Now I have no plans to watch Big Brother
but what do you think they should do this year to keep it 'Fresh'.

Mr Bin thinks they should remove all the furniture and replace it with peas.
I have always thought that they should make the walls move in slightly every day.
According to my friend who works on BB they did want to do that but they couldn't for some reason.

So what do you think they should do?
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Thu 4 Jun 2009, 21:03, 48 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Put them all in the house
and launch an airstrike
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 21:04, Reply)

^ This.
Or trap them all in there with Barry Scott.
( Maladicta, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 21:15, Reply)

Bollocks, I'm watching it now as I never miss launch night
Can't be buggered to go out.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 21:20, Reply)

Matches
Petrol.

Last one alive wins.
(Potty Jag har smör i min rumpspringa, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 21:41, Reply)

So far
They are all monumental twats. But as usual, you really get to like them by half way through. The mad Russian; Angel seems a bit interesting!
(Starvis something for the weekend sir?, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 21:43, Reply)

It's obvious.
Cunt them all in the fuck.

Simple.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 4 Jun 2009, 21:46, Reply)

But
which one should the public vote to be cunted first?
(Starvis something for the weekend sir?, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 21:48, Reply)

Dunno.
As I don't watch it.

Erm, Jade? She seemed like an obvious target. I heard she died, but I don't believe it.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 4 Jun 2009, 22:04, Reply)

OMG
How can you say such things about the Angel of England?

Right, i'm off to tell the Daily Mail

*flounce stage right*
(Starvis something for the weekend sir?, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 22:12, Reply)

OH NOEZ
JADE IS WIV LITLE BABBY P WIV DA ANGELS. HOW DARE U INSULT DA ANGLE OF BRITAIN, U LEFT WING HIPY
(Potty Jag har smör i min rumpspringa, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 22:16, Reply)

I voted UKIP today
Because they promised to bring Jade back to life.

And not make us pay taxes.

And let us have a picture of Lady Di, Princess of Hearts on our money and not the saggy old queen.

I vote the Queen out. JADE RULEZ.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 22:46, Reply)

effort
airstrike instead
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 21:49, Reply)

Liberally spike all the food with hallucinogens
when they finally collapse slightly rearrange and redecorate the main areas. Just a slightly different shade of paint, slightly different furniture. Just enough that they're not sure if they've just misremembered.

Repeat until they all go insane and turn on each other.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 22:18, Reply)

Set a fire
in one corner each day, using extremely flammable substances, while keeping the housemates naked and the rooms empty, so they only have each other to use to put the flames out.
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 22:20, Reply)

I've changed my mind.
Battle Royale is the way to go.
( Maladicta, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 22:30, Reply)

Weapons suggestions?
No explosive collars though. Just electroshock ones.
(Potty Jag har smör i min rumpspringa, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 22:31, Reply)

Blunt implements,
and the one I hate least with a minigun.
( Maladicta, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 22:32, Reply)

A minigun....
Firing rubber ducks?
(Potty Jag har smör i min rumpspringa, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 22:33, Reply)

Only if they explode
on impact.
( Maladicta, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 22:43, Reply)

That can be done
The perfect BB weapon - funny, yet deadly.

It'll need to fire bubbles too. Acid bubbles.
(Potty Jag har smör i min rumpspringa, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 22:48, Reply)

Yes.
And if you've played Ratchet and Clank, there needs to be a shock ravager too.
( Maladicta, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 22:49, Reply)

I haven't played it
However, I do have a game called Painkiller that has a gun that shoots shurikens and lightning. See Yhatzee's take on it..
(Potty Jag har smör i min rumpspringa, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 23:06, Reply)

We have Painkiller :D
Flatmate bought it on the strength of Yahtzee's review and it rocks!

The shock ravager is essentially an electric whip :)
( Maladicta, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 23:10, Reply)

Sounds perfect
Love Painkiller. Valve said that after his review sales of Painkiller went up 12% via Steam - that man has some power.

Checking out Ratchet and Clank now. Shock ravager sounds like a lot of fun... particularly in a BB context.
(Potty Jag har smör i min rumpspringa, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 23:16, Reply)

Yahtzee is God.
Equally so with Spoony.

The shock ravager sounds fun in a "customers are retarded" context as well, and minus the shock part in other situations...
( Maladicta, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 23:26, Reply)

Other situations?
I think we may be thinking on the same wavelength there. Just need to invent one that can do both - I think a very mild shock could also be useful there.

For customers though, I prefer sending a 16kHz signal at 102dB down the phone at them. Then finding where they live and paying a visit with the taser.
(Potty Jag har smör i min rumpspringa, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 23:32, Reply)

I think you very much are talking my language.
Although I can't recommend playing with one of those springy 12" rulers at work like someone's about to get six of the best, it makes your colleagues look at you funny.
( Maladicta, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 23:35, Reply)

I do that at work anyway
Both metal and wooden ones. People at work are used to me by now.
Plastic is best though in feel and sound. Pity you can't get leather rulers...
(Potty Jag har smör i min rumpspringa, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 23:39, Reply)

The problem is
my colleagues have no idea about my life outside of work and from experience I'd prefer it to stay that way! We have lovely springy ones at work that ping back beautifully (the joy of working in admin and having unrestricted access to such things since I'm in charge of ordering stationery). Leather rulers would be lully; I'm sure there's someone, somewhere, who's made one...
( Maladicta, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 23:44, Reply)

Mine have no idea either
They just know I'm weird. That bit of my life is something I'd rather not let them know about. Just everyone in the internet who reads this...

I'll stick with the proper leather implements. A ruler compliments the rest of it nicely... nothing quite like it for spring, width and snap.

It's fun what you can do with the stuff from the stationary.
(Potty Jag har smör i min rumpspringa, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 23:47, Reply)

I have no qualms about telling the internet.
Even though I have met some b3tans and know them quite well. I'm just not keen to let my colleagues know what I like...

Moving into the spare bedroom, while horribly gut-wrenchingly painful, did lead me to rediscover a springy leather crop I bought when then-Mr Maladicta and I first got together. I might 'liberate' one of the work rulers; if we're paperless, why the hell do we need them anyway?
( Maladicta, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 23:53, Reply)

Ditto.
It's the people you have to work with every day who would make things unfomfortable.

Liberation is most definatly called for. I have more than a few rulers and other fun bits stored away that originally came from work. Those funny clips for holding together large amounts of paper are very useful when a screw is added to stop them clamping completly closed.
(Potty Jag har smör i min rumpspringa, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 23:57, Reply)

They've given me enough grief
for still living with flatmate and not cunting him in the fuck (even though we still get on well and have done so for three months without murdering one another, he is a man and therefore a bastard). They're going to hate me when they find out we renewed the contract, so adding other tendencies to that list may not be wise...

I'm definitely nabbing a ruler; I'm normally last out of the office so it won't be too difficult to slip one into my bag. Now I just need someone to use it on...
( Maladicta, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 0:02, Reply)

If you get on with him
Whats the issue? It's none of their business anyway. I happily lived with one of my ex's for a while until I went off with another job. Sounds to me that, although not ideal, you're actually in a pretty good situation there.

And don't put thoughts in to my head...
(Potty Jag har smör i min rumpspringa, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 0:05, Reply)

There is no issue. They just think revenge is in order
"because he dumped you and you had to move into the spare room." We still get on well 99% of the time (he can be a moody git) and there's no reason for either of us to want to move (as much as monetary constraints).

I'm trying not to. Honest.
( Maladicta, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 0:14, Reply)

Silly, silly people
Gotta love the justice of the masses, eh?

And yeah, right. Pull the other one - it's got clamps on it.
(Potty Jag har smör i min rumpspringa, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 0:18, Reply)

Oww.
Vigilante female justice pisses me off and he knows to leg it if he sees them. It just annoys me that they think it'll prevent me from moving on and that they know best because they're older than me - and if anyone dares try setting me up or sending me out on the pull then they may well see out-of-work Maladicta and not in a good way...

I can't help it; the men who go "do not want" are so much more common than the ones who do...
( Maladicta, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 0:21, Reply)

They sound scary
I wouldn't blame him for running! I do hate it when people try to run your life from their own wisdom. Cunting in the fuck may be applicable at some point. I'm sure some b3tans can be rustled up.

Tis a bit of a pain to find someone who does want. I tend to get those who want to receive, not to give, so it's been some time.
(Potty Jag har smör i min rumpspringa, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 0:27, Reply)

I jusy wanted
to reply to see how squished over it goes.
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Fri 5 Jun 2009, 7:18, Reply)

"It could only be more awesome
if it had tits and was on fire."

That man is a genius.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 7:36, Reply)

introduce a new housemate
with swine flu
(Lord Chode, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 23:00, Reply)

Fantastic!
Or threaten them with infection instead of eviction!
(MrOli is ugly, but in the morning you will be sober, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 8:23, Reply)

just wait
till it all kicks off. Then very simply, send in a gun.
( I have run out of coke is a little sweaty, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 23:41, Reply)

move the walls in, just do it faster
a la www.youtube.com/watch?v=w-wWUuWxf_w (could only find a making of vid cos i'm useless)
( weaver., Fri 5 Jun 2009, 0:32, Reply)

Put a random drug in each food item
and watch them climb the walls.
(MrOli is ugly, but in the morning you will be sober, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 8:22, Reply)

Week 2 in the Big Brother House
and the housemates are in for a surprise!

*wall slides up in diary room*

*roaring noises*

*starving grizzly bear emerges*
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:22, Reply)

How about...
...just let them get on with all the usual twattery...




...but don't put it on the telly!!!!!

Imagine the shock as they emerge one by one to total silence and no fame.
(Che Grimsdale Best before:, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:14, Reply)

I reckon I should go on Big Brother.

( Cawl, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:36, Reply)