wow
that was a *LONG* Bork.

how did you survive?
Me? I rocked back and forth muttering "mingeflaps" over and over.
(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 8 May 2009, 9:13, 75 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I had a wank at my desk..
In front of all my staff. Whilst crying and screaming the Lord's Prayer.

/Albert Fish
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 8 May 2009, 9:14, Reply)

LesbianROLFMAYO

(Bert's other profile wants to wear your balls on a necklace, Fri 8 May 2009, 9:15, Reply)

Morning!!
I've been asleep! I only just waked up and have to sort out 'putery things before I head down to London.

I missed it all. But I feel AMAZING!
(Psyche finishes work at the end of June! Yay!!!, Fri 8 May 2009, 9:18, Reply)

But you're still a girl, right?

(Bert's other profile wants to wear your balls on a necklace, Fri 8 May 2009, 9:19, Reply)

Heading to London Psyche
You should come to the bash tonight then!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 8 May 2009, 9:28, Reply)

There's a bash tonight?
Is that DiT's stag?
(Psyche finishes work at the end of June! Yay!!!, Fri 8 May 2009, 9:31, Reply)

Not DiT's Stag
It'm my Birthday bash.

Come, It'll be great!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 8 May 2009, 9:32, Reply)

Oooh!!
Happy Birthday Bash Day toooo yoouuuuuu!
(Psyche finishes work at the end of June! Yay!!!, Fri 8 May 2009, 9:34, Reply)

If me and the Mr are near there tonight
I may just poke my head in.

But we're probably going to be on t'other side of London, and I've told him we have to be back by 10, coz of getting up at the sparrow's fart tomorrow morning to go to Devon. Urgh.

Next Birthday tho I definitely will. And you may hold me to that. (Cause I'll be living in London then!!)
(Psyche finishes work at the end of June! Yay!!!, Fri 8 May 2009, 9:37, Reply)

Way cool
Well have a good night whatever you do.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 8 May 2009, 9:43, Reply)

I went out into the real
world. I tried lying to some people, and that didn't work. I tried to proclaim myself their saviour, but they were too fat to care.

In short, I am JMG.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Fri 8 May 2009, 9:18, Reply)

Bert, you adorable cunt
I have evidence.
(Psyche finishes work at the end of June! Yay!!!, Fri 8 May 2009, 9:19, Reply)

Evidence of...?
I saw you were trying to upload a photo before, do you still need help?
(Bert's other profile wants to wear your balls on a necklace, Fri 8 May 2009, 9:20, Reply)

That
was the evidence.
(Psyche finishes work at the end of June! Yay!!!, Fri 8 May 2009, 9:21, Reply)

And I probably do still need help.
But not with the photo.
(Psyche finishes work at the end of June! Yay!!!, Fri 8 May 2009, 9:23, Reply)

Eh?
What happened?
( Cawl, Fri 8 May 2009, 9:20, Reply)

it was out
for at least 2 and a half hours - not sure if it was longer but yep - that's how long I've been home from school and that's how long it was out for, for me at least.
(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 8 May 2009, 9:21, Reply)

Have you found a way
to come to the UK yet?

If all else fails, pretend you're being persecuted in your country and we'll let you in. We'll even throw a fruit basket in.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Fri 8 May 2009, 9:23, Reply)

I have a way to come to the UK
but not to stay permanently like I want to. :( Unless I can find a sponsored job so I can get a tier 2 general work visa.
(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 8 May 2009, 9:27, Reply)

Ah right.
I just got to work and all was normal.
Ah well, least we've still got the nested replies!
( Cawl, Fri 8 May 2009, 9:24, Reply)

Vampy vampy vampy
I would like to give you a very large hug! Just, you know, because I feel in a bouncy fluffeh mood today, and while it lasts I'd like to share.

Besides... I'm trying to get on your good side so I can read some of your naughty stories!
(Psyche finishes work at the end of June! Yay!!!, Fri 8 May 2009, 9:22, Reply)

You could still be a man.
Just one with long hair.
( Cawl, Fri 8 May 2009, 9:25, Reply)

Or a wig.

( Cawl, Fri 8 May 2009, 9:25, Reply)

You only want nested replies so that you can talk to yourself.

( thealternativefact, Fri 8 May 2009, 9:27, Reply)

Pretty much,
Yeah.
( Cawl, Fri 8 May 2009, 9:29, Reply)

ahah you want to read some of my naughty stories???
christ I'll have to write some more then.

Give me some ideas of what you want people and I'll try to write them in.

*hugs back*
(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 8 May 2009, 9:26, Reply)

Hmmm...
Well, erm, having not really read much naughty literature I don't really know what one should ask for...

Oooh there has to be something in the back of a police van. Not that I have any *ideas* about the backs of police vans and what they should be used for...
(Psyche finishes work at the end of June! Yay!!!, Fri 8 May 2009, 9:31, Reply)

hmmm Back of a police van.
/noted.
/gets ideas.
/horns.
/stops b3taing for a little bit ...
....
....

ahhh much better.
/reenters b3ta.
(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 8 May 2009, 9:32, Reply)

It's good isn't it.
The back of the police van.

Yep, storing up thoughts for poor Mr Psyche when I see him tonight!
(Psyche finishes work at the end of June! Yay!!!, Fri 8 May 2009, 9:34, Reply)

oooooo
lucky mr psyche!!

:D

/agrees with bert.
Would. Even though can't see your face. Would.
(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 8 May 2009, 9:39, Reply)

*checks profile*
Would. Even though I can't see your face
(Bert's other profile wants to wear your balls on a necklace, Fri 8 May 2009, 9:26, Reply)

Wondered why I couldn't check the site this morning
In bed. Not alone.

I had God with me, as he is with all of us.

The slag.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 8 May 2009, 9:26, Reply)

I know
bit of a tart ain't 'e?
(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 8 May 2009, 9:27, Reply)

Pfft
even God wouldn't call you the next day.
(Bert's other profile wants to wear your balls on a necklace, Fri 8 May 2009, 9:28, Reply)

he wouldn't even look at you though Bert.
He'd just cover his eyes and kick you out of bed for farting.
(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 8 May 2009, 9:31, Reply)

Sadly, dear Bertisimus
You're right. No one calls me after sex.

You're not allowed to use phones in hospitals.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 8 May 2009, 9:31, Reply)

don't you mean the morgue?
Oh right - guess that's part of the hospital...
(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 8 May 2009, 9:33, Reply)

I readed
Last nights threads.

And thought about mingeflaps!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 8 May 2009, 9:27, Reply)

I'm alarmed
by how similar we are.

Are you me? Male and 23 years into the future??
(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 8 May 2009, 9:30, Reply)

Yes I am
I come from the furure where you turned into a man.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 8 May 2009, 9:43, Reply)

oh bugger.

(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 8 May 2009, 9:47, Reply)

Well I'm not allowed to tell you much
Just that it was spontanious change, with no surgery involved.

And watch out for the Cane Toads!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 8 May 2009, 9:49, Reply)

Prolapsed womb?

(Bert's other profile wants to wear your balls on a necklace, Fri 8 May 2009, 9:52, Reply)

Nope
It's like what polliwogs go through!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 8 May 2009, 9:53, Reply)

I could've predicted that would happen
it's because she's so heartbroken about me rejecting her
(Bert's other profile wants to wear your balls on a necklace, Fri 8 May 2009, 9:49, Reply)

bert stop lying you jumper.
i rejected you. Multiple times. With a big red "REJECTED" stamp and everything.
(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 8 May 2009, 10:35, Reply)

I did some work!
And polished my desk too. Now it smell pine fresh, instead of geek fresh.
(Potty Jag har smör i min rumpspringa, Fri 8 May 2009, 9:27, Reply)

I read other sites
Such as fmylife and notalwaysright and them begged my boss for some work.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 8 May 2009, 9:34, Reply)

With the new reply-count thing,
I'm a little confused:
b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post417218
There are two replies there, but it only counts on on the main board.
( Cawl, Fri 8 May 2009, 9:37, Reply)

Not that I'm particularly bothered,
Just wondering.
( Cawl, Fri 8 May 2009, 9:38, Reply)

cr3 said
that nested replies are included in the count for QOTW.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 8 May 2009, 9:40, Reply)

Yeah, he did.
So why does 1+1=1?
( Cawl, Fri 8 May 2009, 9:43, Reply)

TBH
No idea mate, maybe cr3 fucked it up, or it's only for OT, I dunno :/
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 8 May 2009, 9:43, Reply)

*shrugs*
Like I said, I'm not bothered, just wondering!
( Cawl, Fri 8 May 2009, 9:47, Reply)

*licks*
Hi Kaol, how are you and the REAL Mrs, who I've even spoke to and everything?
(Bert's other profile wants to wear your balls on a necklace, Fri 8 May 2009, 9:49, Reply)

Er,
Ok thanks.
I'm seeing her this weekend.

How's the Bert-Mrs? Is that a valid question?
( Cawl, Fri 8 May 2009, 9:54, Reply)

Yes it is
She's fucking mental, and getting worse by the minute. But I love her dearly.
(Bert's other profile wants to wear your balls on a necklace, Fri 8 May 2009, 9:56, Reply)

Not the answer I was expecting,
But best of luck with that!
( Cawl, Fri 8 May 2009, 9:59, Reply)

Kaol
You're not super, not at all. You're quite the opposite of super. In fact you're the antithesis of superman but not in the good way.
( Captain V, Fri 8 May 2009, 9:51, Reply)

He's just calling himself Super because I called him that
and he loves me and respects me more than any of you lot
(Bert's other profile wants to wear your balls on a necklace, Fri 8 May 2009, 9:52, Reply)

I know.
I feel like I've been named.
It's given me my porpoise in life.
( Cawl, Fri 8 May 2009, 9:53, Reply)

There, there Mr
It's going to be alright now...

I'm a little bit disgusted with myself, now that I know who your lady friend is, I feel like you have a human side
(Bert's other profile wants to wear your balls on a necklace, Fri 8 May 2009, 9:55, Reply)

Hmm...
Why does that make a difference though?
( Cawl, Fri 8 May 2009, 9:56, Reply)

I don't know
it just does. I feel like the wind has been taken out of the sails of my Hate Kaol boat.
(Bert's other profile wants to wear your balls on a necklace, Fri 8 May 2009, 9:57, Reply)

Oh, ok.
So... This is a little awkward...
( Cawl, Fri 8 May 2009, 9:58, Reply)

Let's gay up
like Power Rangers with CockZords
(Bert's other profile wants to wear your balls on a necklace, Fri 8 May 2009, 10:00, Reply)

Do I get to be the pink one?

( Cawl, Fri 8 May 2009, 10:00, Reply)

Nobody can mess with Kimberley
she was the best. I hate you again now.

You rotten wanker.
(Bert's other profile wants to wear your balls on a necklace, Fri 8 May 2009, 10:01, Reply)

Eh,
Easy come, easy go.
( Cawl, Fri 8 May 2009, 10:03, Reply)

I despise you
You fetid bucket of mong piss
(Bert's other profile wants to wear your balls on a necklace, Fri 8 May 2009, 10:04, Reply)

Does that mean
He's Bizarro?
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 8 May 2009, 9:52, Reply)

Bizarre, certainly
I mean that in a good way of course :)
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 8 May 2009, 9:55, Reply)

That's because
We're special.

Very Special!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 8 May 2009, 9:51, Reply)

Byesy bye!
I'm off to have a very long shower, tidy my house, spend about an hour getting ready, pack my bags and head down with the hound of doom to ye great smoke.

Have a lovely b3taday.

Yay for Fridays off!!!
(Psyche finishes work at the end of June! Yay!!!, Fri 8 May 2009, 9:41, Reply)

One little question
who the feck takes pictures of the back of your head at the deli counter of some market place?

EDIT 2nd question, are you a girl?
(Bert's other profile wants to wear your balls on a necklace, Fri 8 May 2009, 9:46, Reply)