*lusty impression*
It's Fucking Friday, you fuckers!

Come on in and waste the day away in here, we can't be doing any work on a Friday.

Today's Home Sweet Home thread is sponsored by Mario.


(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 8:57, 268 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

*incomprehensible sounds and noises*
Errooblooblooblooblooblooperererooobloobloobloop

*more incomprehensible sounds and noises*
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 9:00, Reply)

By 'eck
It's quiet today!
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 9:22, Reply)

One reply?
Is everyone snowed in?

It's snowing heavily here but I thought I should make it in to work as the roads weren't that bad :(
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 9:22, Reply)

It's still snowing heavy here
I predict that the usual suspects here at work will use it as an excuse to stay at home.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 9:24, Reply)

Bloobloobloo bloobloobloobleebloobloo

( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 9:24, Reply)

*cunts Bert in the fuck*
I was tempted to stay in bed but it really isn't that bad today

*waves at Lab and k3 and sam*
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 9:27, Reply)

Snowing lots here.
But I'm at work.

Hoping that the transport links aren't fucked, as I need to get to London this evening, and Wales tomorrow morning.
( Cawl, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 9:27, Reply)

wakkawakka wakkawakka

blipbloop-bloopblip
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 9:31, Reply)

Ningal
I have just had my Friday fry-up and all is right with the world.
Well, not counting the shortness of breath and the tingly numbness in my left arm.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 9:31, Reply)

Morning all
It's an early start to a long day. Bring it on, that's all I have to say.

Except it isn't really, as I'm also going to ask how you all are?

And comment that Bert appears to be rather broken.
(PenguinsOfDeath doesn't much like this, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 9:32, Reply)

You're a lord now PoD?
Bert was broken a long long time ago
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 9:33, Reply)

Ningle you lot
It was snowing here in Central London, but it's changed to rain now.

That makes me sad because it means I won't be able o sod of home early!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 9:34, Reply)

Errrr... err..... nerrrr..... errr....
Nyow! Nyow! Nyow! Nyow!

Pah-chuh pahchuh!

Rooooooooo... ar.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 9:35, Reply)

Sonic Boom!
Fwwwwwsh-sswwsh-sswwsh-sswwsh-sswwsh-sswwsh
( Cawl, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 9:37, Reply)

zip-zip-zip ziiiiiip
*sploosh*

Honk-honk
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 9:37, Reply)

Ker-plink! Ker-plink!
Zeoow! Zeoow!
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Fri 6 Feb 2009, 9:38, Reply)

Raaar Raaar
blam-blam blam-blam

Katoooie. Pssssssooooooo.... tok.

Blam
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 9:40, Reply)

Bew-ooow Bee-ooow Bee-ooow
crunch!
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Fri 6 Feb 2009, 9:41, Reply)

Morning all who've turned up *waves*
I was here, just not posting because I am a massive spastic and managed to pour an entire cup of boiling hot tea over myself, my desk, my computer, my phone, etc etc

Took me quite a while to clear up! Now all my clothes are soaking wet. I have made another cup of tea and am being very careful with it.

Edit: haha! and someone just walked into my office and caught me in the middle of a big air drum solo. Complete with my jazz face on and everything
In other news, there's no snow here at all today, a bit left on the fields but no fresh stuff. I hope it snows tonight so I can go sledging tomorrow.
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 9:41, Reply)

"Jazz Face"?
Hahaha!

Is that a technical term?
( Cawl, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 9:45, Reply)

It's the serious concentrating face that jazz musicians make during a particularly good solo
(if you've ever seen any jazz you'll know what I mean)

I was air drumming along to it and got carried away a bit. Ah well, I have very little sense of shame.

Edit: www.youtube.com/watch?v=-J7szWDytCw (random first bit of jazz I found)

Particularly check out Herbie Hancock's face at about the 45 second mark...
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 9:47, Reply)

Apparently there
is a blizzard on it's way here from Oxford. woot woot
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 9:49, Reply)

It must be a very well-educated blizzard


EDIT and I've stopped doing computer game noises now, would anybody like to guess which games I was imitating?
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 9:49, Reply)

Jazz Face
That look of wild abandon on the look of any Jazz musicians face while gigging. Mainly because they've forgotten what they are supposed to be playing!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 9:50, Reply)

Was it Super Mario Bros2?

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 9:51, Reply)

Nah
It's cos they're really feeling it, maaaan...

Either that or they really need a shit.

I am listening to some rather good jazz, you can almost hear the facial expressions on the record.
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 9:51, Reply)

Morning guys
I had a trouble free journey to work (roads were almost completely clear) until I got stuck on the M10 for an hour - A lorry had jack knifed.

Wish I'd had a camera on me though. I built a snowman at the side of the hardshoulder. Found some arms and a nose in the woods, gave him leaves for eyes and even furnished him with a grassy toupe!
( Captain V, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 9:51, Reply)

V this is why
you need a phone from this millennium with a camera on it :p
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 9:54, Reply)

TGB
Nope, each post was a different game.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 9:54, Reply)

Cymbals
Do you think he had enough cymbals?

V, nice one di you not have a camera phone?

Hi Badger.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 9:54, Reply)

oh ok then
was the first one tetris?
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 9:55, Reply)

He's Billy Cobham though
The best drummer in the world, ever. He's about the only drummer that's allowed that many cymbals. He does actually play them all, it's mental!
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 9:55, Reply)

I know
But he really doesn't need that many. It's still fun to watch and listen when he does though.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 9:57, Reply)

No
Tetris would be 'dernernerner-nernerner-nernernerner.

Der-ner-nerner-nernernernerner-nerner

Doo-doo doo-do

It may be impossible to win this game, as the first was one actually the Clangers.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 9:57, Reply)

Badger
I think a phone from the last millennium would suffice. This is the first time, ever, that I've thought a camera on my phone would be useful but I can't imagine there are any with cameras actually worth using that are cheap enough for me to want to buy.
( Captain V, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 9:58, Reply)

Bert I don't like your game any more :(

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 10:01, Reply)

Okay
well the last one was Tomb Raider.

The second one was Silkworm.

The third one was Pac-man

The fourth was TIE Fighter.

And the fifth was Quake, but with a goose.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 10:03, Reply)

Silkworm!
Brings it back... I still have an .adf file of it somewhere for UAE.

Morning all BTW, happy Friday at last.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Fri 6 Feb 2009, 10:05, Reply)

Have you got Spectrum, Dok?
(his first solo album)

There's a few solo drum tracks on there, which I'd usually find a bit wanky, but his playing is sickeningly good. Better dynamics than anyone else I've ever heard...

And he pretty much invented open handed drumming!

Edit: Morning PJM
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 10:06, Reply)

Sam
I have to hang my head in shame and say no, I've only listened to his stuff from my brothers music collection.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 10:10, Reply)

Well, that's my recommendation for the day Dok!
I'm listening to Bitches Brew now but I had Spectrum on earlier. Looks like it's going to be Jazz Friday.

In other news: WTF???
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 10:11, Reply)

Sam
That bird looked alright to me, if she wants to carve her name into me after a night of back-breaking sex, who are we to argue?
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 10:13, Reply)

WTF indeed!!
How crazy do you have to be to do that?!
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 10:13, Reply)

About as crazy
as I am. *carves things*
( Captain V, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 10:21, Reply)

I wouldn't say no.
If it was me doing the carving.
( Cawl, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 10:23, Reply)

Morning you lot!
What would the music for Goose-Kong go like?
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 10:25, Reply)

It was you, wasn't it?
Is your name actually Dominique not Kaol?
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 10:25, Reply)

And I'll take the recomendation.
What I want to know is, who goes to somebodies house for sex, then get shitfaced on Vodka and takes Valium?
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 10:25, Reply)

Er...
If it helps, my name isn't Kaol, in the real world, no.
( Cawl, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 10:27, Reply)

It is a bit of a strange choice of drug
Bit different from Viagra!

Edit: Your name isn't Kaol? You lied to me! *feels offended*
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 10:28, Reply)

Haha!
What kind of a name is "Kaol"?
*laughs*

It's certainly not a real one!
( Cawl, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 10:30, Reply)

roota
It would go 'doo-diddly-do doo-doo

HONK! HONK!

Doo-diddly-do doo-doo

HONK! HONK!
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 10:30, Reply)

What kind of a name is it indeed?
You mean this isn't your website? Or maybe this?

Morning roota, didn't spot you up there!
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 10:31, Reply)

Surely Goose-Kong would go
Do da-doo da doodly-doo HONK HONK
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 10:33, Reply)

If it is I'll kill him in his sleep
For creating such an abomination.
( Captain V, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 10:34, Reply)

That's certainly not my site...
One of the things there seems to be a song call "Mud-Wrestling Miss", which is copyright 1981.
I wasn't born then.

EDIT: That's not me either. Sorry.
( Cawl, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 10:34, Reply)

so it would! ta!
I just did my first ever post on the QOTW pub topic.
The stars must be well aligned. I made my first post on OT yesterday, lamenting that none of the QOTW are ever relevant to me, and one lands in my lap. Spooky.
My post isn't that good, and I'm sure I have better stories, but I thought I should just fire one off, like ripping off a plaster.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 10:35, Reply)

FUCK YOU ALL!
Gently of course.
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 10:35, Reply)

Morning Ethel!
Fuck me hard, not gently.
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 10:36, Reply)

*gasp*
roota, you're a girl...?!

*hides away in the corner crying*
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 10:36, Reply)

Roota
I've spent many and evening in pubs, but my mind has gone blank as to a good story that would fit this week.

I have so many, some of them are shite though.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 10:37, Reply)

roota
Do you have oversized hands and feet, or is your resemblance to Uma Thurman based on something else?

Edit: yeah Dok, I'm trying to dredge the funny stories up from my memory as well. I must have spent a significant proportion of the last ten years in pubs, and nothing is coming to mind just yet.
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 10:37, Reply)

People on messageboards always think I'm a bloke
until I mention something that gives it away. I wonder why that is.
What are you then Bert?

EDIT Sam, I have a similar haircut to Mrs Mia Wallace. It's more of a Swing Out Sister really. I'm tiny. I bear no resemblance to Uma Thurman
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 10:38, Reply)

That's because there's no women on the internet
Only men pretending. Fact.

Bert is unisex. Or Monkeysex, which means you're male, female and a monkey.
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 10:38, Reply)

Bert?
He's a wanker.
( Cawl, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 10:39, Reply)

I think it's just a sexist assumption
The stereotypical nerd is a bloke with specs, so I'm always shocked when I see girls on the internet.

I am neither here nor there, I have the genitalia of a seahorse.

Kaol's right, I'm also a chronic wanker.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 10:40, Reply)

Bert
well, maybe I'm the opposite of you. My mind is of indeterminate gender, but physically I am female.
Wow, I wonder if I could've kidded everybody along that I was a bloke...
i'd have thought I was dead cool, like the Fonz
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 10:42, Reply)

Despite thinking I would have lots of school stories
I didn't post any to that one and have two on the first page of this one.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 10:42, Reply)

Morning Light
So you're more of a drinker than a scholar then?
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 10:43, Reply)

It's great, roota
I pretend to be a bloke all the time.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 10:43, Reply)

Eyyyy
Welcome Wootar
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 10:43, Reply)

morning, Friday B3tans
Lucky not to be at home. *lovely* evening. Cheers to Bert, you sexy monkey! You seem to be ascending. Great day to all.
( cackers, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 10:45, Reply)

I'm actually an old man
I send a young girl along to bashes to keep up my pretence though
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 10:46, Reply)

So BGB was right
Kaol you were wrong.

*points and laughs*

The only stories that spring to mind are wrong uns though!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 10:47, Reply)

Morning cackers
What will this evening bring us this morning?
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 10:47, Reply)

Will I
ever do any work again?
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 10:48, Reply)

cackers
Your posts always straddle the line between poetic nonsense and gibberific hoopla.

I like it, and you're another girl too. It's extraordinary.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 10:48, Reply)

TGB
I know :(

I'm never visiting you again.
Three days handcuffed to a radiator, being force-fed Worthers Originals is rubbish.
( Cawl, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 10:49, Reply)

No, roota, fraid not
Once you're here you'll never leave...

It's a bit like the Hotel California in that respect.
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 10:50, Reply)

Morning Cackers
Roota, nope you'll never work again.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 10:50, Reply)

Bert,
They must be women, no man can fake that well.
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 10:50, Reply)

Kaol
you loved the wethers. And you were only chained up as you tried to molest the other old men in the retirement home
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 10:52, Reply)

Badger old man
You should have known that Werthers would send young Kaol into a sexual frenzy.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 10:58, Reply)

do Werthers
really work?
*notes it down*
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 10:59, Reply)

They do Roota
But only if they are given to young men by dirty old ones!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 11:00, Reply)

Works on me roota
Herr gives them to me regularly.
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 11:01, Reply)

what about
given to young men by dirty old omen?

EDIT: I'm leaving this here because it's made me laugh!!!
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 11:02, Reply)

what about
given to young men by dirty old women?
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 11:02, Reply)

Red
You promised you wouldn't tell anybody about that.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 11:02, Reply)

Its more fun with gossip
than our dirty little secret.

Anyway, we still have that hat thing you do ;-)
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 11:03, Reply)

I'd imagine so...
Likely only one way to find out...
( Cawl, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 11:03, Reply)

Werthers Originals
Are given to children by lecherous old men to improve sucking technique.

This improvement is applied elsewhere....





but where?
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 11:04, Reply)

I'll stock up on the ole werthers
for when you all come down for my birthday :p
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 11:05, Reply)

It works even better
when given to dirty old men by young women though.

And yes, the Hat thing.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 11:05, Reply)

Birthday Bukkake
Sponsored by Werthers?
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 11:05, Reply)

TDW
Sounds good, as long as it isn't involving me in the middle.
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 11:08, Reply)

Back again
Apologies for my absence, I was working, and then working on my comic, which is now up.

Yes, that was shameless, no i don't care.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 11:14, Reply)

Data entry with a headache is bad
Drinking 7.3% cider on a Thursday night might not have been the most sensible thing I've ever done.
( Captain V, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 11:17, Reply)

Lab
Linky please.

V, didn't you do that last week as well?
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 11:18, Reply)

Lab,
That's great!
The last frame made me laugh lots!
( Cawl, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 11:18, Reply)

Dok
Here you go, but I posted the link in a new topic in OT :p

Kaol, thought you might like the last bit ;)
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 11:21, Reply)

Dok
I didn't drink during the week last week. A few weeks back I was drinking midweek (in a different pub) and had the choice of a 7.5% or a 5.5% cider. Plumped for the 5.5% one that night.
( Captain V, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 11:22, Reply)

Lab
Fucker, that's great. Especially the last panel!

EDIT OK V it must have been somebody else.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 11:22, Reply)

Oh yeah Lab's comic
I knew I was supposed to look at something...

I was distracted by porn though
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 11:23, Reply)

Distracted by porn Badger
Are you not at work?
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 11:28, Reply)

Not yesterday
I wasn't watching porn though I was distracted by Dexter.

hehe that last frame is very good lab you funny funny little man
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 11:29, Reply)

Feeling a little hungover myself
Had half a bottle of previously opened Sangiovese and then a bottle of Primitivo. At 9:30 I thought about wandering down to the corner shop for another bottle as it was clear I would run out before 11. Glad I didn't now as I feel a bit rough as it is.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 11:30, Reply)

Thanks!
Glad you like it :) I do welcome any constructive criticism though.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 11:30, Reply)

Can't... resist...
It's shit lol!!!111!!

Of course it isn't, I'm being facetious.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 11:31, Reply)

Lab
It's simply done, like a Lowery painting, I like simple.

EDIT Bert, you missed out TEH B0000B13S
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 11:33, Reply)

*cries*
*from his cock*

Edit: It's simple because I can't draw :p I ike it though, it's fun to do.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 11:33, Reply)

Would you be able to try doing it by hand
and scanning it in, like I did with Schizo? I think it's more personal if it's hand drawn, but it's up to you which style you choose.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 11:36, Reply)

I might give it a go
But with Paint I can erase/undo my countless mistakes.

Plus I can copy/paste bits in ;)
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 11:37, Reply)

Mmm toast
I've been to the shop for some Werthers
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 11:39, Reply)

Before Paint was invented by Bill Gates
People used a pencil and eraser, they're quite effective.

And best of all, once scanned you can edit the image, add text, do what you like.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 11:40, Reply)

Hand-drawn is cool.
But like you say, if you make a mistake, you're fucked.

Especially if you're not using pencil.
( Cawl, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 11:40, Reply)

It's stopped snowing I'm sad
Ooh some office drama though
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 11:41, Reply)

I'm eating
jazzies.

Not had them for years!
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 11:41, Reply)

Kaol
You should ALWAYS use pencil, and then go over it in ink.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 11:41, Reply)

Yeah...
But whenever I want to draw something, I always end up only being able to find a biro...

Anyway, I like drawing in photoshop, I'm more used to it.
( Cawl, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 11:43, Reply)

Lab
That's boss!
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 11:43, Reply)

I was in the shop the other day
and I saw those little rolls of Frosties the hard sweet things. I may have to buy some later :D
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 11:44, Reply)

Badger
make sure they're the red ones that taste of Kola Kubes, and not the multi-coloured ones that have boring yellow flavour
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 11:45, Reply)

Folks
I can't draw to save my life, but I've been impressed with both Kaol and Lab comics.

I've been inspired to do my own, but I don't have a scanner at the moment, and my Tablet has gone up the creek with me still holding the paddle!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 11:45, Reply)

We work with what we're given
I'll experiment with pencil and paper soon I think :)

What's the office drama, Badger?
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 11:45, Reply)

TGB
you just made me sad. I used to buy all my refreshers, curly wurlies and frosties from Woolworths.

But now they're gone, I might cry.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 11:46, Reply)

Ah, refeshers!
There's an old-fashioned shop here, tobacco in jars, that kinda thing.
Sells all the sweets like that too though, it's awesome.
It has sherbert fountains and walnut whips.
( Cawl, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 11:49, Reply)

oooh walnut whips!
*gropes Bert to cheer him up*

They have quite a lot of old school sweets in the shop
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 11:51, Reply)

We have one of those as well Kaol
It's fucking expensive, but then so is all of Stratford.

Thanks roota!
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 11:52, Reply)

My mum owns a sweet shop
Loads of penny sweets, and all the old fashioned weigh out ones in jars.

Shame I can't eat any of them! :(

roota - take it you're a Scouser then? :P

Edit: good comic Lab! I wish I could do one, not where my skills lie sadly...
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 11:53, Reply)

Walnut whips are ace
I had three yesterday, all to myself, I didn't share them. It would take a lot for me to share them with anybody!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 11:54, Reply)

Sam,
Is that why you can't eat 'em now?
Or did fate deal you a cruel hand right from the start?
( Cawl, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 11:54, Reply)

three?
Dok you big piggy. WOuld you share them with me? *flutters eyelashes*
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 11:55, Reply)

As of a couple of years ago, I'm diabetic
So sweets are verboten. Still eat them occasionally, although I really really shouldn't!
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 11:56, Reply)

Sam
was it my use of a certain four-letter word..?
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 11:58, Reply)

I don't like Walnut Whips
Sherbert Fountains are WIN though.

Thanks for the compliment Sam!

And yes, I'm reckoning roota is either a scouser, or a student in scouserland.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 11:58, Reply)

Awh, that sucks!
I knew you were, but wondered which type.

At least tobacco is sugar-free, eh?
( Cawl, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 11:59, Reply)

Maybe Badger
But you'd have to be nice.

Sam, that sucks, I know a few diabetics and it always makes me feel guilty eating sweets when they're about.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 12:00, Reply)

Lab
For Sherbert Fountains I'd marry somebody and have their babies!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 12:02, Reply)

Tobacco is sugar free, fucks the rest of me up though
Best to file it under the 'things not to think about, under any circumstances' section.

I'm type 1 btw, proper diabetic :P

Yeah roota, haha, I lived there myself until a few months ago. Bit of a giveaway!
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 12:02, Reply)

You too Sam?
I lived there for four years, it's still my favourite city in the UK.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 12:03, Reply)

Yeah I like it a lot. Certainly a fuck sight better than where I am at the moment
You go to uni there as well?
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 12:04, Reply)

Yep, Uni of Liverpool
2000 - 2004

Good times, good times.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 12:04, Reply)

yup, I'm a Liver Bird
Sam I swear that word is genetically present in the brains of all scousers. We cannot stop ourselves.

Lab and Dok There've been times when I'd have killed for a good old Fountain. Never eat the licorice though.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 12:05, Reply)

Just missed you then, I went in 2005!
Which part of Liverpool do you hail from roota?

And yes, you ALL say boss...

Are you orange? :P
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 12:06, Reply)

The licorice is ace!
Save up all the licorice, I'll have it.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 12:07, Reply)

Sam
I couldn't be less orange if I tried. I am deathly white.
I'm a townie. Right bang in the centre. None of your suburban dithering for me.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 12:08, Reply)

Liverpool...
My only experience of it is bad.
I worked there for a few weeks, ripping out partition walls in an old passenger ferry that was in the docks.

The docks are not a nice place to live.
( Cawl, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 12:08, Reply)

Lab
From now on, I will share all my licorice equally between you and my little mum.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 12:09, Reply)

Ha
Surely you're not a proper Scouser if you're not orange?

Town centre for me as well, spent three years mostly within spitting distance of Hope Street, in various flats & houses.

I also lived on the big rusty red ship in the Albert Dock for a while, til we got thrown out!

Edit: they are quite a nice place to live Kaol, although they disapproved of a load of scruffy hippies living on a boat/floating squat/building site that was outside all the bars trying to charge £5 for a pint of Carling...

We didn't even have a working toilet, I spent a few months going for my morning shit in the Tate gallery!

Edit 2: Krazy House is still there (if you like that sort of thing!), Quiggins closed a couple of years ago though :(
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 12:10, Reply)

Trust
Kaol to put a downer on the whole thing.

Never been to Liverpool driven past it a lot though!

Is duckie lurking around here anywhere? *here duckie duckier duckie*
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 12:10, Reply)

Roota
Is the Krazy House still there? Quiggins?
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 12:10, Reply)

Haha!
This ship I was on was in the Albert Dock too, not the red one though, t'was white.

EDIT: And very rusty. And full of car tyres and asbestos.

EDIT 2: And a fuck-load of mouldy Russian porn.
( Cawl, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 12:11, Reply)

Woo
Scousemania
Lab The Krazyhouse will always be there. I think Liverpool would crumble if they demolished the old Khazi-house!
Quiggins has relocated to opposite Rapid. The building is really cool, but it's different and it makes me feel old when I see all the kids in their skinny jeans and fluorescent tutus. WTF?
Kaol Most people who live near the docks pay a fortune, so stop whining haha.
Sam I'M the true scouser, they are the universal scally orange women. A good scouse girl is pale and interesting ; )
Sounds like we may have been neighbours too!
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 12:15, Reply)

Scousers are lovely
Scallies are not.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 12:16, Reply)

The new Quiggins isn't nearly as good though is it?
But I LOVE Rapid. It's probably my favourite shop in the world. Takes about half a day to locate anything!

I didn't pay a penny of rent all the time I lived at the docks :P

Do I know you then?! Knew quite a few of the Scousers on my street(s)...
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 12:17, Reply)

I've never been to Liverpool either
And like Badger only been past it in a car.

I was going to North Wales at the time. I wish somebody had of told me North Wales was shit!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 12:18, Reply)

Did
somebody call me?
( rubberduck should only be used after consulting with your GP, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 12:18, Reply)

haha
How do I bleeding know if you know me!

God knows what goes on in the deepest bowels of Rapid Hardware. I reckon their underground network stretches beneath the whole city. George Harrison's probably alive in there, stripping varnish off old doors as an act of contemplative meditation
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 12:19, Reply)

Did you not get that memo Dok?
North Wales is rubbish. Even the rest of Wales hates the place.

@ roota, good point! I'm sure you'd remember if you'd met me though :P
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 12:21, Reply)

Sam
Ditto.
I'm always staggering round that general vicinity, either talking to tramps or being drunk and singing along to my WALKMAN (it's not a Walkman, but I am old, so I like to call it that.)
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 12:24, Reply)

Hey Duckie!
Just wondering how you are :) You heard anything else about Easter yet?

If you do have to go to abu dhabi (?) you have to bring me tat back :p
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 12:27, Reply)

Ahh, the tramps...
We operated a bit of a homeless hostel in my spare room for a while. Quite funny how much it pissed my other flatmate off!

Do you know Peter, the black keyboard player? And that woman with no teeth that's always outside Bargain Booze, can't remember her name tho. And the fella with steel drums made out of cooking oil drums.

Was going to record an album of buskers but never got round to it...
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 12:29, Reply)

Sam
I must have been away the day that memo came out.

*cries*

I hate North Wales, it's worse than Glasgow! At least in Glasgow there is something to do.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 12:30, Reply)

I'm assuming she'd dead or nicked
Haven't seen her for ages.

Oil drum man appears now and again.

Don't think I know Peter. You've just made me think of Wesley Willis though!

Stephen with the mouldy leg now has NO legs at all. He wheels up and down Bold Street looking pissed off.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 12:32, Reply)

I'm fine
apart from an unplanned 70mph sideways moment at the top of the M40 at 6.30am this morning. Certainly woke me up anyway.

I'm definitely off to the UAE for Easter :-( I'll have to bring back model camel pressies for everyone.
( rubberduck should only be used after consulting with your GP, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 12:35, Reply)

Ducky Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
We'll miss you at the Edinbash, we will ahev to raise our glasses in tribute to the fallen.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 12:37, Reply)

Duckie that sucks
I hope you ranted a lot about it though!

Guess that means the Hoggmobile will be travelling North of the border then :p
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 12:41, Reply)

TGB
Bagsy a place!
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 12:43, Reply)

Yay 6 hours of
annoying Lab in a small confined space :p
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 12:44, Reply)

Trust me
I think my management have been educated into a whole new meaning of the word ranted, it taking on a form several magnitudes higher than even their PMS-riddled wives could ever have managed.

It didn't do any good though :-(

I'll have to make up for it at TGB's birthday bash :-)
( rubberduck should only be used after consulting with your GP, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 12:47, Reply)

Oh Lab
I don't grudge you that honour.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 12:47, Reply)

It's ok, I have rohypnol
For myself.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 12:49, Reply)

Bring some tunes Lab
Or I'll have to sing the whole way up
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 12:52, Reply)

HI guys!
How is everyone today?
(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 6 Feb 2009, 12:58, Reply)

Well guys
If you need a third/fourth for petrol money, give me a shout.

Hi Vamp, I'm a bit damp today thanks. How're things in the land down under?
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 13:02, Reply)

Hello VC
How are you?
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 13:04, Reply)

Things in down under
are now officially awesome - because it has now officially been my birthday for 4 minutes!!!!
YAYAYAYAYAY! I'm 17!!!!

Sorry about the rain.

I'm 17!!!!1!1!ELEVENTYONE11!!!11
(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 6 Feb 2009, 13:04, Reply)

Happy Birthday VC
I get the feeling you're somewhat excited.

Dok I shall let you know :)
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 13:05, Reply)

Happy Birthday!
I'm new.
It's also Bob Marley's birthday, and my mate's.
It's mine tomorrow.
Oh, to be 17 again...
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 13:07, Reply)

TGB
I've had four coffees in the last four hours to stay awake at work and now all my pent up energy is resurfacing cos I'm happy that it's my birthday!

i love birthdays! An excuse to be late to work AND drink AND I get to spend time with my friends.

It's awesome.

What's everyone else been up to?
EDIT: Roota - Bob Marley and I are awesome. That's why we share birthdays. And how old are you turning tomorrow?! :D Happy birthday for then!
(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 6 Feb 2009, 13:08, Reply)

But surely it's bob's birthday
today and VC is in tomorrow?
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 13:08, Reply)

VC
What date is it where you are?
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 13:10, Reply)

the 7th.
by 11 minutes :D
(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 6 Feb 2009, 13:11, Reply)

Happy Birthday VC!
I'm so very tired. I can't nap though, too many people in the room. However, if I strip naked and then sleep, I don't think they'd knacker me for sleeping...
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 13:12, Reply)

Lab
*hugs*
You have my sympathies.

Sleep in your jocks instead of the nude. Then they can't knacker you for sleeping like that.
(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 6 Feb 2009, 13:13, Reply)

Lab shall
I call you with an "emergency" you have to leave work for?
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 13:13, Reply)

I'm the 7th!
We share a birthday, hours apart. Weird...
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 13:13, Reply)

Good plan TGB
But If I leave work now, I'll only have to work longer hours next week to finish this case.

VC, jocks?!
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 13:14, Reply)

Roota
you're officially made of awesome.

Stay here as long as you like.

EDIT: Lab - errr underpants? We call them jocks here for guys.
(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 6 Feb 2009, 13:15, Reply)

Yeah but that's next
week's problem Lab. Think how good it would be to leave early now! OoooooOOOOooH so gooooOOoooooOOood
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 13:16, Reply)

VC
All aquarians are made of awesome ; )
I also contain traces of sherbet, the 80s, and whistling.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 13:18, Reply)

It would be, Badger
But I'll already be working early-late next week, and might even have to come in at the weekend. Best to get more done until 5:30.

VC, I getcha.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 13:18, Reply)

Sucks to be you Lab
I'm going at 2 today woot
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 13:20, Reply)

for those who like pizza
and have printers...i give you www.pizzaexpressoffers.co.uk

college is cancelled today so i'm off to pizza express to nom

now get down on your knees and worship me
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 13:23, Reply)

Cheers Badger
I can also bring choonz.

Vamp
Hippo Birdy to you
Hippo Birdy to you
Hippo Birdy dear Vampyrecat
Hippo Birdy to you

I'm here all week, thank you.

EDIT And Hippo Birdy to you for tomorrow Roota. But Taurians and made of AWESOME, not Aquarians.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 13:24, Reply)

Happy birthday VC
Hippo birdy two ewes
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 13:27, Reply)

Good find Becky!
*gets down on knees*
*worships*
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 13:28, Reply)

awwww
fanks guys!

/gives big hugs to everyone
(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 6 Feb 2009, 13:28, Reply)

becky
I don't know you, but you just made my general level of happiness increase.
For this, you deserve some worship.
*hails*
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 13:30, Reply)

*falls asleep at desk*
Someone wake me up in 15
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 13:42, Reply)

Hi VC, and happy birthday!!
I could do with a snooze as well...

*locks office door*
*falls asleep*
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 13:45, Reply)

Badger
TRUMPETS

Wake up and entertain me!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 13:46, Reply)

Is b3ta broken?
Being mega slow for me... anyone else?

Rest of internet is fine.
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 13:47, Reply)

Sam
I just got a server time out but it seems to be back now.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 13:52, Reply)

hmm
Seems ok now...
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 14:00, Reply)

Yeah
It went all slow for a bit, but it's getting better.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 14:07, Reply)

WD40
Think some of that might help?
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 14:08, Reply)

Chewing gum
To hold the wires together again.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 14:09, Reply)

Yeah, was shit right up.
Seems ok now.
*shrugs*

Best lunch ever:
Pick and Mix.
Walnut Whip.
Cigarettes.
Coffee.
( Cawl, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 14:10, Reply)

mmm really slow
here.

I think I'm a going to go to bed though. I'm going o need my energy for today!
(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 6 Feb 2009, 14:10, Reply)

Well,
Good night, and happy Birthday!
( Cawl, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 14:11, Reply)

VC
Night, HPBD x
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 14:12, Reply)

Nawh
thanks Kaol!

/gives Kaol a warm fuzzy hug
(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 6 Feb 2009, 14:12, Reply)

Night
And have an awesome birthday.

Kaol, that is indeed an wicked lunch.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 14:13, Reply)

Night VC
Have a good birthday tomorrow/tonight!

For lunch I had:
Cheese & pickle sandwiches
Cornish pasty
Crisps
Pork pie
2 oranges and a banana
Cigarettes
Tea

Kaol's sounds better.
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 14:16, Reply)

Friday joke time, people
I met a bloke the other night whom I hadn't seen in ages. I couldn't believe how well he looked. I went up to him and said, "Hi Bob, you're looking well."

"Oh yes, I'm feeling great", he replied. "Better than I've ever felt."

"So how's that then?" I asked. "Given up the fags?"

"No. Still on 40 a day".

"OK, well have you stopped drinking then?"

"No, I still like a few pints and a couple of nips every night".

"Well, is it a new woman in your life, or a new job? What is it?"

"No, none of those. I've given up worrying."

"So how do you manage that then", I asked, somewhat confused.

"I found a bloke on the internet who'll do it for me. All I do is pay him two grand a month, and he takes on all my worries".

"Well that sounds fine, Bob, but - and I'm not being cheeky here - but how can you afford two thousand a month?"

"Aye, well", said Bob. "That's his first worry!"
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 14:17, Reply)

K2
Good one, it gave me a little chortle.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 14:19, Reply)

@K2
*trumpets*

Wa-wah-wah-waAaaaAaaah
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 14:22, Reply)

Bert
I thought it was more a "badum-tish"
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 14:23, Reply)

I felt more of a
"tumbleweed silence"...
( Cawl, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 14:26, Reply)

and then
Lynn Perry bursts out laughing
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 14:27, Reply)

I only told it
I didn't make it up.

But it did give me a chuckle when I heard it the other night.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 14:31, Reply)

Lynn Perry?
Who?
( Cawl, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 14:33, Reply)

sorry, it's Perrie
she used to be in Coronation Street. She was old and trollopy and she ruined the tumbleweed bit on Shooting Stars by guffawing. She was dirty. She was also a guest on sex channels. Really bad. She's brown bread now, bless her.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 14:38, Reply)

Well that's all good then
That she's dead and all.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 14:44, Reply)

well...
you can't have her AND Katona on the same planet, both alive, at the same time.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 14:48, Reply)

She was a guest on sex channels?
And you know this because...?

I just thought of another item to add to my list of aims on B3ta.

6. Get on the Newsletter.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 14:48, Reply)

Erm, Bert!
I didn't even have access to sex channels in those days!
It's an infamous clip. She was meant to just be a guest on some programme, like a sex channel version of Soccer AM I think. Anyway, she grabbed a man and. Oh, I can't say any more. I'll be ill.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 14:54, Reply)

Roota
Can we not do away with Katona? It would do the world a favour, like Jade dieing.

Bert I'm surprised that you haven't been in the newsletter.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 14:54, Reply)

at my desk
hoping no one will notice what I was up to last night. no time for a shower. am closing 38 out with a bang (or two/three/who's counting)

*smiles uncontrollably*
( cackers, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 14:57, Reply)

Dok
to get in the neswletter I'd have to be both interesting and entertaining.
I regularly fail on both counts.

roota, don't lie to me, you've been ladyfwapping over Ivy Tilsley. Admit it!

cackers - what were you up to last night? Is it your Birthday? Happy Birthday random american lady who I've never met, but whose unusual comments occasionally brighten my day.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 14:57, Reply)

it was Ivy's ghost
that doesn't count.
Well, try telling that to the bird from The Entity...

EDIT Dok, god is slow but sure. Let's just hold out
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 15:02, Reply)

Oh I suppose so.
Bert sometimes you don't fail at it though.

Cackers just what were you upto last night, kurid details please!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 15:05, Reply)

sexx
and snuggling/tv with a most lovely man.
( cackers, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 15:09, Reply)

cackers
nice work!
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 15:11, Reply)

thank you!
it is the medicine
( cackers, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 15:13, Reply)

Crackers
You lucky bugger!

I've still got a week to wait for sexyfuntiems. :(
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 15:15, Reply)

Hmmm...
I just found out that all National Express services to and from Wales are cancelled today...

*frowns*

Guess there's a chance they'll be working in the morning...
( Cawl, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 15:18, Reply)

Kaol
Somehow I don't think so.

Why would you want to go to Wales for anyway?
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 15:21, Reply)

Kaol
Can't you get the train?
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 15:24, Reply)

Dok,
I've got a good reason :p

I dunno, I'll have a look at times now...
( Cawl, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 15:25, Reply)

cackers
'sex and snuggling/tv with a lovely man' He was a transvestite?

Christ, I'm fucking hilarious.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 15:27, Reply)

Kaol
Cool, so long as it's a good reason.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 15:29, Reply)

Yeah.
It is.
I wouldn't go there on a whim!
( Cawl, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 15:30, Reply)

Kaol's shagging a welsh bird
and EVERYBODY knows they're all filth.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 15:31, Reply)

they're not ALL filthy
some are just 'rum'.
Some are 'comely'.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 15:32, Reply)

Maybe Bert
But I think that he's at it a bit closer to home than Wales.

EDIT I like the cumly ones myself!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 15:32, Reply)

Absolute torrid, dirty lies
It is a statement of fact that if you come from the land of Charlotte Church and Ryan Giggs, you take it up the pooper and don't mind sucking it afterwards.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 15:33, Reply)

Er...
I said nothing of the sort! Honestly, you people!

And Dok, what's that about me "being at it a bit closer to home"?
Maybe it's best you gaz me...
( Cawl, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 15:35, Reply)

@ Bertie
he is a man.

well, we haven't played dress-up together. not yet, anyway.
( cackers, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 15:36, Reply)

Kaol
Dok's implying that you sleep with your mother.

Naughty Dok, don't be so rude about Stabby Stabberson.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 15:39, Reply)

Look, it only happened once.
It was dark.
And I was drunk.
And I had no idea that she wasn't a tranny.
( Cawl, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 15:41, Reply)

I would never imply that Bert!
I was just saying that Kaol wouldn't have to travel that far. Him being a handsome lad and all!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 15:42, Reply)

this buzzin' bee is signing off
Wonderful weekend to all. I will be all parties, concerts, friends, and birthday. Not likely to be interwebbing.

Happy w/e lads!
( cackers, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 15:45, Reply)

The weather is really bad where you're going K
They've closed both Severn Bridges due to big lumps of ice falling from the suspension cables and hitting cars! That's why National Express will be cancelled.

My dad works down there and it took him three hours to do the slightly over an hour journey to work.

Sam: bringing you breaking news from Wales
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 15:51, Reply)

Hmmm...
Trains seem to be running though.
Or have you heard different, Sam?
( Cawl, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 15:56, Reply)

Haven't heard anything on trains
But the Severn Bridges I was referring to are road only, so it'd make sense. The railway bridge runs next to one of the road bridges...

Weather's a lot better down there now apparently, just rang my old man for you! Apparently they're saying the bridges will reopen by 4.30, dunno whether National Express will start services again today though.
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 16:00, Reply)

Awh, cheers Sam!
Much appreciated!

I've spoke to the bus people, and they gave me a number to call in the morning to check.
If not, there's a conveniently-timed train I could try.
If not, I'm gonna go get drunk with a dear London friend, haha!
( Cawl, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 16:03, Reply)

Nah
They'll probably leave it till the morning.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 16:03, Reply)

Tranny
Kaol mentioned a tranny a few minutes back. That's the word my gran used to use for a transistor radio. She would be most confused by modern parlance.

And someone (may have been rachelswipe?) once said on here that their dad/grandad/whatever called motorway service stations trannies. Derived from transport cafes, I suppose. But it still makes me chuckle.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 16:05, Reply)

Right
I'm going home. Have a good weekend everybody.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 16:17, Reply)

*small screams*
I'm cooking chili tonight though woot.

This slice of randomness was brought to you by Bored TGB Ltd
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 16:31, Reply)

I'm leaving work in ten minutes :D
And I'm wearing The Hat Of Awesome today.
( Cawl, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 16:33, Reply)

The green felt one?
Tis indeed an awesome hat
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 16:38, Reply)

Yep,
That's the one!

Keeps the snow outta my eyes.

Anyway, goodbye, I'll be back on Sunday.
( Cawl, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 16:40, Reply)

Bye Kaol
Don't do anything I wouldn't do...

I'm going to make pizza tonight, with chilis on.
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 16:41, Reply)

woo
for chilli related cookery :)
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 16:50, Reply)