I'm going out for the day but I wanted to ask a question before I left
How guilty are you of taking the internet too seriously sometimes? I know I have from time to time, not on here, but on another forum I use because I know the people very well in real life and as such you can't use the 'just pixels on a screen' comment because I know that they'd say the same to me in real life.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Sun 12 Jul 2009, 10:18, 21 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Yeah, I don't care if it's 'anonymous'
But if you've got to know someone, or at least think you have, then it's easy to be just as hurt or angry or whatever as you would if they were emailing you or speaking to you in person. If it's some random though, I'd use your MTFU mantra...
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Sun 12 Jul 2009, 10:30, Reply)

I think I do, occasionally.
occasionally quite a lot

I will take most of what is going on here in good faith, it's just when I'm in a bad mood I'll take it to heart.
For example, insinuating me being with a CERTAIN b3tan on here. Now that made me angry/upset/take the internet too seriously.

Jesus Christ what a weird night last night.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Sun 12 Jul 2009, 12:17, Reply)

I talk to people online
as if we were talking face-to-face. I don't *think* I've ever genuinely insulted anyone* on this site in nearly five years...

I suppose in that sense, I take it as seriously as I take real life.

*of course, I've said things which were clearly in jest
( chart cat has an itch, Sun 12 Jul 2009, 12:48, Reply)

I probably am right now
because I read your post becky, and my first thought was "she's trying to blame others (again) for the fact that she hurts people". And it pissed me off.

And so now I'm sat here thinking about what I'd say to you in real life.
It would be along the lines of "MTFU for real. Stop projecting accountability onto the people you upset. Their feelings might be their own responsibility but you're still responsible for deliberately being a cunt. Not a funny b3ta type cunt, an actual cunt. A nasty person.
And I actually feel a bit sorry for you, because you don't seem to have any true friends here - the sort of friend who would take you to one side and say "Becky, you're not doing yourself any favours, in fact you're making a bit of an arse of yourself... it's not a good look, you're even starting to look a bit desperate, and as a friend I'm mentioning it because I think if you stop being like this you might start to feel a bit better about yourself and might not feel the need to be such a bitch all the time. You might even start liking yourself".
You just seem to have people who either crave your attention, even when you're a cunt to them too, because any attention is good attention for some people, or people who like being a cunt as much as you do and think there is safety in numbers, and so you encourage each other as it helps you all feel better about it.

I'd have more respect for you if you stopped trying to justify it by blaming other people and just admitted you're a cunt."

Correct me if I'm wrong. Or make a personal attack, with a puppet if you like. But oh yeah - you're just pixels on a screen, aren't you?
( warmfuzzies Isn't here, Sun 12 Jul 2009, 13:07, Reply)

Yeah
What *she* said....

nah seriously Becky, be nice to Maladicta. Please?
(pizzaforcat ate some cement and HARDENED the FUCK UP on, Sun 12 Jul 2009, 13:15, Reply)

I've been guilty on here, many many months ago
bit of an argument on /links until I realsied what an idiot I was being for arguing. On. The. Internet. - With a conspiracy theorist of all people.
Ever since then, the internet holds no fear of being serious for me, and I don't take it as such.
People become braver when they're behind their 19" suits of armour, and most of it is just bravado, or saying what they dare not say in real life.
Hence, no reason to take any of it seriously.
( The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Sun 12 Jul 2009, 13:21, Reply)

Trudat about bravado
And of course I might not say that to becky in real life, because I'm not a particularly confrontational person.

But neither do I pretend to be someone I'm not here, and I tend to judge people by my own standards - I assume other people genuinely show their true colours too. So as in real life I see that the bigger a front someone has, the more they are hiding behind it. I don't get too upset about things people say to me - but I do get pissed off when I see them getting personal and trying to upset other people. Is that taking it too seriously?
( warmfuzzies Isn't here, Sun 12 Jul 2009, 13:49, Reply)

I assume that was a reply to my post :)
I wouldn't know if that was taking it too seriously, but people do have options available to them (on b3ta, at least) to prevent getting wound up by other users.

If people start getting personal, then that is no more than trolling for a rise. Any reaction speaking out feeds such trolls, and doesn't really solve anything. Silence, can indeed, be golden in such times. If there's no audience, there's no fun for a troll. Like you say, I am also someone who 'is what he is' on here. I have enough to do with one persona, let alone make something up and waste time with another one :)
( The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Sun 12 Jul 2009, 13:53, Reply)

Yeah
I do agree about feeding the trolls. Trying to stay emotionally uninvolved is sometimes easier said than done though.

Like now - I guess I'm guilty of getting personal too now, by speaking my mind in my first post... Dammit internet. You make hypocrites of us all. Although I'm not actually trying to upset anyone, or get a rise... just saying something I've wanted to say for a long time.

I used to think it would be fun to pretend to be someone else on the internet and do things totally out of character. But I just can't do it... it's hard work!
( warmfuzzies Isn't here, Sun 12 Jul 2009, 14:13, Reply)

you're not wrong there :)

( The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Sun 12 Jul 2009, 14:20, Reply)

Mostly
WYSIWYG. I can't be arsed with personas etc. Far too much wasted energy. I am who I am and if you don't like it then ignore me, I won't be offended. I do take some things seriously and after a good rant it's over and I will tend not to reply further. Sometimes I don't even bother with a rant. No point poking your eyes when you can't see anymore.

However sometimes being a cunt is just too good to pass up and if people know the persona you are using they will know whether to be offended or not or if it should simply be ignored.

Enough bollox. As you were.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Sun 12 Jul 2009, 13:50, Reply)

It's just the fucking internet.

( WormuIus, Sun 12 Jul 2009, 15:20, Reply)

This is actually my second formulated response as I thought you deserved a more considered reply than my first.
If you had a serious problem, would b3ta really be your first port of call? Of course not. You would ask your doctor or friends and family before you posted it onto a comedy website where you knew full well that people may treat it seriously or they may well take the piss.

I will freely hold my hands up and say that I encouraged the dissemination of HSH threads because they were filled with the same posts day after day and then went on to advocate different threads on different subject matter to keep things interesting here. If you went to a cake shop – OMG SHE SAID THE ‘C’WORD!1!!!1!!! – and you ordered the same thing every day, would you not get a little tired of it perhaps? I know that I would. Reading the same hugs, cup of tea’s and lasagne comments day after day gets mundane and dull very fast.

I don’t think I ever stated that I wasn’t a cunt, correct me if I’m wrong. It’s not something that I revel in, but yes I certainly agree with you that I have a nasty side. Guess what though, EVERYONE DOES. It’s up to them whether or not they reveal it though. Many of you have met me and would attest to the fact that I’m not a mean or nasty person in real life, but nor am I greatly different to how I am on here. If I don’t like someone, I let them know if they have upset or offended me or I put them on ignore. Let’s face it, if I was mean and nasty, I would have very very few friends on here or in real life, no social skills... in fact very few of the things that make me the person I am. Thing is though, I like me. I like being me. I didn’t like myself for a long time – but that’s a story for another day – but I’ve come to terms with the person that I am and face my own demons each day just as everyone else does.

"she's trying to blame others (again) for the fact that she hurts people" How exactly am I doing this? Unless you’ve seen the gazzes that I’ve sent then you have no idea of the suggestions (actually nice, non patronising ones – shock horror I know!) that I have sent to people. I don’t agree with people who go through life acting like a victim because of something that was beyond their power at the time. I truly feel that there comes a time when you need to accept responsibility for your current actions and either apologise or fuck off. So on that note, I hereby apologise to anyone I have offended by my actions on the internet, but I also ask you to reflect on your own behaviour if you are less than the perfect figure of a man or woman that warmfuzzyfeeling seems to hold as the current standard. I am a flawed person and I’m happy with that.

So in taking off the meat puppet as they’re clearly so very last week...
Warmfuzzyfeeling, thank you for your considered response. You make a helluva lot of assumptions about me having never met me and never spoken to me other than to talk AT me on facebook via someone else’s wall post. That’s also very brave of you instead of gazzing me or calling me out on the board. Well done. You state that you would call me a cunt and an attention whore in real life then go on to retract that because you don’t like confrontation in real life. Which is it to be? Granted we’ll most likely never meet, but why make such statements if you’re then going to backtrack further down the line? Hell you even speak to me ‘as a friend’. I don’t have friends that call me a cunt, so I reject your friendship thanks all the same. Taking the internet too seriously maybe? I’ve never said anything derogatory about you, but you’ve come in all guns blazing, calling me a cunt after the fact which makes me wonder how long you spend thinking about an appropriate response and then posting it. You don’t like me, not a problem as I don’t know you. Put me on ignore then.

Vampyrecat, we’ve spoken many times on here and via gaz. I have no expectations for you other than to behave like a b3tan – maybe try reading the FAQ up there if you’re in any doubt as to what the creators of the site have decided the general tone of the site is. None of my posts have been said out of hatred, especially to you. Merely confusion as to what you’re doing on here really. You seem like an intelligent person who is capable of formulating interesting posts and responses and yet they all end in fluff or teenage angst. Yes I have queried your lifestyle choices, but then to me a 17 year old who is planning on moving several thousand miles to be with a guy in his 30s, whom she’s never actually met to escape from her current life speaks volumes about you. I wish you no malice and I’m sure nobody else on here does, but honestly try to not take things so seriously or put anyone who annoys you on ignore as you’re so keen on advising me.

Everyone else, I’m not going to revert to offering tea and cake and fluff, but nor will I be spending as much time on here in the evenings if this place goes back to how it was. No great loss for me or for you I’m sure. I like and admire a lot of you and I will miss some of our daytime chats.

At the end of the day, b3ta is a comedy website and I would have no problem saying this to any of you in person, my opinion of you may change if we met as indeed your opinion of me might change. That’s the power of words, you can choose to let them hurt you, or you can ignore them and move on with your life. It’s really your choice. This isn’t a flounce in case you were wondering, merely me reiterating what I’ve been saying for a very long time now.

That’s 15 minutes of my life that I’m not getting back, but I think it deserved to be said. I make no apology for length...but then I’m a cunt, so you wouldn’t really expect an apology. Would you?
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Sun 12 Jul 2009, 18:26, Reply)

OK
If I've made assumptions I'm sorry - I've just been going off the information in front of me, both here and on facebook. I've seen you make personal attacks on people and then insist it's their own fault they're upset. Yes I agree, as I said - people's feelings are their own responsibility and I don't believe in victimhood. But when an attack is deliberate, you can't hold THEM responsible for YOUR behaviour. That's what I take issue with. That's not comedy.

Speaking of FB, when we had that discussion on FB I mentioned that I had actually called you out on the board too, but you must have missed that. You never answered it. Anyway, I called you out here today.

EDIT: And, um, I didn't call you an attention whore, and I didn't speak to you "as a friend". Anyway. I hate splitting hairs, it's so petty.

I never said you or anyone else should be perfect. I'm not a fascist. Just don't like seeing people getting hurt by someone who is deliberately trying to do it.

I stand by everything I said. I haven't backtracked on anything, only said that I'm not very confrontational, and I probably would not confront you in real life. And yes it took me a while to compose that post because I'm not very confrontational on the internet either... We're not all blessed with your confidence.

And as I said too - the internet does make hypocrites of all of us. I shouldn't have called you a cunt. Sorry.
( warmfuzzies Isn't here, Sun 12 Jul 2009, 18:55, Reply)

Having never met me or spoken to me before, yes you have made assumptions about me. Please don't think for a second that you know me or anything about me other than what I choose to put up on these boards.
I also stand by what I've said. I think it is someone's fault if they are upset by words on a screen, said by someone who doesn't know them. I'm not in the slightest bit upset about what you've said about me today, mildly irritated which is why I came on here to answer it, but it's not something that will keep me awake at night.

Again, if you knew me you would know that I'm not the most confident of people, I have my hangups just the same as anyone else.

Edit: I didn't reply to what you said on the board because it was around 12 hours after the fact which I referred to up there. I didn't see what good it would do to stir it all up again after we had already discussed it at length on facebook.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Sun 12 Jul 2009, 19:06, Reply)

Interesting
...Again, if you knew me you would know that I'm not the most confident of people, I have my hangups just the same as anyone else....

You may not believe this, but from this end of teh interwebs, it doesn't appear that way...
(CheatingRabbit, Sun 12 Jul 2009, 19:46, Reply)

Certainly interesting since my pet hate is arrogant people, they're the reason why I left my BBC job as I'd go home in tears most days.
Oh well, I guess you can't please everyone.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Sun 12 Jul 2009, 19:59, Reply)

.
I meant that to be complimentary...
(CheatingRabbit, Sun 12 Jul 2009, 20:14, Reply)

Puts down stick, picks up correct end of it.
Thanks
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Sun 12 Jul 2009, 20:23, Reply)

Jelly?
Or mud...
(pizzaforcat ate some cement and HARDENED the FUCK UP on, Mon 13 Jul 2009, 5:30, Reply)

Baked fucking beans
Every time!
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Mon 13 Jul 2009, 11:36, Reply)