How about this
Post one thing that is true (and mildly interesting) about yourself. I'll get started in the replies.

(I would like to try and stop lying on the internet more)
( I have run out of coke is a little sweaty, Fri 6 Mar 2009, 15:04, 48 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

my real name
is Elliot. Not Geoff Leopard. This occasionally upsets me.

True story.
( I have run out of coke is a little sweaty, Fri 6 Mar 2009, 15:05, Reply)

I have an enormous penis
and have sex with loads of beautiful women.*



*please invert for truth
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 6 Mar 2009, 15:07, Reply)

I have run out of coke
and its unlikely that I'll be getting anymore in the near future as I'm trying to be a good boy (true, but not very interesting)
( SpikeyPickle wishes he was mabazaritchie, Fri 6 Mar 2009, 15:13, Reply)

I win
I bet myself that the very next reply would be penis size boasting/commiserating
( I have run out of coke is a little sweaty, Fri 6 Mar 2009, 15:15, Reply)

...
I know that Spike is lying? Haha.

From birth until about the age of 2, doctors didn't know how well I would develop mentally, due to me having 'an abnormally large head', which they couldn't find a reason for.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 6 Mar 2009, 15:15, Reply)

I think about sex
more than most other people I know
( Mellicious is made of candy, Fri 6 Mar 2009, 15:16, Reply)

Agnostic
does have a slightly large head but its goes well with his little pot-belly.

And I really have ran out of coke!
( SpikeyPickle wishes he was mabazaritchie, Fri 6 Mar 2009, 15:17, Reply)

I'll take a dare please.

*undoes flies*
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 6 Mar 2009, 15:18, Reply)

I don't like cheese
the product or the genre of music in all their forms. Except on pizza or in the right club.
(raymond "three griddle pans" luxury yacht lovin' the christmas action, Fri 6 Mar 2009, 15:19, Reply)

@Spike
Least I've got hair!
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 6 Mar 2009, 15:24, Reply)

I really don't enjoy drinking
and hate being drunk, but I still do it because if I don't my friends think I'm being boring.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 6 Mar 2009, 15:24, Reply)

Mell
Yeah, I don't think about the people I know much either.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 6 Mar 2009, 15:29, Reply)

I used to have hair
but Agnostic is right. I am now bit bald :0(
( SpikeyPickle wishes he was mabazaritchie, Fri 6 Mar 2009, 15:32, Reply)

True, and takes the uninteresting prize
Alan Cox, UK linux guru, was the dungeonmaster of my college D&D game.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 6 Mar 2009, 15:33, Reply)

I'm not joining in

Sounds too much like an ice-breaker at a training session.
(Che Grimsdale Best before:, Fri 6 Mar 2009, 15:33, Reply)

Not me, and it's a pea
www.b3ta.com/questions/thrownaway/post222104

But this is far and away the most interesting thing about 'me', I suspect...
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 6 Mar 2009, 15:34, Reply)

Monty
I've shed a tear for you.
( SpikeyPickle wishes he was mabazaritchie, Fri 6 Mar 2009, 15:35, Reply)

I frequently shout at the mute women on Sex Station
for not jiggling enough. It seems the prettier they are, the less they feel the need to impress. Lazy bitches.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 6 Mar 2009, 15:35, Reply)

I used to fence sabre for Great Britain

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 6 Mar 2009, 15:40, Reply)

Sabre
the dog from those Adrian Mole books?

That hardly seems fair, I mean dogs can't really hold swords, can they?
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 6 Mar 2009, 15:41, Reply)

Don't be daft Bert
I sold him illegally.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 6 Mar 2009, 15:43, Reply)

That's rubbish.
I was expecting 'It was alright, I'd gaffer tape the sword to his paw and prop him up with sticklebricks. He got pretty agressive though, and I had to stop when he punctured my trachea.'
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 6 Mar 2009, 15:45, Reply)

Don't be daft Bert
There's no way the sticklebricks would hold long enough for him to get an accurate thrust at my trachea.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 6 Mar 2009, 15:46, Reply)

The main reason I became a lesbian in my mid twenties....
Was because I have size 9 feet and I could only get doc martins to fit me.
( girlinthehole, Fri 6 Mar 2009, 15:46, Reply)

Same here BGB
Swap size 9 for 10 though.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 6 Mar 2009, 15:47, Reply)

I'll thrust my sticklebrick
at your trachea in a minute.

BGB I misread that as 'in the mid-twenties' for a second there, I had to remind myself that there was no way you could be that old. Unless ladies who eat fanny are immortal.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 6 Mar 2009, 15:49, Reply)

Don't be daft Bert
You'd have to take an almighty run-up in order to achieve the velocity required to thrust your sticklebrick at my trachea, and I really don't think you have it in you.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 6 Mar 2009, 15:51, Reply)

@Labia
You became a lesbian as well?

I think you'd make a very attractive lesbian : )
( girlinthehole, Fri 6 Mar 2009, 15:52, Reply)

BGB
that is SO true!

Lab, I can thrust like you wouldn't believe, I practice in my bedroom every night. You should be careful next time I see you.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 6 Mar 2009, 15:56, Reply)

Yes BGB
I decided to accept my inner lesbian, men can fuck right off, they're coming nowhere near my cunt!

Bertitude, I'm guessing you won't be at Lusty's leaving bash tomorrow?
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 6 Mar 2009, 16:00, Reply)

Sadly not
I've decided that I'm above you all, and therefore don't need to attend bashes anymore.

Plus I'll be busy spending quality time with the little 'un. Who only occasionally beats me at Guitar Hero.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 6 Mar 2009, 16:03, Reply)

edits
only occasionally constantly and humiliatingly
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 6 Mar 2009, 16:04, Reply)

It's not just Guitar Hero though
She's seven, but she can still kick arse on GTA: San Andreas, and hardly ever complains about all the swearing in 'Killing in the name...'
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 6 Mar 2009, 16:06, Reply)

OMG!!1
You let her play a MURDER SIMULATOR?!! She'll end up shooting up her whole school!!

*foams and froths at the mouth, while the twin vultures of Keith Vaz and Jack Thompson circle your child*
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 6 Mar 2009, 16:08, Reply)

Amazingly
the opposite is true. She's well aware that it's not real, to her it's just a game where you drive cars, ride motorbikes, fly helicopters and sometimes have to beat policemen to death.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 6 Mar 2009, 16:12, Reply)

I'm glad
I'm sick of lawyers and politicians trying to make games the scapegoat for idiots doing stupid things.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 6 Mar 2009, 16:13, Reply)

YEAH
In Barbie Horseland Adventures you sometimes ride horses into low branches and get all knocked off and hurt, but I don't see politicians complaining about children with headaches.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 6 Mar 2009, 16:17, Reply)

That sounds barbaric
Ban this sick filth!
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 6 Mar 2009, 16:19, Reply)

I
am perhaps the most feckless man around when it comes to DIY health and safety. But you all already knew that.

So how about the fact that I once chundered over the feet of Jennie Bond (the BBC royal-fawner extraordinaire)? I'm particularly proud of that one.
( rubberduck should only be used after consulting with your GP, Fri 6 Mar 2009, 16:27, Reply)

I have two, count them, two rubber bands

tru fax
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 6 Mar 2009, 16:34, Reply)

I spent much of the last fifteen years
trying to destroy myself.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 6 Mar 2009, 16:41, Reply)

Well, you didn't do a very good job of it
did you?
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 6 Mar 2009, 16:45, Reply)

^
This made me laugh.

Then I felt bad.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 6 Mar 2009, 16:51, Reply)

@Kitty
He only said what we were all thinking : )
( girlinthehole, Fri 6 Mar 2009, 16:51, Reply)

I
have sworn on national television!
(Halfy By light alone, Fri 6 Mar 2009, 17:51, Reply)

can only remember one address
for the first 8 years of my life. we moved a lot, for no reason that I can ascertain.

weird, me.
( cackers, Fri 6 Mar 2009, 21:48, Reply)

I
have a filthy sense of humour that shows at the worst times possible.
EG - yesterday was doing a prac exam in biology on surface area to volume ratios for osmosis. the title of the prac was "Is Bigger Better?" and all I could think was - 'is it just me who noticed this?'
(Poppet some assembly required., Sat 7 Mar 2009, 3:34, Reply)

@ VC/ filthy thoughts are a sign of intelligence
at least that's what I've been telling myself for years.
( cackers, Sat 7 Mar 2009, 18:07, Reply)