Wedding Presents
Ms Crow and I are off to a wedding this weekend. It occurred to me that I should probably buy a wedding present fairly soon.

The trouble is, the couple in question have already been living together for quite a while and have a sprog. They've given no wedding list, but suggested politely that a new toaster is hardly top of their list of priorities, and said that they'd prefer something to go towards either (a) the honeymoon or (b) doing up the house.

Any suggestions? The best thing I could come up with was a tin of white emulsion.
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:26, 24 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Honeymoon - dildo.
Do HER up the house.
(TheColonel, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:27, Reply)

I like the way you think
and would like to subscribe to your newsletter
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:42, Reply)

Magazine Subscriptions...
...piss easy. Do it online. Cheap.

Sorted.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:27, Reply)

Sounds like
you should just get them a homebase voucher or something
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:28, Reply)

What about a nice hamper of quality foodstuffs?
.
( girlinthehole, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:30, Reply)

Ooh, now that's not a bad idea
_{Bit more expensive than a tin of paint, but I suppose it's a special occasion...}
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:32, Reply)

or Booze
always a winner
(MichaelS wasn't picked again, Wed 27 May 2009, 12:57, Reply)

ºMoney!!
In a nice card or somat. Or find out where they're going on holidays and give them some spending money in the right currency.
(The Apeface Cherub is not a cunty-uber-cunt, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:33, Reply)

Groom's not called
Ed is he? That would be weird...
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:35, Reply)

He's not
But I presume you say that because you know an Ed who's getting married soon? Rather than because it is odd that anyone called Ed should ever get married?
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:37, Reply)

The Ed
I know is getting married this weekend, has been living with his missus for ages and has a kid. He may have two actually. But lots of similarities so thought I'd ask :)
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:41, Reply)

This Ed
didn't meet his missus in some sort of SF/fantasy role-play club, did he?

(Let's see how far this coincidence runs...)
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:42, Reply)

I'm not sure how
they met actually. I shall make it my mission to find out
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:45, Reply)

Kitchen stuff...
...always goes down quite well. I've brought Alessi stuff from John Lewis for the past few weddings I've been to and they've liked it lots! :)

EDIT: www.alessi.co.uk
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Wed 27 May 2009, 11:39, Reply)

B+Q, John Lewis, or Ikea vouchers?
I personally find the whole "asking for a contribution to the honeymoon" thing rather distasteful, and therefore always get vouchers instead.
(The Empress it seems you CAN polish a turd!, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:42, Reply)

It could be made more distasteful...
...see the colonel's first reply at the top of this thread, for example
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:43, Reply)

Buy them a gimp.
The gift that keeps on giving. Head.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:43, Reply)

Stick twenty quid in with a wedding card
job done
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:53, Reply)

I would recommend a good brand of arc welder, say for example the Sealey Arc Welder 150XTC
Oh right... wedding!

Erm, I got nothing.
( jim_bob can herd cats., Wed 27 May 2009, 11:54, Reply)

I like that suggestion
I'm almost tempted to go with that, for the same reason that my friend and I buy each other "Get well soon" or "To a lovely mother" cards for each other's birthdays...
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:56, Reply)

Go on... I dare you.
And if they don't like it, weld their car doors shut.

Sorted.
( jim_bob can herd cats., Wed 27 May 2009, 11:57, Reply)

Buy them a Honda accord
or John Lewis vouchers
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Wed 27 May 2009, 12:59, Reply)

The standard presents I fall back on are:
1) a picnic hamper (these range in price from the cheap useful rucksack type ones to the posh wicker basket ones);
2) a wine rack filled with wine (again, size and budget vary);
or
3) a stunt kite.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Wed 27 May 2009, 13:22, Reply)

Hmm....
Now I'm torn between the stunt kite and the arc welder...I wonder which would entertain the sprog for longer...
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 27 May 2009, 13:57, Reply)