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(I helped save b3ta! rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Home Sweet Home Monday
Home sweet Home

Come one, come all and sup of the juices of a HSH thread.
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 6:26, 319 replies, latest was 16 years ago)
B3tamap
I must mention the B3tamap, a little project where you can stick a pin and let other b3tans know approximately where you live.

Requires a google account or the ability to gaz someone with a google account.

Put the pin on your house or by a rail station or just in your general vicinity, as your paranoia dictates. Or don't put a pin in at all and weep the bitter tears of the lonely.
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 6:31, Reply)
Hey hey!
how are you folks?

:)
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 9 Mar 2009, 6:37, Reply)
Slowly waking up
rassin' frassin' cat and her neurotic need for me to be present while she poops.
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 6:44, Reply)
well pooping is a serious business LiC
who knows what could happen to a poor cat while she poops?

Also - I like purple. and have made a half hearted attempt to take a decent photo for my profile on b3ta. It looks slightly rubbishy.
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 9 Mar 2009, 6:51, Reply)
Nice pic
Very arty (and you are the pretty)

I think a few years back when we had a working catflap she was surprised by a neighbour cat while pooping, and now doesn't feel safe. Or something.
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 6:57, Reply)
ahahah great
so you have a cat with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.

/giggles.

thanks. took a few goes to get just one that I liked. I edited them on my phone cos the light was crappy.
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 9 Mar 2009, 7:02, Reply)
Think I'm off to work now
A bit early but I'm ready so I might as well try and recoup some of the flexitime I used last week to bugger off early every night.
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 7:21, Reply)
fine - ditch me then.
leave me to wallow in loneliness.

/grins.

only kidding. Have a good trip then come waffle away here while at work!
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 9 Mar 2009, 7:24, Reply)
Now at work
Sipping my tea, going through my emails and waiting for the canteen to open.
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 8:09, Reply)
'kin hell Chains
You live *literally* around the corner from where I lived until about 6 months ago...
(I helped save b3ta! rubberduck should only be used after consulting with your GP, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 8:12, Reply)
Morning all
Haven't been here much recently. How's it going?

Interesting pics, V-cat. A bit on the arty farty side for my liking.


Nice tits though.


Oops, didn't mean to say that out loud...
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 8:25, Reply)
You're a Hall Greenie too?
Note that my pin isn't quite on my house and my next door neighbour moved out six months ago. *oooOOOooo*
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 8:26, Reply)
morning

(I helped save b3ta! fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 8:33, Reply)
Yup
Until 6 months ago I owned a house on Shirley Road, near the entrance to Brampton Avenue.

Only lived there for 4 years mind. I'm a dirty Stokie originally.
(I helped save b3ta! rubberduck should only be used after consulting with your GP, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 8:33, Reply)
aha K2
Don't worry it's just to hide the crappy lighting and the dishevelled look I've been cultivating while sick.

And I know you meant to say it out loud. Don't fret.
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 9 Mar 2009, 8:39, Reply)
Morning K2 and becky
Ducky - presumably as a dirty Stokie you drank in The Maggies rather than The Robin Hood.
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 8:39, Reply)
Chains
I didn't exactly fit in with the Maggies crowd (i.e. I wasn't a builder, a chav or a crook). I tended to frequent the Bulls Head instead. It's less stabby than the Robin Hood.

Aww crap. it's nearly 10am over here now, which means I have to start 'working' for the day and I'll have to leave you lovely b3ta people alone.
(I helped save b3ta! rubberduck should only be used after consulting with your GP, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 8:47, Reply)
*grins*
Ha ha! But of course V-cat. And because you're not of the bloke-loving persuasion, then I can say that as a compliment without it being a come-on.

I'm also more than twice your age though, so it does make me feel like a dirty old man...
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 8:49, Reply)
K2k6
She's 17 you nonce.
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 8:50, Reply)
He's more than 3 times her age?!

(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 8:52, Reply)
Ahah.
If only you knew K2.

Edit:
Ahaha guys it's okay. It's b3ta. I don't care.

And hello my lovelies (hugs everyone)
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 9 Mar 2009, 8:52, Reply)
@V/X
17 x 3 = a lot more than my age, thank you very much. If you'd said 2.35 though...

Anyway, I was just trying to justify my comment. :-)

*stops digging*
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 8:56, Reply)
Aaaarrrrggggg
I cant stick my pin in it! Help please.

PS Morning all, Nice pics Vampy.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 8:56, Reply)
The Bulls Head
Is where we usually drink. Although the Maggies is walking distance which is quite tempting of an evening.
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 8:57, Reply)
dok not trying to patronize
have you signed in? You can only do it if you sign in. or maybe get LiC to do it if you're stuck.

EDIT: thanks.
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 9 Mar 2009, 8:59, Reply)
It was just a good excuse to poke fun K2
And I find it hard to pass those up! I should probably stop b3taing and start working seeing as I'm knocking one out off at 3 today.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 8:59, Reply)
Morning you disgusting attempts at humans
Monday again :(
Getting closer to my birthday though woop woop
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 9:03, Reply)
ahah k2
you make me laugh.

So do you V.

EDIT: hii tgb! /glomps
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 9 Mar 2009, 9:04, Reply)
lemminge
You spelt tits wrong

K2, I am the resident B3ta groomer around here thanks

Vamps, nice photos, glad to have helped

everyone else can fuck off, im tired and grumpy today (only kidding loves you all)
(Halfy By light alone, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 9:04, Reply)
I'm on the map now
In more ways than one *shifty eyes*
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 9:05, Reply)
Oh look it's halfy
*points and laughs*
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 9:05, Reply)
Vampy *sigh*
Yes I have signed in, I'm not feeling stupid today
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 9:05, Reply)
I must go and work
See you all later.

Especially those of you with the nice tits.
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 9:06, Reply)
ahah Halfy
you're nearly as bad as k2!

now lets go steal a bed and have hot sweaty love without bert or al involved!
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 9 Mar 2009, 9:08, Reply)
Halfy
I wasn't going to mention the nice tits. I see you spelt tits wrong as well.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 9:08, Reply)
sorry dok.
didn't mean to offend.

Um don't remember - I got LiC to do mine for me then edited it myself.

EDIT: Guys - it's okay to say tits you know! I know I have them! Look! see!
/pushes boobs up with hands so you can't miss them.
There - see! tits!
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 9 Mar 2009, 9:09, Reply)
VC
Again? it was only a couple of hours since the last long sweaty passionate time in bed, im old and haven't got your youthful vigour and energy and flexibility!

How did you get your leg in that position anyway?
(Halfy By light alone, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 9:11, Reply)
Vampy
I'm not offended, it would take a lot more than that to offend me.

Yes they are very nice tits, some of the best I've see to be honest.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 9:14, Reply)
What's with all this
"I'm at work so won't be on b3ta" malarkey? I think it shows a poor set of priorities, frankly.
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 9:14, Reply)
haha
Work is now the only time I get to spend on b3ta :p
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 9:15, Reply)
well see
it's very easy once you know how.
come back in a few hours or when you're suitably rested and I'll show you again.

And I know you're old. I like you all the more for it. hur hur.

EDIT: wow. Thanks dok. lol!
EDIT2: I work in a restaraunt. we do not have internets. shut up. My priorities are getting over there to meet you lot.
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 9 Mar 2009, 9:15, Reply)
Stop talking about 17 year old tits.
SHE CAN'T GET SERVED IN A PUB. SHE IS TOO YOUNG.

No offence VC, this isn't anything against you. I just think certain men who are old enough to remember when Michael Jackson was black should know better.
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 9:20, Reply)
ahaha no
but I can serve drinks in a pub and be served if I'm with someone of age :D

I know all the tricks of the trade now :)
EDIT: ahaha it's cool Wanderlust (woops sorry!). I get what you're saying.
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 9 Mar 2009, 9:23, Reply)
Mornin'
I'm on the map, bitches.
EDIT: Changed my mind. I'm out.

Er... I was stuck behind a funeral procession for half of my journey to work. Fun.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 9:24, Reply)
Lusty
she is bed legal, you're just jealous of someone fresher and limberer and perter



runs like fuck!!
(Halfy By light alone, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 9:24, Reply)
Pervy old men are out in force today
VC here legally you are not allowed to serve drinks or be served and they would ID you and chuck you out.

I'd rather have Lusty any day, no offence VC but I am deeply in love with her and may actually have to move to Canada :p
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 9:27, Reply)
Hi Lusty
Sorry I missed the bash on Saturday. :(

Hi Kaol.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 9:28, Reply)
Kaol
that was a very quick turn around
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 9:28, Reply)
TGB its his
paranoia, and the knowledge that i'll be pissing through his letterbox every morning again that did it.

Vamps, put me down for 8.30pm tonight please, might have recovered by then
(Halfy By light alone, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 9:30, Reply)
*shrugs*
It's a gentleman's prerogative to change his mind.
Or some shit like that.

People can just know that I live in Essex.
Apart from Clendrix. She's been to my house, and I didn't memory-wipe her.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 9:30, Reply)
Not you VC
With the work thing, I'm talking about these office fuckers who think keeping their job is more important than chatting on the internet.
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 9:30, Reply)
I have said
All I'm going to say on the subject of Vampy's tits now.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 9:31, Reply)
Memory wiping?
I think I might "forget" to give you a lift at the weekend...
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 9:31, Reply)
Aha TGB
like I said - it's all cool. I don't generally drink anyways unless I'm celebrating something. And even then it's not much.

And the old perviness makes me laugh generally. It's all in jest. (except for halfy but that's cos he's a hornbag!)

See? all in jest. :)
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 9 Mar 2009, 9:32, Reply)
Er...
That's not this weekend is it?
/diary panic.

It's the one after, right?
:\
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 9:33, Reply)
Kaol
are you forgetting when my birthday is? You fucker.
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 9:34, Reply)
No!
V confused me.
And I'm too lazy to look in the calender.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 9:35, Reply)
You're right kaol
I was having a stupid moment.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 9:36, Reply)
You dirty retard.
You disgust me.
Fuck off and think about what you've done.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 9:36, Reply)
Are
you all going to turn up on different days? What time do you reckon you will be arriving V? I should probably start planning stuff *lazies*
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 9:37, Reply)
Dammit
I've just noticed I have a typo in my sig =[

I'm planning to get to Kaol's at 14:00 so we should be at yours between 16:00 and 17:00 depending on traffic.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 9:41, Reply)
Kaol
So stick a pin in Essex then. A number of people have expressed reservations about "making their address public".
NOBODY IS FORCING YOU TO PUT THE PIN ON YOUR HOUSE. It turns out it's possible to lie on the internet - a shocking discovery that the media will hopefully make at some point.
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 9:41, Reply)
14:00?
*laughs*

I'll have to meet you somewhere like Bishop's Stortford Tescos.
You'll not have a cat's chance in Hell of finding my house.

EDIT: LiC, it wasn't that, actually! When I put the pin it, it had a tag with my email address. Which is my name :p
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 9:42, Reply)
Kool
heheh this made me laugh
www.craigslist.org/about/best/lvg/944824067.html
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 9:43, Reply)
Morning Everyone
After quite a booze filled weekend I'm sitting watching the ducks in Docklands sipping a quadruple espresso and slowly recovering before my meeting at 10. How are you all this fine and sunny Monday?
(bill, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 9:46, Reply)
Hi Bill!
Where in Docklands are you this morning?
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 9:47, Reply)
Halfy.
So you're saying I'm old, saggy and worn out?

Thanks.
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 9:47, Reply)
Alright
Which of you filthy pervs drew a giant cock on Siberia?
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 9:48, Reply)
awww Lusty
have a hug *hugs*

I'm sure that's not what he meant.
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 9 Mar 2009, 9:49, Reply)
What's funny about
14:00

Tesco would be fine, I think I can vaguely remember where that is.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 9:50, Reply)
Hi Kaol
I'm in East India about to go and visit Telehouse for a router upgrade.
(bill, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 9:50, Reply)
Chains
It wssn't me, I can't even manage to put a pin in the map!

It is splendid though.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 9:51, Reply)
Ah, East India!
The Museum in the Docklands is there, isn't it?
I went to the Jack The Ripper exhibition there. T'was awesome :D
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 9:51, Reply)
is it?
I'll take your word for it, I've only been here to come to Telehouse before.

Edit: Hangover spelling
(bill, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 9:53, Reply)
I have my suspicions about the cock culprit
*eyes Kaol suspiciously*
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 9:54, Reply)
That'd be me LiC
But I deleted it because I realised all the notes had my real name in them and I'm not too sure how comfortable I am with that.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 9:55, Reply)
*nods*
Think so, anyhow bill.

V, I was laughing because my house is impossible to find.
It doesn't exist on sat-nav, and there's no mobile phone signal for about a mile around it.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 9:56, Reply)
V everyone knows
your real name is Eggbert McFluffelspunk
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 9:57, Reply)
What's sat nav?
If it's on a map it can be found!
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 9:58, Reply)
It's not a challenge, V!
It's more of "me trying to make life easier for you" :p
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 9:59, Reply)
Eggbert McFluffelspunk
What a fantastic name you have there.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 9:59, Reply)
That's boring!
But probably quite sensible.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 10:00, Reply)
I feel I have to
do a Kaol and be all ha I named V/Eggbert in your face everyone else I am so awesome I name people. Ha. Yeah. Face.
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 10:01, Reply)
My boss
Who repeatedly said to me on Friday "Don't be late on Monday" is now officially late! The irony is killing me.
(bill, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 10:03, Reply)
I can't even work out how to put a pin in that
sodding map.

Morning everyone. I yam tired.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 10:03, Reply)
Meh
On the subject of things that came up on Saturday I'm yet to convince the member of my relationship with more pleasing genitals than my own that she should lend me her tartan miniskirt for Edinbash. Her argument was that it wouldn't fit and, unusually when it comes to me fitting into lady clothes, she's probably right.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 10:04, Reply)
V
I need your clothes, your boots and your motorcycle.

Morning everyone
(mr bollox I love Mr. K best of all the kaoltards, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 10:06, Reply)
May I suggest
Anyone whose google account reveals details they don't want associated with their b3ta account, gaz me - or anyone who has added themselves - with a rough location and I - or they - can add you.
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 10:08, Reply)
V
They're not that expensive, get your own one.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 10:09, Reply)
They're more expensive than I can afford at the moment Dok
At least based on the two or three websites I've looked at.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 10:18, Reply)
V
I was thinking about a tartan miniskirt, not a kilt, gods I'm not in a position to get myself one of those at the moment.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 10:23, Reply)
Captain VWXYZ
I got both my kilts off eBay ages ago, quite cheap I seem to remember, but decent quality.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 10:29, Reply)
I wish the aussie blokes
would be manly enough to wear kilts or skirts.

there aren't many of them who are brave enough to.
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 9 Mar 2009, 10:29, Reply)
V just steal one
of Lab's million kilts. Problem solved!
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 10:31, Reply)
TGB, both =/= millions
You're hyperbole does not impress me :p

VXYZ, I'll check my kilts, but you're welcome to borrow one if I reckon they'll fit your waif-like frame.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 10:33, Reply)
Waif-like?! Pah!
I may have to take you up on that offer if the one you least want to wear is unlikely to fall down!

*dreams about getting his own*
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 10:35, Reply)
Well Lab
you're [sic] use of shocking grammar does not impress me
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 10:37, Reply)
I'd look like an
Angry Tranny in a kilt.
Plus I'm not Scottish in any way, shape or form.

Was talking to my gran last night, turns out that side of my family were cockneys. All the way back. *frowns*
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 10:37, Reply)
Never Worn one
Although I really should being a Scot and all.

It's just when I have the cash I never remember to buy mine.

Vampy, Blokes can look either terrible or great in a kilt, and I'm sure there must be Aussies who wear them.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 10:38, Reply)
Hahahahaha
Kaol is a cockney Essex boi.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 10:39, Reply)
TGB
Pisswitch, I did the classic 'start typing something, elect to change it halfway, then fail to delete everything'. I also never ever proofread anything i post here.

Kaol, I'll look like a pale-skinned wanker in a kilt, so not to worry. I would like one of the Scottish traditional knives though, but will likely have to settle for just the sporran.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 10:40, Reply)
blah blah blah
whatever Lab
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 10:41, Reply)
O HAI WANDERLUST
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!


KTHANX4REMEMBERERERINGGUYZ :D

XXXXXXXXXXX
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 10:42, Reply)
Badger
For some reason I remembered that we're celebrating your birthday soon. Any idea where we're going to drink?

Also I've just realised that people have altered plans for me for next weekend because I said I wouldn't be around on Saturday...
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 10:44, Reply)
Lusty is it your birthday?
:p

Well happy fucking birthday! If you were here I'd lick you all over
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 10:45, Reply)
Happy birthday Lustylovely
I would've remembered only my brain isn't working today. Too tired for work stuff today.
(I helped save b3ta! fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 10:46, Reply)
Hurrah for birthday licks.
Thank you TGB.

And thank you miss beckyletters. I'll let you off for being tired as you're sexy.
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 10:47, Reply)
Happy Bday Lusty
Have a good one.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 10:48, Reply)
I'm not going to lie
I had no idea it was your birthday anytime around now. If you like you can pretend that your beard and t-shirt are birthday presents.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 10:48, Reply)
I knew it was
sometime in March because all the best people are born in March
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 10:50, Reply)
aww Lusty
you're cute.

/hugs.
happee birfday.
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 9 Mar 2009, 10:50, Reply)
Morning all
And Happy Birthday Lusty! Hope you're having a great one! How is everyone?
(Fredz A graveyard of hopes, a dump of ambition, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 10:50, Reply)
You are lying V
You gazzed me a while ago and refered to my bash as my birthday bash. But again, you're sexy so I'll get let you off.
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 10:50, Reply)
I did?
I'm more absent minded than I thought! Yesterday I even managed to forget that my girlfriend used to be engaged!
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 10:53, Reply)
al edits
engaged a man.

It's like he's in the room with us... but we have to remember, he's gone. He's gone.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 10:57, Reply)
Look everyone!
V's got a giiiiirlfriend!
Oooooooh!
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 11:01, Reply)
Used to be?
She still is. Why else do you think I'm dating her?

Kaol this isn't news to you. Quit acting like it is!
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 11:01, Reply)
Oh look Kaol
has caught up with current events!

I still have my suspicions that V used to be a woman so that could work out pretty well
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 11:02, Reply)
Morning all
Happy birthday Lusty!!!

I hear it was a proper lick-tastic bash on Saturday :D

That was kinda my fault - sorry
(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 9 Mar 2009, 11:03, Reply)
nawww
come on guys that's a little harsh.

be nice to v or I'll drink red bull and go all hyper scratchy vampyrecatlike on you guys.
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 9 Mar 2009, 11:05, Reply)
VC
I'd be more offended if they weren't making these comments as it'd indicate that they no longer considered me a creepy internet person friend!
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 11:06, Reply)
Yeah whatever TGB.
*shakes fist*

Whatever...
I knew first *frowns*
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 11:07, Reply)
Happy birthday Lusty
I knew it was sometime around this weekend but not which day. I figured I'd wait for you to burst into tears and call me names; that's how I find out about my other lady friends' birthdays.
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 11:07, Reply)
whatever Kaol
go cry in the toilet because no one here cares
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 11:08, Reply)
Fine.
I'm going.
Why'd you always have to be such a bitch to me? Fuck this place.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 11:10, Reply)
DG
You missed out on a treat. It was like youporn come to life, but with hot lesbians only, more cider and bigger breasts.
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 11:11, Reply)
because
if I wasn't a bitch you'd think you could get away with all your crap. Well I'm not going to put up with it anymore.
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 11:12, Reply)
If you don't like it, fuck off.
This place is nothing without me.
It was fine before you signed up, and it'll be fine after you've gone.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 11:13, Reply)
Lusty
So I hear!

Damn, I so wanted to be there :/
(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 9 Mar 2009, 11:17, Reply)
Oh you'd cry if I went
just like you cry when you come
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 11:18, Reply)
/hates fighting
I think I'm going to go hide away until you guys stop being mean. I don't like it when people are fighting.
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 9 Mar 2009, 11:19, Reply)
I detect
some playful playground bantering...

You crazy kids!
(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 9 Mar 2009, 11:20, Reply)
Cry?
At least I feel something.
It'd be awful to be as dead inside as you are.

You know how it's gonna end. Cold and withered in a caravan full of your hideous half-human, half-cat offspring.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 11:22, Reply)
Yeah DG
The kids are at it again.

:)

Don't go Vampy, bring your lovely breast back.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 11:22, Reply)
So..... Um...
Tea? Tea is good huh?
(Fredz A graveyard of hopes, a dump of ambition, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 11:25, Reply)
Well I will sell
my catumans and with the money I make I'll buy you a life Kaol.
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 11:25, Reply)
Anti-Perv Police edit
Don't go Vampy, bring your lovely BREADCRUMB-COATED CHICKEN breast back.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 11:26, Reply)
aha
okay.

hands crumbed chicken breast fillet to Lab.

cook that up would you?
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 9 Mar 2009, 11:28, Reply)
Fucking hell dok.
*does Kaolesk head shaking*
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 11:28, Reply)
You'd sell your own children
For me?
I'm actually kind touched.
Although I guess you're still mercenary as Hell, what with the remake of Total Recall coming up.
A six-titted catuman would be worth thousands of pennies.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 11:28, Reply)
Oh Lab
I'd do the same if you were running away, but I wouldn't stroke the mo!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 11:29, Reply)
Must.... do.... some.... work....
I'm outta here!


For a bit.
(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 9 Mar 2009, 11:31, Reply)
TGB's half-human half-cat offspring
Would.
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 11:31, Reply)
I don't mind b3tans stroking the mo
So long as it's stroking, not yanking.

Bye DG!
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 11:32, Reply)
Oh you
would to anything though Chains :p
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 11:32, Reply)
I know Lusty
I'm a very, very bad man.

I can't help it, you lot have corrupted me!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 11:33, Reply)
aha okay
who's up for punishing dok? I have whips and handcuffs here for those who would like some.

:D
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 9 Mar 2009, 11:34, Reply)
I think we should punish Dok
by locking him in a room full of people his own age
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 11:35, Reply)
aha thats actually
a pretty good idea.

I bet he'd crack within an hour.
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 9 Mar 2009, 11:37, Reply)
That rules me out then
Just...
(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 9 Mar 2009, 11:37, Reply)
Working hard then DG :p
I remember getting very excited when you phoned ancrenne on Saturday. I was very very very drunk though. I probably made some hiya noise in the background
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 11:38, Reply)
Hahaha!
A room of people talking about mortgages and eco-babble.

Nasty.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 11:39, Reply)
Please
Anything but the old folks room.

*pleads*

*puppy eyes*

I'll be a good little B3tan, I promise!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 11:39, Reply)
People his own age
Who act their age.
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 11:40, Reply)
Potentially NSFW
www.myspaceantics.com/images/funny/humpday-old-people.jpg

I don't think Dok will find lack of sexytime an issue.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 11:40, Reply)
Oh yes Badger
I'm multitasking!
(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 9 Mar 2009, 11:41, Reply)
I think you'd prefer that punishment to the alternative
I can't be bothered to go googling, just assume i've included a link to Sentencing Guidelines here ;)
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 11:41, Reply)
Yes chains that's an important fact
SO be good Dok or it's The Room for you.
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 11:42, Reply)
V
Why would that be?

Chain, growing old disgracefully is the only way to grow old.

I'll be good. Only when you're looking though.

God that would be my Room101.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 11:42, Reply)
Well the people in the link
That are around your age seem to be enjoying some sexytime.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 11:44, Reply)
V
I think you'll find that they are a bit older than I am! I'm not that old you know, I don't draw my pension, yet!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 11:46, Reply)
dok
why with the nineteen eighty four references?!

my room 101 is filled with spiders.
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 9 Mar 2009, 11:47, Reply)
Room 101
Being stuck in a room filed with people my own age who act old. It would do my head right in.

That's why most of my friends are younger than I am.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 11:49, Reply)
I wouldn't shag a squid
Or indeed most invertebrates. I can recommend a handjob from a specially trained octopus though.
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 11:49, Reply)
Wooo!
Spiders are awesome!
So are crabs.
Thus, this is a creature of pure awesomeness:
farm1.static.flickr.com/49/152097082_a0788d18af.jpg

EDIT: LiC... Octopus have barbed edges to their suction cups... You have been warned!
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 11:50, Reply)
Vampy
Spiders are all of the awesome, I keep some.

Would like some of the Aussie ones though.

Kaol Spider crads are frickin' great.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 11:55, Reply)
gargh you fucking freaks! Spiders are horribles!!!!!!!!
I nearly crashed the car yesterday cos a hunstman crawled out of the air con vent and across the windscreen.
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 9 Mar 2009, 11:57, Reply)
Super-Crabs!
When I went to an open day at the Aberdeen University Zoology Department, they had a Spider Crab mounted on the wall.
Was bigger than a horse.
I'd like to have a chariot pulled by them.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 11:58, Reply)
Spidercrabs are cool
it's like an STD for the horrible arachnids.


And I like Crustaceans.
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 9 Mar 2009, 12:03, Reply)
Vampy
Huntsman spiders are harmless, now some of the other spiders in your country on the other hand are not.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 12:03, Reply)
Kaol the barbed suction cups
Just add to the experience. I like it a bit rough.
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 12:04, Reply)
Huntsmans are not fucking harmless
when they drop from the ceiling onto your fucking head and then crawl down your fucking face.

Or when they hide in boxes and then run up your fucking arms with those horrible legs of theirs.

or when they are the size of your HAND (note :- not palm - *hand!*) and they are crawling out across the windscreen of the car! Nor when you find mummy and baby sac full of them the next day in the car door!

Huntsmans hate me. :(
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 9 Mar 2009, 12:07, Reply)
Chains
Trust me, it would feel all of the wrong.

Unless you've been out with the wrong kind of women!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 12:07, Reply)
good morning, perverts!
Hello to all, and happy Bday Lusty.

I am not hungover, it is finally not freezing, and the express bus is making good time. @ bill: I am also not permitted to be late. Has your team leader arrived yet? Be sure not to do any work until this occurs My own boss rarely shwos before half-nine, an entire hour after I'm meant to. Oh the injustice.

What's going on with all this morality this morning? Don't let me down!

Did I mention that I don't even have a seat mate today? Maybe it's the Stereolab screaming out of my earphones. Maybe it's my RickRoll shirt. Or maybe they're just frightened by my tits!

Happy day to all from some people's favorite Internet weirdo.
(I helped save b3ta! cackers, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 12:07, Reply)
I'm at home waiting for the estate agents
for the house inspection. They are now 12 minutes late. I am not happy.

rant rant rant
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 12:10, Reply)
Hi Cackers
Why would anybody be frightened by your tits, they look lovely, well they did in your top at the bash.

Vampy, it can't bite you and kill you, they are just big. Just remember that they are all just cute and fluffy!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 12:11, Reply)
Dok you really are a tits man aren't you?
and Cackers! /huggles
good to see you and hear that you're having a good day :)

Dok - if you're allergic - they can cause nasty nasty bites.
And they are not fluffeh. kittens are fluffeh. Spiders are hideous.
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 9 Mar 2009, 12:14, Reply)
Vampy
Whatever gave you that impression?

Yes I do notice them, but they are not the first thing I observe.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 12:20, Reply)
Ok over 20 mins late
I am seriously pissed off now. Fucking weasel raping cunts all of them
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 12:21, Reply)
hmm I don't know
just get this vibe from you that I like tits. Hell, I like tits too.

But I notice eyes before anything else.
EDIT: TGB - call them up and ask them if they're coming or not?
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 9 Mar 2009, 12:22, Reply)
Now then
call me Mr perceptive if you like, but I get just the teensiest feeling that our favourite Badger is a wee tad annoyed at something.

Do I win £5?
(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 9 Mar 2009, 12:23, Reply)
Vampy
For me it's eyes, nose, and mouth first.

Badger it's not at all like you to get all ranty over something that's not grammar, let us cheer you up.

*hands out tea biscuits and cakes to everybody*
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 12:24, Reply)
Oh I called them
and because they are stupid clueless fucktards they had no fucking idea. "Oh I think Colleen is dealing with it but she's not here"

Is she on her way to my house?

"oh erm I don't know"

arghhgghhghghgghgh
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 12:26, Reply)
Badger love
Have some chocolate. Write an abusive letter (don't send it) telling them exactly how you feel and what you think of them.
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 9 Mar 2009, 12:28, Reply)
Oh Badger
Sit down, relax and have a cup of tea. Al this stress isn't doing you any good.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 12:29, Reply)
I'm writing a fucking letter
and I am fucking sending it. They have been pissing me about for the last 18 months. I don't even need to be abusive in it the sheer quantity of fuck ups and general stupidity should cover it.

Also as they charge me for missing appointments I am fucking charging them for missing this one.
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 12:29, Reply)
I can tolerate spiders unless they're on me
At which point I spaz out.
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 12:30, Reply)
Do it Badger
Charge them a days wages, since you've had to take it off work.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 12:31, Reply)
fair enough
power to you. want some help with stabbyness?
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 9 Mar 2009, 12:31, Reply)
Oh colleen
had it in her diary for tomorrow. Well I said today motherfucker.

I am so incredibly annoyed I think I may actually have taken a few years off my life
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 12:33, Reply)
Ah, good old incompetence
Nowt like it is there?
(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 9 Mar 2009, 12:34, Reply)
I'm always amazed
by peoples inability to hear and understand things, twats!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 12:37, Reply)
Supernatural levels of incompetence
We must decapitate Colleen, burn the body and then salt the ashes.
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 12:39, Reply)
You know what it is Dok
Each and every time I go to Asda and ask for 20 Marlboro reds for the sweary one, they always give me the lights. Always.

And if I ask for a pack of my usuals as well, the counter staff immediatly turns around after I've asked for the Marlboros, so they don't hear the second request properly so i have to repeat myself.

And even then 50% of the time they still get it fucking wrong.
(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 9 Mar 2009, 12:40, Reply)
you guys are making me feel bad
on a busy night sometimes I forget to give people an extra fork for their dinners.

:(
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 9 Mar 2009, 12:42, Reply)
Vampers
forgetting to do something occasionally is OK by me.

Actually not listening to an order properly and so fucking it up every time is not.

*Edit* that sounds incredibly grumpy doesn't it? And I'm not even in a grumpy mood today.
(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 9 Mar 2009, 12:46, Reply)
Yeah DG
That happens to me a lot as well, I wish people would listen and not just hear what people tell them.

Yeah Vampy, forgetting one in a while is fine, everybody does that.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 12:51, Reply)
Hm.
Next time I go in I might just ask them to surprise me!

Right lunchtime over and meetings all afternoon. I'm gone, man. Solid gone.
(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 9 Mar 2009, 12:53, Reply)
Later DG
Have a good afternoon.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 12:56, Reply)
hhmmm
so who else is left?
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 9 Mar 2009, 12:57, Reply)
Woo Hoo 200 on my last post
Me I'm still here.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 12:59, Reply)
I'm in a fucking grumpy mood
VC if you still hadn't given them the fork after 18 months then I'd be pissed off at you.
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 12:59, Reply)
Oh Badgerkins
Don't be pissed off, we're still your friends.

*hugs*
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 13:01, Reply)
*hugs Badger*
Kaol needs a slap - he'll get one later.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 13:02, Reply)
What?
I don't need a slap!
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 13:03, Reply)
Woo a clendrix hug
I feel a lot better!
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 13:04, Reply)
Oh Kaol, I thought you'd have gone for lunch.
*slaps*
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 13:04, Reply)
I've not done anything wrong :\
I'm going for lunch NOW.
Curse you!
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 13:06, Reply)
Hi Drixy
Why does Kaol need a slap, he's been good!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 13:07, Reply)
I saw him being rude to Badger earlier.

(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 13:08, Reply)
I was about to say!
I thought he'd been very well behaved tonight apart from that spat over a birthday party.

EDIT: In all fairness badger wasn't very nice to him either.
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 9 Mar 2009, 13:08, Reply)
my tits are looking lovely today, thank you!
the boss was only 15 mins. guess I'll get to work 'soon.'

did I mention I took a sickie on Friday?

not letting these bastards get me down anymore!
(I helped save b3ta! cackers, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 13:08, Reply)
haha!
Kaol got a slap!!
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 13:09, Reply)
The stupid it burns
I just watched canteen lady wheel an empty trolley over to the one where we put our dirty plates when we've finished. She then transferred everything over to the empty trolley and wheeled it back to the kitchen. The trolleys are identical. Gaah!
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 13:12, Reply)
The thing is
that Badger can do whatever she wants.

And Kaol likes a slap from me. So it's all good.

New Bash on the calendar, bitches.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 13:16, Reply)
Cackers
Since I can't see them I'll have to take your work for it.

OK Drixy that's fair. No need to laugh Badger!

EDIT Drixy I don't know if I can make that one, I think I'm booked for winning another couple of bottle of wine that night.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 13:16, Reply)
haha!
In your face VC I can do whatever I want!

I mainly just want to hug Clendrix though. My estate agents are being mean :( *hugs*

edit: *points and laughs at Dok as well*
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 13:18, Reply)
*crys*
What have I done to deserve being laughed at? :(
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 13:20, Reply)
Haha
comics.com/f_minus/2009-03-08/
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 13:22, Reply)
Dok
Written 'crys' for one thing! Terrible.

But you're still lovely :)
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 13:24, Reply)
hehe
I want some false apology cards!
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 13:26, Reply)
aww poor dok
have a jiggle if it makes you feel better.
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 9 Mar 2009, 13:27, Reply)
Woo Hoo
Being told I'm lovely and getting a jiggle.

My, with those you are spoiling me.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 13:29, Reply)
*awaits sounds of anti-perv police*

(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 13:34, Reply)
Woo! Lunchtime!
I'm not hungry though - managed to put my stomach in knots through too much fast car-ness.

Chains - I'd have used up that entire rack of false apology cards with my ex. High maintenance doesn't even begin to describe her...
(I helped save b3ta! rubberduck should only be used after consulting with your GP, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 13:35, Reply)
duckie
Hello! I've decided I'm not going to gouge out your eyes with spoons as you had a valid reason for not coming to Lusty's bash.

I do demand some oranges though.
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 13:37, Reply)
*starts up anti-perv police sirens*
Oi Lab! We've got a fresh one here.
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 13:38, Reply)
Hi Ducky
Good day I take it then?
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 13:38, Reply)
*drives slowly by VC and Dok in the anti-perv police car*
*pips the siren to let them know they're being watched*
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 13:39, Reply)
I'm
driving back in one of the Range Rover support cars. I feel a challenge coming on as to how many oranges I can fit in the back...

I'm relieved about the spoons though. It brings a whole new meaning to the term 'spooning'

Dok: yep - very good day. I'm helping out with the press launch of a fast car at the Monteblanco race track near Seville.
(I helped save b3ta! rubberduck should only be used after consulting with your GP, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 13:40, Reply)
Hang on a minute
I'm not perving! What kind of a man do you think I am?
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 13:41, Reply)
ace
the evil one will be on holiday all next week.

and no, I'm not referring to myself, but rather to my boss.

*does happy dance*
(I helped save b3ta! cackers, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 13:42, Reply)
Ooh
I reckon you could get loads of oranges in the back!

Like... 8743
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 13:42, Reply)
My Cackers
That's one happy dance you've got there.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 13:43, Reply)
*stares at car with some idiot pipping a makeshift police siren*
hmmm.

I need to go to sleep.
I have school tomorrow. :(

*trudges off to bedroom* night folks!
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 9 Mar 2009, 13:43, Reply)
Dok
If I'm not mistaken, I detected some grooming further up the thread.

*hears distant sirens of anti-perv police*
(I helped save b3ta! rubberduck should only be used after consulting with your GP, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 13:44, Reply)
Chains
You've disappeared from your own map...
(I helped save b3ta! rubberduck should only be used after consulting with your GP, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 13:45, Reply)
Not I Ducky
That would have been K2K6, he started it!

Night Vampy.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 13:45, Reply)
OMG
Did you just call Lab an idiot? That's so totally uncalled for!
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 13:46, Reply)
hmmm maybe it was a bit harsh.
sorry I'm tired - I missed a few comments.

sorry lab.
/huggles.
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 9 Mar 2009, 13:47, Reply)
Very uncalled for
But we get called all kinds of names during our service. I'm jus' doing my duty, no need to be hatin'.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 13:47, Reply)
Badger
I wasn't there, I didn't do it!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 13:49, Reply)
*ears burn*
What's that? Grooming? Me?

No, I was just complimenting a teenage lesbian on her nice tits. How could that possibly be construed as grooming?
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 13:49, Reply)
K2
That was my argument, they don't believe me either.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 13:51, Reply)
I'll send you
both to The Room. There are a lot of men wearing cardigans in there
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 13:52, Reply)
K2
No, I was just complimenting a teenage lesbian on her nice tits. How could that possibly be construed as grooming?
just complimenting a teenage lesbian on her nice tits
teenage
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 13:52, Reply)
tgb
I'd sooner snog you then Dok or k2 (sorry folks!)
simply because I like your boobies and they have penises.

EDIT: guys come on - I'm over 16. I'm fairly sure I can tell them to fuck off for myself if I'm not comfortable with a joke.
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 9 Mar 2009, 13:53, Reply)
^ See?
V-cat knew where I was coming from.

*sniggers at potential innuendo*
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 13:55, Reply)
Age of consent is 16, yes
Possession of indecent images of subjects under 18 is illegal. Soliciting for the creation of said images is considered grooming.

It's an awkward, debatable area, the whole 16/18 thing, but that's the law.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 13:59, Reply)
blargh
too far - that was bertesque.

I'm off to bed for real now folks. I meant to go 20 minutes ago but here I yam still!

love you all! /huggles everyone before going back up the hall to bed.
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 9 Mar 2009, 13:59, Reply)
Yeah K2
You tell 'em!

No Badger not The Room, it give me Teh Fear!

Cardigans *shivers*

EDIT Lab, who said anything about pictures? :)
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 13:59, Reply)
Sorry VC
After snogging Lusty no other woman* is ever going to come close to making me feel that hot again, so I am back on the men.

* hmm maybe Clendrix
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 14:00, Reply)
TGB
its not about making you feel hot - I'm just saying - given a choice between you and dok I'd pick you. :)

Sorry dok.
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 9 Mar 2009, 14:02, Reply)
shhhhh
I'm thinking about the lusty/clendrix sandwich on Saturday.

*drifts off*
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 14:03, Reply)
Vampy
It's not a problem, I understand.

*sads*

;)
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 14:03, Reply)
I don't care if it makes VC comfortbale or not.
But the thought of Dok's sweaty palms and gurning, reddened face as he knocks one out, splattering his keyboard with sticky scottish jizz isn't something I really want to think about.

No offence dok, I'm sure your real cum face is quite charming. But the one in my head isn't.

In conclusion I would rather not talk about 17 year old tits any more as I think it is creepy.
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 14:04, Reply)
Dok
No one did, which is why the thread is still alive. Conversations recently have been heading towards creepiness, which I for one am not comfortable with, hence my gentle warnings which, whilst intended with humour, should be seen for what they are, warnings.

Now, I appreciate I may be overreacting here, so if I'm the only one unnerved then I apologise.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 14:06, Reply)
I seem
to have inadvertently opened a can of worms here!

Let's get this clear - I'm not asking V-cat for pictures of her tits. I'm not grooming her and pretending I'm an 18 year old girl who's hot for her and wanting to meet her.

I'm just having a bit of a laugh. This is b3ta, not the Daily Mail. And I always appreciate a nice pair of tits, regardless of whose they are!

Sorry, I didn't intend to rant. I'm just saying that you're all getting a bit het up unnecessarily.
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 14:09, Reply)
*Points to doll*
That's where he touched me!
(bill, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 14:11, Reply)
OMG!
Peeeedo!
Er... Yeah, I'm done with that.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 14:13, Reply)
It's not just you K2
If I'm creeping folks out then sorry.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 14:13, Reply)
can I just say
that I have a very bad/grainy pic of TGB and Lusty snogging each others faces off.

¬_¬

I'm not a perv or anything, I just happened to have my phone in my hand at the time.
(I helped save b3ta! djtrialprice, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 14:14, Reply)
and as althegeordie isn't around
phone wang
(I helped save b3ta! djtrialprice, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 14:18, Reply)
I think he would have said
Throbbing hard cock
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 14:20, Reply)
yeah but I prefer
wang.

The word wang that is.
(I helped save b3ta! djtrialprice, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 14:24, Reply)
I remember you showing me that
It was an aweful picture you can't make anything out.

FAIL
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 14:17, Reply)
epic fail
I should have just stuck my face in the middle instead.
(I helped save b3ta! djtrialprice, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 14:19, Reply)
Doesn't want to think about any of your tits
specially not Doks.

Now play nice kids or I'll come down and fuck you all up north London stylee
(I helped save b3ta! fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 14:19, Reply)
I'd like to see you try, Becky
Srsly, I would. Just not on me.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 14:21, Reply)
kumbaya
please everyone settle down, or I will tell you more boring stories from my workplace.

*strums ukelele*
(I helped save b3ta! cackers, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 14:23, Reply)
ORLY Lab
Did you not yet read the story of broken legs man?

Imagine what I could do to your mo ,)
(I helped save b3ta! fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 14:24, Reply)
Hi Becky
I don't have tits, I have moobs.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 14:25, Reply)
*sits quietly*
Oh my god one of my bosses as just had his contract terminated. Totally out of the blue!
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 14:25, Reply)
YA RLY Becky
I did read the story. I don't for one minute think I could take you in sparring, but it'd be interesting anyway.

Hmm, I need more time so I can take up a martial art again.

Edit: Now I think about it, I reckon I'd stand a better chance than I give you credit for...
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 14:26, Reply)
Shit, that's not good GB
Lab you flange festering cock rot, man the fuck up already
(I helped save b3ta! fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 14:27, Reply)
Fuck being courteous then!
Sometimes being a gentleman can fuck me off, especially as it then seems like I'm pandering to jumped-up drama queens!
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 14:29, Reply)
Bloody hell Badger
That's a bad thing to happen.

I wonder what he's done to deserve that?
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 14:30, Reply)
Maybe
he was talking to 17 year olds about their boobies?

*runs*
(I helped save b3ta! rubberduck should only be used after consulting with your GP, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 14:32, Reply)
I heard he was grooming.
On the internet.

*grabs coat*

EDIT:Argh!
Fuckin' dammit!
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 14:32, Reply)
Ha bloody Ha
You two!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 14:36, Reply)
There's a lot of hostility here today
Did everyone give up smoking or something?
(Fredz A graveyard of hopes, a dump of ambition, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 14:37, Reply)
He is the marketing manager
who was on a rolling contract and they kept pushing back his review period and it was his 9 month review today and they said that was it and terminated his contract
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 14:38, Reply)
Fredz
I think everyone's got sand on their tampons.
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 14:38, Reply)
Ouch....
Sounds painfull! Is there no topic that no-one can argue about? EDIT - Ive got a picture of a sleeping cat if it'll cheer everyone up
(Fredz A graveyard of hopes, a dump of ambition, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 14:40, Reply)
OOOOOOoooh
like I'm really scared Lab. *Throws water on mo and giggles as it sags*
(I helped save b3ta! fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 14:40, Reply)
Hahahahaha
You lot all hate each other.
This is great.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 14:40, Reply)
Festering cockmunch

(I helped save b3ta! fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 14:41, Reply)
Oh well Badger
That means that there is a job opening for a new one.

*ponders*

I used to do that job for a mail order computer company!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 14:41, Reply)
Well,
I'm enjoying this all.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 14:42, Reply)
Drixy
I don't hate anybody, nope nobody at all.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 14:43, Reply)
Fucking out of order
Well done, you've recreated the effect your face has on my cock, now why don't you take that traffic cone out your cunt and treat us all to the delicate sounds of the wind howling through your cavernous fuckhole?
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 14:45, Reply)
Why bother
when you'll steal the traffic cone to stick through your ear? *strokes cone*

Tramp felching arse raping mucous stain
(I helped save b3ta! fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 14:46, Reply)
Does anyone else think
that this is the internet version of Lab pulling Becky's pigtails before she calls him a wee wee face?
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 14:49, Reply)
Why would I shove it through my ear?
I wouldn't want to risk contracting the A to Z of STIs, human, feline, canine and avian that you've been amassing over your considerable years.

You necrotic dog cock.

Edit: Fuck right off, I'd rather rip her damn pixie hair out and wear it as a merkin while I fuck her gran.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 14:50, Reply)
I think it's the internet version of all the names I'm going to call him
next time I see him in London

Edit: Rabid shitweasel.
(I helped save b3ta! fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 14:50, Reply)
Cat AIDS.
The drummer in my band was convinced, for ages, that you could catch AIDS if a cat with "cat AIDS" bit you.
I think he still believes it, secretly.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 14:52, Reply)
agreed
it's playground foreplay taken to the next level.

I also find it quite amusing at how far the polite young lab has come in the last few weeks.
(I helped save b3ta! djtrialprice, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 14:53, Reply)
Sadly no, but your thumb may well swell up to the point of bursting
while nasty bacteria pulsates through your body and you need IV antibiotics to stave off madness.
(I helped save b3ta! fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 14:53, Reply)
You won't see me in London
If I see you first.

I'll either walk away in disgust, or drive a truck up your arse. Fetid gash.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 14:56, Reply)
Bored now
someone entertain me
(I helped save b3ta! fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 15:04, Reply)
Diddled yourself so much your clit finally fell off?
It was inevitable. Guess you'll have to have an emo cry about it, then make a shit attempt at ending your life.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 15:06, Reply)
*dances charleston*
*busts out a 16 of Sean Paul*
(I helped save b3ta! djtrialprice, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 15:06, Reply)
*sits in the corner*
*strokes kittums*
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 15:10, Reply)
*performs donkey show*
*loses deposit on donkey costume due to stains even boiling can't remove*
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 15:13, Reply)
Well Chains
You'd better not get any of that on the hat!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 15:26, Reply)
Still bored
you lot are rubbish at entertaining me.

Nope, it didn't fall off. Unlike your cock falling out of the ladies as it's too damn small.
(I helped save b3ta! fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 15:32, Reply)
I like to imagine
Everyone dumbstruck by the mental image. *puts on hat*
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 15:32, Reply)
Becky
My cock is only small compared to the frankly gargantuan dildos you so often employ. By the way, how's the Intestinator faring? I hear you have to use a couple of handfuls of sand though, just to acquire purchase.

Edit: *dons the threadkiller hat*
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 15:38, Reply)
oooh
and it's covered in various bodily fluids now as well!
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 15:46, Reply)
Lab
You can keep that hat, I think I'll craft a new one.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 15:48, Reply)
That becky is still bored
Is a failing in her imagination, not ours. Doubtless a product of instant gratification, she is unable to amuse herself once the stimulus is removed.
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 15:50, Reply)
well quite frankly
I don't know what the world's coming to if a few bars of one of Jamaica's finest dance-hall acts isn't classed as entertainment.

*shakes head, tuts, turns and leaves... FOR-EVAH!*
(I helped save b3ta! djtrialprice, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 15:51, Reply)
You'll be back
they all come back
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 15:55, Reply)
Becky is my Norf London girl
and she's ace.
I only like being horrible when everyone else isn't.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 15:59, Reply)
You will DJ
You'll be back before you know it!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 16:00, Reply)
*hands dok spunk covered hat*

(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 16:28, Reply)
*Fashions TGB a new hat*
*made entirely from his own hardened secretions*
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 16:58, Reply)
Thanks
you spoil me
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 17:10, Reply)
It's not that big a deal
I secrete quite excessively.
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 17:18, Reply)

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