A cautionary tale
Yesterday me and Mrs al went into town to have lunch near the river with Mrs al's Irish friend and her man who had stayed out ours the previous night.

We were sat outside and the women went in to order the food while the men stayed outside to make sure everything was okay with the beer we were drinking. Eventually the women returned with the news that, if we wanted to eat outside we had to
1) get take away fish and chips; or
2) order our food to a table inside, wait for it to arrive and then take it outside ourselves.
The reason for this clearly being that the waiting staff in the pub suffered from heliophobia. Or possibly piss poor management.

So we moved inside to have our food which was due in twenty minutes, and we waited. And waited.

And waited.


...


And waited.

And eventually three of our meals turned up with apologies from the waitress, then shortly afterwards a fourth meal turned up. It was roast chicken with chips and gravy, but Mrs al didn't' order roast chicken with chips and gravy, she ordered roast chicken with yorkshire puddings, roast potatoes and vegetables. So the meal was sent back.

And five minutes later the nervous waitress returned with the receipt and nervously tried to explain that we had apparently ordered roast chicken with chips and gravy and then a greasy looking cunt from behind the bar turned up behind her to explain that, the roast chicken meal that the he had put into the till was 90p cheaper than the one she wanted, and so she would have to pay the extra 90p in order to be allowed her lunch.

At which point I got very angry shouted at him that we had waited an hour and that it was their mistake and they should bloody well sort it out. He came back with calming hand gestures and tried to explain that "I'm just trying to sort this out" and I had to point out that if he was sorting it out, he would have brought us the food and apologised to us and not asked for 90 sodding pence.

Turns out, that some waiters have a lot to learn from doctors and that double checking orders could save you being shouted at by angry punters.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 9:27, 39 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I'd have spat in your food
you cunt
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 9:29, Reply)

I often forget that
You're a real person, as well as an internet Troll.

I think that in a situation like this, shouting is totally valid.
( Cawl, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 9:31, Reply)

Also,
Maybe you should have punched up a fuckin' shit-storm.
( Cawl, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 9:34, Reply)

I was all poised for climbing over the table
and shouting in his face, but he backed down straight away.

How does anyone have the balls to quibble over 90p when you've got 4 pissed off punters in front of you?
(Bazongaloid, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 9:36, Reply)

Are you jealous
as you have no gentalia?
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 9:38, Reply)

I'm jealous becuase I only have 67p.

(Bazongaloid, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 9:39, Reply)

You owe me
67p
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 9:40, Reply)

You've just stolen my dinner money
and mrs al won't be getting a birthday card this year.

I hope you're happy.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 9:45, Reply)

meh
I could be happier. Say if you accidentally fell down a manhole all the way to Australia
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 9:46, Reply)

That would only happen if someone were stupid enough
to stick a dog on the edge of an open manhole.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 9:49, Reply)

I think you mean
cunning enough *evil laugh*
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 9:50, Reply)

I'm developing a phobia of dogs now.
and manholes.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 9:52, Reply)

sounds like a perfectly rational fear to me
therefore not a phobia
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 9:58, Reply)

So be fair,
If it was somewhere that you paid afterwards for food, no way would you ever be kept waiting an hour. And if you were, you'd expect free stuff.
( Cawl, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 9:39, Reply)

this is completely true
what cocks.

I had a chocolate "milk"shake from mcdonalds yesterday. it was awesome. as usual.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 9:49, Reply)

In this kind of situation, you're more then entitled to be angry.
It was their fuckup. You shouldn't have to pay. The manager sounds like a cunt. Glad I don't work for him.
That said, that waitress not only got the bollocking of her life from you - she also most likely got one from her boss, AND from the chef out in the kitchen. You don't have to be rude to get what you want - a simple "no we didn't ask for this and we're not paying the extra 90p, can you please just fix this or we'll take our services elsewhere," would have sufficed.
Everybody could have done better in those circumstances including you.

/end daily post for Al.
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 6 Jul 2009, 9:55, Reply)

I didn't shout at the waitress
I shouted at the greasy twat. We said thank you to the waitress when she eventually brought the right food.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 10:03, Reply)

well then that's okay.
But having been on the recieving end of people shouting (at work we go by rotation; person A will take the order and person B will serve, the whole night through), when it isn't my fault, I can say it's pretty nasty. And as I said - the boss sounds like a cunt just from your description. My boss is the same.
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 6 Jul 2009, 10:09, Reply)

Al is your boss?!

( Captain V, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 10:14, Reply)

Why do think i'm so down on her moving to the UK
I don't want to lose my workhorse.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 10:17, Reply)

really? i thought it was cos you were scared of the fluff invasion.
/cuddles al reassuringly
:p
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 6 Jul 2009, 10:28, Reply)

No, it's because I'm a collosal racist.
A lot like Clendrix, except I can tell them apart.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 10:30, Reply)

yeah yeah whatever. You're a massive cunt on the outside,
but I know there's fluff inside you somewhere. You were very nice and helpful to me once upon a time.
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 6 Jul 2009, 10:33, Reply)

Uh Oh,
You've done it now. Exposing Al as a do-gooding fluffykin. Blood will flow.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Mon 6 Jul 2009, 10:51, Reply)

Don't care.
I know I rail on at him for being a cunt a lot - just thought he should know I remember when he was nice - very far back in the past.
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 6 Jul 2009, 11:00, Reply)

Before I got to him and turned him

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 11:01, Reply)

These days we only hang around with him for his pork sword(s)

( Captain V, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 11:02, Reply)

Why'd you have to go and do that eh? Miserable cow.
I'm only kidding
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 6 Jul 2009, 11:07, Reply)

Don't apologise, she is miserable,
In fact, stop fucking apologising and clarifying your comments all the time, it gets very tedious.

If you're on b3ta it's a given that you probably don't mean half of what you say e.g. I don't really think Captain V should have no opinions, but I do think that Kaol is a vampire.

So go nuts, be mean to someone without meaning it.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 11:12, Reply)

Sound advice young man, sound advice.
Now bend over and take your punishment like a ladyboy.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Mon 6 Jul 2009, 11:18, Reply)

Fuck off Al

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 11:20, Reply)

But I don't like being mean to people you shitty jockstrap.
Better?
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 6 Jul 2009, 11:21, Reply)

Well that just smacks of desperation
it's almost worse than the pandering.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 11:29, Reply)

Someone fireup the anti-pandertron

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 11:33, Reply)

Oh I'm a miserable cow?
Oh please. Do not get me started on the reasons why I consider you to be fucking pathetic and an oxygen thief...you'll only gaz me an A4 sized missive whinging and blubbering again.

Why doesn't the internet understand fuck off?
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 11:19, Reply)

Love you too.
Lots and lots. And I'm not really fussed Becky - think what you like.
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 6 Jul 2009, 11:22, Reply)

No worries treacle, I will.

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 11:23, Reply)

I like this
I've now recast Star Wars with becky as the emperor, al as vader and vc as luke and am watching all the juicy family turmoily bits in my head.

all very amusing. thank you.

/relurks
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 12:42, Reply)

I just booked the table for my birthday dinner
At a proper grown-up restaurant.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 10:40, Reply)