the lack of a pet frog*
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 11:56, Reply)
Sam
If they used telepathy then they would only need to be a floating brain, not a good look in a survival sense, too squishy.

Didn't say fingers, Octopuses manipulate things quite well with only tentacles.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 11:57, Reply)
My frog
would be called Nog.

I love him and I don't even have him.
*cries*
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 11:58, Reply)
*Breaks trance*
Thanks for the hypnotoad.

According to Arthur C Clarke, Jupiter could be populated with vacuous gas filled non-sentient creatures (a little bit like Kerry Katona) that float in the atmosphere and hunt their prey by stunning them with bolts of electricity.

Scientists speculate that life could exist under the ice of Europa. It's probably more advanced than Kerry Katona.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Tue 6 Jan 2009, 11:58, Reply)
Interesting question Kaol
Physicists have managed to teleport small amounts of photons across labs, it's a matter of the probability of the photons being at the receiving end or something. Waaay over my head.

I would imagine that telekinesis would be easier if you were a cloud based lifeform with wave/particle duality, although I'm only guessing. I'll consult my books on quantum mechanics tonight and get back to you.

Edit: they might not even be a floating brain Dok, what if they're all part of the same cloud based telepathic sentience with some sort of mother creature on the home planet?
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 11:58, Reply)
Drixy
They are easy to keep as pets, they don't need a lot of space, if you want I can get you prices and such, my brothers place sells them.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 12:00, Reply)
I had a big octopus
For a two-week research project.
He was called Grumpy Jim.
And he hated me.

EDIT: Dok, all you need is a small viv, substrate, heat mat, dampness and mealworms, I think. That right?
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 12:01, Reply)
*cries even more*
I live in the smallest flat in the world.

I'll have to wait until I move.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 12:01, Reply)
Telekinetic aliens
I'm already telekinetic. Using nothing but the power of my mind I can make my arms move. *flaps*
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 12:01, Reply)
Can you get me a three-banded armadillo Dok?
Been trying to get one for a pet but there's all sorts of rubbish legislation. Armadillos are ace though!

Edit: even the smallest flat in the world must have space for a frog clendrix!

Edit 2: I think you made my arms flap as well V *flaps*
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 12:02, Reply)
damn you PJM
*mops up coke from keyboard*
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 12:03, Reply)
armadillo
I've a friend who lives in Waco, Texas who hates the bloody things. She emailed me one day to say she was fed up with them on her driveway "digging up shit".

You can't kick them either. They're armoured.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Tue 6 Jan 2009, 12:03, Reply)
No, I have no room, believe me.
Kaol can tell you - he's seen my bedroom.

Erm...
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 12:03, Reply)
Drixy
Not having seen your flat I can't say, but it's got to be bigger than my bedroom and I could keep one in there!

Sam, he probably could as the shop has a DWA licence, selling it to you would mean youd have to get a licence as well.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 12:04, Reply)
I just fell asleep
on my desk. I hope nobody saw...
(darras jeg har en grevling i hodet. Grevling, grevlang, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 12:04, Reply)
People keep them as pets in South America
They snuffle around at night and eat all the insects and stuff in your house (granted, that's not so much of a problem in Wales)

Has to be a 3 banded one (they don't live in Texas) as they're the only ones that can roll up!

And I think if I lived in Waco I'd be more concerned about the religious fundamentalists, oil barons and heavily armed inbred rednecks than the armadillos, but it's horses for courses...

Edit: that's what I mean Dok, how the hell is an armadillo dangerous?!
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 12:05, Reply)
Darras
I saw, but I wasn't going to say anything.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 12:05, Reply)
Belated Cock Ship
From the pisstake Republican Space Rangers cartoon in Grand Theft Auto IV:
www.gametrailers.com/player/usermovies/210909.html

At about 4:40 in.
(bill, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 12:07, Reply)
Armadillos
I want to play Donkey Kong now...
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 12:09, Reply)
Dok
I appreciate your cooperation :D
(darras jeg har en grevling i hodet. Grevling, grevlang, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 12:09, Reply)
Sam...
I take your particle-physics stuff, fair points.

Although it's gonna lead to a debate on the "physics" of the mind... Do you have to have a brain to have a consciousness?
Is the mind a collection of electrical impulses?
If so, could a non-electrical-based organism develop what we would call a "sense of self"?
And if it could, would it have a compatible form of communication with us, or would it see us in the same way we see a bit of cloth blowing in the wind, or fire?

Er... Sorry, carried away there.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 12:10, Reply)
Oh...
And don't get me started on the "Dangerous" Wild Animals Act...
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 12:12, Reply)
Electircal based organism
Imagine how powerful the thoughts of a species that used the strong force as the basis of it's CNS would be. It'd probably be omniscient or something.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 12:14, Reply)
@Kaol
Often in metaphors fluids are used to explain how electricity works - could you have a sentience that used fluid flow rather than electricity?

I'm guessing it'd have to be pretty big. Like a sentient swamp.
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 12:15, Reply)
What's "the strong force"?
Also, sod an electrical-based CNS, imagine an organism that had a photon-based CNS!
Best reaction-times EVER :D

EDIT: Ooooh! I love the idea of "a sentient swamp"!
Although, as I was saying, would we know it was sentient?
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 12:16, Reply)
Armadillos
Have sharp pointed teeth, like hedgehogs only bigger, and are not known for they're plesant disposition. Plus they're endangered so need a lot of CITES paperwork.

But I see your point, I want a kinkyju, but they are DWA as well, don't ask me why, they're tiny and could just about bite you about as bad as a rat!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 12:18, Reply)
The strong force
Is the force that holds neutrons and protons together. It's the most powerful force there is.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 12:19, Reply)
I have actually been bitten by hedgehogs on two separate occasions
And they've got pretty fucking sharp teeth, so I take your point!

I've read articles that say the three-ringed ones make quite friendly pets though.

(I'll get back to the debate on the nature of intelligence when this prick has shut up and left my office and I don't have to post so stealthily)
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 12:20, Reply)
Hedgehogs
Herr Dok - how's the pet coming along?
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Tue 6 Jan 2009, 12:23, Reply)
Oh!
Has it got another name?
I've not heard of "The Strong Force", but there's something else on the tip of my tongue, can't quite place it...
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 12:23, Reply)
If it had no way of communicating with us
We would have no way of knowing if it was sentient.

EDIT PJM the animals are all good thanks, Lil Kaol is still a bit stabby though, but he is getting better.

Kaol, it's also called the Nuclear Force, or Strong Attraction.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 12:25, Reply)
Well if it's
informal it goes by Bob
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 12:25, Reply)
Acording to wikipedia
It's also known as the Strong Interaction and the color(sic) force.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 12:25, Reply)
ooh!
My almost husband wants to take me to buy me a new snowboard today. That's pretty awesome.
(darras jeg har en grevling i hodet. Grevling, grevlang, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 12:26, Reply)
Ah, Nuclear Force!
I'm pretty sure that was what they called it when I used to study Physics :)
Thanks, it was bothering me!
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 12:29, Reply)
Actually Badger
It prefers to be known as Steve.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 12:30, Reply)
Whatever Dok.
*flicks through calendar*
I think I may have a big bash for my Birthday. Who fancies seeing the joys of Leamington? :p
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 12:32, Reply)
TGB...
*waves*

Can I call shotgun on your sofa please?
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 12:33, Reply)
The nuclear force
Is different to the strong force.

Nuclear force: The force between nucleons that holds atomic nuclei together
Strong force: The most powerful of the fundamental forces. This interaction holds things like protons together.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 12:35, Reply)
Oh yes please!
Can I call the floor?

EDIT V it was called the nuclear force when I was at school, so I'm sticking with that, OK. I know there is a difference, but when you break it down it's all still particle attraction really.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 12:35, Reply)
TGB
When's your birthday?
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 12:35, Reply)
Oh...
Maybe I just never got taught about it then!
Biology ftw :p
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 12:36, Reply)
Birthday Bash! Birthday Bash! Birthday Bash!
Do it!
Do it!
Do it!
(bill, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 12:37, Reply)
20 March which is a Friday so maybe have it 21st if that's easier for people?
I have a double sofa bed, two sofas, floor space and a spare room so I reckon I can put a couple up :p
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 12:37, Reply)
Fair play Dok
I've no idea why they changed the names around anyway. Bloody confusing if you ask me.

Not half as confusing as the actually physics involved which I doubt I'll ever even attempt to understand let alone understand.

Chemistry and maths ftw!

:edit: TGB birthday bash sounds good to me although I would need somewhere to stay *bats eyelashes*
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 12:39, Reply)
So Badger
21 this year is it?

21st sounds good though, gives the morning to get there, and eat!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 12:41, Reply)
Ooooh!
Can have the double sofa bed with V?
*grins*
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 12:41, Reply)
@TGB
I won't be able to make your bash.
It'll be too close to when I plan to leave.

*sads*

I think I'm going to actually miss you lot.

Edit: And now Kaol and Captain V will be sharing a bed and I won't be able to get in between them for cuddles.
*sobs*
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 12:42, Reply)
That may be arrangable V
:p

Ok so does the 21st work better for people?

24 Dok, I'm getting old :p
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 12:42, Reply)
Oh noes
So i won't get lusty hugs and maybe even a motorboating? *sads*
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 12:44, Reply)
*puts hand up*
Please Miss Badger.

Could I have a little space on your floor? I won't be any trouble. Pwomise!

EDIT Well take it as a compliment that you still look as lovely and young as a 21 year old.

I'm sure somebody will motorboat you if you ask nicely!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 12:44, Reply)
Saturday would definitely be better for me.
Saves me taking a day off work and I can potter up in my car Saturday morning.

Sharing a bed with kaol = win.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 12:47, Reply)
*grins*
And I can get a lift with V because he lives near me :p
*smiles sweetly at V*

EDIT: I'm a wonderful passenger. I pay for sweets and half the petrol. And I keep my hands to myself.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 12:48, Reply)
I was going to offer anyway
So yes you can have a lift.

@TGB Make it official, stick it in the calender then I'll put it in my diary when I get home.

:edit: Dammit. Sweets and petrol money sounds great but keeping your hands to yourself? Now I'm just disappointed ='[
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 12:49, Reply)
As long as you're good Dok :p
Ok V and Kaol can have the sofa bed. I better not hear any screams in the night!
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 12:49, Reply)
Lunch options
I don't know what to have for lunch, choose for me.

A: Get up, go to the supermarket and buy something

B: Get up and go to McDonalds

C: Get up and go to Subway

D: Stay in bed and order Domino's by text
(bill, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 12:50, Reply)
TGB
To be honest, I'm not leaving the country until my face has been between your breasts. So we'll work out a motorboating fun day!
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 12:50, Reply)
Motorboating?
Hurrah!
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 12:52, Reply)
I'm always good
There are a few girls who would agree with that as well!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 12:54, Reply)
Lusty that sounds awesome!
Tis up on the calendar :)
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 12:54, Reply)
I fancy McDonalds
So got for that. I used to hate the place but I've been craving it so much lately.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 12:54, Reply)
@bill
If I could get up and make a sandwich, so can you!
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 12:56, Reply)
Bill you're not actually going to
get up are you. Lazy bugger :p
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 12:57, Reply)
*Gets up*
*Goes to McDonalds*

I shall return and post from McD's wifi soon!
(bill, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 12:59, Reply)
America
is apparently going to make their own version of Shameless. *dies a little inside*
(darras jeg har en grevling i hodet. Grevling, grevlang, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 13:05, Reply)
*News Flash*
McDonalds wifi content filter blocks b3ta!

*Changes order to takeout*
(bill, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 13:16, Reply)
Bill
Did you not know that? It is a place full of kiddies.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 13:18, Reply)
Can you get nipple cancer?

(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 13:19, Reply)
*Home again*
I didn't really think about it, I knew it blocks Sickipedia but that's a bit more overtly naughty!
(bill, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 13:21, Reply)
That's random V
I should imagine it falls under skin cancer
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 13:22, Reply)
Speaking of takeaways....
I've not had a McDonalds, Burger King, KFC, Subway or anything like that in about a year and a half....

/crrrrrrraaaaaavvvvvvvvveeeeeeee
(I helped save b3ta! whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 13:22, Reply)
V, what?
You can get breast cancer even as a boy type thing. and it could be centered on the nipple area.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 13:22, Reply)
It seems so V
www.cancer.gov/cancertopics/factsheet/Sites-Types/pagets-breast

"Paget disease of the nipple, also called Paget disease of the breast, is an uncommon type of cancer that forms in or around the nipple"
(bill, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 13:23, Reply)
Hmmm
I don't think it's breast cancer as it feels like the nipple rather than the fleshy breast meat behind it.

Tbh I've not got any type of cancer. My right nipple's just a bit tender and I thought I felt a lump but I can't find it (the lump) again now.

:edit: Thanks bill *worries*
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 13:25, Reply)
don't worry V
*snuggle and rubs your beard*

Or if you are go see the doctor, better safe than sorry when it comes to lumps :)
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 13:29, Reply)
I can't find the lump again now
But my nipple is still tender. Hopefully the tenderness (and not my nipple) will just go away soon.

Don't women get tender nipples when they're up the duff? Maybe I'm pregnant!
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 13:30, Reply)
If you are...
It's not mine!
(bill, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 13:31, Reply)
*feels V's nipples*
Nope I can't find the lump either
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 13:31, Reply)
V
Women get tender nipples at other times too.
Are you on the blob?

*also has quick feel of V's nipple*
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 13:33, Reply)
It would
probably be Kaol's offspring. Good luck with that V :p
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 13:34, Reply)
*checks seat*
Nope. Doesn't look like I'm on the blob.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 13:35, Reply)
Is it possible
your nipple is tender because of all the prodding of it?
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 13:37, Reply)
V lovces the prodding
he emits high pitched squeals of delight if you do as well.

*prods V*
*giggles*
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 13:39, Reply)
V
If you stop prodding it it may stop being tender!

Have you been running, it may have been rubbing on your shirt.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 13:39, Reply)
I don't think so Light
Perhaps this is my nipple's way of telling me that it wants to be pierced.

If I am pregnant, and it is Kaol's baby, then I'm not sure what I'm going to do. I wear the trousers in our relationship but I wish he would. His not wearing trousers is precisely what got us into this mess!

:edit: @Dok I've stopped prodding so it might not be tender anymore but I don't want to check as that'd involve prodding.

@TGB Don't make fun of my special noises!
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 13:39, Reply)
Offspring of Kaol?
Arm yourselves, b3tans. It must be destroyed.

Shall we get it out of V first? That's the question.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 13:40, Reply)
Nope
I say we put a window in his tummy so we can all watch it grow.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 13:42, Reply)
V
I love your special noises, they make me all warm and fuzzy inside ;)

Clendrix I think we should remove it, pickle it and then we will have a cheap birthday present for Kaol this year!
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 13:42, Reply)
Oh nice, Badger!
He loves pickles.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 13:45, Reply)
I'm trying to imagine what Captain V and Kaol's baby would look like.
I'm guessing it would be rather beardy and stabby.
It would fool you by looking all cute and lovely and having silky hair. But get too close and it would treat you like a fresly killed hooker, slicing away and feasting on the warm goo inside.
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 13:46, Reply)
Maybe the baby
will have spines on it's chin instead of normal hair?
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 13:47, Reply)
Am I right in thinking
that just one nipple is tender? In that case, are you perhaps only slightly pregnant?
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 13:47, Reply)
I like Dok's window idea
I'd be like a tellytubby but less handbaggy and less hetrosexual.

@Light Yes you're right. Perhaps I'm pregnant with a dwarf. They're only half people after all.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 13:48, Reply)
No problem.
Breast feed on the other side.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 13:49, Reply)
Good noontide one and all!
I'm back after a fab chrimbo & new year back home and have finally got round to putting my beardy pics up!

www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post336347

How has everyone's respective festive periods been?
(Colonel Santiago Introduced surprised kitty to the world., Tue 6 Jan 2009, 13:51, Reply)
Well, V isn't having a period.
We've ascertained that.

Welcome back, Colonel.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 13:52, Reply)
Damn you Clenders
You saucy fellow. You made me laugh.

And good afternoon to you Colonel. Your beardy pics are rather woo.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 13:54, Reply)
Ta Clendrix...
What did Sandy Claws get you?
(Colonel Santiago Introduced surprised kitty to the world., Tue 6 Jan 2009, 13:54, Reply)
Welcome back, Colonel
And noons all!
(I helped save b3ta! Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 13:55, Reply)
Welcome back Colonel
Nice beard, I like the pr0n tash best of all!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 13:56, Reply)
Sandy
got me books and music and a make-your-own-Morph set. But he also got me money to get a new guitar with.

Give that man a suck.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 13:56, Reply)
I'm back.
And for the record, I did not have sex with that man.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 13:56, Reply)
Yo Colonel S
I luuurve your pictures they made me lotsalol.

Do I have to start judging now? *glees*

*looks at beards again*
Behemotty gets my "best use of 'nom' on a picture" award
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 13:56, Reply)
Kaol
I knew you'd never be unfaithful to me.

*swoons*
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 13:58, Reply)
I'm glad my face has people LOLing
although it's not the normal response I'm used to...

Clenders, that sounds all of teh w00! I can't even afford a new pair of drum sticks at the mo, let alone enough to re-skin my entire kit which may or may never have been done in the whole 9 years I've had it and it now oh so desperately needs...

I did however get the Seasick Steve Album. Is Good.
(Colonel Santiago Introduced surprised kitty to the world., Tue 6 Jan 2009, 14:01, Reply)
My Gods
If it wasn't Kaol who was it?

This is a job for Scooby Doo, To the Mystery Machine!

Or maybe it's just asexual reproduction.

hehe I said sexual.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 14:02, Reply)
Is the normal response to rub the beard?
*rubs your beard to appear normal*
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 14:02, Reply)
Colonel,
if I win 50 million quid this weekend, I will be happy to get over there and service your entire kit.

My flatmate has that CD. I think I might have to borrow it...
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 14:02, Reply)
Clendrix if you win 50 million
can I have a grand to get my eyes lasered? I'd fed up of scratching them to bits when I'm drunk and trying to remove my lenses :(
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 14:05, Reply)
If I win 50 million quid...
we're all gonna get what we want.
I shall be flinging money around like a mong possessed.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 14:06, Reply)
Ouch!
The thought of eye pain makes me wince!

The usual response is either to rub the beard or hit the face with a stick. or so it would unfortunately seem.

Clenders, I'd love it if you won that much! *Crosses everything for luck*
(Colonel Santiago Introduced surprised kitty to the world., Tue 6 Jan 2009, 14:08, Reply)
I've been trying to raise funds by gambling on the lottery
Sadly it doesn't work...

@ Colonel/clendrix - it is a good album, the first two (and particularly the first one) are FAR better though. The new one's too overproduced for me...
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 14:09, Reply)
@Colonel
Not the streams! *dives out of the way*

:edit: Lack of sleep is catching up with me. I used oughta instead of out of.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 14:11, Reply)
when is the final announcement for the beard compo?
the people here need to know the results!
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 14:12, Reply)
I've cast my vote.
Have all the judges voted now?
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 14:13, Reply)
Yes, when is the judging?
Y'know, I appreciate y'all waiting for me to enter but I've done that now! :D
(Colonel Santiago Introduced surprised kitty to the world., Tue 6 Jan 2009, 14:15, Reply)
No
Because I am out the loop *cries*

My knuckles have gone purple that can't be good....
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 14:15, Reply)
Why have your knuckles gone purple?
Common symptom of super AIDS, I believe.

@ Cap'n - I think the contraction 'outta' was what you were searching for?
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 14:16, Reply)
Badger
Have you been at my hair dye again?

Yeah when is the final judging, I know I've not got a hope in hell. I knew that when Ancrenne was afeard of my beard!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 14:17, Reply)
Yes Sam it was
I'm going straight to sleep when I get in assuming I don't fall asleep at the wheel on the way home.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 14:18, Reply)
'Proper' votes so far:
BGB:
1. Mictoboy
2. No3L
3. Loon

Clendrix
1. Mictoboy
2. Vipros
3. Snee

Underwhelmed
1. Mictoboy
2. Vipros
3. Snee

Tightly
1. Mictoboy
2. Vipros
3. Snee

Have I missed any?

The problem is that new beards keep sprouting and people keep saying they're going to vote.
We may never know!
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 14:21, Reply)
Someone needs to make up a
Gold, Silver & Bronze 'b3ta beard growing badge' for the 1st, 2nd and 3rd placed entrants.

And perhaps a wooden spoon for the worst?
(Colonel Santiago Introduced surprised kitty to the world., Tue 6 Jan 2009, 14:25, Reply)
I'm just gutted I forgot about it...
And I don't want to enter now. Besides, there are some fabulous beards to contend with, veritable forests of facial fur!

All hail the beard!
(I helped save b3ta! Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 14:32, Reply)
Stupid work getting in the way!
I was going to make stupid badges so everyone has something :p
I don't want super aids :(
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 14:42, Reply)
*Sees votes*
*Sulks*

*Shaves*
(bill, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 14:46, Reply)
Oh balls.
The overseer isn't in for the rest of the week. I'm going to be stuck with the talker.
I have a feeling it's going to be a long few days.

I never thought I'd say this. But I kind of miss the overseer.
*shudders*
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 14:47, Reply)
I can has badge?

(Colonel Santiago Introduced surprised kitty to the world., Tue 6 Jan 2009, 14:49, Reply)
Lusty!
Your visa?
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 14:49, Reply)
I'm going to the cinema tonight
Expect a Kaol-film-review some time late tonight.

I've heard that the film I'm going to see is a bit rubbish...
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 14:51, Reply)
Bill
you do look like a hobo with that beard...

Kaol what film?

And yes Colonel S you can has badge but not right now. :p
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 14:53, Reply)
"The Spirit"
Hahaha!

We shall see.
I'll be as fair and uncompromising as always in my reviewing.
Although Harlow cinema makes a film drop about half a point for pure moron-crowd-content putting me in a bad mood.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 14:55, Reply)
Yeah, Harlow.
Town of morons. Who'd be born there, ffs?
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 14:56, Reply)
Oh fuck off!
*cries*
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 14:57, Reply)
Harlow cinema
Isn't very nice really. Can't remember if I've been there since it changed to a cineworld though.

In fact I don't think there's anything at all in Harlow that I'm fond of.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 14:58, Reply)
Ooh, a review, eh?
And I'm looking forward to the Spirit, so I hope it's a good one!

I may post a review myself of some comedy. Or maybe I won't. You never know with me! ;)
(I helped save b3ta! Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 14:59, Reply)
There's only one good thing about Harlow
And that's the fact that you can walk down the high street there and pretend to be Captain Ahab.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 14:59, Reply)
Oh The Spirit
I haven't heard any reviews of that yet so I shall eagerly await yours Kaol :p
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 15:03, Reply)
@clendrix
She said if I came up one day next week she'd give it to me and take me out for lunch.
I don't really want to wait, but I don't have a choice.
The drunk boss said he'd sign it for me if I wrote it out myself. I'm really pissed off after all the times I've helped him out, covered for him when he's come in drunk, not reported him to HR for his blatant misogyny and worked longer hours on my own when he hasn't bothered to get me a temp (and when he has they've been fucking retarded) he can't even write a few fucking lines about me. I have to do them.

Edit: And yes I did realise I spelt retarded wrong. Irony anyone?
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 15:05, Reply)
I went to Harlow
in 2002.

To play a gig at a place called The Square. Before we'd even soundchecked, teenage girls asked me for autographs without knowing who the fuck I was. They couldn't care less if I was in a good band or not.

Silly Harlothians
(Colonel Santiago Introduced surprised kitty to the world., Tue 6 Jan 2009, 15:05, Reply)
*wanders back in*
*sees the 'fuck off' command*
*laughs at the tears*
*fucks off*
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 15:05, Reply)
If it makes it any better,
Harlow also spawned me...
*sighs*
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 15:09, Reply)
I was conceived there.
TMI?
What. Ever.

Lusty, that all sounds like complete shit. The only thing I can think to say is that all this is going to make your escape all the sweeter.
*hugs*
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 15:10, Reply)
So some good has come of Harlow :)
But it should be destroyed now.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 15:11, Reply)
Wait!
Let me remove my Spare Mum!

OK, do it. Do it now.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 15:12, Reply)
Oh...
I'll do it after I've been to the cinema.
*packs explody rucksack*
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 15:13, Reply)
Ley us not forget that Harlow gave us Michael Barrymore.
Actually, I suppose we'd better wall it off. Saving yer presence o'course, mister Kaol. :)
(I helped save b3ta! Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 15:13, Reply)
At least your
parents didn't call you Harlow Clendrix.
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 15:14, Reply)
Margot Asquith said to Jean Harlow:
No Jean, the T is silent - as in Harlow.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 15:16, Reply)
Spare Mum Drixy?
How did you manage that, and where can I get one?
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 15:17, Reply)
Marie lives in Harlow.
My mum's best friend - she's lovely.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 15:18, Reply)
Alright, so there *are* nice people in Harlow.
They're just rare, is all. Like the lesser crested greeb.
(I helped save b3ta! Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 15:19, Reply)
thread killer!
I was watching Gladiators yesterday, they have got rid of John Anderson :(

There is a guy who tries to be him but fails
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 15:29, Reply)
I know someone who had an affair with a gladiator.
What a slag.
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 15:31, Reply)
I saw that.
I tell you, it put me right off it, so it did. But then Inferno came on so it was OK.

Speaking of which, is it just me that thinks the new Gladiators are a bit over the top? Like they are all, every man jack of them, filled up to the eyeballs with steroids? Or have all the men been told just to 'act mean, a bit like what Wolf used to'?

Bring back Jet, that's what I say.

Oooh, an affair, eh? was it with Hunter? Or maybe Ulrika? Then again, who hasn't done it on Ulrika?
(I helped save b3ta! Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 15:35, Reply)
Charlie Brooker
Said something along the lines of "All of the new male Gladiators look like mongoliod reject backing-singers from Erasure with a steroid problem."

Er... Actually, I think that's about 50% Brooker, 50% me.
Damn my memory! The Erasure bit is him.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 15:37, Reply)
I like
Spartan though. *drifts off happily*
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 15:41, Reply)
DiT
It wasn't Hunter. Wasn't he putting it in Ulrika at one point?

I miss the 90s sometimes! I have a signed photo of wolf in my bedroom still. He told me I had nice hair!
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 15:42, Reply)
Did anyone see the
Old "Legends" Gladiators Vs the new ones? Trojan looks hot.

Yes, yes I have just been drooling over Gladiators. Not Russell Crowe though, I'd like to shove a pugel stick in him where the sun doesn't shine
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 15:46, Reply)
I was most disappointed to see John Anderson wasn't there too
also, the gladiators are steroid-filled mutants.

I like that they are using water in it.

it's no Takeshi's Castle, Ninja Warrior, or Ultimate Banzuke though!
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 15:48, Reply)
But you do have nice hair, Lusty! :)
With all this talk of Gladiators, I think I might have to go and put my costume on!

*gladiates with the lady gladiators, but not battleaxe, she's quite scary*
(I helped save b3ta! Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 15:50, Reply)
I am totally
in love with the Fireman off Ninja Warrior. He is yummy even if he is like 4'6"
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 15:50, Reply)
TGB
He'd probably like that though!
(bill, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 15:51, Reply)
Steroid-filled mutants?
I'll take two hundred please.

*marches on Buckingham Palace*
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 15:51, Reply)
Takeshi's Castle!
Funny Japanese people gettting maimed. Perfect.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 15:54, Reply)
Did anyone see that programme on Saturday?
I think it was on BBC1. Lots of people doing an obstacle course in the mud.
I can't work out if it was amazingly funny or if I'd just smoked a lot, I'm thinking it's a bit of both.
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 15:56, Reply)
Talking of BBC1
My sister was in that Anne Frank thing as an extra.

/claim to fame
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 15:58, Reply)
I was in Anne Frank once.
Dead, dusty and disappointing.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 15:59, Reply)
I'm ashamed to call you
The father of my unborn child. *sad face*
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 16:00, Reply)
Ah
nice alliteration though :)
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 16:02, Reply)
*grins*
The Three D's...

Story of my damn life... :(
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 16:03, Reply)
Hmmm...
Devillish
Devastating
Deviant

That's more you.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 16:06, Reply)
Lusty
PPD saw that and has been dying to talk about it with someone but no one here has seen it!

She is getting excited about a camp guy who ran around squeaking?
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 16:08, Reply)
Sounds like she saw me

(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 16:12, Reply)
hehehe
Aww *hugs V* It's funny because it's true!

Total Wipeout, apparently.
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 16:13, Reply)
TGB
That guy was ace! He wasn't as good as the girl who wore green pants over a clothes and sung "I am the one and only" to herself.
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 16:14, Reply)
Do I really come across as camp?
Perhaps that's why I've been having trouble with women. I only squeak when people poke me so it can't be that as I've not gotten to that stage (except with TGB) for quite some time now.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 16:15, Reply)
*winks at V*
Well I'll give you a good poking again when I next see you :p

PPD is on the phone I shall ask her about the girl when she is off!!
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 16:17, Reply)
Clendrix:
I have just noticed your signature, and I must say I am slightly disappointed in you. Work harder, gel!

Also, cappy V, campness shouldn't be a problem. Look at, er, Michael McIntyre. Camper than Christmas, but straight and he's reproduced. So, go for a career in Stand-Up Comedy!

Problem solved! :)
(I helped save b3ta! Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 16:17, Reply)
@TGB
I read that as a good porking...

@DiT I'm not convinced I'm camp but at least it seems like there's hope even if I am!
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 16:20, Reply)
Maybe a teeny bit V
but maybe just that's because you squeak a lot around me ;)
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 16:22, Reply)
V
I would describe you as a little camp, not a lot mind you.

Then again most men are a bit camp at times.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 16:22, Reply)
V, you're camper than a field of Scouts.
Not really.

Clendrix, you could've said "Dashing" :p
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 16:23, Reply)
Listen 'ere, Tightly.
I'll have you know that I am snug and firm, whatever foodstuffs Wookiee may care to suggest.

Sorry dashing, delightful, debonair Kaol :)
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 16:23, Reply)
@Dok
I can live with that. I think I'd be in denial if I tried to claim not to be camp at all. I was just concerned that I came across as the sort of camp that screams "I'm a closest homosexual. Please bum me"

@TGB I squeak a lot because you tickle me a lot =[
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 16:25, Reply)
That's
because I am secretly in love with you V

*winks*
*strokes your thigh*
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 16:26, Reply)
*squeaks romantically*

(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 16:27, Reply)
Let's all form a huge b3ta conga line
and make sure we're all sandwiched in between someone good.

*chooses*
*daydreams*
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 16:28, Reply)
Hahaha, OK then...
V, I don't remember you being very camp, but if you do squeal then maybe I understand it...

I myself am a little camp. I think. OOOO, get her!
(I helped save b3ta! Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 16:29, Reply)
Hmmm...
Much better, thank you!

EDIT: I don't think I'm particularly camp.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 16:31, Reply)
Can I be
sandwiched between Clendrix and Lusty?

*slips off chair just thinking about it*
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 16:31, Reply)
@Clenders
I wouldn't be at all surprised that, if I get too drunk, at the next bash I coerce everybody into a conga line. Just the thought of it has put a big grin on my face!

@DiT I only squeak/squeal when people start tickling and poking me when I'm not expecting it. The rest of the time I'm a fine upstanding member of society.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 16:31, Reply)
*tickles Kaol's cute little beard*
*skips away*

*injures self skipping - damn boobs*

V - let's do it! Yay!
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 16:32, Reply)
I dunno, I go away for a while and you've all gone all camp in here!
I'm not camp at all.




Although I am wearing a pink t-shirt today.
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 16:33, Reply)
Kaol? Camp?
Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahahahahaha!
No dear. You're not.

Sam's in a pink t-shirt. No one bend over, etc.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 16:35, Reply)
:|
*considers remaking lunch plans for tomorrow*
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 16:37, Reply)
What?
I'm so sorry :(
I thought I was paying respects to your straightiness.

Kaol, you're camper than my housemate.

Better?
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 16:41, Reply)
I was talking about
Pink-shirt Sam :p
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 16:44, Reply)
*sniggers*
Ooops!
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 16:45, Reply)
You're having me for lunch tomorrow?
I'm confused!

I will say in my defence that it's a pink t-shirt I found on the floor, so I didn't intentionally pay for it. Actually I don't know whether that makes it better or worse.

It's a nice t-shirt though, looks like it was considerably more expensive than my average t-shirt (£0)
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 16:46, Reply)
descriptions eh?
Special K, Clenders, how would you describe me?
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 16:46, Reply)
Vipros
Er... I don't remember much from that night, other than I may have kissed you. Oh, and a quadruple vodka was £4...
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 16:50, Reply)
V-Dog.
Fo sho.
(I helped save b3ta! Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 16:50, Reply)
Sam, you bent over to pick it up?
A pink t-shirt?

Brave? Or out for what he can get?
B3tans decide.

Vipros - tall and also cuddly despite strong manliness :)
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 16:50, Reply)
a quadruple vodka was £4?
damn, that's not bad

I was somewhere the other day where a fucking large lemonade was £3...
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 16:51, Reply)
Haha, yes, I bent over, if the mental image makes you happy ;)
All my t-shirts (and quite a lot of my other clothes) were either given to me or found/'won', I'm too much of a pikey to pay for 'em!

I think the word for Vipros is 'debonair', but I've only seen photos...

Only charging you £3 to fuck a lemonade is quite a bargain I think.
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 16:52, Reply)
Clenders
You're reading too much into it. He was kindly bending over to pick up the soap, that was underneath the shirt, for his friend in the showers.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 16:52, Reply)
I touched Vipros.
Yes, ladies and gents, touched him. In a well-behaved way, not a fun-way.
Poor bastard had already been violated by Kaol before I could get to him, so I didn't want to traumatise him further.

V - is that his friend, Bubba?
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 16:54, Reply)
It was really good and cheap!
Although I got a horrific headache. And kept passing out.
Poor ancrenne, haha!

Right... Time for me to go home.
I'll be about some time later, writing my review of The Spirit.
Bye!
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 16:56, Reply)
Debonair, tall, cuddly-yet-manly
yep, that's me...actually not sure about the debonair bit. I'd like to think so though ;-)

to be honest, being violated by Kaol wasn't the worst experience of my life...
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 16:57, Reply)
Right, I'm off home
See you all tomorrow!
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 16:58, Reply)
Clenders
No it was m...er, yes, it was bubba.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 16:59, Reply)
Vipros
Was it the best experience of your life?
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 17:00, Reply)
I can fairly safely say that
no, it was not the best experience of my life

it was too disturbing for that. the way he grabbed my beard and gently pulled my head towards him....

*gibbers*

still, not the worst. I've shagged a ginger(woman) ;-)
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 17:02, Reply)
Vipros!
There are hot read heads. Fact.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 17:02, Reply)
There's been so much gay fun on here today
that I shall be going home tonight and out-gaying my housemate!

Wookiee? Are you there? Where's my lube?
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 17:03, Reply)
V
yeah I know. can't think of any off the top of my head, but there are some ;-)
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 17:04, Reply)
I watched the Kaol-Vipros meeting.
*cries*
*scrubs mind with yard broom*
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 17:04, Reply)
you loved it Clenders
you filthy voyeur

don't pretend you didn't!

and with that I am going home!

haev a pleasant evening folks. swimming and ceiling painting ahead of me tonight....
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 17:08, Reply)
*throws remaining b3tans into wheelbarrow*
*wheels them over to the new Evening Thread*

*closes this one down like it's the last ever Woolworths*
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 17:18, Reply)

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