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Are you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.

(

rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)

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This story
made me smile
www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1081355/The-100-000-white-wedding-16-year-old-girl-lives-caravan.html

Apologies for the Daily Heil link, but the second photo really is great.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 26 May 2009, 9:41, 123 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I bet she has
an even bigger vag than me.

What's most shocking about that story is that her parents are still together after 17 years
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 26 May 2009, 9:45, Reply)

Have you seen the size of the mum's norks?
Her dad is clearly a man of simple tastes.
(

The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 26 May 2009, 10:18, Reply)

Christ all fucking mighty.
/ac
(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 26 May 2009, 9:46, Reply)

I'll /ac you in a minute if you don't hurry up and come home.

(

thealternativefact, Tue 26 May 2009, 9:57, Reply)

Bloody hell
As soon as I saw the URl address I had an idea of what the photo's would look like... glad not to be disappointed!
(Potty Jag har smör i min rumpspringa, Tue 26 May 2009, 9:49, Reply)

Would it be inappropriate to say FSF?
the daily hate is a shiterag at the best of times but plundering "Closer" magazine for a story? Puh-leeze.
(Eds Meds Mathskillz=1,Socialskillz=0, Tue 26 May 2009, 9:50, Reply)

I've seen this before.
Complete and utter madness.

These people spend thousands of pounds on utterly chavtastic weddings for their daughters. The female guests all try to outdo each other with their stripper wedding outfits and this includes the very young girls.
(

girlinthehole, Tue 26 May 2009, 9:50, Reply)

Have you ever seen
My Super Sweet Sixteen?

OMFG.
(

Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 26 May 2009, 10:31, Reply)

Sorry to point out stereotypes
But 'traveller family' and 'lays driveways'...
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 26 May 2009, 9:50, Reply)

No!
you don't mean to substitute the words in your description for:

"lying theiving chavvy c_nts"

do you?
(Eds Meds Mathskillz=1,Socialskillz=0, Tue 26 May 2009, 9:52, Reply)

I wouldn't possibly cast such dispersions

(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 26 May 2009, 9:58, Reply)

Edmund!
You swore!
/shocked
(

thealternativefact, Tue 26 May 2009, 9:59, Reply)

Sorry
/shames

(I swore a lot more on Saturday when the mighty Inverness Caley Thistle were relegated)
(Eds Meds Mathskillz=1,Socialskillz=0, Tue 26 May 2009, 10:05, Reply)

Oh dear.
But what would the highs be without the lows?

*assumes there are some highs for Inverness Caley*
(

thealternativefact, Tue 26 May 2009, 10:09, Reply)

There were in the dim and distant past
just not this season, and we had Terry Butcher (w@nker) as our coach.
(Eds Meds Mathskillz=1,Socialskillz=0, Tue 26 May 2009, 10:13, Reply)

Terry Butcher!
I didn't know that. Is he still bleeding?
Or just bleeding crap?
(

thealternativefact, Tue 26 May 2009, 10:15, Reply)

^^^^
Hehehehe

Don't worry though Edmund. ICT have been replaced by the mighty, mighty Saints. Yeeeeeeesssssss.

Fa'kirk should have gone down
(

djtrialprice, Tue 26 May 2009, 10:19, Reply)

Not talking to you ;)
You'll be back next year ... and you're right, Falkirk should've gone down. I think it's anti-teuchterism these people from the central belt don't want to travel up the A9!
(Eds Meds Mathskillz=1,Socialskillz=0, Tue 26 May 2009, 10:24, Reply)

Bleeding crap
but he's probably best not to show face around the Eastgate centre ... :(
(Eds Meds Mathskillz=1,Socialskillz=0, Tue 26 May 2009, 10:20, Reply)

haha

(

thealternativefact, Tue 26 May 2009, 10:26, Reply)

He makes his living laying driveways
I think that's a lie, I think he makes his living ripping off pensioners by laying shitty bits of tarmac that he nicked off a building site.

Is that a horrific stereotype? Because how the fuck else did he save up £100,000 pounds.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 26 May 2009, 9:53, Reply)

That thought did cross my mind
And his daughter's a minger.
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 26 May 2009, 9:58, Reply)

"How easy it is to mock people who are different to you,"
says Adrian from Nova Scotia.

Yes Adrian - I don't agree with your use of grammar, but the principle is correct.
Welcome to b3ta.
(

thealternativefact, Tue 26 May 2009, 9:55, Reply)

Hello!

(Bazongaloid, Tue 26 May 2009, 9:58, Reply)

Hello!

(

thealternativefact, Tue 26 May 2009, 9:58, Reply)

Hello!

(Bazongaloid, Tue 26 May 2009, 10:01, Reply)

HELLO
I don't think he can hear me...
(

thealternativefact, Tue 26 May 2009, 10:02, Reply)

Hello!

Ssh, don't tell her but I can hear her fine, I'm just pretending
(Bazongaloid, Tue 26 May 2009, 10:04, Reply)

Hello!
(is there an echo here?)
(Eds Meds Mathskillz=1,Socialskillz=0, Tue 26 May 2009, 10:07, Reply)

Hello?
Hello?

Oh FFS, sorry Clendrix, there's someone else on the line. I'll call you back.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 26 May 2009, 10:07, Reply)

Are you holding a conversation in TGB's vag?

(

fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 26 May 2009, 10:11, Reply)

YES!
I fucking love this meme.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 26 May 2009, 10:11, Reply)

And it's all mine ;)

(

fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 26 May 2009, 10:12, Reply)

Can you water
the plans whilst you're there, recent heatwave has left them a bit droopy
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 26 May 2009, 10:12, Reply)

I'll water your plans anytime baby.

(

thealternativefact, Tue 26 May 2009, 10:13, Reply)

Damn missing T
But thanks ;)
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 26 May 2009, 10:14, Reply)

You mean
that we can't bring fluid to your plans?
(Eds Meds Mathskillz=1,Socialskillz=0, Tue 26 May 2009, 10:20, Reply)

plans or glans
I'm missing tea at the moment.
(

djtrialprice, Tue 26 May 2009, 10:20, Reply)

Well
there's enough room to set up a tea room in there.
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 26 May 2009, 10:25, Reply)

Just so long as there's no cheesy biscuits
:O
(Eds Meds Mathskillz=1,Socialskillz=0, Tue 26 May 2009, 10:29, Reply)

Dear lord...

(

thealternativefact, Tue 26 May 2009, 10:41, Reply)

Hello!
Oh what a shame - I had some cake and an interesting place to put it
*wanders off*
(

thealternativefact, Tue 26 May 2009, 10:08, Reply)

Don't go!
It was just getting interesting.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 26 May 2009, 10:11, Reply)

Hello?

(

thealternativefact, Tue 26 May 2009, 10:12, Reply)

Hej?
Vem er han den här?
(Potty Jag har smör i min rumpspringa, Tue 26 May 2009, 10:16, Reply)

Bloody Hell!!!
Don't know what to say about this.

Nice tits?

Seems like I'm in the wrong line of work mind. Maybe I'll move into a caravan and start laying driveways for a living...

And did any one else notice: "Guest Victoria Docherty, 23, who wore a £700 hotpants and bra outfit..."

How the fuck can a bra and hotpants cost £700???
(

TheMattInAHat has a particular... odour..., Tue 26 May 2009, 10:02, Reply)

I find this story faaaaaar more chilling
www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-1187206/Angelina-Jolie-chows-chocolate-cake-set-new-flick.html

A beautiful woman, eating CAKE. Heavens no.
(

fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 26 May 2009, 10:12, Reply)

What I wouldn't give to be that piece of cake.

(Slip Digby is a meat puppet, Tue 26 May 2009, 10:15, Reply)

Oh!
Hello you slag.
(

thealternativefact, Tue 26 May 2009, 10:19, Reply)

Well hello!

(Slip Digby is a meat puppet, Tue 26 May 2009, 10:20, Reply)

I say, is it that young raffish Slip Digby flaunting his sexy ways round here again?
HEEEEELLLLOOOO
(

fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 26 May 2009, 10:21, Reply)

HELLLOOOOO!
He rather is, you know. Is that delectably scrummy young slice of ladyness beckyletters keeping the rest of the unwashed masses in check this fine day?
(Slip Digby is a meat puppet, Tue 26 May 2009, 10:30, Reply)

I am today the great unwashed
for I simply cannot be buggered to get dressed this morning. /dolescum
(

fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 26 May 2009, 10:32, Reply)

A NUDEY GIRL ONLINE??
I rather suspect you mean that you're still in your pyjamas. This is a point that is causing me to experience an extreme bout of jealously.

I hope that the job hunt is going well, though. :)
(Slip Digby is a meat puppet, Tue 26 May 2009, 10:35, Reply)

pyjamas...erm yes of course I am
Waiting to hear back on a job today, but getting bored of waiting.
(

fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 26 May 2009, 10:42, Reply)

Phwoar!
*disengage "The Sun Editorial" mode*

Good luck! :) *crosses everything!*
(Slip Digby is a meat puppet, Tue 26 May 2009, 10:43, Reply)

How are you, you sexy thang?

(

thealternativefact, Tue 26 May 2009, 10:23, Reply)

Most good, thank you, most good.
And how are you, you devilishly attractive young whippersnapper?
(Slip Digby is a meat puppet, Tue 26 May 2009, 10:31, Reply)

Full of the joys of spring!
:)
(

thealternativefact, Tue 26 May 2009, 10:40, Reply)

Cold and Wet?

(Slip Digby is a meat puppet, Tue 26 May 2009, 10:44, Reply)

*grins*
Yes, that's right.
(

thealternativefact, Tue 26 May 2009, 10:49, Reply)

As soon as I noticed she has handcuffs on
I stopped reading the article.

I'd give her a 'post-cake glow'!
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 26 May 2009, 10:16, Reply)

you're such a charming lovely fellow
it's why we loves you.
(Poppet some assembly required., Tue 26 May 2009, 10:39, Reply)

didn't you get the memo?
we're hating Lab this week
(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 26 May 2009, 10:48, Reply)

DOWN WIV LABIA!

(Slip Digby is a meat puppet, Tue 26 May 2009, 10:51, Reply)

I don't hate him.
I don't hate anybody. I'm too fluffy to hate people.

I do intensely dislike some people though.
(Poppet some assembly required., Tue 26 May 2009, 10:52, Reply)

Hello!

(Bazongaloid, Tue 26 May 2009, 10:55, Reply)

haha

(

thealternativefact, Tue 26 May 2009, 11:00, Reply)

How was your bank holiday?

(Bazongaloid, Tue 26 May 2009, 11:00, Reply)

Let's just say...
it was one of the best I've had in a looooooong fucking time :)
(

thealternativefact, Tue 26 May 2009, 11:04, Reply)

Wooo!
Sounds good. I hung a picture. And I dug a big hole. And I did some weeding. And I drank some pimms. And I ate some steak.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 26 May 2009, 11:11, Reply)

Hanging pictures and digging holes are always high on the list of win
steak however...well it's a bit average really.

Would kill for Jaffa cakes right now
(

fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 26 May 2009, 11:17, Reply)

Hurrah!
We fucking rock.
(

thealternativefact, Tue 26 May 2009, 11:18, Reply)

Not as hard as we're going too in a few weeks
we're going to rock so hard I'm concerned I may need to reinforce my foundations.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 26 May 2009, 11:20, Reply)

Yay!

(

thealternativefact, Tue 26 May 2009, 11:25, Reply)

hello
How goes it al?
(Poppet some assembly required., Tue 26 May 2009, 11:05, Reply)

It goes well
I'm going to get a bollocking this afternoon at work, but at least I can stay in the UK as long as I want.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 26 May 2009, 11:12, Reply)

OMIGOD

(Slip Digby is a meat puppet, Tue 26 May 2009, 11:15, Reply)

Yes, I went there.

(Bazongaloid, Tue 26 May 2009, 11:16, Reply)

O no u didn't

(

fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 26 May 2009, 11:16, Reply)

Uh Huh!
*moves head sideways*

*gesticulates with a single finger to emphasise the point*
(Bazongaloid, Tue 26 May 2009, 11:20, Reply)

BITCH, YOU AIN'T MY BABY'S DADDY!

(Slip Digby is a meat puppet, Tue 26 May 2009, 11:22, Reply)

eh. Not getting a rise Al.
It's you. I don't really care - mainly cos I'm not going there to see you! :)
(Poppet some assembly required., Tue 26 May 2009, 11:22, Reply)

But if you want to see the rest of us, you'll have to see him too
and be nice to him or I'll accuse you of internet bullying and hit you. Hard.
(

fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 26 May 2009, 11:24, Reply)

Terrible bullying

(Bazongaloid, Tue 26 May 2009, 11:25, Reply)

I'm nice to everybody :)
it's just varying degrees of niceness is all.
(Poppet some assembly required., Tue 26 May 2009, 11:28, Reply)

pfft
you're mean to my friend. I no like you.
(

fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 26 May 2009, 11:30, Reply)

Leave it becky
she ain't worth it girlfriend.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 26 May 2009, 11:31, Reply)

how am I mean by being ...
politely and truthfully courteous?
*confused*
(Poppet some assembly required., Tue 26 May 2009, 11:32, Reply)

It's like /talk
Some people just don't know when people are being nice.
(Potty Jag har smör i min rumpspringa, Tue 26 May 2009, 11:37, Reply)

Sure, only she isn't.

(

fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 26 May 2009, 11:39, Reply)

I'm sensing a considerable amount
of people getting upset at the internet. Are you?
(Bazongaloid, Tue 26 May 2009, 11:41, Reply)

wobbles

(

fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 26 May 2009, 11:42, Reply)

I'm not upset
or being mean. Just slightly confused.
(Poppet some assembly required., Tue 26 May 2009, 11:44, Reply)

Help help, I'm being opressed!

(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 26 May 2009, 11:00, Reply)

Come and see the violence inherent in the system!

(Slip Digby is a meat puppet, Tue 26 May 2009, 11:14, Reply)

Oh are we?
no one sent me the memo
(

fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 26 May 2009, 10:52, Reply)

Sorry...
who are you?
(

thealternativefact, Tue 26 May 2009, 10:55, Reply)

No one

(

fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 26 May 2009, 11:00, Reply)

No one
but no one in sexy pants.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 26 May 2009, 11:01, Reply)

A fabulous no one

(

thealternativefact, Tue 26 May 2009, 11:03, Reply)

Not as fabulous as some
but more fabulous than most :)
(

fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 26 May 2009, 11:06, Reply)

That's my girl!
:)
(

thealternativefact, Tue 26 May 2009, 11:09, Reply)

Not currently wearing pants
it's too hot
(

fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 26 May 2009, 11:06, Reply)

I like your style

(Bazongaloid, Tue 26 May 2009, 11:12, Reply)

And that's called
Freeballin'
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 26 May 2009, 11:13, Reply)

I doubt it, for I'm a laaaaaydey

(

fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 26 May 2009, 11:16, Reply)

Always with the sexism
Call it freeflappin' then.
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 26 May 2009, 11:20, Reply)

Eugh
that sounds like all kinds of wrong
(

fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 26 May 2009, 11:20, Reply)

Now
I like your style.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 26 May 2009, 11:21, Reply)

That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me

(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 26 May 2009, 11:21, Reply)

Horrid boys

(

fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 26 May 2009, 11:24, Reply)

*sings*
Cuz I'm freeeeeee!
Free flah-aah-pin'!
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 26 May 2009, 11:27, Reply)

She's a good girl!
Loves her mimsy,
loves Jesus, and his lovely hair.

She's a good girl,
crazy 'bout sex toys,
She loves horses, and her boyfriend too!
(Bazongaloid, Tue 26 May 2009, 11:31, Reply)

Same here
I thought we were hating fish paste?
(Potty Jag har smör i min rumpspringa, Tue 26 May 2009, 10:56, Reply)

I think that's a given.

(

thealternativefact, Tue 26 May 2009, 10:57, Reply)

Paranoia...tingling...
I would be honoured that you've devoted an entire week to hating me.

But I'm too busy crying from my penis
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 26 May 2009, 10:59, Reply)

My penis doesn't do that crying thing.
Am I normal?
(Slip Digby is a meat puppet, Tue 26 May 2009, 11:15, Reply)

Of course you're not.

(

thealternativefact, Tue 26 May 2009, 11:18, Reply)

Clears throat
duh
(

fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 26 May 2009, 11:19, Reply)

Coming from you, that's rich.
;)
(Slip Digby is a meat puppet, Tue 26 May 2009, 11:21, Reply)

Normal? No
But you're not alone in your plight, there are others like you. They will welcome you with a warm embrace.

Just stay away from me, freaky-cock!
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 26 May 2009, 11:19, Reply)

I wouldn't call it devotion
it's more like a general, low-grade, background hatred

the sort that is emitted by igneous rocks
(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 26 May 2009, 11:26, Reply)

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