*huffs*
now that is just selfish

slight nsfw pic in article
( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 19:39, 3 replies, latest was 17 years ago)

.
I'm surprised she didn't just become a preying mantis and eat all her former husbands.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 19:41, Reply)

/engage bitch mode
She's hardly what I'd call a glamour model.

/disengage bitch mode
( Maladicta, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 19:42, Reply)

Perhaps
she's trying to do her bit to expand the number of available body-shapes that can make it to Glamour Model. But that still doesn't excuse her from being a non-eating preying mantis.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 19:45, Reply)

Then she is doing a service for the people. Of a sort.
Doesn't excuse her from being a greedy tart though, you're quite right.
( Maladicta, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 19:47, Reply)

At least it goes to show
that even if you're not a stereotype glamour model, you can still bag five husbands. Perhaps this turn of events might put a spanner in the works of the media's desire to control the appearance of the female body.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 19:53, Reply)

Spak you are all of the awesome.
Normal looking women FTW!

Tangential: my flatmate has a theory that there is an Isle Of Ugly Japanese Girls somewhere tucked away since you never seem to see any...
( Maladicta, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 19:56, Reply)

Indeed normal looking women FTW!
I'd say it was more an island of pictures of ugly Japanese women. I've never been to Japan, and apart from the few travellers who've made it to these fair shores, my only view of the Japs is through photos.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 20:05, Reply)

Nor have I, though I'd love to.
Have plans to go back to Lausanne with someone at some point in the future though. Woo and yay.

Flatmate is rather fond of Japanese women and their insanely high levels of beauty, so I suppose he has only seen a small sample ;)

*is very much normal looking*
( Maladicta, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 20:08, Reply)

.
Is Lausane where you did your exchange year at Uni? My sister did her exchange year there. Have never been to Lausanne but have been to Geneva several times.

One of my semi-online friends is obsessed with Japanese women to the point that he only pursues Japanese women.

Perhaps this thing about Japanese women and beauty has something to do with the fact that we're genetically programmed to be better at telling people from our own race apart than we are people of other races. This must be some sort of evolved mechanism to prevent incest.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 20:19, Reply)

Yep :) spent six months there and loved it
in spite of being plagued by Stalker Girl. Want to go back there with someone special. I don't remember spending a lot of time in Geneva, shamefully, other than to go to Ikea! When was your sister there?

Must be; I consider myself straight but open to persuasion, and there are some of them that make my jaw drop. Perhaps it is because they look slightly different to us... either way, it's all good, right?
( Maladicta, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 20:25, Reply)

About 10 years ago
Did you meat SG in Lausanne or did you know her from before?

I've heard from other sources that Japanese women can induce bisexuality in women. Have yet to hear of a case of Japanese men inducing bisexuality in men.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 20:37, Reply)

Oh, they can
They can...
(Potty Jag har smör i min rumpspringa, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 21:16, Reply)

AND SHE'S IN PORN
oops caps lock

but really, I wouldn't pay a dollar at the strip club for her to shimmy in my face
( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 19:51, Reply)

50 cents?
At a push?
( Maladicta, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 19:57, Reply)

I might play quarters with her cavernous clunge

( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 20:01, Reply)

You'd never get them back.
Best to use buttons.
( Maladicta, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 20:05, Reply)

lets be honest here
I wouldn't want them back

I did have a 'friend' once that claimed she could pick up a quarter with her cooter after watching a stripper pick up a dollar with hers.
( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 20:07, Reply)

Niiiiiice.
I prefer to use my mimsy for its intended purpose. And how the hell did she find that out?
( Maladicta, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 20:11, Reply)

I don't knoooooooooow
even if it's true why the hell would you tell someone that?!

and yes, I only use mine for its intended purpose as well.
( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 20:16, Reply)

After knowing Stalker Girl
nothing shocks me any more. This was a girl who would announce the joys of bumsex to the population of Tescos.
( Maladicta, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 20:21, Reply)

Be glad she didn't work there
She could wreak havoc with the tannoy.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 20:27, Reply)

Flatmate used to.
He used to get Teh Fear of it though!
( Maladicta, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 20:28, Reply)

I can just immagine him being on the tannoy
Attention all shopers. You are kindly reminded to refrain from talking about t3h buttsecks in this store - especially you Stalker Girl.

And to humiliate her even more, a foam downwards-pointing arrow could be suspended from the ceiling just above SG.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 20:40, Reply)

*pffffft*
She should just have that over her all the time, not just in Tescos.

"DO NOT TALK TO ME I AM A MENTAL".
( Maladicta, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 21:41, Reply)

Went on a camping trip, squatted down in the woods for a piss, when she went back up she picked up a racoon.
From there it's a simple process of getting smaller and smaller objects.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 20:21, Reply)

If you put a quarter inside her clunge
would it give you change in nickels if you didn't want to spend a quarter?
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 20:06, Reply)

I imagine theres some sort of penny shooter in there

( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 20:08, Reply)

Like Winona Ryder in the South Park movie?

( Maladicta, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 20:10, Reply)

Perhaps
strippers could install coin-operated fannies. Just insert the coins, and pull a pube according to which service you're after.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 20:24, Reply)

But strippers don't have pubes!

( Maladicta, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 20:25, Reply)

how incredibly accurate
I actually think I'd like to see more pubes on strippers...perhaps in fun shapes
( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 20:29, Reply)

You could invent a new party-game
Pin the clump of pubes on the bald mimsy.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 20:42, Reply)

how could I do that?
It was your idea.

After mass success and after I make billions you'll try to sue me.
( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 20:45, Reply)

Bad idea
Errant pubes would pick up lint from previous customers and deposit them on you lap. Before you know it the tumble drier's given you galloping knob rot.
(SpunkyMcSpunkbubble Diddled your nubbin on, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 21:50, Reply)

I quite like the fact that I don't have to click on dailymail links anymore, to get the whole story.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 19:57, Reply)

That's OT for you.
Providing a well-appreciated service.
( Maladicta, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 19:57, Reply)

c'mon c'mon, you can see a picture of her in a blond wig covering her nippleths

( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 19:58, Reply)

Why don't I see that picture?

( Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 20:02, Reply)

You can
Your brain refuses to process its unappealingness.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 20:03, Reply)

they took it down
fuckers
( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 20:04, Reply)

This is the Fail we're talking about after all.
Anyone who's not born and bred English is evil, immigrants carry a special kind of AIDS that lowers house prices and killed Princess Diana, and women don't have rude bits.
( Maladicta, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 20:07, Reply)

This I can confirm
and that too.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 20:10, Reply)

okay okay okay....
Right, 30 and married five times, so on average that's every 6 years.

Pretty good goin' I would say.

I'm not sure where the 'glamour model' thing has come from though, she's not ugly, but I wouldn't say she's glamour model material.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 20:08, Reply)

If she's a glamour model
then I'm Kate Beckinsale in Underworld.
( Maladicta, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 20:16, Reply)

may I have your autograph?!
*squeals in hope*
( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 20:18, Reply)

*draws a CDC on a piece of bus ticket*
There you go :)
( Maladicta, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 20:20, Reply)

I didn't realise Kate becinsomething is banksy !

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 20:25, Reply)

Apparently so!

( Maladicta, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 20:26, Reply)

*barges you out the way*

( Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 20:25, Reply)

Now, now.
There's enough Kate for everyone.
( Maladicta, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 20:26, Reply)

that's just rude :(
what a CRAP monday! *cries into her orange soda*
( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 20:28, Reply)

Who loves orange soda?

( Maladicta, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 20:29, Reply)

Kel loves orange soda!

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 20:46, Reply)

Is it true?

( Maladicta, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 20:51, Reply)

Indeed I do!

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 21:09, Reply)

I love orange Tango
best of all the Tangoes.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 20:48, Reply)

I had grape soda yesterday.
It reminded me of a girl I knew with grape lipbalm at school.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 21:06, Reply)

Nooo BFF!
We can share :)
( Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 20:29, Reply)

no, you've ruined it

( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 20:33, Reply)

:'(

( Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 20:36, Reply)

why are you crying?
I'm the one who should be crying

I totally asked for an autograph first, and here you come busting through pushing me out of the way

crappy BFF
( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 20:38, Reply)

Nooo
I luff you!! *lets you have the autograph and perves on you both*
( Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 20:41, Reply)

no no
*dismisses*

I don't want it.
( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 20:42, Reply)

*hugs*

( Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 20:53, Reply)

*brandishes whip*
There shall be no pushing.
( Maladicta, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 20:45, Reply)

Oh my

( Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 20:53, Reply)

Sorry. Reflex action.

( Maladicta, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 20:56, Reply)

Why are you sorry?

( Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 21:02, Reply)

Not sure although
I usually reserve the whip for someone else.
( Maladicta, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 21:03, Reply)

Ahem
What exactly is going on here?
(Potty Jag har smör i min rumpspringa, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 21:04, Reply)

OK. Now I don't feel guilty.
Was warming up for you, my pet.
( Maladicta, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 21:04, Reply)

Yes mistress
*assumes position*
(Potty Jag har smör i min rumpspringa, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 21:06, Reply)

*winds back and cracks, hard*

( Maladicta, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 21:06, Reply)