My company is employing a large firm of cleaners to clean all our offices
rather than the local people that we have been using.

Most of us have never met our old cleaner, she did a shit job, and left us annoying notes about leaving stuff on/under/near our desks when it is none of her fucking business.

So why the fuck are our admin staff trying to get us to sign a leaving card for the silly bint?

that sort of shit annoys me.

Generally though, I'm in a good mood. How are you?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 27 May 2009, 9:37, 16 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Our cleaners are shit too
Is there such thing as a good office cleaner? Our cleaners also steal our biscuits
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 27 May 2009, 9:40, Reply)

thieving cunts!
apparently the new uber-cleaners we are employing will be very good. hard to be worse though.

what used to really annoy me is that we have 2 or 3 pint glasses in an office of 45 or so, and as I don't drink tea or coffee I like to be able to get pints of water, and the stupid cow would take my pint glass off my desk every night meaning that some other fucker would steal it the next day.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 27 May 2009, 9:45, Reply)

Ours is excellent
Lovely bloke.

I don't get the whole leaving card thing. It's nice and all, but when I don't knwo the person who's leaving (maybe one e-mail in three years), why should I sign their card? I wouldn't really want a card signed by dozens of people who I barely know. I'd rather have one saying goodbye from the people I actually know and mean it.
(Potty Jag har smör i min rumpspringa, Wed 27 May 2009, 9:50, Reply)

I'm loved by all
so everyone would have to sign mine
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 27 May 2009, 9:52, Reply)

Signed
*Good Riddance*
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Wed 27 May 2009, 9:58, Reply)

What's worse
Is when you can't stand the twat who's leaving and you're forced to put in a fiver for their leaving present. If you don't, everyone thinks you're a twat. Gah!

Our cleaners are lovely. Shite at cleaning, but lovely people.
(The Apeface Cherub is not a cunty-uber-cunt, Wed 27 May 2009, 9:53, Reply)

I rarely contribute much to a leaving present
unless it is someone I actually like.

That is unusual though, because I don't like many people, merely tolerate them :-)

The whole time I've been working only one person has ever left that I gave a shit about and they are fully aware of that without me having to chip in for what is likely to be a crappy gift.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 27 May 2009, 9:57, Reply)

Leaving presents
Birthday presents
Anniversary presents.

This is the reason I don't carry any cash at work any more.
(Potty Jag har smör i min rumpspringa, Wed 27 May 2009, 10:02, Reply)

Don't like the cleaner?
No one reads the comments so just write 'fuck off and die you thieving old scrote.'

Sign it as someone else though. And disguise your writing just in case.

In answer to your question - I am in a very good mood due to a great nights sleep with sexeh dreams about my first ever girlfriend (the grown up version of her, not the six year old). Amazing how a good dream about snogging, oral, reverse cowgirl and anal sets you up for the day eh? Shame the real world was not so obliging.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Wed 27 May 2009, 10:05, Reply)

Christ, my grubby dreams start out ok but then a bear chases me through treacle or I discover a peanut butter sandwich in my pocket.
( enoughblueskyforsailorstrousers, Wed 27 May 2009, 10:24, Reply)

I miss the cleaner from where I used to work
she was from Latvia and was the sweetest girl you ever met. Didn't mind cleaning up when a dog vomited all over the floor when she'd just mopped it, happy to help me clean the blood stains from the wall when we had an inspection.

Great tits too.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Wed 27 May 2009, 10:06, Reply)

I was surprised
to read your name there Becky.

I thought it was some of us lecherous blokes writing that!
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:01, Reply)

Girls can't be lecherous now?
well fail on me then.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:09, Reply)

Oh yes, of course you can
But it was just the bit about the great tits which made me assume the writer was male!
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:11, Reply)

Just sign the cocking card you miserable bastard!

Cost to you = zero
Benefits = admin people are happy you cooperated and maybe it will mean something to the cleaning lady
( enoughblueskyforsailorstrousers, Wed 27 May 2009, 10:10, Reply)

Just sign it
"That wasn't yoghurt." [CEO's name here]
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:57, Reply)