Since I work in an office by myself
I don't bother closing the toilet door when having a wee, or a poo for that matter.

The other day I was heading home and I put my bag in the car and nipped back in for a wee, leaving the front door open. It only occurred to me part way through that it could have caused some embarrassment if someone were to come in only to be confronted by a large beard chap loudly urinating whilst humming and swaying his hips from side to side in an attempt to cover as much of the bowl as possible.

When have you last done something you should have thought better of?
(Bazongaloid, Wed 8 Jul 2009, 15:23, 70 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

This morning.

( thealternativefact, Wed 8 Jul 2009, 15:24, Reply)

I hope you wiped your face afterwards

(Bazongaloid, Wed 8 Jul 2009, 15:26, Reply)

Last night

( Captain V, Wed 8 Jul 2009, 15:25, Reply)

I hope you remembered to steal her crock of gold afterwards.

(Bazongaloid, Wed 8 Jul 2009, 15:26, Reply)

Her?
I wasn't talking 'bout no woman.
( Captain V, Wed 8 Jul 2009, 15:30, Reply)

You was talkin' 'bout Shaft.

(Bazongaloid, Wed 8 Jul 2009, 15:35, Reply)

shut yo mouth!

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 8 Jul 2009, 15:36, Reply)

Was that
last night when you got lost? Twice?

Navigation ain't you're your strong point, baby.

(Three times, if we include your inability to locate the clitoris.)
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Wed 8 Jul 2009, 16:31, Reply)

Oh my fucking word.
"you're" strong point? What were you thinking?
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Wed 8 Jul 2009, 16:33, Reply)

DAMMIT!
I'm a bit tired today.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Wed 8 Jul 2009, 16:34, Reply)

We're not angry,
just disappointed.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Wed 8 Jul 2009, 16:41, Reply)

I've shamed myself too.
I'm going to go for a beer and think about what I've done.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Wed 8 Jul 2009, 16:42, Reply)

your/you're confusion AND bladder control issues?
It's really not your day.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Wed 8 Jul 2009, 16:44, Reply)

Tena Lady and a book on grammar
and all will be well.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Wed 8 Jul 2009, 16:44, Reply)

Poor effort.
1/10.
See me after class, CHCB.
( Cawl, Wed 8 Jul 2009, 16:35, Reply)

will there be corporal punishment?

( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Wed 8 Jul 2009, 16:37, Reply)

Suspension,
Most likely.
( Cawl, Wed 8 Jul 2009, 16:38, Reply)

Meathook?

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Wed 8 Jul 2009, 16:43, Reply)

Quite likely.

( Cawl, Wed 8 Jul 2009, 16:46, Reply)

About five minutes ago.

( Cawl, Wed 8 Jul 2009, 15:26, Reply)

I hope you remembered to put down plastic this time

(Bazongaloid, Wed 8 Jul 2009, 15:26, Reply)

Nah, this wasn't murder,
It was "telling the future without a licence".
( Cawl, Wed 8 Jul 2009, 15:27, Reply)

If anyone pissed on my toilet seat, I'ld lay da smack down on bitch's arse.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 8 Jul 2009, 15:27, Reply)

I had the toilet seat up
I was trying to wee over as much of the area below the rim as possible.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 8 Jul 2009, 15:28, Reply)

Oooh, good man, I approve of your pissing stance.
Double points for clearing out that 3 month old skidmark.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 8 Jul 2009, 15:30, Reply)

I was talking to my chickens and my neighbour was watching me with a surprised look
meh
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 8 Jul 2009, 15:28, Reply)

Was this before or after you kissed the tramp?

( Cawl, Wed 8 Jul 2009, 15:29, Reply)

Stop perpetuating rumours you rumour perpetuator you

( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 8 Jul 2009, 15:31, Reply)

It's true!
b3ta.com/questions/tramps/post471981
( Cawl, Wed 8 Jul 2009, 15:34, Reply)

She "pecked" me on the cheek
which was enough to give me 17 sexually transmitted diseases and typhoid
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 8 Jul 2009, 15:39, Reply)

'talking to my chickens'
is that an analogy for, raping spastics?
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Wed 8 Jul 2009, 15:30, Reply)

It is not.
He has chickens. The kind that lay eggs.
( Cawl, Wed 8 Jul 2009, 15:31, Reply)

Lucy doesnt lay anymore
but she's a great conversationalist, so she is still useful
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 8 Jul 2009, 15:33, Reply)

like ym

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 8 Jul 2009, 15:34, Reply)

Yes

( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 8 Jul 2009, 15:37, Reply)

Ah, egg laying chickens
as opposed to drooling imbeciles

i tend to get mixed up with those two to be honest
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Wed 8 Jul 2009, 15:41, Reply)

No
but it is a euphemism
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 8 Jul 2009, 15:32, Reply)

*doffs cap*
i stand corrected
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Wed 8 Jul 2009, 15:43, Reply)

No probs, I was only having a larf
I don't have the grammatical knowledge or spelling ability to be a real pedant.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 8 Jul 2009, 15:50, Reply)

cant believe this hasnt bindun already
YM
(bazmorningstar efil4nat3b, Wed 8 Jul 2009, 15:30, Reply)

you've not seen his mum
you wouldn't think better of it. oh no.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 8 Jul 2009, 15:34, Reply)

Don't go on B3ta when you're drunk.
That is all.
( girlinthehole, Wed 8 Jul 2009, 15:31, Reply)

who have you been propositioning?

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 8 Jul 2009, 15:33, Reply)

Pfft!
I usually do that sober.
( girlinthehole, Wed 8 Jul 2009, 15:34, Reply)

:(

( Cawl, Wed 8 Jul 2009, 15:34, Reply)

That's not the face you made the last time we met.

( girlinthehole, Wed 8 Jul 2009, 15:42, Reply)

More crying?

( Cawl, Wed 8 Jul 2009, 15:44, Reply)

Yup!
Like the big girly vampire that you are.
( girlinthehole, Wed 8 Jul 2009, 15:49, Reply)

I'm not a vampire.

( Cawl, Wed 8 Jul 2009, 15:50, Reply)

The first rule of vampyrism is exceptance.
The second rule is don't get blood on your shirt as it's a bugger to remove.
( girlinthehole, Wed 8 Jul 2009, 15:52, Reply)

Not if you wear black.
Also, I'm not a vampire.
( Cawl, Wed 8 Jul 2009, 15:53, Reply)

Ok you're not a vampire.....
But you are a very naughty boy.
( girlinthehole, Wed 8 Jul 2009, 15:56, Reply)

She sent me a picture of her special garden

(Bazongaloid, Wed 8 Jul 2009, 15:34, Reply)

how are the "marrows"
?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 8 Jul 2009, 15:35, Reply)

Take a look
for yourself
(Bazongaloid, Wed 8 Jul 2009, 15:36, Reply)

Mine's a bit more overgrown than that and has a tramp living behind the shed.

( girlinthehole, Wed 8 Jul 2009, 15:40, Reply)

About 10 minutes ago
Fell asleep in a meeting and farted, apparently.

Classy bird, me. At least my boss wasn't in the room...
(berk, Wed 8 Jul 2009, 16:02, Reply)

Oh al...
No one really wants to heard about your large, bearded 'chap'.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 8 Jul 2009, 16:39, Reply)

Speshally as it ain't all that large...

( thealternativefact, Wed 8 Jul 2009, 16:39, Reply)

Tru dat
Or so Tightly told me.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 8 Jul 2009, 16:40, Reply)

Tightly by name, tightly by nature
and yet still too wide for Al.
( thealternativefact, Wed 8 Jul 2009, 16:44, Reply)

Ooooof!
That's the kind of comment that would earn you a long rambling gaz about how you don't know me.

If I were that way inclined.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 8 Jul 2009, 16:47, Reply)

You know, right,
that in the middle of the Second World War Hitler sent telegrams to heads of state of the Allies in a similar style. Right?

Just saying.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Wed 8 Jul 2009, 16:52, Reply)

Al has a Hitler moustache on his chin!

( thealternativefact, Wed 8 Jul 2009, 16:53, Reply)

Facecist!

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Wed 8 Jul 2009, 17:07, Reply)

Harsh


but fair.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 8 Jul 2009, 16:46, Reply)

Speaking of the Danish Marauder...
where is he?
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 8 Jul 2009, 16:49, Reply)

Watching cricket

(Bazongaloid, Wed 8 Jul 2009, 16:49, Reply)

England seem to be doing pretty well
238-4. I believe that's a pretty good score as these things go.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 8 Jul 2009, 16:50, Reply)

But that's an English pastime
Or West Indian or Seth Efrican or Australian.

He's Denmarkian and they're not exactly renowned for their love of men whacking balls off other mens wood.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 8 Jul 2009, 16:51, Reply)