@the internet
I have just got back from the South Pole to return to my job as a fast jet pilot/humanitarian/philanthropist.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Sun 28 Jun 2009, 21:47, 38 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Old but still funny.

( girlinthehole, Sun 28 Jun 2009, 21:49, Reply)

I feel that Ed's posts on here
now that most people seem to know of his past, are akin to those poor fuckers who lie in urinals in gay clubs to get pissed on.

I wish that he / they wouldn't find pleasure in such humiliation...

...surely it can't be fun.
( I_Was_Mordred, Sun 28 Jun 2009, 21:51, Reply)

Ed?
What happened to him? Was he not around a while back? Something to do with science or some such thing?
(Fredz A graveyard of hopes, a dump of ambition, Sun 28 Jun 2009, 22:17, Reply)

He caught a bad dose of INTERNET LIES.
Not the interesting sort that make for good QOTW answers, but the fucked up sort that make you actually dangerous.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Sun 28 Jun 2009, 22:20, Reply)

Oh?
Fair enough. He always seemed vaugely ok to me. Dangerous though?
(Fredz A graveyard of hopes, a dump of ambition, Sun 28 Jun 2009, 22:21, Reply)

Yes.

( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Sun 28 Jun 2009, 22:21, Reply)

Shame then.
Like I said, he seemed like a vaugely ok newish person. Guess I was wrong.
(Fredz A graveyard of hopes, a dump of ambition, Sun 28 Jun 2009, 22:23, Reply)

Absolutely.
Also, if you're a woman, there's a high chance you'll receive a picture of his dick. And then he'll deny it when he's called out.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Sun 28 Jun 2009, 22:40, Reply)

Tru dat

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Sun 28 Jun 2009, 22:42, Reply)

Well. Seems like a weird fucker then
Never got any photos though, probably something to do with me not being a woman. The other stuff though? Either my bullshit detector was malfunctioning, I was too tired to pick up on it or I just wasn't around enough when it kicked off. Probably a mix of three.
(Fredz A graveyard of hopes, a dump of ambition, Sun 28 Jun 2009, 22:44, Reply)

DOES THIS MEAN I'M NOT A WOMAN??????
Fredz has a point. I fear my femininininity is quite seriously under threat because I didn't get the dick pics. Please everyone, only cock can cure me now.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Sun 28 Jun 2009, 23:07, Reply)

Too late for you my dear
If he hasn't smarmed onto you enough then he's not going to now.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Sun 28 Jun 2009, 23:13, Reply)

:(
I guess he must have realised that I'm just not that kind of girl.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Sun 28 Jun 2009, 23:17, Reply)

Who the hell are you kidding
You're the kind of girl that Ed finds creepy, scary and dangerous.
( Captain V, Sun 28 Jun 2009, 23:58, Reply)

and I thought you'd be responding
to my "only cock can cure me now" comment. Your loss, dollface.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Sun 28 Jun 2009, 23:59, Reply)

Nah
I know that you have a metaphorical spring between your knees and get enough fetid cock in a week to last a normal person a lifetime.
( Captain V, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 0:01, Reply)

don't be so hard on yourself,
it didn't seem that fetid.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 0:02, Reply)

That was such a weak response
You're losing your touch in your old age (In more ways than one).
( Captain V, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 0:04, Reply)

I can't keep it up for very long.
Much like you.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 0:06, Reply)

/bites knuckles to keep from laughing
ms CHCB! that was meeeeeeeeeeeean.
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 29 Jun 2009, 0:11, Reply)

It's not my fault she's so unattractive
Fucking with my eyes closed only helps so much as her old, leathery skin feels disgusting.
( Captain V, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 0:15, Reply)

Saucer of Milk Catface?!
:P
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 29 Jun 2009, 0:16, Reply)

Not just yet
I need to go eat some grass now that CHCB has let me go.
( Captain V, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 0:17, Reply)

try hemlock.
Same emetic effect but slightly more lethal.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 0:18, Reply)

a bulimic cat, excellent.
:(
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 29 Jun 2009, 0:19, Reply)

No no no
The things CHCB forces me to do make me feel awfully sick so I find it best to just get it over and done with.
( Captain V, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 0:20, Reply)

do they leave a bad taste in your mouth?
(why am I even bothering to set you up for these gags?)
(and yes, you can pun on the word gags too)
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 0:24, Reply)

you were actually fucking the couch.
I'd given up on your intolerably unskilled thrusting and had gone for a nice cup of tea and a party ring.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 0:18, Reply)

Says a lot about you
That I couldn't tell the difference...
( Captain V, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 0:19, Reply)

Says a lot about you
that you didn't stop
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 0:20, Reply)

What can I say
It was more satisfying that you'd have been.
( Captain V, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 0:21, Reply)

same applies to the tea and the party ring

( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 0:22, Reply)

I dunno, I reckon I could just start gazzing pictures of cocks to people
I've got sod all else on at the moment!

(I'd like to state that was a joke by the way....)
(Fredz A graveyard of hopes, a dump of ambition, Sun 28 Jun 2009, 23:22, Reply)

C'mon Fredz, we're waiting

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Sun 28 Jun 2009, 23:27, Reply)

Yeah well
I've got performance anxiety now.
(Fredz A graveyard of hopes, a dump of ambition, Sun 28 Jun 2009, 23:29, Reply)

pfft

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Sun 28 Jun 2009, 23:33, Reply)

Laughter never helps matters...
(Just wondering... what exactly did he think posting pictures of his cock would acheive?)
(Fredz A graveyard of hopes, a dump of ambition, Sun 28 Jun 2009, 23:36, Reply)

no idea...
I'm just glad he never gazzed me photos.
/relief
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 29 Jun 2009, 0:10, Reply)