So it's stupid o clock


Have some grumpy badger hugs!
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 21 Jan 2009, 6:43, 174 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Badger Hugs!
After a series of increasingly violent border clashes between my cat and I, I have agreed to withdraw from Sleep and pursue a 2-plate solution.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 21 Jan 2009, 7:03, Reply)

10 GREETING
20 INSERT BREAKFAST
30 F5
40 GOTO 30
(robot /ctrl-z ctrl-z ctrl-z, Wed 21 Jan 2009, 7:36, Reply)

decisions decisions
Should I make sandwiches now and take them to work or not bother and have some canteen flunky make me a sandwich at lunchtime?
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 21 Jan 2009, 7:47, Reply)

No contest
Homemade sandwiches are always better.

I never make sandwiches any more... I know what I'm doing tonight!

And... Mr Nong!
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 21 Jan 2009, 8:05, Reply)

Hmmm
Kinda depends. If you do make sandwiches at home, make sure you put em in the fridge or something when ya get into work, because there's nothing worse than sat-on weirdly warm sandwiches
(Fredz A graveyard of hopes, a dump of ambition, Wed 21 Jan 2009, 8:10, Reply)

Unless they're cheese and onion
There's nothing quite like a cheese and onion butt-toastie.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 21 Jan 2009, 8:20, Reply)

Morning all
I always bring sandwiches for lunch. They're especially valuable if it's pissing down sleet outside so you don't need to wander around in the cold going to the shop to buy something.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Wed 21 Jan 2009, 8:20, Reply)

Nah
I don't know why, but I can't eat onions without feeling ill :/ Any other Butt toastie recepies?
(Fredz A graveyard of hopes, a dump of ambition, Wed 21 Jan 2009, 8:21, Reply)

Morning K
Brie and bacon works well. Especially if the brie's ripe.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 21 Jan 2009, 8:25, Reply)

Brie and bacon
sounds really good. Must try that.

*makes notes*
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Wed 21 Jan 2009, 8:26, Reply)

Reckon that veggie bacon would work?
Because if so I must try that. Sounds tasty....
(Fredz A graveyard of hopes, a dump of ambition, Wed 21 Jan 2009, 8:27, Reply)

Yup
If you put the bacon in hot it compliments the butt-warming effect.

Edit: I heart google

thingsivewipedmyarsewith.blogspot.com/2008/09/cheese-toastie.html
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 21 Jan 2009, 8:30, Reply)

Hmmmm
How about sliced grapes with that? They go well with Brie I've heard
(Fredz A graveyard of hopes, a dump of ambition, Wed 21 Jan 2009, 8:34, Reply)

Yeah
And if you feel it could do with a little more moisture, thinly spread cranberry sauce on the bread.

*is actually drooling now*

Edit: if you took the gherkin and fish sauce out of your pointless experiment, I'd eat that there sandwich, butt-toasted or not.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 21 Jan 2009, 8:38, Reply)

Ooooohhhh!
I am definately writing this one down! Hmmm. Okay, this might push it a bit over the top - but - thinly sliced avacado?
(Fredz A graveyard of hopes, a dump of ambition, Wed 21 Jan 2009, 8:40, Reply)

Avocado
makes surprisingly good sandwiches. I say surprisingly because I wouldn't expect something with virtually no flavour and the consistency of soft soap to make a good foodstuff!
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Wed 21 Jan 2009, 8:44, Reply)

I think
you might have pushed it a little far there Fredz.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 21 Jan 2009, 8:49, Reply)

Yeah, possibly.
I'll have to get the needed ingrediants, that way I can figure out wether avacado is going too far or not
(Fredz A graveyard of hopes, a dump of ambition, Wed 21 Jan 2009, 8:52, Reply)

So
Moving on from sandwiches, what's everyone got on today?

My day will be one of normal work, then tomorrow and Friday I'm off on a training course, which is good.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Wed 21 Jan 2009, 9:00, Reply)

I will be mostly
Drinking tea and sorting out a possible PGCE course to apply for, as well as looking into funding.
(Fredz A graveyard of hopes, a dump of ambition, Wed 21 Jan 2009, 9:03, Reply)

I lived in Kuala Lumpur for a while
and in one of the malls there was a sandwich shop.

They gave you a tray and you chose two slices of bread, then went along a Subway-like collection of dishes full of ingredients.

At the end, they weighed your sandwich and you paid by weight.

*goes all dreamy*

So yeah... moving on :)
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 21 Jan 2009, 9:04, Reply)

Morning all
I have a day full of pissing about on the interwebs at work.

I'm also not happy that the forecast 100mph winds and driving snow didn't appear last night, maybe today!

No3L, That is a fantastic idea for a sammich shop.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Wed 21 Jan 2009, 9:11, Reply)

I spent too long arsing about on the internet
So it will have to be a flunky sandwich today. I do enjoy a garlic sausage and baby spinach sandwich with a little mayo. Edit: that was the home made option.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 21 Jan 2009, 9:12, Reply)

Rightly so, Dok
Sandwiches rule. I'm going to have to find some healthy bread today.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 21 Jan 2009, 9:12, Reply)

Morning!
Mr. K, today I've got on army boots, grey jeans, a black shirt and a black leather jacket.

*looks suspicious*

Why?
( Cawl, Wed 21 Jan 2009, 9:15, Reply)

Healthy Bread
That's the stuff of nightmares!

I just eat what's in front of me, and since I cook it all it's only what I like!

The Interwebs are the way forward, next people will be saying we should all get together for a beer or lots! Good golly Miss Molly.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Wed 21 Jan 2009, 9:18, Reply)

@Kaol
Just wondered, that's all.

*whistles*
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Wed 21 Jan 2009, 9:19, Reply)

Oh...
You can add hobo-gloves to my list, 'til the heating kicks in.
( Cawl, Wed 21 Jan 2009, 9:21, Reply)

Morning all
I have cheese, ham, tomato and piccalilli sandwiches today. Nom nom. I also had bacon sarnies for breakfast which is something of a rarity, so I'm doing well today. I have to bring sandwiches as the only shop within 6 miles is a shit, expensive Spar, and fuck going there.

This morning my car decided it wanted to go straight on rather than left into the car park when I touched the brakes, missed the entrance by about 10 yards and had to reverse back up to it!
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Wed 21 Jan 2009, 9:21, Reply)

Sam
Nice sammich. It's lucky you didn't hit anything with the car.

Also good Bonzo Dog board sig.

Hi Kaol, I didn't see you sneak in.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Wed 21 Jan 2009, 9:25, Reply)

Piccalilli?
Branston pickle FTW!
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 21 Jan 2009, 9:26, Reply)

When you do see me sneak in,
You know that you're in trouble.

I'm just applying for a job, yay!
It's just under double what I'm on now, for 20 hours a week.
( Cawl, Wed 21 Jan 2009, 9:26, Reply)

Yeah, fortunately it's a really small road
So there weren't any other cars. 99% of my journey is on a main road that gets gritted, then I turn onto a little back road which is where I work, the ice caught me out! Easier to carry on past it and try again than slam the brakes on like an idiot and wipe out on the fence. I could have gone for the massive power slide but wasn't really awake enough to attempt it, and the handbrake is in a bit of a gay place for yanking whilst driving...

(I have to admit I was probably concentrating more on smoking a fag and drumming along to Billy Cobham on the steering wheel than I was on the bad driving conditions)

It was a challenge picking which line from the song to use for my sig, there's some quality one liners in it. Fact of the day: when he introduces Eric Clapton on ukelele, it is actually Eric Clapton on the ukelele!

Edit: @ Light in Chains, I finished my Branston yesterday and cracked the yellow stuff this morning for a bit of variety. Do not for one minute doubt my devotion to Branston...

And Kaol, is it being a male escort?
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Wed 21 Jan 2009, 9:28, Reply)

Kinda...
More an "insect pimp"
( Cawl, Wed 21 Jan 2009, 9:30, Reply)

Also
I don't think we should forget this thread, I know it's slipped down the page a bit but I'm still enjoying it.

If you don't come and post I'll just spend the day in there talking to myself.
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Wed 21 Jan 2009, 9:36, Reply)

Kaol
I would have thought it would be a good thing seeing you sneak in. It would mean whoever saw you wasn't the target!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Wed 21 Jan 2009, 9:37, Reply)

Posted Son of Sam I am
And.... Only one album? :(
(Fredz A graveyard of hopes, a dump of ambition, Wed 21 Jan 2009, 9:50, Reply)

Fredz, I've gazzed you.
Because I'm lovely.
( Cawl, Wed 21 Jan 2009, 9:53, Reply)

Thankyou Kaol!
That was indeed helpful and lovely.... I should be able to open up my onscreen keyboard thing in a bit, but it doesn't seem to like running when I'm burning CD's for some reason.......
(Fredz A graveyard of hopes, a dump of ambition, Wed 21 Jan 2009, 9:56, Reply)

*feels left out*
It's creepy girl's birthday today. Bonus, I get cakes. Non bonus, it means I have to go and speak to her to get them.

I might just miss out on the cakes.

Edit: was that about Fredz' lack of an enter key? Fredz are you missing Enter and return? That'd be pretty weird. (unless you're on a laptop and only have return; pedantic note, I'm disappointed at how few people know the difference)
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Wed 21 Jan 2009, 9:57, Reply)

No problem Fredz!
Sam, I was just being his enter Return key :p

Also, isn't it best if you don't eat cakes?
( Cawl, Wed 21 Jan 2009, 9:58, Reply)

Hire a marching band
dressed as wombles to distract her. Then liberate the cake based goods.... (EDIT) yes, I am on a laptop. There was a wine based incident and now I have no enter key, and the spacebar is actualy a peice of ductape fixed over the rubber nub thing....
(Fredz A graveyard of hopes, a dump of ambition, Wed 21 Jan 2009, 9:58, Reply)

Sam
You could just start a fire, or just the fire alarm and then steal all the cakes!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Wed 21 Jan 2009, 10:01, Reply)

I've failed on my non eating cakes mission
I had one last night...

Fredz - it's a return key!

/pedant
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Wed 21 Jan 2009, 10:04, Reply)

Okay - Return key
Just a note though - is there an actual functioning difference between the two?
(Fredz A graveyard of hopes, a dump of ambition, Wed 21 Jan 2009, 10:05, Reply)

Good morning, nice people!
I had a great night last night. Comedy with some b3tans, very nice too. I met some /talkers, doing my bit for cross-board relations.

And then one of Leytonstone's little scrotes tried to mug me on the way home.

I did what any man would do in that situation. I ran and ran and ran and ran and ran!
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Wed 21 Jan 2009, 10:09, Reply)

Only one of them?
I'd've mugged him back.
( Cawl, Wed 21 Jan 2009, 10:12, Reply)

Morningmajig
I saw this on Facebook:

Lol.I c red eye's

and thought of Badgerface :)
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Wed 21 Jan 2009, 10:14, Reply)

There isn't as much of a difference as there used to be
These days most programs interpret the two keys the same.

They do send different signals to the computer though.

Edit: morning Mr Tights & Ethel!
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Wed 21 Jan 2009, 10:19, Reply)

I did not know that....
Mind you, I'm not exactly great on the entire computer thing... I know the basics - and usualy just enough of the complicated stuff to get myself into trouble (eg deleting wireless drivers on my laptop) (EDIT) and morning other peoples :)
(Fredz A graveyard of hopes, a dump of ambition, Wed 21 Jan 2009, 10:23, Reply)

Morning DiT
Running is good.

Morning Red.

EDIT I hate computers, I hate them with a passion! They mock me me, then I have to kill them.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Wed 21 Jan 2009, 10:24, Reply)

For those of you who need a guide to troubleshooting
I recommend you print this and stick it on your wall. I just have and I feel it will help me.

I thought you worked with computers Dok! I quite like them, most of the issues we have with them here are filed under PEBCAK.
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Wed 21 Jan 2009, 10:27, Reply)

That
Is a genius flowchart! THink I'll be saving that.....
(Fredz A graveyard of hopes, a dump of ambition, Wed 21 Jan 2009, 10:30, Reply)

Yes Sam
I do, to an extent, I used to be the sysadmin here until they made a whole department to do the job for me! I still hate them though.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Wed 21 Jan 2009, 10:33, Reply)

Lost connectivity on my phone for a while
And then I was listening to my new favourite song - "Maybe she likes it" by The Bastard Fairies. It's about domestic violence. :-)
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 21 Jan 2009, 10:36, Reply)

Arsonists or amateur terrorist bombers on Freecycle?
This made me chuckle...

"wanted calor gas heater an any spare tins of paint"

What are they planning to do?
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Wed 21 Jan 2009, 10:50, Reply)

They're going to
Blow up parlament, or maybe paint thier front room in multi colours and need the heater to speed up the drying process.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Wed 21 Jan 2009, 10:53, Reply)

Damn!
I didn't think the ad made it so obvious!
(Fredz A graveyard of hopes, a dump of ambition, Wed 21 Jan 2009, 10:55, Reply)

I go with Herr's 2nd choice
It is Lawrence Llwellyn Bowen or whatever the frilly woofter is called this week and his "new style"
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Wed 21 Jan 2009, 11:01, Reply)

Red
Multo-coloured painting is great, except on cars when it sucks big time!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Wed 21 Jan 2009, 11:04, Reply)

You can buy stripy paint though
And tartan paint and everything. Why don't they just use that?
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Wed 21 Jan 2009, 11:08, Reply)

I was looking for that in B&Q the other day
Apparently they'd run out. Same with the left handed screwdrivers and glass hammers. The guy went out to try and find a long weight for me but I don't think he could find one.
(Fredz A graveyard of hopes, a dump of ambition, Wed 21 Jan 2009, 11:10, Reply)

I sent a guy out for a long wait once
He never came back, I don't think he liked the job.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Wed 21 Jan 2009, 11:14, Reply)

Hi!!!
My exams are done, I'm on holiday for 10 days and the sun is shining.

*does happy dance*
(Moniker, Wed 21 Jan 2009, 11:31, Reply)

Hi Moniker
What exams?
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Wed 21 Jan 2009, 11:32, Reply)

Nasty ones!
The ones that the uni sees fit to bestow upon me every 6 months, nothing special. Just unpleasant!
(Moniker, Wed 21 Jan 2009, 11:33, Reply)

Hello Moniker
Haven't seen you hereabouts for a while. Must have been the academic demands on your time then?

Welcome back. The sun's shining here too.

*is stuck indoors*
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Wed 21 Jan 2009, 11:34, Reply)

Ok
Quick question - Do I use The Card Cheat or another Clash song to wind up a playlist?
(Fredz A graveyard of hopes, a dump of ambition, Wed 21 Jan 2009, 11:35, Reply)

Hiya K2k6
How's you?
Yeah, uni's been very inconsiderate like that recently, not much good!
(Moniker, Wed 21 Jan 2009, 11:35, Reply)

What about Guns of Brixton?
One of my favourites...

Depends what else is on the mix though!

Hi Moniker, don't think we've met.
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Wed 21 Jan 2009, 11:37, Reply)

Hi Moniker,
I haven't seen you about since... Well, you know :D

Fredz, how about Guns Of Brixton?
( Cawl, Wed 21 Jan 2009, 11:38, Reply)

Hey Sam
Lovely to meet you, pleasure's all yours! Are you well?
(Moniker, Wed 21 Jan 2009, 11:39, Reply)

Kaol!
Shhhhh......
You KNOW we don't talk about that.
(Moniker, Wed 21 Jan 2009, 11:39, Reply)

I'm very well, thanks Moniker
Been in the lab most of the morning but now I have some time working in my office on the interweb.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Wed 21 Jan 2009, 11:39, Reply)

Oh, sorry...
*hushes up*

So... 10 days off, eh? Lucky sod!
( Cawl, Wed 21 Jan 2009, 11:41, Reply)

Boo on exams
But Yay now that they are finished.

Guns for the win!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Wed 21 Jan 2009, 11:41, Reply)

Did you
make anything fun in your lab K2k6?
(Moniker, Wed 21 Jan 2009, 11:42, Reply)

Hmm.
I had Duke Special in the mix, and also some other stuff. To be honest I'm not actualy liking this one too much - though I did use Brixton Leaves earlier- so Guns of Brixton would make a nice little continuation.... :) Damn. I should get on with some actual stuff in a bit realy. (Edit) And hello Monicker :)
(Fredz A graveyard of hopes, a dump of ambition, Wed 21 Jan 2009, 11:42, Reply)

Fredz
Making mix CD's is something, and far more rewarding than working.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Wed 21 Jan 2009, 11:43, Reply)

Damnn straight!
I'm making one to go with a couple of CDs I'm just copying - Drunken lullabies and Mile from home. I need to make a mix CD to go with it because sending just two copied CD's with no alterations seems wrong somehow....
(Fredz A graveyard of hopes, a dump of ambition, Wed 21 Jan 2009, 11:46, Reply)

I'm not bad thanks Moniker
Another day at the coal face of internet surfing, someone's got to do it though.

You have to use it Fredz, since Kaol and I both suggested it!

I've found this and am now tempted to do a Brixton mix...
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Wed 21 Jan 2009, 11:46, Reply)

That sounds like a plan!
And yes, guns of brixton it is.... Cos apart from anything else it's so damn cool
(Fredz A graveyard of hopes, a dump of ambition, Wed 21 Jan 2009, 11:48, Reply)

I was on the phone
to my girlfriend earlier and was explaining to her what I was doing. But she works in kids' television so I said I was making a white liquid*, a pink liquid, a yellow liquid** and two grey liquids.

And really, that says pretty much enough about what I was doing this morning!

*no, don't go there.

**or there.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Wed 21 Jan 2009, 11:50, Reply)

Are you into the Mescaleros as well Fredz?
Global A Go-Go is well worth a listen, I reckon you'd like it.
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Wed 21 Jan 2009, 11:50, Reply)

Mescaleros?
Just got an album of theirs a week back - and I like what I hear... maybe throw some 101ers in there as well! Actualy - Stiff Lil Fingers has just popped up on random.... Barbed wire love is goin in there I think
(Fredz A graveyard of hopes, a dump of ambition, Wed 21 Jan 2009, 11:53, Reply)

@K2k6
Why?!
(Moniker, Wed 21 Jan 2009, 11:53, Reply)

White liquid = spunk
pink liquid = blood and saliva
yellow liquid = piss
two grey liquids = gruel and spunk mixed with food colouring.

K2k6, I don't know what you're making, possibly Marc Almond's breakfast, but you're a sick motherfucker.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 21 Jan 2009, 11:53, Reply)

I'm going to get Traktor on the go when I get home
and make a mental megamix for all you b3tans...

I will consider it a failure if someone exists who has heard every track on it before!
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Wed 21 Jan 2009, 11:53, Reply)

Sounds like a challenge to me Son of Sam!
Right- I do have to go now and call people and such - but I'll be a'dropping in laters! Cyas all
(Fredz A graveyard of hopes, a dump of ambition, Wed 21 Jan 2009, 11:56, Reply)

Sam
That sounds great, I've heard of some obscure bands in my time though.

And bought records for a lot of them!

I like doing mix tapes/CD's based on mythological creatures, you can get some right great stuff for that!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Wed 21 Jan 2009, 12:03, Reply)

They're actually nanomaterials
which are vitally import....oh fuck it... OK, I had a wank into a bottle, then pissed in another one, etc, etc.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Wed 21 Jan 2009, 12:06, Reply)

I made a mix-CD last night.
Can't remember what I put on it though.

I had a radio show for two years, which was pretty much like making a two-hour mix CD every week, with chatting.
I miss my radio show.

EDIT: "Nanomaterials"... In theory isn't pretty much anything made of fine particles a "nanomaterial"? Like amorphous carbon. Or something?
( Cawl, Wed 21 Jan 2009, 12:07, Reply)

I will strive for obscurity across a multitude of genres
to catch you out :P

The main criterion for selection will be greatness though. I won't just put Albanian nose flute orchestras that sold 5 copies of their LP on there!

We should have a thread where we host mixes online for people to download, hopefully I can inspire people to discover some new stuff and be inspired in return. The album thread gave me the idea.
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Wed 21 Jan 2009, 12:08, Reply)

Good to know
that it's keeping you busy at least K2k6!
(Moniker, Wed 21 Jan 2009, 12:09, Reply)

Oh, K2
you vile excuse for a worm of a human being, stop leaving discarded containers of your bodily fluids lying around, I nearly slipped on a tupperware lid full of your excrement when I was getting my milkybar from the fridge.

What's that, Kaol? I wasn't listening.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 21 Jan 2009, 12:09, Reply)

@Bert
That wasn't a MilkyBar...
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Wed 21 Jan 2009, 12:11, Reply)

I wasn't talking to you, Burt,
You hairy cock-goblin.
( Cawl, Wed 21 Jan 2009, 12:11, Reply)

K2
but I thought it was going to make me tough and strong?

Still can't hear you Kaol, speak up a bit.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 21 Jan 2009, 12:12, Reply)

Nanomaterials
You're right Kaol, but the clever bit is getting the particles to stay nano-sized. Small particles have a tendency to clump together, at which point the materials cease being nano.

But it's a wide field of research, and the 'nano' tag is a buzzword which attracts funding from agencies who don't know what it means, so that's fine.

Edit@Bert - what doesn't kill you will make you stronger. With the possible exception of cancer. And perhaps polio. Or MS. Or...wait a minute - that expression's absolute bollocks.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Wed 21 Jan 2009, 12:13, Reply)

Interesting fact:
"Nano" means "Dwarf".
( Cawl, Wed 21 Jan 2009, 12:14, Reply)

Nano means dwarf
Kaol's got a nano-cock. I've seen it through an electron microscope.

K2, Penicillin is my kryptonite. But I'd gladly eat shit.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 21 Jan 2009, 12:14, Reply)

Yeah,
you remember the film - Snow White and the Seven Nanos?
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Wed 21 Jan 2009, 12:16, Reply)

I might have a nano-cock
But I still posted faster than you.

EDIT: Burt, you wouldn't have a fuckin' clue how to use an Electron Microscope.
Honestly, you'd drool on the screen and lick the dials.
( Cawl, Wed 21 Jan 2009, 12:16, Reply)

OooooOOOOoooo
Well done for using fewer words than I did.

*claps slowly*

EDIT Too right I wouldn't, I haven't the brain capacity, the skill, the qualifications, nor the experience, but I'd still aim it at your cock and mash buttons like an ape on crack.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 21 Jan 2009, 12:17, Reply)

Nanomaterials
I know people thst are into that here!

A mix thread would be fun, I have some stuff which is really good, and a whole lot of shite!

In unrelated news I have just spilt coffee on my keyboard, I can't be bothered to clean it so I just ran a tissue over the keys!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Wed 21 Jan 2009, 12:18, Reply)

Mix CDs are awesome
Back when we all got broadband and started downloading music, we would all be making mix CDs of new and interesting stuff we'd found. As a result I ended up buying far more music than I ever did before.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 21 Jan 2009, 12:19, Reply)

I thought cleaning with tissues
was standard procedure?

It is with my cock.

Edit - I'm off out for a bit. Laters...
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Wed 21 Jan 2009, 12:20, Reply)

Yep
Something the industry tries to gloss over when talking about piracy.

I have an insanely large collection of music on my hard drive, but I have also spent thousands and thousands of pounds on CDs and vinyl over the years. A lot of which I wouldn't have got into had I not illegally downloaded it to start with.
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Wed 21 Jan 2009, 12:21, Reply)

Hahaha!
*mashes buttons like an ape on crack*

Despite everything, I'm grinning like a mong eating walnuts. Good work.

So...
A Question:
Any "cool stuff to do" in London this weekend?
I'm going to the Aquarium, but want another thing to do.
( Cawl, Wed 21 Jan 2009, 12:22, Reply)

K2
I always thought that's what somebody's tounge was for, but my cock doesn't splurt coffee.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Wed 21 Jan 2009, 12:23, Reply)

I too, am especially cheersome today
I feel like a Care Bear who's had too many skittles.

Do rape, or knife crime, I want you to end up being just another statistic.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 21 Jan 2009, 12:24, Reply)

@Kaol
If the wildlife photographer of the year is still on, it was awesome. Was in the Natural History Museum.
(Moniker, Wed 21 Jan 2009, 12:25, Reply)

I'm not a statistic
I'm a free man.

EDIT: Yeah, it's awesome Moniker, but I've been to it already!
( Cawl, Wed 21 Jan 2009, 12:25, Reply)

Nope Kaol
Nothing interesting to do in London, nothing at all. Still you seam to be spending a lot of time there recently.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Wed 21 Jan 2009, 12:27, Reply)

Well...
I've got plans this weekend.
That's all :p
( Cawl, Wed 21 Jan 2009, 12:28, Reply)

Kaol
That sound ominous!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Wed 21 Jan 2009, 12:31, Reply)

Pffft!
Nice plans!
Sod off!
There will be no:

Violence
Theft
Necrophilia
Fraud
Or excessive drunkeness.
( Cawl, Wed 21 Jan 2009, 12:33, Reply)

Kaol
Annie Leibovitz in the national portrait gallery was ace too.
(Moniker, Wed 21 Jan 2009, 12:34, Reply)

And how is B3ta
On this sadly rare* visit?

The depths of debauchery, bad taste of record levels, with added kitten worship?

I do hope so.

*(A job with no web access is a terrible thing)
(osok Rebel without a clue, Wed 21 Jan 2009, 12:36, Reply)

Kaol
Now it sounds even more ominous!

Hi Osok, yup the kittum worshipping shrine is in the corner, feel free.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Wed 21 Jan 2009, 12:38, Reply)

Kaol
March up and down outside the Houses of Parliament waving a sign that says, "Down with fluff! Up with chuff!"
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 21 Jan 2009, 12:39, Reply)

Ta Dok
I needed a quick fluff to mask the memory of true cat ownership, i.e. kicking one of the furry shitmachines arse into the stratosphere for pissing all over the kitchen again.
(osok Rebel without a clue, Wed 21 Jan 2009, 12:40, Reply)

What light in chains said!
^that
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 21 Jan 2009, 12:41, Reply)

It's now
Illegal to protest outside the Houses of Parliament without a pre-ordered licence.
*sighs*

Also, hi Osok, how's it going? Killed anything delicious lately?
( Cawl, Wed 21 Jan 2009, 12:46, Reply)

Correctamundo Kaol
And a crying shame. Time to have a Bastille day.

And in answer to your question, I have a few surprised pheasants in the freezer - sadly I now work weekends so I have to rely on others to do the sweet, sweet killing thang, so I just get my jollies annoying the Mrs by unzipping them in the kitchen and then chasing her around the house with the severed claws.....

Happy Days
(osok Rebel without a clue, Wed 21 Jan 2009, 12:54, Reply)

Hmmm...
You should get some leather gloves, then stitch a pheasant ankle/foot/claw arrangement onto each finger.

CLAW GLOVES.
( Cawl, Wed 21 Jan 2009, 12:56, Reply)

I see a Photoflop Challenge here
Although I never got around to asking you to express visually the wee fishie that swims up yer tallywhacker and needs to be twatted with a mallet to get it out. Shame.

Chainmail gloves, a selection of blades and a mig welder sound more like me. Classy, y'see.
(osok Rebel without a clue, Wed 21 Jan 2009, 13:00, Reply)

Yes!
But now, I must smoke and get coffee, for it is lunchtime.
( Cawl, Wed 21 Jan 2009, 13:04, Reply)

Likewise Grasshopper
For is it not written that if Nicotine and Caffeine are not involved, the Karmic state of lunch-time has not been achieved?

Probably not, admittedly, but I might even be daring and involve food.
(osok Rebel without a clue, Wed 21 Jan 2009, 13:07, Reply)

I'll be going to lunch at 2
I'm going to try to eat my own bodyweight in bacon sandwiches.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 21 Jan 2009, 13:21, Reply)

For fuck's sake
does everybody go to lunch at 1?

You bunch of arse-raping, cock-minge-ing felch buggers
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 21 Jan 2009, 13:27, Reply)

Tit wank bollock
cock fuck willy bum arse minge labia fart trump flange dick nob boob nipple testes bottom cunt shit cack ass schlong gertruder-intruder gimp sex zucchini rape fist belm glomp felch poo
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 21 Jan 2009, 13:30, Reply)

Uuurpp
That's better. Food, fag & coffee necked, status reset to 'alive'. A splash of rum in the coffee wouldn't have gone amiss seeing as it is fecking freezing in these here parts, but someone told me once that lunchtime drinkypoos and the use of ladders should not be combined.

Well, not unless falling through a ceiling and being discovered by the Mrs hanging upside down by the knackers in several hours is your idea of a fun day off.


Edit Bert you forgot 'poo'. And 'His Satanic Majesty's Shaft of Eternal Pain and Pleasure'

Eds again. Bugger. You didn't. Spunkgobbling pustulent chancre on the fleshy buttocks of a leper whore, that you are.
(osok Rebel without a clue, Wed 21 Jan 2009, 13:33, Reply)

I'm back.
2pm is far too late for me to have lunch. Especially since I get here at 8.15am.

And I bugger off home before 5.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Wed 21 Jan 2009, 13:34, Reply)

At 2 I'm finished for the day
HUZZAH!

EDIT osok, I did forget 'poo', but I edited it in there
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 21 Jan 2009, 13:36, Reply)

Bert
Oh good, that's the Early Onset Alzheimer's theory out the window then.

Tramp-rimming, tagnut munching spunkdump.
(osok Rebel without a clue, Wed 21 Jan 2009, 13:46, Reply)

I like to have my lunch at 12.45
As that represents the halfway point of the day. I'm sad like that, I don't want my afternoon to be longer than my morning. Or indeed shorter.

12.45 on a Wednesday also represents the halfway point of the week, woo!

(One of my most OCD tendencies is the necessity to know the percentage of completion of anything that I'm doing. I'm manually editing database records at the moment and keep diving back to Excel to divide the number I'm on by the total, so I can monitor my progress. Currently on 3.76%. I can't believe I just typed all that.)
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Wed 21 Jan 2009, 13:46, Reply)

I prefer shorter afternoons
That way I feel better knowing I don't have much workday left.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 21 Jan 2009, 13:58, Reply)

Me too
I work better in the mornings, so tend to do a slightly longer morning and shorter afternoon.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Wed 21 Jan 2009, 14:07, Reply)

Well
Fuck you all.
I'm here 'til half five.
Or maybe as late as seven.
Then I'll cook dinner, draw this weeks comic and cry/wank myself to sleep.
( Cawl, Wed 21 Jan 2009, 14:10, Reply)

I'm here til 5
Then I'm going home to cook rainbow trout for my tea. Then I'm going to get really stoned and make a mix for your listening pleasure tomorrow*

*Or I may just have a wank and go to sleep, I'll see how energetic I'm feeling. Haven't slept properly for what feels like years, but is probably only weeks or months.
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Wed 21 Jan 2009, 14:13, Reply)

*dons hat*
*dances around*

It's close to midnight and something evil's lurking in the dark
Under the moonlight, you see a sight that almost stops your heart
You try to scream but terror takes the sound before you make it
You start to freeze as horror looks you right between the eyes
You're paralyzed

'Cause this is threadkiller, threadkiller night
And no one's gonna save you from the beast about strike
You know it's threadkiller, threadkiller night
You're fighting for your life inside a killer, threadkiller tonight

You hear the door slam and realize there's nowhere left to run
You feel the cold hand and wonder if you'll ever see the sun
You close your eyes and hope that this is just imagination, girl!
But all the while you hear the creature creeping up behind
You're out of time

'Cause this is threadkiller, threadkiller night
There ain't no second chance against the thing with forty eyes, girl
Threadkiller, threadkiller night
You're fighting for your life inside a killer, threadkiller tonight
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Wed 21 Jan 2009, 14:31, Reply)

Sam
Stop that, that's silly!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Wed 21 Jan 2009, 14:32, Reply)

I'm here till 4:30
Then I'll be grabbing a bottle of wine or two on my way home, ordering a family size pizza with all the toppings, and monging out in front of the pc. Yay!
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 21 Jan 2009, 14:39, Reply)

Sam
You have to wait a little longer for those of us painstakingly tapping out our messages on a touchscreen phone before declaring a thread killed.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 21 Jan 2009, 14:47, Reply)

Sorry...
Had to make a label template for one of the office-'tards.

*sighs*
( Cawl, Wed 21 Jan 2009, 14:52, Reply)

I am
in the office till 16:30, but then again I don't get in the house till 18:30 or later.

Then I have to cook.

My life is boring!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Wed 21 Jan 2009, 15:07, Reply)

Hey...
where is everyone?
( thealternativefact, Wed 21 Jan 2009, 15:35, Reply)

Lo Drixy
I'm sort of here. In and out.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Wed 21 Jan 2009, 15:37, Reply)

Hi! I'm in and out as well
I'm busy reading the entire internet, this place seems to be slightly dead today.
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Wed 21 Jan 2009, 15:39, Reply)

I've been drinking coffee
So, so dead on here today.

This is the slowest day of the year at work for me so far.

The three of us in my office had a 50p sweepstake on "How many people would walk past our office window in ten minutes".
I'm now £1 better off.
This is how bored we are.
( Cawl, Wed 21 Jan 2009, 15:41, Reply)

Well,
I'm glad you've all survived the excitement!
( thealternativefact, Wed 21 Jan 2009, 15:42, Reply)

I'm here
And spreading propaganda for whoever wants it!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Wed 21 Jan 2009, 15:43, Reply)

Booooored.
*twitches*

I'm just drinking coffee and reading wikipedia this afternoon.
( Cawl, Wed 21 Jan 2009, 15:52, Reply)

*watches Kaol twitching*
*sniggers*
( thealternativefact, Wed 21 Jan 2009, 16:01, Reply)

*watches clendrix sniggering*
*twitches*

GOD I'm bored. Not sure I can handle the next 51 minutes without going insane.

If I had any flexi time left I'd finish early!

*considers adding extra flexi time onto system*
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Wed 21 Jan 2009, 16:09, Reply)

Awf fuck,
I just found out that Johnny Truant have split up.
That sucks :(
( Cawl, Wed 21 Jan 2009, 16:10, Reply)

Do it, Sam!
Add the time!

Kaol, poor Johnny.
( thealternativefact, Wed 21 Jan 2009, 16:13, Reply)

I'm not convinced it's a good idea
As I already added 90 mins on yesterday so I could jib off work early, because I was in exactly this mood...

To fully cover my tracks I'd have to do some more advanced tinkering with the time management software, as it sums the totals at the end of each month and that's visible to my boss boss (my direct boss wouldn't give a fuck). And doing some coding feels too much like work. Gah.

I'll make some coffee, that'll waste some time. Anyone for a cup?
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Wed 21 Jan 2009, 16:15, Reply)

In other news
Who else can't fucking wait for Resident Evil 5 to come out?
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Wed 21 Jan 2009, 16:18, Reply)

Sam,
I'm going to live vicariously though you.
Go flirt with Crazy Girl.
Dooooo iiiiit!
( Cawl, Wed 21 Jan 2009, 16:18, Reply)

In other news
I want Mass Effect 2 to come out.
( Cawl, Wed 21 Jan 2009, 16:19, Reply)

I'd love some coffee.
I know nothing of Resident Evil.
( thealternativefact, Wed 21 Jan 2009, 16:19, Reply)

Resident Evil?
Nah, couldn't give a stuff. Sorry. Don't do computer games at all.

(Resident Evil is a computer game, right?)

/ignorant
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Wed 21 Jan 2009, 16:20, Reply)

Yeah, it is a computer game
I wasn't a fan of the first few (third person ones with annoying absolute movement), but RE4 was amazing. One of the best games I've ever played. You'd like it K2, you have to kill zombies, and who doesn't like that?

I haven't played Mass Effect yet Kaol!

And I'm not going to see creepy/crazy girl, that's too much for me to cope with! And I'd have to walk down some stairs.

It's very warm in here and I'm losing my will to do anything at all.
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Wed 21 Jan 2009, 16:22, Reply)

The only computer games I've played and enjoyed
were the Myst ones, which were really just puzzles that happened to be manifested on a computer and required no operational skill whatsoever.

I can't raise any enthusiasm for playing games where motor skills have to be learned in order to play it successfully. It just doesn't interest me at all, sorry!

Killing zombies would be a fun pastime, but I suspect I'd get a bit bored of it after a while.

I'm no fun, me.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Wed 21 Jan 2009, 16:28, Reply)

Afternoon you slags
I'm not here for long. My toes are wet and i'm bored.

What should I do tonight? Mrs al is out with some friends leaving me all alone.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 21 Jan 2009, 16:30, Reply)

@K2K6
Me either. I have the reactions of a retarded tortoise and the hand-eye co-ordination of a blind amputee. Give me turn-based or puzzle games anytime.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 21 Jan 2009, 16:35, Reply)

Oh fuck you all then
I'll just sit on the sofa with the lights out all night then.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 21 Jan 2009, 16:37, Reply)

Al,
come to class with me and pretend to give a shit about other people.
( thealternativefact, Wed 21 Jan 2009, 16:39, Reply)

Okay
can i have a pink rubber on the end of my pencil?
(Bazongaloid, Wed 21 Jan 2009, 16:40, Reply)

You can have a pink rubber on the end of
whatever you want. It's a very accepting class.
( thealternativefact, Wed 21 Jan 2009, 16:42, Reply)

Crikey
That petered out a bit.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 21 Jan 2009, 18:19, Reply)

ugh that was a long day
And I have to do the same but slightly longer tomorrow :(

Lots of cute farmers there though ;) I may have fixed the raffle so a particularly cute one won :p
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 21 Jan 2009, 18:32, Reply)