Anyone else cheering for Roddick?
I hope he smacks that smug SCOTTISH bastard right in the face with a tennis ball at 150mph.

I have nothing against the Scottish it's just when they keep fucking insisiting they're not British and if he won it would be a victory for Scotland ONLY. Fuck off you curly haired cunt.

If you don't like tennis you can talk about how awesome I am and/or what a massive internet bullying cuntazoid Al is.
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 16:05, 75 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Oh Badger, there you are.
It's time for your examination.
( thealternativefact, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 16:06, Reply)

I've been in a meeting most of today
What examination?
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 16:09, Reply)

Physical.

( thealternativefact, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 16:10, Reply)

Awesome
*strips off*
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 16:11, Reply)

Right, everyone else clear out, please.
That includes you, V.
( thealternativefact, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 16:12, Reply)

Awww man
But I'm so innocent, like a small child, I wont even understand what's going on.
( Captain V, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 16:14, Reply)

But I'm so innocentshort, like a small child, I wont even understandsee what's going on over the table.
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 16:15, Reply)

Lurks behind curtains

(Is this a good idea? ... Yes this is definitely a good idea, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 16:20, Reply)

I'd like to see Murray win
I don't give a shit about nationality (He could be Japanese for all I care) but there is something about him I like. I also love Federer and love watching him play but would really like to see Murray start winning a few grand slams so that there's 3 players that can realistically be expected to win the grand slams.
( Captain V, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 16:08, Reply)

whatever else about him
he's fucking good at tennis, which I approve of.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 16:31, Reply)

I hate
Scottish people that do that as well. They all forget that it was a Scottish king who united them with England and Wales!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 16:08, Reply)

it's only
cause you ENGLISH scum keep shoving all your victories (no matter how minor, or long ago), down our fucking throats as being ENGLISH ONLY - yet when it's a failure (more often than not), it's a fucking BRITISH failure.

Sorry, but you (and your masssssssive vag) are mistaken.
(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 16:09, Reply)

Sports
Where each country has a seperate team are exempt from my bitching.

Also I am never ever ever wrong. Fact
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 16:11, Reply)

lies
ON THE INTERNETZ!!
(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 16:14, Reply)

Poor haggis munchers :(

( thealternativefact, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 16:11, Reply)

also
haggis is rank
(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 16:14, Reply)

haggis
is yummy
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 16:16, Reply)

i like the small and taste of black pudding
but i've never tried haggis
(smathels left-wing not feckin' chicken wing, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 16:31, Reply)

The small
of it is very nice
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 16:33, Reply)

don't bother eating it outside scotland
and only eat it in the proper context, i.e. as part of a fry up
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 16:36, Reply)

well...its like that sushi from M&S
"contains no raw fish" 0o
(smathels left-wing not feckin' chicken wing, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 16:49, Reply)

I had some nice stuff in Edinbruh.
But previous haggisy experiences have been dire.
Enjoying the sunshine?
( thealternativefact, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 16:17, Reply)

if he wins
he is british, or more likely, english

if he loses, then he is scottish. british at a push

but i think he has gotten far enough to become english from here on in
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 16:09, Reply)

and that
therein lies the problem.

Any success by any member of the British Isles sporting world is automatically claimed as being solely BRITISH - unless you wear the white and red, then you are of course, ENGLISH. And it seems to be the only fucking country on the planet who fails to recognise that we are all separate nationalities, and not all fucking ENGLISH.
(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 16:13, Reply)

yay
lets stoke the flames of racial hatred, those english sporting victory, hypocritical cunts
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 16:17, Reply)

I think people that hype up ENGLISH
people suck as well.

But less than people who hype on about forriners pretending to be british. Until they win then they say we should let the altletic people in.

Immigration: How fast can you run 100m?
Man: just under 9.5
Immigration: You're in, no no don't bother showing me all that paper crap
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 16:20, Reply)

Even if they have a beadlehand?
Doesn't really affect the running, I guess.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 16:22, Reply)

It will when they're crouched down ready to start.
He'll lose his balance.
( thealternativefact, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 16:24, Reply)

Ah, that explains it.

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 16:26, Reply)

No beadlehands allowed
Theres a deformed hand with a red line through it and everything
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 16:26, Reply)

Beadelhands
will be tolerated as long as they can achieve sporting success

this is a fact

if not, they are declared scottish and sent back across the border with a full Jimmy Krankie escort
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 16:30, Reply)

I hope he gets fucked, arrogant little wank.

I hope he gets to match point then has to retire hurt with a serious injury.



Edit: He's just lost the first set.
(Kia Ora it's 2 orangey 4 crows, it's just 4 me and my dog, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 16:14, Reply)

at least
this is a proper reason for not wanting him to win.

He is a smug fuck.
(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 16:16, Reply)

I did say smug in my post
That is the main reason I HATE HIM HAAATTTTTTE HAAAAAAAATE

*gets carted away by clendrix*
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 16:17, Reply)

*wheels cart to safe place*

( thealternativefact, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 16:18, Reply)

Your boobs are very soothing

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 16:21, Reply)

*has a poke at boobs*
hmm yes very sooth
(smathels left-wing not feckin' chicken wing, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 17:25, Reply)

that you did
but you also preceded it by a giant SCOTTISH, which was the cause of my ire.
(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 16:31, Reply)

I didn't preceed it
SCOTTISH came after. Postceed? *makes up words*

I only did that as whenever murray says he's SCOTTISH I can hear the caps
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 16:36, Reply)

I think your awsome
(no brown nosing intended)
(smathels left-wing not feckin' chicken wing, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 16:26, Reply)

YOUR?!?!
FAIL
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 16:28, Reply)

It's a harsh, harsh world.

( thealternativefact, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 16:33, Reply)

full of error on grammar & spelting mistakes
ps. i done this on purpose grammar badger, no reaping my soul plz
(smathels left-wing not feckin' chicken wing, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 16:58, Reply)

On purpose
in every single one of your posts? Dedication
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 17:00, Reply)

the thing is
and I have direct experience of this, the welsh and scottish are far fucking worse with the sporting crap than the english.

the welsh in particular are the most horrible losers ever, and even worse winners when it comes to making excuses or rubbing your face in it.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 16:35, Reply)

I am British
but not English, Scottish or Welsh so you can stick all that shit up your arses.
( thealternativefact, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 16:36, Reply)

You're just awesome.
I'm makign Awesome a nationality
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 16:40, Reply)

You and me both, babe.
You and me both.
( thealternativefact, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 16:43, Reply)

Awesome
I crown us both Queens of Awesomeland

V will be the court Jester and Wookie can be the weird Adviser (like that evil one in Aladdin)
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 16:45, Reply)

I assume you mean capt V
rather than me?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 16:46, Reply)

Yeah
You can be the Court loot player or something
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 16:47, Reply)

Oh dear me no.
Lute. Unless he's play the ad paper and a comb, I suppose.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 16:48, Reply)

or bashing a sack full of silver together

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 16:50, Reply)

Surely the risk to your delicate guitaring fingers would be too great?

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 16:51, Reply)

Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

( thealternativefact, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 16:51, Reply)

i'd prefer it if vipros played the ode

(smathels left-wing not feckin' chicken wing, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 17:00, Reply)

I've had a go on one
I reckon I can manage
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 19:05, Reply)

balls to that
I'm English, but I maintain that every nationality/race/creed has an equal proportion of cunts in it.

except the americans, they have more
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 16:41, Reply)

I agree,
but what I'm saying is I am not English, Scottish or (THANK FUCK) Welsh, so I need not be drawn into this web of hatred.
( thealternativefact, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 16:43, Reply)

Cornish eh?
they're the worst of a bad bunch ;-)
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 16:44, Reply)

Yep!
*prouds*
( thealternativefact, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 16:47, Reply)

huh, i would have taking ya for a mick

(smathels left-wing not feckin' chicken wing, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 17:03, Reply)

No. I hate potatoes.
/mild racism
( thealternativefact, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 17:08, Reply)

how many potatoes does it take to kill an irishman?
none
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 19:08, Reply)

on the main tennis page
on the BBC - the headline:

Murray 'not thinking about semi'
(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 16:56, Reply)

haha
But his girlfrind is
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 16:58, Reply)

If he stuffs it halfway in
does that mean he can say he lost his virginity?
( thealternativefact, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 17:01, Reply)

50/50 loss

(smathels left-wing not feckin' chicken wing, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 17:07, Reply)

I would just like...
to open a new tin of worms into this one.

Because, for all that the Scots harp on about us oppressing them, if you take the time to trace the lineage of the royal family, right back from the first Saxon kings, it eventually becomes apparent that Brenda (Her Maj) is not actually all that German. By blood, the British royal family are more Scottish than they are any other nationality.

And we have a Scottish PM. Who's oppressing who now, you ginger buggers in skirts?
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 17:00, Reply)

Fucking Gordon Brown
Give us English free antibiotics please. The fact I work and have to pay £7 to stop various things falling off or going septic annoys me no end.

Scotland 1 - England 0
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 17:01, Reply)

I'll have you know
I am not ginger, and I most certainly don't bugger. Skirts maybe when the missus wants me to wear it
(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 17:02, Reply)

I bet you are.
You ginger bugger in a skirt.

Meh, who am I to complain? You lot have haggis and the world's finest whiskies. Your beer's pretty good these days as well.
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 17:10, Reply)

haggis
is a load of old tripe.

I'll concede on the whisky though - haven't tasted our beer in ages cause they don't sell it here in Spain.
(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 17:21, Reply)

yeah that bells and famous grouse
so much better then that bourbon whiskey
(smathels left-wing not feckin' chicken wing, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 17:23, Reply)

indeed it is
for normal, non-special occasion drinking, nothing beats a Bell's
(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 17:28, Reply)